There was no such thing as a perfect person. And right now she was so enraptured by this man that she had to have been blind. He told her his greatest fault was that he was too hard on himself. So how would that affect their relationship? Would he always be the whipping boy? Would he be able to bring equal power in the relationship? What if she was more controlling than he was, or he was more controlling than she was? She couldn’t be with somebody who wasn’t her equal.
He moved closer, brushing his lips against the side of her cheek. “Don’t overthink this. I know that face. I make that face. And when it comes to things like this, matters of the heart, sometimes you just have to go with your feeling. And right now all I want to do is make love to you.”
He scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the master bedroom.
Even if she had been tempted to continue questioning what was happening, she could do so no longer.
“How do you know your way around this house so well? Do you bring a lot of women to this place?” she teased, giggling.
“This house is actually mine. It’s the only secret I have. No one knows about this place. I bought it a year ago and I hide away here when I can’t be around my family for another second. A lot of times they think I’m working, but really, I’m up here watching television and vegging out. I love them, but they can be a lot.”
“Wait...” She put her hand on his chest. “You own this place? Are you messing with me? This is my dream house.”
He answered with a huge smile. “Mine, too. And you are the one and only person I have ever had here. I haven’t even let a delivery man in this place.”
She wasn’t sure how such a thing would be possible, but she believed him. “I’m honored.”
“I just hope you like my bedroom. It’s a bit of a man cave. I never intended on having a woman up here. Well, to be more accurate, I had no plans to bring anyone here, not just a woman.”
Now he was the one blushing.
She sat up slightly in his arms and kissed his lips as he carried her over the threshold of his bedroom. She closed her eyes, savoring the juxtaposition between his soft lips and his coarse beard. She’d never dated anyone with facial hair before. This was something totally new. Reaching up, she ran her fingers through it. “I love this.” She gripped his hair, giving it a gentle tug.
He grumbled.
Holding her with one arm, he reached up and pulled her hair, exposing her neck to his kiss. He starting kissing at the base of her ear and moved down her neck, making an electric charge move through her body. Her core clenched as the wetness grew.
How had she gotten so lucky?
She was in the house of her dreams with a man so hot she wasn’t certain she could have even imagined him or described him to her friends. And yet, here he held her and he was kissing her neck.
All clear thoughts left the building. The only thing she could think of was the feeling of his tongue as it flicked her earlobe and mixed with the heat of his breath in her ear. She wanted to make love to him right in this second, but at the same time she ached to hold out...to make him kiss every part of her before she let him take her.
She wanted to make him earn her and to want her so badly that the moment he slipped inside he would beg for release—and she would make him wait.
Yeah, maybe she was a bit of a control freak in and out of the bedroom, but she loved every damned second of it.
He moved to the bed and set her down. She was enveloped by the thick down comforter, complete with little red reindeer. His bed looked like something out of Santa’s mansion, complete with big, fur-covered and red-quilted pillows. She ate it up.
Laying her down, he moved to her pants and carefully undid the top button. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you to wear.” He passed her an impish grin. “I hope you are okay with that.”
She was dripping. “I...” She struggled to find words as his hands worked her zipper down and slipped her pants free of her legs. “I...won’t...”
“Hmm?” he asked, cocking his head to one side. “Having a hard time finding your words?” he teased, tiptoeing his fingers up the insides of her thighs and tracing them back down toward her knees.
He had to see the wetness soaking through her panties by now.
Had she shaved her legs?
Crap. She couldn’t remember. Hopefully, he wouldn’t care.
And... Whatever. This wasn’t only about his satisfaction.
Her entire life, when it came to sex, all she had ever cared about was pleasing her partner. But why? It wasn’t hard to make men happy. Why couldn’t she seek her own satisfaction in this moment? Undoubtedly, if she found the ending she wanted, he would, too. And better, he would get to know that he had made her feel something so beautiful.
As he opened up the buttons of her shirt and kissed her naked skin, she thought about all the pain and hate in the world. They had both seen so much evil. It was moments like this, where two souls connected and shared in this special secret, that brought goodness to life.
Yes, she was going to live this moment up. If it was to be the first time of many or the last time she was to feel his lips on her skin, she was here. This was love.
Could love live in a single moment? Or was this something else? Was it only lust?
He had said he wanted a relationship, but if this was only to be tonight, she would have to tell herself it had only been lust. But right now all she felt was love.
His tongue found her center, over her panties. She gasped. He pushed them to the side and his tongue flicked against her nub. She nearly quivered with excitement. Oh, it had been so long.
He pressed his tongue inside her and then moved up, circling her with the tip of his tongue before flicking her, hard. She jumped, loving every second of it. She relaxed back into the bed, letting him explore her body. This was for him, too.
But what if he didn’t like her?
What if she tasted bad?
She put her arm over her head. Why? Why did she have to have these thoughts when all she wanted to do was to let herself savor the moment? All she had to do was feel and yet, all she could do was think.
What in the hell was wrong with her?
Stop. She had to stop this crazy spiral of thoughts.
Be present.
She sighed as she ran her fingers through his blond hair. He pressed his mouth down on her.
Flick.
Roll.
Dip.
She gasped. Yes. That. She loved that. Whatever that was that he was doing to her.
He pulled her into his mouth and sucked. And just when she thought it couldn’t feel better, he flicked.
If she died in this moment, she would have been satisfied with her life.
How. Yes. Oh. Yes.
“I...” she started, but she was stopped as he sucked and flicked again.
Seriously, she had no idea what he was actually doing to her body, but it felt better than anything she had ever felt in her entire life.
“You...”
“Yes?” he asked, finally releasing her.
“You. Are. The. Best,” she said between ragged, wanting breaths.
“And so are you.” He dove down, back between her legs.
Her legs shook as he pulled her into his mouth and pushed his fingers inside her. She lifted her hips, letting him push deeper into her.
More. She needed more.
Reaching down, she let him know what she wanted. She rolled on her side and guided him into her. He eased into her gently though she was more than ready to take every bit of what he graciously offered. She took hold of his muscular ass and pressed him into her, throwing her head back as he took control of her and made her gasp.
After a moment he rolled on top of her. He looked into her eyes as he slowed, letting her feel every sensation...the feel of him
between her legs, the heat of his breath, the dampness of their skin as they pressed against one another.
He picked up his speed and she pressed her face into his neck, kissing him and nibbling as if she could taste the ecstasy as it edged close. His breathing quickened and she could feel him grow harder within her.
“Not yet,” she begged.
“Yes. This. Is. For you.” He stopped, collecting himself.
He moved to sitting and lifted her legs so they rested over the tops of his shoulders. He moved slow, controlled. Using the tip, he ran it over her, playing. He eased into her again.
Putting her hands on the cold wooden headboard, she pressed herself down on him. Now it was her turn to take control.
Rocking her hips, she used one hand to help herself, making him watch.
“Yes,” he begged. “Please.” His words sounded ragged and heavy as he waited for her. “Let’s do this together, baby. Please.”
A low primal sound escaped her throat as she let go.
This. Him. Now. All of this. She wanted him. All of him. And not just now; she wanted him, always. As it seemed, he was more than happy to give it all.
Chapter Fourteen
Evan could think of no moments better than those he and Natalie had shared. They had barely slept and when they weren’t making love, they were lying in bed next to each other, talking and laughing. If he could have, he would have stayed in that moment forever. In those hours, nothing else but her mattered.
And damn if he didn’t love her. Hard.
He’d wanted to tell her last night, but he’d stopped himself several times. In the sheets was hardly the right time to tell someone you loved them for the first time. It should be real, not expressed when a person was so filled with happy hormones that they could love a toaster and mean it. Natalie was far too special to just blurt it out.
Thinking of special, he hoped he had made her feel that she was special to him last night. He had pulled out all the stops in satisfying her and he had given it a solid college try to kiss every inch of her entire body. Though he had no doubts she had enjoyed herself—he would need to throw the sheets in the wash later—he hoped she knew that he had never had a night like they had shared ever before. And he doubted that he would ever have a night as good as it again. This was the best first, and hopefully the last.
He sat out a cup of coffee and a plate of biscuits and gravy for her on the kitchen island and when she finally appeared, freshly showered, she smiled and gobbled it down. She barely took a breath and he was glad that she appreciated his cooking.
“Want any more?” he asked.
She shook her head as she took a long pull from her coffee mug.
“Are you sure? I know I worked you over pretty hard last night,” he teased, his thoughts moving to how good she had looked on top of him with her hair falling down over her shoulders.
His body was tired, but apparently, not too tired.
“I’m fine. I was just hoping we could hit the ground running today. Oddly enough, I’m feeling reinvigorated,” she said, sending him a cute grin over the lip of her coffee mug.
“Glad to hear it. I’d hate to have to help you find a renewal of energy again sometime. Or, I can ask Judy for one of her special breakfasts.”
They laughed. “Oh, she is going to love our being together.”
“Definitely. You want to go check on her soon?” He made sure to stand well covered behind the counter.
“Not until we find my attacker. I was hoping we could maybe look into the rest of the list of chemical buyers today.”
“Great minds,” he said, leaning slightly to adjust himself. He walked around the counter and gave her a kiss to the head. “Let’s hit it.”
It didn’t take them long to get to the main fire station downtown and be buzzed in. The place was awash with the sounds of men talking and a blaring television. The place smelled like old smoke and a chemical he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but something oily. The door from the main lobby to the garage was open and from where he stood, he could make out the sounds of a basketball bouncing and the clink and rattle as someone made a basket.
The place reminded him of a military base with men making dark but damn funny jokes. The only thing missing was the sounds of rounds being pinged off in the distance. A woman walked around the corner and gave them an acknowledging tip of the head. “Can I point you in some kind of direction?” she asked.
“Actually,” he started, “we were hoping to talk to Mr. VanBuren. He working today?”
“Hmm...yeah. He is not normally here on the weekends, but I think I saw him poking around in his office earlier. I think he was filling in for our battalion chief. Follow me.” She led them down a white-tiled hallway and deeper into the building until they came to a row of glass-walled offices and a large classroom at the end.
To their left, sitting in his office and leaning back in his chair while he chatted on the phone, was a man with VanBuren on the nameplate affixed to his white uniform shirt. He looked up as they stopped. He frowned, looking a bit put out that he was being bothered. The woman motioned they were there to see him. He lifted his finger, said something to the person he was talking to on the phone, then hung up and waved them in.
“Have a good one,” the firefighter said as she turned and went back to the main area.
“Thanks again,” Natalie said.
“No prob,” the woman called behind her.
VanBuren opened his office door and poked his head out. His hair was almost completely gray, but there was a smattering of brown through it. His eyes were red, like he hadn’t had a great deal of sleep. “What can I do for you?” He looked over at Natalie and stared for a moment, almost as if he was trying to place her. “Judge DeSalvo? What are you doing down here?”
She gave the man a warm smile, but her face was tight like she didn’t really know him. “Actually, I don’t know if you heard, but my car was bombed a couple of days back.”
“Oh yeah,” VanBuren said, walking out into the hall. “Bad business. Has the FBI made any progress on tracking down the individual responsible?”
She shook her head. “Not yet, but they are working on it.”
“Glad to hear you were safe. You have any ideas who would have done something like that? I got word that Hanes got hurt that day, as well. Any word on his condition?” the man asked.
“He’s going to survive,” Evan said, looking the man in the eyes.
“Glad to hear.” VanBuren looked away and Evan tried not to read too much into it.
This man was on their short list of suspects, but it didn’t mean much and it was normal for people to avoid eye contact, especially when one or both were feeling at all uncomfortable. And, no doubt, standing in front of the district court judge would make anyone working under the umbrella of the city a little bit nervous. Evan wondered if VanBuren had ever had to sit in or testify in her court. Even if he hadn’t, it was probably only a matter of time until he did.
“I know your station was the one that took the call for the bombing,” Natalie said. “Did you hear anything about what had happened or about the bomb itself?”
The man shrugged. “Not a whole lot. Our investigator worked with the FBI in pulling together what he could, but I haven’t talked to him. Why?”
Evan tried to disarm him by leaning against the wall and letting out a long yawn before speaking. “Well, one of the chemicals in the bomb was something you are on record as ordering.”
“Huh. What?”
“Zinc phosphide,” Natalie answered.
“Ah, yeah. I use it in my training.” The man looked slightly relieved, like he was afraid they were going to ask him straight out if he had helped to make the device. “We were working on Class D fires a few weeks ago with a few of the rookies and younger guys.”
Evan had once heard that most firef
ighters were arsonists at heart. To battle fire, a person had to love it. It was right in line with cops being one different choice away from being criminals. He believed it, but according to that logic he would have been one step away from being a murderer; that was a hard pill to swallow.
“How did the training go?” Natalie asked, seeming genuinely interested. “What did you do?”
“Just the normal thing. I created a fire in our tower. Made them establish what kind of fire it was and how best to battle it. The different teams did well, but they still need a little more work before I’ll be satisfied.” VanBuren shrugged. “Why?”
Natalie looked like she was going to answer, so Evan stopped her by saying, “How many did you have in your teams?”
“Well, let’s see...” The man stared into space and said a few names aloud. “Oh, and there was Lewis and Barber. Oh...and Hanes.”
“Hanes? Sven Hanes?” Evan asked.
The man nodded, but there was a flicker of annoyance on his face and he ran his hand over his mouth. “The one and only.”
What was that supposed to mean? Did the man dislike the judge’s son? He wanted to press him and ask him about his feelings directly, but he knew that the man’s loyalty—regardless of his personal feelings—would always be with his fellow firefighters and not some stranger off the street.
Natalie nodded, seeming to have noticed the man’s body language, as well. “I’ve heard mixed reviews on that kid. How is it going with him?”
The man looked directly at Evan before peering back at the judge. “Meh. Hard to say. He’s only been with us about a year and I don’t work with him a whole lot, other than on the training stage. We will see his stuff when he hits the big leagues.”
Evan wasn’t sure exactly what the man meant by that. He would have assumed that all firefighting was dangerous and big league, but he didn’t bother to ask.
“He’s smart, though?” Natalie continued. “Quick to learn?”
A Judge's Secrets Page 16
