by Reid, B. B.
“I don’t know if I can go back to my bunk after sleeping on a real bed again.”
She was sitting on our sectional with her feet in Rich’s lap, nibbling on the hero she’d been eating for the last hour. I don’t think she’d even made it halfway through yet, but I enjoyed watching her try. Braxton’s lips were insane. She always looked like she’d been sucking face for hours. I was jealous of the fact that Rich had gotten to feel them around his dick and didn’t know when I’d ever have that privilege. At the moment, I had more important matters regarding Braxton Fawn.
“Take the bedroom,” Rich immediately offered.
Smiling softly, she shook her head. “It wouldn’t be fair.”
Rich’s gaze shifted to me at the same time mine fell on him. “We don’t mind,” we said at the same time. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the only thought we shared.
Houston appeared after taking a phone call in his bunk, but she didn’t see him because her back was to him. He approached on silent feet with his eyes on her and purpose in each step.
I didn’t realize his intent until it was too late.
Bending over her shoulder, Houston bit off half her sandwich in one bite.
“I was eating that!” she yelled after he rounded the couch to sit next to her. She stared at him angrily the entire time he chewed.
After gulping down the last of it, he smiled at her. “Didn’t look like it.”
I snorted at the look on his face when Braxton made him wear what was left of her sandwich. Houston said nothing as he gripped his T-shirt from behind before pulling it off and using it to clean his face. I knew he wasn’t upset, but he was good with mind games. He kept his expression neutral, making Braxton watch him warily until he leaned over to tongue her down. I rolled my eyes as I watched them go at it, but I knew to keep my jealousy to myself.
Three hours later, we were at the Mohegan Sun, a resort and casino with an arena we were playing tomorrow night.
Our security was back on duty, so we didn’t bother with disguises. It didn’t take long for the paparazzi and a few wild cards to get wind of our presence either. The only part that bugged me about having so many eyes around was remembering to keep my hands to myself. Houston and Rich struggled with the same whenever they ventured too close or lingered too long.
One of us involved with our new guitarist was bad enough. All three of us publicly claiming a piece would be inviting trouble that we weren’t prepared for. Not yet. Eventually, we’d break the news to Xavier and warn our publicist.
At the moment, there wasn’t much to tell.
Houston and Rich had gotten back on her good side, but they hadn’t been allowed more than a foot each. While they treaded carefully, I was still figuring out how to get her to talk to me and what I would say once I succeeded. I told her how I felt long before either of them dared.
Yet you still fucked up.
I knew it was the reason she was so cold with me, never sparing me more than a glance while allowing my best friends to kiss and touch their fill. Claiming one thing only to do another, I’d hurt her more, so she trusted me less.
Braxton had wandered off with two of our guards trailing her, and eventually, after fifteen minutes of searching, I found her standing at one of the slot machines.
The floor was mostly empty on a Monday afternoon, so there was no one around to see when I wrapped myself around her from behind. I didn’t count our guards because, as far as their jobs were concerned, they were Three Blind Mice.
“Are you running from me?” I whispered when my hands found her hips. Braxton was almost the perfect height. She wasn’t so short that my dick was in her shoulder blades, but I wouldn’t have minded her with a few more inches either. Right now, Loren Jr. was busy giving her a tramp stamp when it was her ass that had woken him up to party. She was also stiff in my arms, and I didn’t like that. I wanted the days back when she melted against me.
Right now, she refused to even look at me.
“You found me, didn’t you?”
I chuckled to myself.
Her smartass mouth was at the top of the list of things I’d missed. I’d rather she give me her anger than nothing at all. I found myself kissing her nape since her hair was hanging over her shoulder and inhaling the brown sugar body wash that I knew she used. When she still didn’t react, I sighed and closed my eyes.
“Tell me what to do, Braxton.”
“Now, why would I do that?”
“Because you want me to fix it as bad as I do.”
Hearing someone approach, I forced myself to let her go. Luckily, the group passed without us being recognized, and the moment the coast was clear, I was back in Braxton’s space. This was the closest I’d gotten to her since we fucked in Central Park. I wasn’t about to let the possibility of being seen stop me from taking whatever scraps she threw me. I hated having to keep my feelings a secret, and it was solely for Braxton’s sake that I did. Anyone else could swallow thumbtacks.
I watched Braxton play that stupid slot machine for thirty minutes before running out of cash and winning only ten of it back.
Taking her hand, I led her away, and after losing all her cash, she didn’t object. Houston and Rich were busy putting money on the races, and I had the feeling the clingy fucks had backed off Braxton to make room for me to get my shit together.
After asking Braxton if she was hungry and getting her to agree to have dinner with me, I managed to get us a table in a private room without reservations. Arranging it was chaotic as fuck, but getting some time alone with Braxton was worth it. Once we were seated, closed off from prying eyes, and left alone with our drinks, I got up from my side of the tall booth to sit next to her.
Sticking to the pact I’d already broken once, I’d ordered lemonade instead of something hard like I needed, and she did the same. Right now, her eyes were glued to her drink as she tried to avoid mine.
“Look at me.” I couldn’t take it anymore.
After taking a deep breath, she did, and I finally learned the reason why she wouldn’t before. A drop of liquid slipped from her eye, and I knew she hated me even more for that tear.
It was the second time I’d made her cry.
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” she snapped when she read the words on my lips. Shaking her head, she angrily wiped the ugly truth away. “I’m sick of hearing it.”
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m asking for it anyway.”
“Tell me why you think you need it.”
She already knew why.
She wanted to hear me admit everything I’d done out loud. She wanted my shame and regret and my anger. She wanted me to see her pain.
“I tried to push you out of my life the moment you walked into it. I let Houston belittle you because it took the heat off me. I knew Rich was using you to pull us back together again. I made a fake account just to troll you on Instagram. I told you I had feelings for you when I knew I wasn’t ready. I acted like a spoiled prick because you were smart enough not to return them. I made you feel guilty for being attracted to my friends. I was an idiot to believe that pushing us away was what you needed. I broke into your phone and found all your nudes. And then I stole your panties and jerked off in front of you. I didn’t fight for you even though I knew you were waiting.” Inhaling and exhaling, I closed my eyes and winced. “And I treated you like a groupie instead of my future wife by fucking you on the ground without asking you to dinner first.”
Braxton was staring at me when I opened my eyes while giving away nothing of what was happening inside her head.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she prompted when I was quiet for too long. I started sweating bullets as I ran through the list in my head. When I drew a blank and just stared at her, she pursed her lips before lifting her glass. “You left the toilet seat up this morning.” Eyeing me, she took a sip of her lemonade and then set the glass down. “I fell in.”
So that’s what her squealing was all about.
“Tell me you forgive me.” It sounded like a demand, but we both knew it wasn’t. I was begging at this point, and I wasn’t the least bit ashamed.
Braxton was back to not looking at me again when she shrugged and offered me a nonchalant answer. “I’m working on it.”
My phone notifying me of a text kept me from begging her to work faster, damn it. Sighing, I checked my screen.
Houston: Where are you?
I texted back using one hand because the other was busy toying with the ends of Braxton’s hair.
Fuck off. I’m almost there.
My phone buzzed again since I’d put it on silent. This time it was a text from Rich since Houston had used our group chat.
Rich: Lol. I doubt it. Let us come help you.
Houston: Before you fuck it up for all of us.
Our gushing waitress returned to take our orders, and while Braxton told her what she wanted, I texted Houston and Rich the name of the restaurant. Maybe I could use some help since Braxton held onto her grudges so tightly, you’d need the jaws of life to pry them apart.
Feeling Braxton nudge me, I looked up from my phone to see the beaming waitress waiting for my order.
“Hey, sweetheart. I’ll take three Porterhouses and a side of fries. I want two of those steaks cooked medium and one medium-rare. I’ll also take some of those mini crab cakes you charge a left nut a piece for, the creamed spinach, and some bread for the table. Oh, and a coke and water.” I winked at our waitress as Braxton gaped at me.
“Are you really going to eat all of that?” she asked me.
“Not for me.”
Just as the waitress pranced off with our orders, Houston and Jericho entered the room, which saved me from having to explain further. She didn’t say anything when they slid into the booth across from us.
“I hope your luck was better than mine,” I said to kill the awkward silence. Braxton cut her gaze at me, so I guess I wasn’t as cryptic as I thought.
“I lost ten grand,” Houston announced as I put my hand on Braxton’s thigh. She’d worn a skirt today.
“How? It was a cheap bet.”
“He wasn’t betting on the horses,” Rich answered with a smirk.
My hand paused from inching up Braxton’s leg when I caught his drift. Each time I forgot why I hated my friends, they reminded me. “Night’s not over.”
“You know I can leave, and then you three won’t need to talk about me like I’m not here…because I won’t be.” She pushed my hand off her leg, and it felt like I’d taken three steps back from the half a step I’d gained.
So much for help.
Our food came, so I shut the fuck up and ate as I thought of my next move. I’d been honest. I’d been sincere. I didn’t know what else I could do to get through to her.
“What does your medallion mean?” she asked me out of the blue halfway through our meal. Houston and Rich both paused mid-chew as their gazes darted between Braxton and me.
Swallowing my food, I sat back as I looked at her. My appetite was gone. “What makes you think it means something?”
“You never take it off.”
I could tell by her tone that she wouldn’t just shrug it off if I chose not to give her the full and honest truth. Fuck. “Instead of a car for my sixteenth birthday, my father gave me this.”
Lifting the heavy chain off my neck, I slipped it up and over my head for the first time in six years. Before Braxton could react, I placed the medallion depicting a man with the head of a lion forging a sword around her neck. The rest of the crest included the family name and “solum initium est” engraved in the platinum. I don’t remember the exact value, but it was somewhere around a hundred and fifty thousand.
“Just before he kicked me out and left me with nothing, he told me to pawn it because it was the last cent I’d ever get out of him.”
“But you didn’t.”
It wasn’t a question since she wore it around her lovely neck, but I answered her anyway. “Nope.”
“And that’s why you’ve never taken it off and always wore your shirt open,” she pieced together out loud. I could see the wheels in her mind turning as she looked at me. “You knew he’d be keeping tabs and wanted him to know that you didn’t need his money.”
“Yup.”
I let myself be an open book as she studied me, but I didn’t mention my father’s offer to give me everything I once thought I wanted if I quit Bound and came home.
Nodding once, Braxton signaled that her curiosity was settled, and I released a quiet breath for small favors. My old man was the last thing I wanted to discuss while trying to win over my girl. I never thought I’d be capable of wanting more after watching my parents crap all over their marriage. I couldn’t risk anything giving me second thoughts. Spending another moment without Braxton was crippling enough. No way was I willing to go the rest of my life.
We headed back to the bus after eating, but by then, the night was no longer young. I still had no idea where I stood with her.
Instead of asking, I watched her disappear inside the bedroom that was now hers after we assured her it was fine. It’s not like we were planning to bring groupies on board.
“So what happened?” Rich asked the moment we heard the shower turn on.
I shrugged as I flopped onto the couch. “We talked, I told her everything I’d done wrong, and that was it.”
“She didn’t say anything else?” Houston questioned with a frown.
“Nope.”
“Did you apologize?” Rich asked me like he really believed it wouldn’t have occurred to me on my own to do so.
“In a way.”
“In a way?” they both echoed like some jackasses.
“She wouldn’t let me, and…I don’t blame her.” I had no idea why I was coming to her defense like she could hear me and would forgive me on the spot. If only. “Look, there’s no rush,” I lied as I put my feet up on the table. “The tour doesn’t end for another nine months. One way or another, she’s all ours whether she wants to be or not.”
“Do me a favor and don’t say that to her,” Rich advised.
I waved him off. “I’m done listening to you. All you’ve done is dig us into deeper shit.”
“He’s also the only one of us who’s ever gotten a woman to marry him,” Houston pointed out.
Barking a bitter laugh, I leaned my head back against the sectional and closed my eyes. “He was the only one dumb enough to ask.”
I knew the three of them were waiting for some kind of sign or answer from me. My heart knew what it wanted, but my head still wouldn’t agree. I knew the only solution to my dilemma was to sit them all down at once. I just didn’t know what I’d say or what I’d do once I did.
Would I say yes and take a chance, or would I turn them away out of pride? I wasn’t all that convinced they’d suffered enough.
I certainly had.
Sighing, I finished pulling my wet hair up. I didn’t realize until I looked in the mirror that I was still wearing Loren’s medallion. I wasn’t sure if he meant for me to keep it, but I liked wearing something that belonged to him, even if it was temporary.
Smiling, I left the bathroom only to find the bedroom occupied. The room seemed ten times smaller with three rock gods invading it.
Houston sat at the edge closest to me, Loren at the foot of the bed, and Jericho taking up the opposite edge. I stupidly thought I had until morning before I was forced to face them again. I could see the restraint dwindling in their eyes and knew my time was up.
“Come sit down,” Houston told me.
I garnered by his tone that it wasn’t up for debate. “What are you guys doing in here?”
“Waiting for you, obv
iously,” Loren answered. The glare he bestowed on me was full of accusations.
“Sit down, Braxton,” Houston ordered once again.
Huffing, I stormed over to the bed. I felt their eyes on me as I climbed the mattress, braced my back against the headboard, and held my legs up to my chest with my arms wrapped around them. It was all the distance I could put between them and me. All the protection I could hope for.
Jericho chuckled as he read my mind, and a teasing light entered his eyes. “That won’t help you, baby.”
My lips parted slightly as I felt my legs tremble. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to fight these feelings they evoked. They obviously knew how to wield them against me.
“Now that we’ve had your undivided attention,” Loren stated, “you have ours.”
“Tell us what you’re thinking.” The request had come from Houston.
“I don’t know. I’m not done yet,” I snapped.
“Maybe that’s the problem,” Loren said to his friends instead of me. They were talking around me again. “She’s overthinking.”
“It must be all the space we’ve been giving her.”
Jericho.
I never thought he’d be the one to betray me.
All at once, they closed in around me. The room began to smell like I was on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and there was no one else around. Only the four of us.
We were lost and drifting, resigned to our fate with only each other, and the last of our hope left to sustain us.
Houston reached me first, and I was plucked from the bed and set in his lap once he took the spot he’d forced me to vacate. Loren lay on his stomach now between Houston’s legs and propped his chin in his hand while Jericho lounged on his side, using his arm to keep him up.
“That’s better,” Loren said before kissing my naked thigh. All I’d managed to put on were panties and a muscle tank that stopped just below my belly button.
“You’re not playing fair,” I accused no one in particular. They were all at the top of my shit list.
“Fair doesn’t get us what we want,” Houston lashed harshly in my ear. I could feel the scrape of his teeth against my neck as his lips moved. “So no. We won’t be playing fair. It’s going to get real dirty from here on fucking out.”
