“The pictures Levi sent to your father—they were released to a reporter.”
The shock hit my chest like a two-by-four. I gaped at Eli, struggling to think of a response, struggling to ignore the sudden blast of mortification inside me. Levi had those images. He was angry. And now he’d shown millions of people the humiliation he’d subjected me to—and started the process all over again.
“That’s not all.”
A choked-off laugh escaped. Of course it wasn’t.
“There is speculation…uh…” Eli shifted in his seat. “There’s speculation that you were cheating on your fiancé—”
“He’s not my fucking fiancé!”
I don’t think I’d ever, in my carefully regulated, regimented life, actually screeched. But I did now.
Eli winced. “Your alleged fiancé—”
I surged off the couch, barely managing to hold myself back before I slapped Eli’s face. Oddly enough, he didn’t try to stop me, simply sat and waited while I squeezed my fists until they hurt and tried desperately to breathe away the roiling emotions inside me.
After a few minutes, I guess he thought I wasn’t going to actually explode. Still, his tone was placating, as if I was a wild animal he didn’t know what to do with. “Okay. Okay. They are saying you ran away with your lover to escape that fucker Kyle Pellen, and the photos are proof you were involved with someone else.”
Because of course the proper prick, Kyle, would never cuff me or take pictures of me naked. It had to be someone else. Right.
Now that Eli had spit out the words, an uncomfortable silence settled between us. All I could hear was the rush in my ears, the thundering of my heart, the horrible cry of denial locked deep inside where no one could hear it but me. No one needed to know any more about the humiliation of Abby Roslyn than they already did. No one needed to know that the man who had taken my body had also taken my dignity, not once, by sending those pictures to my father, but twice, by sharing them with the world. No one needed to know, and they wouldn’t. I didn’t even want to know—but I couldn’t escape my own brain, could I?
“Abby?”
I could barely hear Eli through the roar in my head.
“Abby, we will find out who did this, I promise, okay? We will—”
Did he really expect me to believe that? “You’ll what? Avenge me? Make it right? Get revenge?” I laughed, the sound bitter enough to make me wince. “How are you going to do that? You can’t put the genie back in the bottle. Those files are out now, and there’s no way to erase them.”
“No, but—”
I wasn’t done. “You want me to believe you will take up for me, protect my precious reputation? Your brother took those pictures. He’s the reason I’m in the news. And he’s the only one who had a reason to release those files. Are you going to kill him for me? Because somehow I don’t see that happening, Eli!”
“No, he didn’t… He wouldn’t do that, Abby.“ Eli had a hand out as if he could calm me with a mere touch, but just the thought made my skin crawl. Skin that no longer felt like my own. It had been exposed—I had been exposed—to too many prying, judging eyes. I wanted to tear my skin off with my bare hands, make myself something else, something unrecognizable, something…
I closed my eyes. There wasn’t something else, was there? I could never not be me, no matter how much I tried. No matter how much I wished and prayed and cried, I’d always be me. And suddenly that was unbearable.
I whirled around, catching a toe on the edge of the couch, and stumbled away from that hand, from the hated pity in Eli’s eyes. In Leah and Remi’s eyes as they stared at me from the doorway of the sickroom. Everything inside me screamed to escape, and I let the urge take me, move me, shove me toward the outer door in a last-ditch effort to free myself.
And I almost made it. I’d almost reached the freedom lying behind those thick inches of steel when the door opened from the outside and Levi walked in.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“What—”
That was all he got out before my palm connected with his cheek. Levi caught my hands in a tight grip, flexing his jaw as if to work out the pain. Eyes I’d often thought were cold blazed down at me, delving deep, searching for things I didn’t want him to see.
I dropped my chin, hiding—my tears, my anger, the damn need that surged even now. When I jerked my arms, Levi’s grip got tighter. “Eli, what happened?”
“You’d know if you’d been here, brother.”
“What. Happened?”
I was thankful for the veil of hair curtaining my expression as Eli explained. It gave me time—to hide away my heart, bury my feelings. Wrap myself in a numb blanket of denial, where none of this was happening to me and all I needed to do was wait out the nightmare so I could return to the real world beyond. I wasn’t numb enough not to flinch when a string of curses left Levi’s lips over my head, though.
“Were you able to hack the reporter, find the source?”
“Not yet. It just hit the radar,” Eli said with a wave toward the computers. “We—”
“Do it.”
Was Levi really trying to get me to believe he hadn’t done this? I wasn’t that naive, not anymore.
“Abby…”
I shook with emotions I couldn’t control, but kept my feet right where they were. I refused to fight him for the freedom that was rightfully mine. “Let me go.”
“Just let me—”
“No.” My chest heaved under the strain. “No!”
I don’t really know what happened next. One minute I was captured in Levi’s simple grip, and the next I was a wild thing, bucking and hitting and kicking. I don’t even know if I truly had a target. All I wanted was escape, desperately. To get around him, get through the door. To be anywhere but here, anyone but me. Sounds flooded the room—a female voice that wasn’t my own, harsh words and barked orders, a gut-wrenching wail that made my heart hurt for whoever uttered it—and then I was swept into the prison of Levi’s arms.
I didn’t fight him then. I was too busy crying.
A door banging shut startled me out of the hole I’d dropped into—Levi kicking the bedroom door closed, I realized a few moments later. He carried me to the bed we’d shared for days, and sat on the edge. If I hadn’t known he hated cuddling, I would swear that was what he was doing—more likely trying to protect himself from more bruises. But I ignored the knowledge in the back of my mind and held on tight. My only security in the shattered world I now lived in.
Wasn’t that thought proof that I’d gone mad? I didn’t know anymore.
Long moments later, beneath the shudders and sobs, something else registered, something…odd. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first until…God. He was rocking. Levi sat silent, the only sound the pounding of his heart beneath my ear, but his body moved—he was rocking me. Only the slightest bit, but the motion was there all the same. Soothing me. Calming and comforting me. At first I stiffened, afraid to sink into it, afraid of the same reaction I had gotten in bed this morning, but the subtle movement continued, and eventually I melted into it, into the hard body surrounding me.
A relieved breath I hadn’t known I was holding escaped when he didn’t dump me on my ass.
Levi’s chin brushed the top of my head as he tilted down, bringing his mouth to my ear. “I didn’t do it, Abby. I would never—”
“You have before.”
He didn’t reply; how could he? I was right. But the feel of him against me, still tense, said he wanted to argue, wanted to force me to hear him, believe him.
He didn’t.
And God help me but I was relieved. I didn’t want this moment to end.
It had to, though. The end came with a quiet knock on the door. I buried my face harder against the thick wall of Levi’s chest and ignored the door opening, but I couldn’t ignore the voice.
“I got it,” Eli said quietly.
“Who?”
The word rumbled through my ear, more vibratio
n than sound, but Eli heard it.
“Roslyn.”
The blow was almost as hard as thinking Levi had done it. No matter how much of a jerk my only parent was, I still, deep down, wanted to believe he wouldn’t hurt me, wouldn’t humiliate me. I couldn’t resist a denial. “No.”
Eli didn’t say anything else. Neither did Levi; he simply held me tighter. That was when I knew it was true.
“Why?” I whispered against the soft cotton of Levi’s shirt.
I felt a hitch in his chest as he went to speak, then stopped himself. But I needed to know.
“Tell me, Levi.”
His sigh felt cool against my tear-wet cheeks. “My bet? It’s more alibi building. A plausible reason for your disappearance that isn’t criminal. You return home, and it’s all a spontaneous, youthful fling.”
The current beneath his words told me there was more. “And if I don’t return home?”
Levi’s pecs pushed against me as he sucked in a breath. “Then he can point the finger at a third party. The jilted fiancé.”
I fisted my hand in the material at the base of his spine, forcing back a denial at the word fiancé. Levi knew the truth about that by now; I didn’t have to point it out. And really, did it matter anymore? Did anything?
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” I whispered.
“You’re Abby. You’re strong. You’re…”
I wanted to hear that last word, hear what was in his mind, how he truly saw me. This man had been the catalyst that had thrown me out of the only life I’d known, shoved me into circumstances I could never have foreseen. He’d slept with me, fought with me, fed me…forced me. How could he see me as strong? I didn’t see me as strong. But I wanted to believe he did. I wanted it with everything inside me.
“All those people…” Even if they had blurred out the most private parts of the images, so many people had seen them, surmised what was blocked out, peeked into a part of me they now thought was the truth, whether it was or not. “I can never face them again.” Nor could I go back home. Even if my father hadn’t done the things I now knew he’d done, nothing would ever be the same. And what good was I as a hostess when all the guests had seen me naked?
Levi didn’t answer, and a part of me was grateful. There was no easy answer. My life was in pieces, and superglue wasn’t going to put them back together. I was beginning to think nothing could.
And then Levi’s hand went from my back to my thigh, scooted me that much closer to him, and desire flashed from his touch to my core. It could be the end of the world, and still, Levi’s touch would set me on fire.
Maybe there was one small part of me that didn’t need to be put back together.
I gathered my legs beneath me, shifted until I could straddle Levi’s lap. His eyes were dark, troubled, his face drawn—for me? I tried hard not to believe it; the Levi who’d held me and rocked me was an anomaly, a glitch in time, though one I didn’t want to see disappear. So I closed my eyes and put my mouth on his.
The kiss was hot, deep. It went on and on until finally I had to surface for air. Levi breathed heavily beneath me.
“Abby?”
I didn’t want to talk anymore, or think, or worry; I wanted to forget. For just a little while, I wanted it all to go away. Levi was good at that.
“Abb—”
I settled a finger against those full lips. “Levi…don’t. Just don’t.” I stroked over the supple skin, over the rasp of stubble on his chin, down to the throbbing pulse in his throat. “Don’t say anything but yes.”
Levi shifted his hips, and a solid ridge rubbed against my core. Sparks of desires shot through me. When he grasped the back of my neck and pulled me close, I let him. Warm breath bathed my mouth, and it was hunger that darkened his eyes now. Pure, hot, beautiful hunger.
I ran the tip of my tongue over his bottom lip and met his eyes. Lifted an eyebrow in inquiry.
Levi slid his hand from my nape to my breast, cupping me in his palm. “Yes, little bird.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
He couldn’t put the pieces of me back together; I’d been right about that. I couldn’t even trust that the man who’d seemed to care, to want me and want to comfort me, was the real Levi. Experience said no. What my body and mind had felt in his arms said yes. I decided it didn’t really matter in the face of everything going on.
Eli didn’t look at me when I came out of the bedroom. Remi was on the couch, half-reclining, a pillow behind his back and blanket over his legs. He reminded me so much of Levi now that he was up and awake, not just the body type and size, but the intensity in his eyes. I bypassed his knowing look and hurried to Leah, to the sickroom—to action, or at the very least, to bask in the woman’s calm demeanor. I found her cleaning up the messy room, and peace immediately settled like a blanket over my soul.
She didn’t glance up as I moved to her side. “You okay?” she asked, gripping one corner of the sheet that covered Remi’s bed.
“Sure.”
The word was anything but, something Leah ignored as she continued to strip the bed.
“Eli says they’re moving out tonight.”
I stilled. “Did he say…”
She bundled the sheets in her arms, then turned to face me. Her blue eyes delved deep, searching, uncovering things I didn’t want discovered. Too often lately I felt like an open book for anyone to read—or take advantage of. “He says now that Remi’s awake, I’ll be going home.”
“Oh.” Relief loosened my muscles even as a different kind of tension ran through me. What were they planning for me? “That’s good. You’ll be back with your daughter.” And safe.
Leah continued to stare, knowledge darkening her gaze. I reached for the sheets, intent on putting them somewhere out of the way, somewhere that would allow me a few seconds to hide.
“I know what’s happening to you,” she said softly, continuing to hold her bundle, keeping me close—in her own way, forcing me to be where I wanted to escape. “I may work long shifts, but I’ve seen the news. And I heard what Eli said earlier.”
Hadn’t everyone? Even knowing I hadn’t done anything wrong, shame heated my cheeks.
“Will they let you go too?”
I glanced up, daring to meet her eyes. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know if Levi will release you, or you don’t know if you want to be released?”
That is the question, isn’t it? One I didn’t know the answer to.
“Abby—” Leah glanced toward the doorway and lowered her voice even more. “Don’t let him fool you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Of course I did.
One side of Leah’s mouth turned up; a smirk. “Right. And you didn’t just have sex with the man who kidnapped you.”
Every drop of blood in my face disappeared. I let go of the sheets, took a step back. The door was only a few steps away; could I make it?
“I get it,” Leah said. “Believe me, I get it probably more than you will ever know.” Something haunted and hurting flitted across her expression. “They seem all-powerful, like they can protect you from the hell that is your life. Like they are gods controlling everything, right down to the weather ruining your day, and somehow, over time, you forget that they aren’t truly good. You forget that they can hurt you—and they always do. Always.”
“No, it’s not like that.” It wasn’t. Was it? I had no illusions that Levi was anything more than a convenience. When this was over, I would walk away, and these feelings would fade.
But you’ll never be the same.
Leah’s eyes shone with pity. “I wish you were right. But you’re not.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but snapped it shut when Eli appeared in the doorway.
“Time to go, Leah.”
She glanced around at the mess. “I’m not quite finished here.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said with a shrug. “In a few hours this place will be abandoned anyway.”
And where would that leave me? Was I going with them or, like Leah, going home? Was there a home to go back to?
The question rang in my head as I followed Leah into the living area. She went straight to Remi, leaning over the back of the couch to speak, her words too soft to hear, her hands busy checking her patient. The scene was somehow intimate, a moment that deserved protection from prying eyes, and I turned my head away.
My gaze collided with Levi’s.
He stood near the outer door, obviously waiting for Leah, but he wasn’t watching her; he was watching me. Every time I saw him, I had the same thought: He’s beautiful. Tall and built and sexy. He took my breath. But I always looked for one thing. His eyes. They were literally windows, if not to his soul, at least to his mood. They told me where we stood when we came face-to-face.
Right now, the cold expression was back, and I couldn’t help comparing this man with the one who’d taken me with such fire mere hours ago. His gray eyes hadn’t been cold steel then; they’d been molten silver, blazing with hunger. Which was the true Levi? Growing up with a parent with political ambitions, I was used to people wearing masks. The problem was, I couldn’t decide which Levi was the mask—the lover or the killer. Both? Neither?
I didn’t know. The only thing I knew with absolute certainty was that when I figured it out, no mask would be able to protect me from the pain.
“Let’s go,” Eli said, startling me out of the connection that bound me to my kidnapper. Only then did I notice the black material clutched in Eli’s hands. Leah noticed it too, her steps hitching as fear flashed in her eyes.
“Leah.”
The voice sounded like sandpaper and sleep. Leah turned her head to look at Remi. I did too.
“It’s for your protection. That’s all. I promised, remember? No one will hurt you. This way”—he nodded toward the cloth—“you can’t see anything pertinent, not cars or locations or anything.”
And by the time she could help the police trace their way back here, to the warehouse, it would be empty.
“It’s okay,” Remi was saying, rough voice soothing despite the gravelly tone. “I promise.”
Assassin's Mark Page 13
