“Maybe the wedding will be more traditional.”
“After seeing this, who knows?” I said.
We all clapped and cheered as Grant and Leah were introduced as the future Mr. and Mrs.
“I’m so happy for them,” I said. “They’re so adorable.”
It made me happy sigh to see them smiling at each other.
Long live love.
The night was a blast. I watched Savannah dancing with her friends and grinned. She was right. She wasn’t a very coordinated dancer. She always seemed one split second off the beat. Or maybe it was that next to Dakota no one was going to look like a star. Dakota had every guy in the room vying for her attention on the dance floor.
Every guy except for me.
I only had eyes for Savannah.
As I stood on the edge of the dance floor sipping a bourbon, I watched her laughing, head tipping back. She was definitely the woman who did not need alcohol to have a great time. She was in awe of everything, enthusiastic, and quick to relish other people’s happiness.
I was totally fucking in love with her.
I mean, we knew that, right? I just hadn’t been able to acknowledge the full truth of it.
One hundred percent, all in, give-me-forever in love with her. That’s what I was.
Now I just had to convince her she was in love with me too.
Because I had a sneaking suspicion she was. It was there, in her eyes, when she smiled at me.
During sex, when she broke beneath me, my name on her lips.
When she handed me her son with complete trust.
We hadn’t encountered Yates Caldwell, her date from hell, and I was glad. I didn’t want to see him and get pissed that he had called her a bitch in a text. He needed his watch to tell him if she got him hot? Fuck off, dude. Such bullshit.
I knew Jana wanted me to punch him in the face, and trust me, I really wanted to, but that was bad form for an engagement party, even one that looked like the inside of a Beatles song circa 1973. The guy was the future groom’s cousin. It wouldn’t be cool to knock his teeth out, though I had every confidence that I could.
All of a sudden, Savannah stopped dancing and pressed her arms to her chest. She quickly departed the dance floor. When she spotted me she rushed straight over.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. She didn’t look like she’d turned an ankle or anything.
“My milk,” she hissed. “It’s all over my dress.”
I looked down at her chest. Sure enough, there were two large wet spots on the front of her dress. It wasn’t super obvious given that her dress was navy blue, but I could understand why she’d be upset. “Here.” I peeled off my jacket and flung it around her shoulders.
She relaxed a little, dropping her arms so she could tug the jacket closed over her chest. “I hope no one saw anything.”
“I’m sure they didn’t. Come on, let’s go outside for a minute. The breeze will help your dress dry.” I took her hand and drew her towards the balcony. It wrapped around three sides of the building with a very cool view of the river and the skyline. The area closed to the doors had several people out there, some smoking, some just talking away from the loud music.
It was cold, but not unbearable.
“You’re going to freeze without your jacket,” Savannah protested as I pulled her around the side of the building.
“I told you, the cold doesn’t really bother me. We’ll just stay out here for a few minutes.” We could hear the music spilling out the open doors. “I’ll show you my moves like I promised.” I gave her some more hip thrusts to the beat.
She laughed, putting her arms through the sleeves of my suit jacket. “You’re very proud of those moves.”
“Did I tell you I know how to ballroom dance? I know the waltz in particular.” I did a few steps like I had a partner.
“What? When did you learn to ballroom dance?”
“When I was ten. It was part of my mom’s plan for her wedding with Mike. She and I did a choreographed dance, then at the end Mike cut in and shook my hand. Needless to say, everyone loved it. People were crying.” I leaned against the railing to look at her. “I just thought it was cool there was a chocolate fountain. At the end of the night Mike let me stick my face in it.”
“And now you can dance?” Savannah asked, coming over and leaning on the railing next to me. She was facing the river.
“That I can.”
And as luck would have it (though Jana might call it fate), the music turned from a pounding dance song to something slow and sensual. I held my hand out. “Come here, Savannah.”
For a second, I thought she was going to refuse. But then she just took my hand and let me pull her against me.
“I don’t know how to waltz,” she said.
“Just follow me.” I took her hand, and put my hand firmly on the small of her back. Then I spun her around.
“Oh!” she said, spinning on her heels, her hair flying out around her. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Were you expecting this?” I asked, pulling her tight against my body as I just swayed gently with her.
We moved together, easily, and she smiled. “It’s really beautiful out here.”
“You’re really beautiful.” I bent down and kissed her with everything I felt inside of me. All my love and passion for her.
The wind blew around us and the lights of the city reflected off the water and it was perfect. She was perfect.
Savannah kissed me back until we heard someone say “Oh, whoops!”
She pulled back and gave me an amused look. “I think we just got caught,” she said in a stage whisper.
I glanced to my left. It was four people in their fifties or sixties passing a shared cigarette. Or possibly a blunt. “We most definitely did.”
“Can we go home?” she asked.
Home. Yeah. That would be my heart just about busting out of my chest.
“We can do whatever you want, Savannah. Anything.”
She stared up at me, her eyes bright. “Then take me home, Maddox.”
Chapter 13
When we got back to the apartment, Savannah went to check on the baby while I walked the babysitter downstairs to make sure she got in a cab safely. It all felt very much like we were a couple, living together, raising a baby.
In love.
I returned to the apartment after saying goodnight to Ida right as Savannah emerged from the bedroom wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Both were large and loose enough to fit on an NFL player. She was drowning in them and I was disappointed. I preferred the sexy dress. I’d been anticipating sliding a hand up that short skirt.
The outfit might be a setback but I wasn’t going down without a fight. She was getting her water bottle out of the refrigerator and I leaned against the counter next to her, studying her, wanting to know where her head was at. On the deck, there had been a moment where I’d thought she was right there, with me. Falling in love.
“What’s the most romantic thing I could do right now?” I asked her. “What would be the perfect rom-com ending to a great night?”
Her nose wrinkled. “What? What are you talking about?”
“How would this end in the movies?” I reached out and took her free hand and laced my fingers through hers. I kissed her knuckles one by one.
“I… I don’t know.”
“No? Not a single idea?”
Savannah set her water down and shook her head. “We order a pizza?”
I gave her a look. “Really? That’s the best you’ve got? I can see I’m going to have to take charge of this.” I turned and pried open the kitchen window. “We’re going to sit on the fire escape and look at the stars.”
Her jaw dropped. “Are you serious? Is that even safe?”
“It’s a fire escape. It’s meant to be for you to escape fire. Safely. Of course it’s safe.” I stuck my head out and assessed it. The first time I’d been in the kitchen I’d thought if I lived here in the summer I’
d be sitting out there all the time. “Are you telling me you’ve never been out here?”
“No! I’m a mother.”
“I didn’t say bring the kid out here. But before he was born or when he’s in bed you’ve never sat out here and looked around at the neighborhood? The sky?”
“No. It never even occurred to me.”
“And you call yourself the rom-com queen.” I scoffed. “Wasted opportunity.”
She eyed the window. “What if we get locked out?”
“Take your keys if somehow mysteriously the window both closes and locks itself on the inside without human interference.”
Savannah gave me a frown.
I laughed. “What?” I stuck my head out. “This is amazing. Here, I’ll test it first.” I crawled out and jumped up and down on it a few times.
She gave a sound of distress but the platform didn’t even move. “It’s very solid,” I told her. “I promise.”
I came back in and went to the living room to grab the blanket I used to sleep. I yanked off my tie and tossed it on the couch. Then I got a beer for myself from the fridge. “Grab your keys.”
If I went out, I figured she’d follow me. I was right. She did go and get her house keys, but then she held on to the window frame and crawled through the opening. She kept holding it as she stood and got her bearings.
“This is kind of cool, I’m not going to lie.” Still clinging to the building, she slid down onto the blanket I had spread out for us to sit on. “Put these in your pocket,” she said, handing me the keys.
I did as I was told. Then we settled in next to each other, leaning against the open window frame, my arm around her. She leaned on me and pulled the blanket over both of us. “This is definitely a different perspective on the neighborhood. It’s chilly though.”
“It is November,” I said. “But five minutes. That’s all I ask. Look at the sky. Then look at me. Because I have something I need to tell you.”
Something about the tone in Maddox’s voice had me turning quickly toward him, my heart racing. “What?”
But he shook his head. “Look at the sky first, Savannah.”
I swallowed my need to ask him again and did as he asked. I was amazed at how bright it was despite it being midnight. Light pollution made the sky look like it was only a step or two past dusk tonight. The air was cool and crisp and there really weren’t any visible stars. But the sky was a beautiful canopy arching over the tops of the buildings. All of the adjacent apartments were brick with the same lattice work of fire escapes. Lights dotted the windows of various apartments and yet it was surprisingly quiet. It felt like we were alone in the density of Brooklyn.
Leaning against Maddox’s strong shoulder I felt overwhelmed by a variety of emotions. I was falling in love with Maddox and that felt both wonderful and wrong. I also felt super grateful for his friendship and companionship. “Thank you,” I murmured, not looking at him. “For everything. For being here for me.”
He squeezed me closer to his side. “You don’t need to thank me. I don’t think you understand, Savannah.”
His hand gently took my chin and he turned my head. “What I need to tell you is that I’m in love with you. Not as a little brother or a friend but as a man. The way a man loves a woman he wants to spend forever with.”
Each word he spoke sent me further into shock and awe. “Maddox…” I didn’t know what to say. My head was screaming at me to protest, to tell him that was insane, he was too young, and we’d only been in each other’s lives again for less than two months.
What I actually said was, “I love you, too.”
It flew out of my mouth without thought or warning or anything other than my heart speaking for me.
His eyes darkened and his nostrils flared.
I expected him to say something else, but he didn’t. He just bent down and took my mouth in a passionate, deep, gorgeous kiss. Our fingers were still laced together and I gave myself over to the moment, to him. There was only me, him, the crisp night air swirling around us and a connection so strong it felt like the iron of the fire escape beneath us.
His free hand started to roam over my body, under the bulkiness of the blanket and my sweats. When he made little circles over my clit, I broke off the kiss, feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I gave a little gasp of pleasure, letting my head fall back so I could fully enjoy the sensations he was creating in me.
I found his cock and massaged over the front of his pants, no particular goal in mind, just wanting to feel him.
Maddox definitely had a goal. He went deep and found the perfect angle. I came silently, eyes drifting shut briefly. When the last wave of pleasure settled, I gave a little laugh.
“Oh my God, that was so very high school of me,” I breathed. “I just let my brother’s best friend finger bang me under a blanket on a fire escape after a party.”
Maddox gave a low laugh. “Two major differences though. You would have never let me touch you in high school and if you had, I would have had no clue what to actually do.”
That was not an issue now. “Then you’ve learned a lot in a few short years.”
“I should hope so.”
“Are we crazy?” I asked, even as I was cozy and content from the orgasm he’d given me. “What are we even doing?” I wasn’t sure what it even meant to be in love, or if I was. I knew I loved Maddox, but was that the same thing?
“Don’t complicate things. Let’s just enjoy each other.” He held his hands up like they were forming a box. He raised them toward the sky. “I want to capture this moment. Remember it forever.” He turned so his hands were framing my face. “Not that I could ever forget this. You look beautiful. Your eyes are telling me you love me and I’ve never seen anything so amazing.”
I swallowed hard, overwhelmed with the enormity of what I was saying, what we were doing. “I do love you.”
He lowered his hands and gave me a slow, wicked smile. “Come inside and show me.”
That made me laugh. “Your sex drive is ridiculous.”
“You’re welcome.” He tossed the blanket off of us. “You go in first. I’ve got your back.”
He didn’t mean anything by it, I didn’t think. But I crawled up onto the window sill and looked back at him. He did. He had my back. I shivered and it wasn’t from the cold.
When we got inside, the apartment was brisk from the window being open, but I barely noticed. Maddox unbuttoned his shirt as he walked, peeling it off by the time he reached the couch. I did the same. He took his pants off and sat down, hands resting on his knees after he rolled on a condom.
“Come here,” he demanded.
I moved in front of him and he yanked my sweatpants down and lifted me with one hand onto him.
We were deep kisses and hot thrusts. Urgent grappling and hot whispers of love and desire. I rode him until I forgot myself, until I felt the prick of tears at the back of my eyes for no reason. Everything felt hushed and intimate and important.
His hands were on my waist and when I would have shifted, going on my back for him to take over, he held me in place. “No. Don’t stop.”
So I didn’t. I rolled my hips and took him deep inside me, hands on his shoulders, eyes locked together. I wanted to look away. It scared me, the intensity of what I was seeing, feeling, but I couldn’t break that gaze. I exploded on him with a cry, and dropped my head on his shoulder.
He took over the rhythm and pounded into me, while I clung to him, eyes damp, wishing I had any sense of self-preservation. Knowing I didn’t.
When he came, we sat for seconds that turned to minutes, neither speaking. Neither moving. I was amazed and blown away and terrified all at once.
Finally, he set me off of him.
“Come to bed,” I told him, pushing my hair back form my damp forehead.
“What do you mean?”
“I want you to share the bed with me tonight. I can’t have you out here on the couch while I’m in there.” It just seemed wrong. I w
anted him next to me. All hard muscles and warm skin. I wanted his reassurance that this was a good thing, and not the dumbest thing I’d ever done.
“I would like that,” he said. He gave me a small smile. “Do you want to be big spoon or little spoon?”
“Little.”
“Good. I want to hold you.”
The tears burned again and this time I couldn’t blink them away.
“Are you crying?” Maddox asked me, reaching for my hand. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly. “Talk to me.”
But I just shook my head emphatically. I didn’t even understand why I was crying. I was happy and scared all at once.
I picked the wrong men.
And they always left me.
I didn’t want him to leave me.
“I’m fine,” I managed. “Just come to bed.” I didn’t even wait for him. I left my clothes and my phone in the living room and went into my room. I took the far side so he wouldn’t have to walk around the bed and make any more noise than was necessary.
A minute later he came in but I didn’t turn to look. I was facing the window, concentrating on the thin ribbons of light from the streetlight coming through the slats. The mattress creaked when his weight eased onto it. I closed my eyes, feeling vulnerable.
To my relief, he didn’t speak. He just shifted behind me, his large hand resting on my bare hip. He kissed the back of my head.
My heart rate felt too fast. I took a few deep breaths, and by the time I had, Maddox was asleep, his breathing slow and regular.
A million thoughts were running through my head. I wanted to just enjoy Maddox and our time together. But I didn’t trust myself to know what was best for me and that scared the absolute shit out of me.
Sully started to fuss and Maddox jerked awake but just briefly.
Hoping the baby would fall back asleep I stayed still. But his cry wound up and became more urgent, so I got up and brought him to bed. I sat up and let him latch on. Despite the noise, Maddox had fallen back asleep and I stared at his dark hair, his tattooed arms.
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