by Kaylee Ryan
“What the fuck, man?” I hear Kacen’s voice. I don’t turn around. I just keep working on my next batch.
“What?” Cole answers.
“Where in the fuck are your clothes?” Kacen says through gritted teeth.
“I—” Cole tries to speak, but Kacen cuts him off.
“You don’t need to be walking around in front of her like that. What the hell, man? You knew she was staying here. Hell, you knew she was cooking breakfast. Why the fuck didn’t you get dressed?” he seethes.
“Didn’t think about it,” Cole mumbles. I imagine he just shrugged his shoulders as well. I don’t turn around to see. I just continue to cook.
“If you’re going to stay here, you need to wear fucking clothes,” Kacen spits out.
“Dude,” Tristan says.
“What? He’s practically naked.”
Okay, I’ve heard enough. Turning to face the table, I say, “Kacen, it’s not like he has something I’ve never seen before. He’s covered. None of you should have to change your ways just because I took advantage of your generosity. Besides, I’ve seen Cole in his underwear before.”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. “What the fuck? What do you mean you’ve seen him in his underwear before?” he asks.
“Hello? I’m here five days a week all hours of the day. I’ve run into all of them at one point or another, well . . . except you.”
Kacen runs his fingers through his hair. I can see his wheels turning as he processes what I’ve just told him. Pushing back from the table, he comes to stand in front of me. He cups my cheek with his big hand. “I’m sorry. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. You shouldn’t have to see that.” I get lost in the blue of his eyes as he watches me. “Never again,” he says loud enough for them to hear. “Do you hear me? I want you all clothed in front of Logan,” he says, still looking at me.
“Kacen,” I whisper his name. “It’s fine. It doesn’t bother me.”
Leaning close, his voice feather soft, he says, “It bothers me, babe.”
Okay, then. I nod once, letting him know I’m not going to argue with him, and turn back to the stove. His hand drops from my face. I’m working on my next batch when Kacen appears beside me. He has his plate in his hand as he leans against the counter, finishing his breakfast. Biting my tongue, I make each of them another plate, then make me two pieces as well. As I sit at the island to eat, Kacen pulls the stool out beside me and sits down.
“So what’s on the agenda for today?”
This is not normal for us. Is he concerned I’m not doing my job? “I have to call Cassidy today. She left me a message last night saying she has something she wants me to run by you guys.”
“After that, maybe you can take a break? Let’s go for a swim,” he suggests.
“Kacen, you pay me to work, not swim.”
“I pay you to keep us organized, to keep us fed. You do that; hell, you excel at that. Take a few hours to relax.”
Wow. His words touch me. I try to remain professional and keep up with the demands of the job. I’m thrilled he thinks I’m excelling. It took me a while to get into the swing of it, but now I field fan mail, take care of landscapers, cleaning staff, and basically every other need he or the band may have while they are here. I’ve also been working with Cassidy and the label on scheduling some appearances for later in the year when they hope to have the album complete. It’s unreal how far in advance you have to plan for the release. I’ve learned a lot, and I love what I do. All the more reason to keep my head controlling my heart.
“Let me see what Cassidy wants and how long it takes to get through the messages today. Maybe later this afternoon.”
“Fine.” He places his hand on top of mine. His thumb gently rolls across my knuckles. “This isn’t a conventional job, Logan. As long as it’s done and you are here if I need you, that’s all that matters. If you get it done in ten hours per week, good for you. I’m still going to pay you your full salary. I see how hard you work. We’re not an easy bunch.”
“Speak for yourself,” Cole chimes in.
“That’s enough from the naked peanut gallery. Finish eating and get some damn clothes on.”
“Like I said, I’ll see how it goes.”
“Fair enough.” He gives my hand a gentle squeeze before releasing his hold on me. However, he remains on the stool beside me, making casual conversation while I finish eating. My head tells me he’s just being friendly, my heart tells me he feels the connection too. I’m in so much trouble.
Chapter 26
Kacen
I’m sitting out on the back deck thinking about breakfast. All was going fine until Cole strolled in practically naked. Fucker. I’m going to need to talk to all of them. They can’t do that shit with Logan here.
“Hey, man,” Gavin says, stepping out the patio door.
I tilt my head back, acknowledging him.
“What was that earlier?” he questions.
“What?” I’m playing dumb. I know exactly what he’s talking about. Maybe if I play it cool, I won’t have to spill my guts. Then again, it’s not like they don’t know my intentions.
“That shit with Cole.”
“Logan doesn’t need to see the fucking twig and berries flapping in the wind. You all need to keep your junk covered if you’re going to stay here.”
Gavin chuckles at my analogy. We’re both quiet for several minutes when he says, “So, she’s it, huh?”
There is no need for him to elaborate. I know exactly what he means. The four of us grew up together, and we’ve talked about what would happen to the band if any of us found “it,” the one person who is our game changer. I know for me it’s Logan. Crazy, I’ve known her, what, three months, but when you know, you know. I spend every damn day with her, and each day I fall under her spell just a little more than the last.
“Yeah.”
Gavin nods. “I can see it. She’s the total package. Does she know?”
Nope. “She suspects.” I know she sees the difference in me, the way I am around her. I just can’t fight it any longer and I won’t. I need her to realize that ex of hers didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. He lost the best thing that ever happened to him just to get his dick wet with someone else. I can guarantee that will be a mistake he regrets the rest of his life.
“I’d say, between last night and today, she has a fairly good idea.”
“It’s getting her to believe that she’s what I want, that will be the issue. That douche she was with before really fucked with her head. Broke her heart over and over again. Why she ever stuck it out with him I have no idea.”
“Yeah, she’s made a few comments about him and his ‘breaks’ that he would need. She’s a great girl. Guy screwed up.”
“Damn right he did. He showed up at her place yesterday. Begging her to take him back. I stepped in.”
Gavin grins. “Make your claim?”
“Yes and no. To him, yes. I made him believe she was mine. It kind of threw things into perspective for me. Now I just need to get her on board.”
“Well, as a third party, I watch you two. I see the way you both watch the other when you think no one is looking. Just keep up with what you’re doing. It won’t be long.”
“Doesn’t matter how long it takes, she’s it,” I say with conviction.
Reaching over, he grabs my shoulder. “Good luck, my man, you deserve it. I’m going to run home for a while. I think Tristan and Cole were thinking about the same thing. We thought maybe giving the two of you some time might help.”
“Not necessary, but then again, maybe you’re right.”
“It can’t hurt. Just spend some time with her. Let her set the pace.”
“Well, that’s fine for now, but I’m not holding back. She can wait to be in my bed again, but she will know I want her there, that I want it all.”
“Never thought you would be the first. I figured it would be Tristan.” He laughs.
“The heart wants
what the heart wants.”
“Whatever you do, write that shit down.” He taps his chest. “I feel a Soul Serenade ballad coming on.” He smirks.
I throw my head back and laugh. “I can do that, my man. It’s sure to be a hit with Logan for the muse.”
“All right, I’m out. How about I tell the guys we’ll all meet back here tomorrow night?”
“Sounds good, about seven. That gives me time with her.” We say goodbye and he’s gone. I can hear shuffling going on inside. Both Tristan and Cole text me that they’ll see me later, my boys got my back.
I make my way inside, heading toward Logan’s office, when I hear her cell ring. Thinking it might be her ex, I stop and stand just outside the door, hidden from her view.
“Hello?” She pauses. “This is Logan.” Another pause. “Yes, sir,” she says. “I’m currently working, but I could see if I could take a day or two off to come and meet with you.” Another pause. “I’m actually working as a PA for a popular rock band.”
Who in the hell is she talking to? “No, I don’t really want to tell you which band. If I were to get the position, I would want it based on me and what I can bring to your company, not because I’ve met and worked for a famous band,” she says.
What. The. Fuck.
Is she looking for another job? Have I pushed her too far? My mind is racing when I hear her say. “Okay, well, just let me know when you want to do the phone interview. On-sites will be possible, I just have to make sure my current position is covered before I fly out.” She pauses. “Yes, sir. Thank you.”
I hear her set her phone down on the desk and release a heavy sigh. I want to rush in and ask her what the hell she thinks she’s doing. I want to demand answers, but if I know Logan, she’ll balk at that, and it will only push her toward this other position. The guys are gone and it’s just us. I need to use these next twenty-four hours or so to convince her she needs to stay, with me, for me.
I count to one hundred and silently take a few steps back. With a deep breath, I walk heavy on the floor to alert her of my presence. I stop in her doorway. She looks up and her flesh is a light shade of pink. She’s embarrassed, more than likely she’s nervous that I heard her.
“Hey, did you get everything taken care of with Cassidy?”
“Yes. She wanted to know if you all would be willing to visit Children’s Hospital. There is a teenage boy battling cancer and he’s ‘your biggest fan.’ I didn’t even bother asking. I knew you all would agree. I told her to send me some dates and times next week and we would be there.”
“Definitely.”
Logan grins.
“Good, now let’s go for a swim. The guys all went home for the night. They won’t be back until tomorrow evening. Time for a little break.”
“I thought you all wrote through until you finished the album?” she questions.
“That’s our normal routine, but we’re mixing it up.”
“I’m sorry. I can leave. I knew me staying wasn’t a good idea.”
I step into the room and around her desk. Kneeling beside her chair and clasping my hand around the back of her neck, I pull her closer to me. “You staying here is the best idea I’ve ever had. We’re on our own time frame and the guys just wanted to be in their own beds for a night. Besides,”—I run my thumb over the pulse in her neck—“this gives me time with you.”
She opens her mouth to speak, and I place my finger over her lips. “I want to relax with you. Please go change into your swimsuit so we can sit by the pool.” I’ll beg her if I have to.
She looks away and stares off for a few seconds, before those big brown eyes focus back on me. “Okay.” Her words are so soft I barely hear her, but I did hear her and my heart is racing. I’m fucking ecstatic to spend the day with her.
“Perfect. I’ll meet you out by the pool.” I place a kiss to the tip of her nose and saunter out of the room.
Chapter 27
Logan
I’m nervous. In Hawaii, I wanted Kacen. He was a nice guy with a body made for my viewing pleasure, and he was supposed to be a fling. Something that I’ve never done, but let my best friend convince me I needed. After my ‘on again off again’ saga with Daniel, I just wanted to feel . . . alive. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a man want me. Daniel, he said all the right things, but there was never passion or yearning in his eyes when he looked at me. Kacen, his deep blue irises burned with hunger, and it was all for me.
It was different because I let myself indulge for once in my life. It was supposed to be ‘what happens in Hawaii stays in Hawaii’ or stays in my head, but that’s not my reality. My reality is that Kacen unlocked something inside of me that night. I’ve never felt desire like I did with him. Never felt a kiss, a simple touch on my arm that would cause a need so deep inside of me that my breath would catch in my throat. He was a dream, a fantasy that I was able to live for a very short time, a memory that I will always cherish.
My present reality is that same man is my boss. My boss who, as of the last two days, has been treating me like he did in Hawaii. He’s bringing back the fantasy, and the lines are starting to blur. My head knows that relationships are not worth the time, effort and, eventually, the pain they cause. My heart reminds me what it felt like to have him hover over me, to have him push inside of me, what it felt like to lose control. That man is sitting poolside waiting for me. That man is the one who just told me with conviction in his voice that he wanted to spend time with me. My head and my heart are in a battle, and I’m afraid to choose a team.
I finish changing into my bikini, the same one I wore in Hawaii. I grab a towel, my Kindle, and my cell phone and head out to the pool. Kacen is on a lounge chair, his aviator sunglasses shielding his eyes from the warm summer sun. I can’t tell if he’s watching me.
Sitting down in the chair beside him, I place the Kindle and phone on the table and squirt some sunblock in my hand. “Let me do that,” he says, sitting up. I guess that answers that question.
His hands on me, can I handle that? Looks like I don’t have a choice as Kacen already has the bottle in his hand and is throwing his leg behind me to straddle me in the chair. “This might be cold,” he says softly.
If it is, I couldn’t tell you. My skin is on fire everywhere he touches. I sit still, my shoulders rigid while he rubs sunblock on my back and shoulders. His hands glide smoothly, slowly across my skin. He’s driving me crazy just from the touch of his hand.
“My turn,” he whispers, his lips next to my ear. His places a quick kiss under my ear on my neck and stands up. I watch as he makes his way back to his lounger and sits with his back facing me. I stare at his broad shoulders, his tattoos covering his skin. I get to touch him. This is the perfect excuse. My mind says it’s not a good idea, but my heart is screaming, “Hell, yes!”
Grabbing the bottle of sunblock that Kacen laid in my lap, I stand and take a seat on the edge of his lounger. “Closer,” he mumbles.
I know what he wants. I stand again and straddle him from behind, which leaves him sitting between my legs just like I was his. I, however, don’t sit as close. I need to keep some distance between us. Kacen, on the other hand, is not having it. His hands grip under my thighs, and he tugs me forward. My front pressing into his back, my legs aligned with his. “Much better,” he says.
He leaves his hands on my legs, tracing patterns against my heated skin. My chest rises and falls rapidly. I know he can feel it. My hands are resting on the lounger, sunblock in one and the other in a tight fist, fighting the urge to hold on tight and never let go.
Kacen, always able to read me, pulls the sunblock from my hand and tosses it onto the concrete. He laces both of his hands with mine and pulls them to his stomach. Right against the rigid plane of his abs, which causes my head to also fall forward. I rest my cheek against his back. That’s when I notice his breathing is accelerated as well. At least I’m not the only one affected.
He doesn’t speak and neither do I. I’m afr
aid to, afraid of what I might say. I’m afraid I might beg my boss for a repeat of our Hawaiian fling, the one that we’re supposed to forget.
I can’t forget.
This doesn’t help me forget. Being pressed tight against him, his hands holding mine against his skin. Definitely not helping.
I don’t know how long we sit there , neither one of us willing to break the connection. It’s not until we hear Nancy’s voice that our spell is broken.
I break the hold I have on him and maneuver myself to stand. Instead of taking my place on the lounger, I decide I need to cool off. Without looking back, I walk to the pool and dive in. My body is submerged and the warm water does nothing to diminish the feeling of his skin against mine.
I swim a few laps while Kacen talks to Nancy. When she retreats back into the house, he meets me at the edge of the pool. Without a word, he sits on the edge and lowers his legs into the water. I keep swimming laps, trying not to let him see how our little display affected me. The next time I come up for air, Kacen is in the pool, standing on the side. I know because I swim right into him. His hands grip my waist and pull me against him. Pure instinct has me wrapping my legs around his waist.
“Kacen.” I barely recognize my own voice as I breathe his name.
“Shh, I just want you in my arms,” he says before burying his face in my neck.
I don’t resist his touch; instead, I let my body melt into his. My head is screaming this is a mistake, yet my heart is smiling. My body is at war.
Chapter 28
Kacen
Why is everything so different with her? Every touch, every look, it’s all more amplified. It’s like my body is charged with a current from hers. As we stand here in the pool, her legs wrapped around my waist and my face buried in her neck, I’m worried this is too much, too fast. I need to back up a little and show her that this is more. I want more than for her to be back in my bed. I told Gavin she was it, and I meant it.
