I was leaving that sound because I was determined that I was going to find my Prince Charming so that I could have a healthy, happy relationship with a man, and eventually, some day have more children. But suddenly my whole reason for doing all of these dates seemed suspect. Was I being totally selfish? Was it wrong to want to have a relationship right now?
I wished more than anything as I grabbed my purse that I could do the casual sex thing. If I could just have the physical release and the satisfaction of being touched intimately by another person and not worry about it being anything more than that, I would be set. I’d be one happy mom and woman.
But I wouldn’t even know where to start to just have a hookup.
As it turned out Jackson Martin did, unfortunately.
After I waved goodbye to Maddox and Sully and took a car service twenty blocks to where I was meeting Jackson, I went in to a super cool, super trendy bar. The vibe and the fashion excited me, I had to admit. This was where everyone came to have an Instagram moment. The bar even had the selfie wall, where you stood in front of it and the mural art painted on the wall gave you angel wings in your picture.
I spotted Jackson in the DJ booth, so I sat down at the bar, checking out the scene. I couldn’t order alcohol, so once I asked for a water, the bartender’s smile fell off and I got the “don’t waste my time” expression. He filled a glass and slapped it in front of me, water sloshing over the rim.
My date had told me he wasn’t working, so I wasn’t sure what he was doing in the booth talking to the DJ, but it was clearly him. He was tall, thin, and had red hair, and it had been easy to find pictures on him online. It would be impossible to mistake him based on the hair alone. If this guy told me he wasn’t attracted to gingers, I was going to lose all faith in dating altogether.
Five minutes ticked by before he finally made his way to the bar. He spotted me and gave me a wave. But instead of directly coming over to me, he actually stopped at the end of the bar and chatted up two blondes in their early twenties. Really? I was starting to get annoyed.
Then he moved toward me, finally, and gave me a big smile. “Hey! Sorry about that, business, you know, you have to make sure everyone is having a good time. It’s hell to stay relevant these days.”
I did understand that. Xander worried about that very issue constantly. “Oh, I get it. There is always someone behind us ready to be the next big whatever.” I stuck my hand out. “I’m Savannah, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Jackson. Thanks for meeting up with me.”
His smile was pleasant. I liked his height. I felt no particular attraction though.
“You’re not getting a drink?” he asked, gesturing to my water.
“No, not tonight.” I didn’t want to get into the why with him. For some reason I couldn’t pinpoint, I didn’t want to talk about my son with him. “So, is this where you usually work?” I wasn’t sure what to call DJing. Where you drop records? Where you spin the hits? Everything I considered saying sounded ridiculous in my head.
I had the sudden reminder that I had never been a club kid and so now, years later, this really wasn’t my scene. It had never been my scene, so now it felt especially awkward. I was dressed completely wrong, which I had known I would be. I just hadn’t wanted to waste another sexy dress on a first date. It felt like a man had to earn the tight dress. In a way, not being on display in a short dress, so similar to all these girls around me, made me feel more confident.
This was who I was.
Jackson gave me a low smile. “Do we really need to do that whole small talk bullshit thing? Where we pretend to get to know each other?”
I blinked. Didn’t we? “I thought that was the whole point, to get to know each other.”
“I don’t need to know your middle name to peel you out of that sweater.”
Um…
“That’s your plan?” I asked. “To have sex tonight?”
He frowned. “Yeah, of course. Isn’t that your plan?”
I sipped my water and fished an ice cube out with my tongue. I crunched it hard with my teeth, disappointed. “No, it wasn’t. I thought this was a date, not a random hookup.”
To his credit, he looked surprised. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I guess that was a total miscommunication. Dakota told me you’re a new mom and that you needed to feel like a woman, get some D in the V and nothing else.” He put his hand on his chest “That I can do. I can give you as much dick as you want. I can’t date you, though. I can’t even keep a fucking succulent alive, I can’t date a woman with a baby.”
Really, Dakota? I was going to kill her. That’s how she presented this whole thing to Jackson? I actually felt bad for him now. Here he thought he was going to get laid and I had just disabused him of that notion. “Oh my God, yes, this is a huge misunderstanding and I kind of want to kick Dakota’s butt right now. I’m sorry, she should have never made it sound like that. While I appreciate your very generous offer of unlimited dick, I don’t think I’m really wired like that.”
Jackson made a face. “This is actually kind of funny, isn’t it? I can’t believe I said I can give you all the dick you want, I’m sorry. That was a douchebag thing to say.”
“Under the right circumstances, it would actually be sexy,” I assured him. “If everyone is on the same page, I say lean in to that. It’s a good dirty talk maneuver.”
He laughed. “You’re being cool about this whole thing. I hope you’re not offended that I said I can’t date a single mom.”
I waved his comment off. “Oh, please, no. I think it’s awesome that you understand that about yourself and are being honest. I totally grasp not everyone wants an insta-family. Hell, my son’s father didn’t even want him.”
“Now that’s shitty,” he said. “Once it happens, you have to be all in, whether it was planned or not.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I think so too. You’re also being very cool about this, too, by the way. I’m sorry I can’t fuck you.”
“It could be fun,” he said, tilting his head, giving me a grin that made me think he knew he had exactly zero shot of it working. “I believe in oral sex for all parties involved.”
As it should be. I thought Jackson was kind of funny. Under different circumstances, if I were different, maybe. But nope. The club was loud, and it made conversation challenging. Since we didn’t need to talk to get to know each other and I was not going to have sex with Jackson, I figured there was no point in sticking around.
“I applaud equal opportunity oral. Seriously. Every man should be you. But I still need to say no.” I stood up. “So, I’m going to just go ahead and head home now and we can laugh about this tomorrow. I don’t want to waste any more of your time.” Mostly mine. I didn’t want to waste mine. “I’m sure some woman will be more than happy to let you into her vagina. The night is still young.”
“That it is. Be safe going home.”
I gave Jackson a wave and left the club. Outside, I gave a sigh. After ordering a car, I texted Dakota.
You told Jackson I want D in the V?!?!
Well, don’t you?
Yes, but that’s not ALL I want.
So you had fun?
That actually made me laugh. Typical Dakota.
No. I’ll call you tomorrow.
Jackson hadn’t been a prick like Yates, but all of this could have been avoided by Dakota paying just a slight bit more attention. I shook my head, both frustrated and amused.
Whatever. At least I was reasonably close to my apartment.
As I got in the car that pulled up for me, I tried to imagine having D in my V.
I sighed again.
Sex felt like ancient history.
My body was dusty and mummified. Just a milk production plant, otherwise neglected.
Now I had to go home and share space with a muscular man who hated shirts and not touch him.
So not fair.
I was watching a comedy stand up show on my phone, lying on the couch, when I hea
rd the door open. What the hell? It was yet another speed date. Savannah hadn’t been gone more than forty-five minutes.
Sitting up, I said, “Hey, you okay?”
She had eased the door shut, leaned against it, then barely gave me a wave before going straight to the kitchen. She didn’t answer my question, so I stood up and followed her. Sully had gone down before she’d left so I didn’t want to be shouting across the apartment for fear he’d wake up.
Her head was in the freezer. She pulled it back out, a pint of ice cream in her hand. She looked frustrated. Yanking the lid off, she slid her tongue across the cold surface of the ice cream.
Seeing her immediate satisfaction at the taste, her pink tongue inspiring dirty thoughts, I felt my cock harden. I was a total asshole, but man, I had to admit I was happy that her date must have been a bust.
“Do you want a spoon?” I asked, opening the drawer and retrieving one. I handed it to her.
“Thank you.” She jammed it into the ice cream and scooped up a massive amount of the ice cream. “This guy thought this was a casual hookup. He wanted to skip conversation and get straight to sex. He told me he could give me as much dick as I want, but nothing else.”
“What the fuck?” And yet another motherfucker I wanted to punch. I also was relieved she hadn’t taken him up on his offer. To think that right now she could be underneath another guy was not cool.
“To be fair,” she said, mouth full of ice cream. “Dakota basically told him I’m horny and need to get some, so I don’t think he was working off the right parameters.”
“You’re not horny?” I asked.
“Of course I’m horny!” she said, stabbing the container again with the spoon. “Are you insane? It’s been over a year since I had sex.”
I held my hands up. “Sorry. I was just clarifying the situation. So, just confirming, you are absolutely, definitely in need and want of sex?” I had just seen a door open and I was walking right fucking through it. I wanted her. She wanted sex. I didn’t want her getting it from another guy. No more laying the groundwork. It was go time.
“Yes! I want sex. Who doesn’t?” Her cheeks were flushed now, though I wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment or anger. She pointed the spoon at me. “You don’t help, you know, walking around without a shirt, or worse, nothing, all the time.”
Now that was what I was talking about. I pushed her, just a little further. “Then why didn’t you want to hook up with this guy?”
Savannah looked at me like I was a disgusting and idiotic creature. “I don’t want to have sex with a stranger. I want to have sex with someone I know. That’s the problem. I want safety and sexiness and laughter. I want toe-curling, tension-relieving, now-I-can-face-the-day sex.”
Best words I’d ever heard. I reached out and took the spoon from her. I put it in my mouth and stole her bite. Then I tossed the spoon into the sink. I leaned in, crowding her. The only thing separating us was the pint she was now clinging to like it was a shield. Dropping my gaze to her lips, I put my hand on her hip, stroking lightly.
“I can give you that,” I said. “I can relieve your tension. Help you face the day. And I can most definitely get your toes to curl.”
Her mouth fell open and she quickly dropped her gaze, sneaking a peek at me under her lashes. Then she lowered her head and stuck her tongue in the ice cream again. That almost made me groan out loud. There was no way she didn’t know damn sexy she was.
She raised her chin, the ice cream on her tongue. By the time she was pulling it back into her mouth, I was already bending to take her lips in a cold, and yet, hotter-than-fuck, kiss.
Chapter 7
I could have said no. I could have pulled away.
Maddox gave me plenty of time to do either of those.
But I didn’t.
Not even close. I leaned in, ice cream still on my tongue, staring into his beautiful dark eyes. He smelled like he’d just showered, and as usual, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I wanted to touch his muscles, feel his warm skin against mine. I wanted to explore every inch of that very, very masculine body of his.
I’d been resisting temptation for weeks and now, I just couldn’t manage one more weak-ass protest.
When he took my lips in a kiss, I closed my eyes and gave myself over to it. His mouth was firm, demanding, talented. I sighed, clutching the pint of ice cream with numb fingers. Maddox kissed like he’d been waiting for this moment—with focus and tenderness, with a teasing tongue and relentless touch.
His hands cupped my cheeks and I opened my eyes to see him pulling back slightly, to study me, fingertips brushing against my skin. “You’re so beautiful,” he said.
A shiver rolled through me. What the hell was I doing? “My hands are freezing,” I murmured, in an attempt to disrupt the moment, recover myself.
Maddox took the pint out of my hands. He set it on the counter and rubbed my hands together gently. Oh, God. The way he was looking at me. I couldn’t resist him. I had nothing in me to resist his intensity. He was taking me in like he wanted nothing more than me. He dipped his finger into the ice cream and painted my bottom lip with the sweetness.
Then he ate it off. First, he drew his tongue across my lip with an agonizing slowness that had my nipples tightening and my inner thighs warming.
I moaned softly as I grabbed on to his biceps for support. Those muscles. It was the first time I’d actually touched them, and they were everything I’d imagined and then some.
He dropped a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth, then moved his lips back and forth over mine, before sucking my bottom lip between his. Then he teased his tongue into my mouth and the sweetness of the ice cream combined with the heat of the kiss, of our arousal, and made for a delicious embrace.
I was leaning into him, without even realizing it, my body aching with want. I ran my hands eagerly down and up the length of his muscular arms. Maddox’s hands dropped, found my ass, and pressed me harder against him. I felt the unmistakable ridge of his hard cock against my thigh. It should have been a wake-up call.
It had the opposite effect. I groaned. I wanted that. All of that. Inside me.
Somehow, and I honestly couldn’t have explained how he managed to do it, my jeans were unbuttoned and Maddox had slipped his hand inside to cup me. I looked down in awe at the heavily tattooed hand and wrist descending into my pants, a finger stroking over my clit. Yet again I thought to wonder what the hell we were doing when he took my breath away easing into my panties and right into my wet, eager pussy.
He kissed the inside of my neck as he stroked me, his lips a hot path down my flesh, to the swell of my breast. He yanked the neckline of my sweater lower and kissed and stroked, stroked and kissed, until I realized that I was way too close to the edge. It had been too long. I was going to push him away, but then he found the most perfect angle inside me and I came without warning.
I was too stunned to make a sound. I just held on to him and panted as the quick release made me tremble.
Maddox eased his hand back and gave me a wicked smile. “That was part one.”
“How many parts are there?” I breathed, stunned by what had just happened.
He didn’t get a chance to answer. Sully let out a sudden and sharp cry that had me jumping with guilt and surprise.
“Oh, shit,” I said, licking my bottom lip. “Was I loud? Did I wake him up?”
“You barely made a sound.” Maddox gave me a soft kiss that was as confusing as it was arousing. “I’ll get him.”
Thank God. I wasn’t sure I could look my baby in the eye right then since I’d just let his nanny in my pants.
After quickly zipping those pants, I slapped the lid back on the ice cream and shoved it in the freezer.
Maddox returned with a red-faced and sleepy Sully. “I’m not sure what’s wrong with him,” he said. “It was so sudden it might be teething. He was out like a light all night.”
My brother’s best friend turned nanny turned man who gave me an o
rgasm after thirty seconds looked casual AF. I was flustered and embarrassed. Now what? Maddox did not look concerned about the interruption or what had just happened, even though I could see in his loose pajama pants he still had a very hard cock. Just the sight of it made my mouth water. He saw me check him out. His eyebrows rose in acknowledgement that he’d seen me looking south.
“Another time,” he said. “You’ll get to have it, don’t worry.”
“Maddox!” I was actually shocked. He made me feel very much like a Victorian virgin. Well, except when he had me breaking on his finger. I just found it ironic that he could make me so flustered and off-kilter. Who the hell would have ever seen that coming? Not twenty-year-old me, that was for damn sure.
My nanny turned torturer let out a crack of laughter at my admonishment.
I ran my hand over Sully’s head and wiped his fat tears off his cheeks. “Shh, it’s okay, buddy. You’re okay.” I looked at Maddox over his head. “Maybe it’s a good thing he woke up. What the hell just happened between us?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?”
“No! It’s a serious question. We can’t just be randomly making out and… doing things.” Sully reached for me and I took him, bouncing him up and down automatically.
“We can’t?” He just looked amused. “It seems like we just did.”
“Stop being so casual.” My cheeks felt hot and I wasn’t even sure why. “We’re supposed to be friends.”
“We are friends, Savannah.” Maddox brushed my hair back off my cheek, making me shiver. “But we’re also hot for each other. Just admit it. The sky isn’t going to fall if you do. They even have a phrase for it—friends with benefits.”
I chewed my bottom lip, frustrated. “This is a bad idea.”
“What is? Giving each other pleasure? That seems like a fantastic idea to me.” He gave me a slow, crooked grin. “And you didn’t deny you’re hot for me.”
I didn’t. I couldn’t. “You’ve been walking around shirtless on purpose, haven’t you?”
“I don’t like shirts,” he said. “It’s not my fault you enjoy the view.”
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