by KB Winters
“That wasn’t your fault, Savannah!”
“—and now I’m waiting around for a guy I barely know to decide if I’m worth contacting, and it is such bullshit,” I spit out turning my back to her. I took a deep breath to get a hold of myself. “I am not this person who just waits to see what happens. I’ve always been the one to go out and get shit done.”
Heather’s hand came down on my shoulder, and I didn’t fight it when she pulled me to turn me around. “I know that. Kelly always told me how strong you were and how you always made her want to do better and push harder.”
“Exactly.”
“But when it comes to other people, there’s only so much pushing you can do. Sometimes you just have to wait and let them come to you.”
I frowned at her words. “I thought you wanted me to call him and demand answers.”
“I want whatever you want, Savannah. What I don’t want is for you to do something rash in a fit of anger and later on come to regret it.”
I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “Who says I’d regret it? I’m not some damsel in distress, nor am I a blushing virgin intent on girding my loins. Sex is sex.”
Heather huffed out a breath. “You say that now.”
“I’ve said that always.”
Chapter Two
The thumping bass of the music made my head swim, and I tried to see through the sea of bodies in order to find the bar. I’d told Heather I wouldn’t come to the bar after she declined to join me, but that promise only lasted about an hour before I’d gotten angry enough to come out on my own. However, I was beginning to regret my decision.
“Hey baby. Why don’t we get out of here and go have some fun.”
I scrunched my nose at the foul smell of the newest stranger’s breath. “Absolutely not! Your breath smells like the sewer.”
“Fuck you too, stuck up bitch.”
I sighed out in relief as the stranger moved away. It was always so funny to me when guys said that women were emotional. I often found that when turning men down, they were the ones who tended to lash out and get pissy about rejection. One of these days, I was going to carry a camera on me and play back some of the responses I got. Finally, I managed to make it to the bar and ordered myself a shot of tequila.
“Kind of makes you lose faith in the human species, doesn’t it?”
I looked over at the sound of a male voice, rejection ready on my tongue. That rejection dried up when I noticed what the man looked like. The dim light of the club made his hair look inky black, but his blue eyes looked kind, and his smile was attractive. I gifted him with a smile and replied, “Oh I don’t know. I suppose not everyone is terrible if given the chance.” I warmed at his soft chuckle. “What about you? Have you lost faith in all of humanity?”
“Nah. I suppose there are a few people out there that aren’t too terrible. Like, perhaps maybe you?”
I smirked. “Hmm, or perhaps I’m just a great actress.” I felt a pang of guilt at the fact that I was flirting with another guy given that Cole and I hadn’t exactly closed anything out.
He turned towards me and leaned in. He smelled nice, but not as nice as Cole. My smirk slipped slightly when that thought ran through my mind. “Well, I suppose I should find out whether you are or not.”
I planted my smirk more firmly on my lips before reaching for the shot in front of me. I held the man’s eyes as I knocked the tequila back and threw a ten dollar bill on the bar. “I suppose so.” I gave him a flirty wink before motioning for him to follow me onto the dance floor. I glanced back once just to see if he was following me. I didn’t really want to dance with him, but I wanted to stop the multitude of Cole thoughts from running through my mind at least for a little while. Although I knew Heather didn’t agree, this is the only way I knew how to deal with this—at least for now. A little harmless flirting and a few drinks wouldn’t completely push away thoughts of Cole from my mind, but so far, the man seemed to be nice. I had no desire to go home with him, but at least it was something to do other than waiting at home for a phone call that may never come.
“What did you say your name was?” he asked. I looked back at him again.
“Savannah. My name is Savannah.”
“That’s a beautiful name.”
“Thanks. My parents thought so too, hence why they named me that,” I joked. I was relieved when he laughed as well. At least I knew he had a sense of humor. “What’s your name by the way, I never did ask?” I stopped in the middle of the dance floor and turned around. From here the lights were bright enough that I could tell he was very attractive.
“My name is Jerry,” he answered. He stepped close and settled his hands on my hips in a soft but sure grip.
“Well, Jerry,” I started lifting my arms to wrap around his shoulders. “Are you any good at dancing?”
He smiled and pulled me closer to him. I vaguely noted that our bodies didn’t fit as well together, and I internally kicked myself for even noticing. I had to force my focus back to him in order to hear his answer.
“I don’t have two left feet if that’s what you’re wondering.” He began to sway back and forth with the music and I followed. Around us, others were engaged in varying stages of drunken debauchery, and I felt a little sick at the thought of doing that with him. I’d never really been one for grinding up against anyone in front of a crowd of people, but as Jerry’s hips began to thrust slightly, I felt dismayed that he might not share my sentiments. “You’re very tense.”
I gave him a thin smile. “Comes with the job I do.”
“Oh?” He asked as his hand left my hip and his arm wrapped more securely around my waist. I felt a bit trapped, but tried my best to ignore it. “And what is it you do?”
“I’m a high school principal,” I answered, trying my best to follow his movements and push down the rising tide of panic I was feeling. None of this was right. My body and my heart screamed that this was all wrong.
“Oh yeah? You’re awfully young to be a principal already. Who’d you sleep with to get that job?”
His answer made me slam to a halt. “Excuse me?”
Jerry chuckled. “What? It’s just a joke. Come on baby, let’s keep dancing.”
“It’s not just a joke, and I’m not your baby,” I hissed. My arms moved from around his neck to pushing against his hard chest. “Insulting someone’s job before you even know them is hardly a way to—“
“Why the fuck are you getting so uptight? It was just a dumb fucking joke, so why don’t you calm down and let’s get back to having a good time?” Jerry’s hand tightened on my hip, and I winced at the pressure.
“How about no, and get the fuck off me,” I replied. My voice was growing louder with each word,and I looked around frantically—worried that no one seemed to be paying attention. I pushed against his chest again as I struggle to get out of his hold. “Let me go.”
“Hell no.” He jerked me closer to him, voice turned cruel with anger. “Listen you little bitch, you came on to me so don’t try to act like—hey!”
I stumbled with a yelp as Jerry’s arms were ripped away.
“I believe she told you to let her go.”
My breath caught in my throat at the sound of Cole’s voice, and I looked up with a sense of déjà vu. He was standing there holding Jerry’s arm behind his back, and I could tell he was practically vibrating with anger. I couldn’t help but stare.
“Cole? What are you doing here?”
My softly uttered question drew his eyes to me, and I wanted to physically fall back at the fury I could read plainly in his gaze. “What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here?” Jerry struggled, drawing Cole’s focus back to him. “And who the fuck is this dickwad?”
“Who the fuck are you calling a dickwad,asshole?” Jerry yelled out. He struggled to pull his arm out of Cole’s grip, but it seemed to have no effect. “Let me go.”
Cole let out a dangerous sounding chuckle. “You want me to let go? I believe
that’s what the lady had asked you before, and yet you so rudely refused.”
“Cole—“
“The bitch came onto me, and then freaked out once we started dancing. It’s not my fault she’s fucking defect—” Jerry’s voice abruptly cut off as Cole let his arm go, and his fist flew through the air and landed with a loud thud to Jerry’s face.
“Cole!” I shouted completely shocked. Not once had Cole ever done anything violent around me. Even more surprising was the sick thrill that went down my spine at the fact that Jerry went down with one punch and didn’t seem to be getting up again.
“Is it terrible that I found that extremely hot?”
Shocked, I looked over at the tall, blonde woman standing beside me to find her eyes focused on Cole. I didn’t welcome the bolt of jealousy either and without responding, I turned away pushing my way through the circle of people who had formed to see what the commotion was. I was barely out the door when I heard Cole calling my name.
“Savannah, wait.”
I didn’t slow down at all. “No!”
“What? What are you—stop!” Cole shouted as he stepped in front of me.
I stopped then and crossed my arms as I looked up at him. “What Cole? What do you want?”
My anger seemed to surprise him. “What do I want?”
“Yes,” I exclaimed. “What do you want? Why are you here?”
“Why am I—are you serious right now?”
“Yes, I’m very serious.”
He crossed his arms as well as he peered down at me. I tried to not let my unease show. “I was looking for you.”
I snorted. “You were looking for me…at a club.”
“Yes. I called your cell and you didn’t answer, so I went by your house.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you came to the club,” I said. I dropped my arms and tried to walk around him. His hands on my upper arms halted my progress again. With a faux sigh of exasperation, I looked back up at him. “What is it now?”
“I came to the club looking for you because when I got to your house there was a note on the door telling me to come here.”
My face pinched in confusion. “What? A note on my…dammit Heather.” I hissed out. Apparently, my plan of going out wasn’t as secretive as I’d thought. “Fine. You came and I’m here. Good for you, now I’d like to go home.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“The hell you are,” I snapped pushing off his hold and turning my back to him. I needed a moment to gather my thoughts and emotions. It took every bit of my strength to stay angry and not fall back into his embrace.
“You pushed me away,” I exclaimed whirling around to face him. Cole’s expression froze in surprise and though I immediately felt bad about my outburst, I continued on undeterred. “You jump up and run out like the world is ending and give me absolutely no clue as to why.”
“I sent you a message.”
I scoffed. “You sent me one measly message that contained no information for why you left. With our track record for communication, did it ever occur to you that maybe you should divulge a little more so that I don’t jump to conclusions again?”
Cole’s lips thinned into a tight frown. “Well, did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Jump to conclusions,” he said.
I paused and crossed my arms over my chest. “Of course, I did. I still barely know you, Cole. All I know is that you’re a Special Forces dude in the Marines, and you have a younger sister and a sick mother that you two take care of. ”
“Really…that’s all you know about me?” Cole asked quietly taking a step towards me. I could feel my body practically vibrating with the need to move closer to him, but I gripped my elbows tightly and fought against it. Right now wasn’t the time to fall into him—I needed answers.
“Well, Mr. Smarty Pants, what do you think you know about me?”
“I know that you hate mushrooms, and that the smell of dry-erase markers makes you want to gag.”
I snorted. “I’m sure a lot of people feel exactly the same way; those things aren’t unique to me.”
Cole took another step towards me. “I know you call your mom every day when you get home from work just to check-in with her, because you know she worries about you living alone.”
“I’m sure lots of single women do tha—“
“And I also know you’re a wonderful and loving person who still feels guilt over cheating with a man that you didn’t even know was married.”
I snapped my mouth shut and then swallowed against my rising emotions. “That’s what people call hitting below the fucking belt, Cole.”
He reached and took hold of my upper arms again and this time I didn’t fight as he pulled me closer. “I’m not trying to make you angry or win a competition. I should have given you more of an idea of what was going on with me, I know that now. But baby—“
“Don’t call me baby. If you knew me as well as you thought you did, you’d know that I hate that.”
“No,” Cole said slowly. “You hated the thought of him calling you baby, because you realized it was a way for him to not have to use your name and possibly get it wrong.”
I clenched my jaw. “Fine. You got me, happy now?”
“I’d be happy if you’d let me kiss you.”
“I—what?” Surely,I’d heard him wrong. “You’d be happy if I let you kiss me?”
“That’s what I said.”
Anger, sharp and hot rose up within me. “Have you lost your fucking mind Cole Bryant?”
His expression pinched. “No, I—“
“You have lost your fucking mind.” I pulled away. “You were gone to God only knows where and you sent me one message…one! You didn’t tell me where you were or what you were doing or when you were coming back.”
“I couldn’t, Savannah.”
“Oh, bullshit.” My shout echoed through the parking lot, and I could see a few people glancing over at us whispering, but I didn’t care. “You could have told me some semblance of truth, but you told me nothing.”
“I’m sorry.”
His hands grabbed my arms and turned me around until I was once again facing him. His expression looked earnest and sincere, and as much as I wanted to give in, I couldn’t. I had seen my students play innocent more than once in an attempt to escape trouble and I refused to be fooled. “If you are so sorry, then explain.”
“Savannah—“
“No,” I cut him off. “Give me something, otherwise this—this thing—is over between us. I can understand there may be times where you can’t divulge everything about your job, but I refuse to be completely in the dark with you.”
I could tell he was fighting with whether or not to budge on the whole thing so with a sigh, I tensed ready to remove myself from his hold.
“I was in Baltimore.”
I stopped my movements and waited for him to continue. The silence stretched between us, and I gave Cole an impatient look. “Why were you in Baltimore?”
“I was visiting a medical treatment center there to see if there were any promising leads for—“
“Are you sick?” I asked quickly feeling a bit of panic rising up within me. “Is that why you didn’t call me?”
“No! I’m completely fine.” Cole reassured. He rubbed his hands on my arms. “I also had to handle some paperwork about my enlistment, the specifics of which I definitely can’t get into.”
I didn’t like it, but I nodded in understanding. “I get that, so that’s fine. I just don’t understand why you couldn’t think to tell me. Even just telling me that little bit would have kept me from worrying.”
He let out a sigh, expression contrite and I felt some small part inside of me loosen. “I know I should have. I’m just not used to having to explain myself to anyone.”
“What about your sister and your mother?”
Cole shook his head slightly. “Military families are very close and most of the wives and mothers tend to goss
ip. Half of the time my mom knows where I’m going before I do. It’s been going on so long I guess I got used to never having to actually explain things.”
“That’s…” My voice trailed off as I thought about it. It made sense in some strange way and I suppose given that gossip in my school tended to spread like wildfire, I could understand. “Fine. I understand—but only somewhat,” I amended quickly when I saw Cole’s relieved expression. “But you have to remember that I’m not on the in. We’ve barely been dating, and I don’t know any of your friends so if you disappear, I’m going to freak out.”
He nodded. “Right. My mother said the same thing when I got back.”
I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. “She did? Your mom knows about me?”
“Of course she does.” Cole chuckled. “You’re not some dirty little secret, Savannah. I talk about you to my family.”
“Oh,” I breathed out. feeling another small part loosen inside me. I was slightly freaked out about his sister knowing about me, but I felt more reassured that I wasn’t being kept hidden. “Well, I’m still angry with you for neglecting to tell me anything more than the fact that you were alive.”
“I understand.” Cole’s hand moved up to cup my cheek as he looked deeply into my eyes. “And I truly am sorry. I can promise you that the next time I have to leave, I’ll make sure to explicitly let you know.”
“Good,” I replied moving into the warmth of his hands. I’d missed his touch so much, and I marveled again at how he could make me feel so much. “Now…do you still want to kiss me?”
He didn’t hesitate to answer. “Yes.”
I blinked slowly. “Okaaaay.”
The touch and feel of his lips on mine was like coming home. In the distance, I heard some people catcalling and whistling, but nothing else mattered in that moment other than getting more of Cole. Like a dam bursting open, I surged against him wrapping my arms around his neck and holding on as if I were afraid he would disappear again. The whimper of need I let out should have embarrassed me, but I found in that moment, wrapped within his familiar embrace, I didn’t care. Cole was here, and I needed him.
