by Kaylee Ryan
Chapter 39
Evan
I thought I would be nervous, but I’m not. I know this is the right thing to do. Her parents think the same thing. Hell, even Aaron agrees with me. This whole situation is surreal.
“Is this it?” she asks as I park in front of the old red barn.
“This is it.” I hop out and open the cargo area where I snuck a couple of blankets.
“Where did those come from?” she questions me.
“I put them in there earlier. I was banking on you saying yes to getting out of the house.”
“You calling me a sure thing?” she teases.
I close the hatch on the Durango and throw my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. “Never, baby. I was just hopeful you would spend the evening with me.”
“Let’s see this pond,” she says. She’s trying not to get too close; I recognize the signs. I fought it just as hard, but I don’t want to anymore. She’s going to be my wife, and while she is, for however long that may be, I want this to be real.
I keep my arm around her as we walk down toward the pond. “Watch your step,” I tell her when we reach a section of uneven land. There is a wall of trees sheltering this side of the pond. It’s great for shade on a hot summer’s day.
“You sure you know where you’re going?” she asks as we walk through the tree line.
“You don’t trust me?”
“No, I do. It’s just…”
“Right there,” I say, motioning with my head. She pulls her eyes from mine and looks in front of us. The huge pond is lit with nothing but the moonlight surrounded by stars.
“Wow,” she breathes. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah,” I agree with her, but I’m not looking at the pond. My eyes are glued to her. We reach a shadowed edge and I stop her. “Let me lay these down.” I spread one thick quilt down on the grass and take a seat. I hold my hand out for her and help her with her balance while she takes her place next to me. I throw the other blanket over us and she snuggles in close.
“This is nice,” she says as she takes in our surroundings. “This place is so peaceful.”
“Yeah, even during the day it’s like that. It’s great for fishing. I’ve spent many hot summer days at this pond.”
Turning her head, she looks up at me. “Thank you for sharing it with me.” She shivers, but tries to cover it up.
“Come here.” I throw back the blanket and spread my legs, patting between them. She doesn’t hesitate to climb over and settle against my chest. I cover us back up with the blanket. This time, my arms are wrapped tight around her.
“I did have an ulterior motive for asking you to hang out with me tonight. There are a few things I want to tell you. When we are at my place or even my parents’, it seems like we get sidetracked with Lexi, and I just wanted to spend some time with you so I could get this out.” I feel her stiffen in my arms. I bury my face in her neck and place a gentle kiss against her skin. “It’s not bad. I just want to get all of this out in the open before the wedding.”
I’m glad she’s not facing me. I’m nervous as hell, and I’m sure I would botch the speech I’d planned if I were looking her in the eye. “I need you to know this is a real marriage to me. I will respect you and provide for you. You’ve done so much for me, that I just…I need for you to understand, for me, this is real. It’s not just some arrangement. I want to share each day with you. I want you in my bed at night. I know it’s temporary, and I don’t expect anything more than what you’ve given me, but there will be no one else for me while we’re married. It’s you and me, McKinley. I just need for you to know that. Need you to know where I stand with all of this. Everything happened so fast, and I just…it’s more.”
I don’t say anything else, giving her the time she needs to process what I’ve said. I just hold her in my arms and wait.
“So…” She clears her throat. “So, you want us to be together, as husband and wife, completely until this arrangement is over?” she asks.
No! I want to yell. I want this for as long as you’ll have me. Not just until the risk of losing Lexi is gone. I can hear the hope in her voice and this arrangement is how she wants it, how it has to be. She needs a man who doesn’t have a ready-made family. I know she loves Lexi, but…she deserves better than me. However, I’m a selfish prick when it comes to her and I want it all for as long as she’s my wife. “Yeah,” I say instead.
She’s quiet again, the silence surrounding us. “Okay,” she murmurs. It’s so low I almost miss it.
Excitement runs through me as I realize this is it. She agreed to this. “Hey, can you spin this way?” I ask her.
She moves down and then turns to face me. She’s too far away, but I needed to see her face. I grab each leg and pull her to me; her laughter echoes throughout the night sky. I don’t stop until I have her in my lap, her legs locked around my waist.
I cradle her face in my hands and bring her lips to mine. I kiss her with all the excitement coursing through my veins, with all the hope for what we could be in my heart. I kiss her, showing her what she means to me. I keep my lips soft against hers, taking my time tasting her. Her hands comb through my hair as she holds my mouth to hers.
She wants this.
I let myself get so lost in the kiss that I almost forget there’s one more thing I had on the agenda for tonight. Reaching back to the corner of the blanket, I grab the little black velvet box that I laid there. I do this without breaking our kiss.
Once I have the ring in my hand, I pull my lips from hers and take her in. Her face is flushed and her lips are swollen from our kisses. Her eyes tell me what she won’t… she wants more. I plan to give her just that. I just have something to ask her first.
My heart is about to beat out of my chest. My palms are sweaty and I want to wipe them on my thighs, but she’s on my lap and then there’s the ring I have clutched in my palm. I can feel the diamond digging against my skin.
Leaning in, I place my forehead against hers. I will my heart to slow down, as I open my mouth to speak, but the words won’t come. I’m so overwhelmed in this moment that I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it. I know what she’s going to say, but in my heart, this is real. I want her for a lifetime, longer if possible.
“Evan?” I can hear the concern in her whispered plea.
Lifting my head, her worried eyes watch my every move. I grab her hand, careful to not drop the ring, and bring it to my lips. “I wouldn’t change anything about this, McKinley. I have only one regret when it comes to saying our vows.”
Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t comment.
“McKinley Rae Mills, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?” I slide the ring onto her left hand. My eyes don’t leave hers, and when I see tears begin to fall, I start to worry this was the wrong thing to do. That this was too much for our situation. It’s not until I see her blinding smile and she wraps her arms around my neck, sobbing as she buries her face there, that I realize they are happy tears.
I hold her as she cries and fear sets in. What if I read her wrong and this isn’t what she wants?
“McKinley, baby, I need to see your eyes.” She sniffs and lifts her head.
I cradle her face in the palms, wiping her tears with my thumbs. “Will you marry me?” I ask softly.
Again, the smile—my smile—lights up her face. “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” she says through tears. Then her lips land on mine.
Our kiss is passionate and filled with all the things we’ve said and all the things we haven’t. I roll us over and lay her down on the blanket, never breaking our kiss. I reach back for the blanket and pull it up over us. I don’t take it past kissing and neither does she. The moment worked out better than I planned, and I give myself an internal fist bump that this beautiful, loving creature is going to be my wife.
Chapter 40
McKinley
Everyone is asleep by the time we get home. Carol left us a note
on the counter saying she has Lexi with her in her room and she moved the pack-n-play.
“I miss her,” I say as we’re climbing in bed.
“Me too. It’s weird to not tuck her in and kiss her goodnight.”
“Yeah, she kind of swoops in and steals your heart when you’re not looking.”
“She does,” he agrees. He pulls the covers over us as we lie in bed face to face. I lift my hand to move his hair out of his eyes and my ring shines in the moonlight.
“We’re getting married,” I say in whispered excitement. I can’t hold it back. I’m going into this eyes wide open, but I’m going to relish the fact this man is going to be my husband and cherish each moment until it ends.
“We’re getting married,” he repeats before his lips capture mine. He starts slow, but I need more. I open for him and he takes the invitation and slides his tongue against mine. We duel and I drink in the taste of him, all the while my hands are roaming over every inch of him I can touch.
I want tonight to be different. Up to this point, it’s him giving me pleasure. He never lets me reciprocate. Tonight, that changes. I block out the fact that we’re in his parents house. All I see is Evan, and all I can think about is having him unravel from my hands and mouth.
Gently, I push him back on the bed, rising up over him. I take control of this kiss, nipping at his lips. He literally takes my breath away and I need to break the kiss just to catch it. My hands roam over the peaks and valleys of his abs while I place open-mouthed kisses all the way to his collarbone.
“McKinley.” My name falls from his lips. The gruff sound of his voice makes me want this even more.
I kiss his chest and travel further until I reach his abs. Let me tell you something about Evan. He’s a fucking work of art. His body looks as though it was sculpted. His six-pack abs quiver under the touch of my tongue. This man is as hard as steel and falling apart all because of me. It’s a heady feeling.
Feeling brave, I slide my hand over his erection straining against his boxer briefs. “Baby.” He runs his fingers through my hair. I love it when he calls me baby.
I continue my journey over the mountains he calls abs and my mouth gets closer to where I really want to be as my hand continues to trace his erection. My mouth reaches the waistband of his underwear and a jolt of excitement courses through my veins. I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve thought about doing this to him thousands of times. Right or wrong, it is what it is.
Climbing to my knees, I slip my fingers under the waistband and lift it over his erection. He raises his hips, giving me the opportunity to slide them down his legs. I waste no time in taking him in my hand and roaming the length of him.
A gentle tug on my hair has me lifting my head. “Baby, you don’t have to do this.” His voice is husky and his eyes tell me another story altogether. I stroke him faster, which causes him to clench his jaw. Without releasing him, I move so I’m between his legs and sit back on my knees, still stroking him, increasing my pace.
I don’t speak, but lick my lips instead. “Fuck me,” he groans as I dip my head and taste him for the first time, one singular stroke of my tongue on the head of his cock.
I run my tongue up the length of him, stopping at the tip and taking him in. His hands find my hair and he holds on tight. Desire like I’ve never known fuels me to move faster, to take more of him. My hands and mouth work him in tandem. I can’t get enough.
Evan keeps his hand in my hair, but never once uses it to guide me. He lets me go at my own pace. I take as much of him as I can, causing us both to moan. “Baby, I’m close.” I don’t stop. I want to push him over the edge. “McKinley, I…can’t…oh God, that feels amazing,” he pants. I quicken my pace, and he pulls on my hair. “Baby, I can’t hold off.” I take him deeper. I can tell the minute he decides it’s okay to let go. Not twenty seconds later, I’m swallowing everything he gives me.
“Come here.” He grabs my hand and pulls me up to him. His mouth fuses with mine, his tongue demanding entrance. I’ve never had a guy kiss me after. He kisses me until we’re both gasping for air. His forehead rests against mine, chests heaving.
“I have no words for what that was, how that felt. You…wreck me.” He pulls away and adjusts us so my back is to his front. He wraps his arms around me and holds on tight. “Two days, Kinley. In two days, you’re going to be my wife.”
I can’t speak without him knowing how his words affect me. Instead, I lace my fingers through his and relax into his hold.
In two days, I will be McKinley Chamberlin.
Chapter 41
Evan
Waking up alone after having her in my arms for the past week is not something I’m fond of. Yesterday, her family and my dad’s parents flew in. The house was full and Lexi stole the show. I love my little girl, but I couldn’t take my eyes off McKinley. She likes to talk with her hands and every time the diamond—my diamond—would sparkle. The women gushed over it; Aaron just gave me a nod, the men not saying much at all. This situation is unique. They don’t know when I bought the ring, I was thinking of her being mine forever. They didn’t see how it took me hours to fall asleep last night because she wasn’t there. They don’t understand that I fall harder every damn day. And they don’t get that the day she finally walks away, when this…ends, my heart will be shattered.
With the new members added to the fold yesterday, sleeping arrangements changed. My dad’s parents are staying here. The steps were hard for them, but they wanted to be close to Dad. There’s a spare room, so it worked out. Jerry, Sarah, and Aaron are staying at a local hotel. Sarah had the bright idea McKinley should stay with them since Dad’s parents were taking the spare room. She went on to say it’s bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other on the wedding day. I pulled McKinley aside and begged her not to go. Yes, I begged her. I would have given anything for her to stay with me last night. She kissed me like it might be the last time and left with her parents and brother.
I’m man enough to admit I missed the hell out of her. I told her I would. She chuckled and said, “You’ll be fine.” I am, but I’m not happy. I’m addicted to her, which might make me a whipped pussy, but I couldn’t give a fuck less. If that’s how it has to be, how I’m going to be with her in my life, I’ll take. I’ll take every fucking second of it as long as she’s with us.
Lexi is talking her cute-as-hell baby babble, letting me know it’s time to get my tired ass out of bed. Throwing the covers back, I make my way to the pack-n-play. “Morning, baby girl.” I reach for her and her little arms and legs go crazy. I kiss her cheek and she babbles some more. “I think we need to call Kinley, let her say good morning. What do you think?” She grins and shrieks. Sometimes, I swear she understands what we’re saying to her.
After a quick diaper change, I lay her on the center of the bed, grab my phone, and hit Kinley’s contact. It rings once before she picks up.
“Evan,” she says in greeting.
“Morning, beautiful. I have someone who wants to talk to you.” I don’t wait to hear what she says. Instead, I place the phone next to Lexi’s ear. At first, she goes still, until she hears Kinley’s voice. Her eyes look around, searching for her. Whatever Kinley’s saying excited her because those hands and legs start to go crazy again. I know it’s not what she says, but the sound of her voice. Lexi loves her; it’s easy to see that.
Pulling the phone back to my ear, I say, “She misses you.”
“I miss her too, both of you,” she adds softly.
“Last night was a terrible idea,” I grumble.
She laughs. “I know, but how could I tell my mother no. She’s set on this ‘no seeing each other before the wedding’ business. I don’t know if I’ll ever get married again, so I thought I would at least give her this.”
Get married again.
At those words, I want to yell into the phone that she will never be married to anyone but me. I want to demand she never think those thoughts again, but I don’t. Instead, I g
o with the only other form of honesty I’ll let myself give her.
“I miss you, babe.”
Lexi starts to fuss. I want to say it’s because she’s hungry, but my little girl, she’s a smart one. She knows I’m talking to Kinley and she wants to as well.
“She hungry?” Kinley asks.
“Probably, but I think she’s mad I’m talking to you. Let me put you on speaker and see what happens.” I switch to speakerphone and stretch out on the bed beside Lexi. I place the phone on the pillow between us.
“You’re on speaker, babe,” I tell Kinley.
“Lex, are you being a good girl for Daddy?” At the sound of her voice, Lexi stops fussing. She holds still, waiting.
“She’s stone still, Kinley. She misses you,” I confirm.
“I miss you too, sweet girl. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Her voice sounds sad. “Evan, do you think…” Her voice trails off.
“McKinley?”
“Never mind,” she says.
“Not never mind, what were you going to say?” Was she going to ask if I thought we were doing the right thing? Is she getting cold feet?
“I was wondering if, I don’t know, maybe I can have Aaron or Mom come get Lex and spend some time with her this morning. I can get her dressed here and bring her with me.” I can hear the hope in her voice. I can also hear she’s hesitant to ask. Does she think I would be mad? She loves my daughter, and she’s the only mother figure in her life. I’m honored she loves Lex enough to want her with her.
“Baby, you’re going to be my wife in a few short hours. Lexi, you, and me, we’re going to be a family. This is real, baby. We talked about this. You never have to ask to spend time with her, even when…you never have to ask, McKinley.”
“I miss you both so much, and being close to her will make me feel close to you,” she murmurs.
If I didn’t already know I was falling in love with her, that right there sealed the deal. She’s not using Lexi as an excuse to get close to me. She wants to feel close to me, to both of us.
