My Summer of Love and Misfortune

by Lindsay Wong

  Frank studies me, as if deciding what to do.

  I wiggle out of my top.

  I unhook my bra.

  Off go my pants and matching underwear. Shit. I’ve accidentally thrown them so far across the room that I don’t know where they landed.

  Frank’s mouth drops.

  I believe what Madame Xing meant was channeling positivity into all my interactions and showing people my true, authentic self. I tell myself that I’m a zesty delicious three-cheese pizza with extra bugs sprinkled on it. That is my updated version of Iris Weijun Wang, a Chinese flower-heart and also a ferocious Tiger who knows exactly what or who she wants.

  I imagine being even more naked in front of him. I imagine Frank to be fully naked as well.

  It completely works.

  Because this time, Frank doesn’t stop me after we hungrily kiss for what feels like the length of a long and indulgent miniseries. Our hands and mouths are everywhere. Our tongues and teeth are slow but frantic against each other’s skin. Frank feels pretty extraordinary lying under me, and I just want him even closer. What happens next is completely R-rated. No hotel mattresses, furniture, or walls are broken. No one loses a limb or an eye. The act itself isn’t earth-shattering, mind-blowing, or even remotely life-changing. But I do make all sorts of extra-loud, angsty jungle-animal sounds. And I only cry a little.

  Honestly, it just feels super nice to be held by someone again. Anyone who is the complete opposite of Peter Hayes. Anyone who gives me expensive jewelry, uses a condom, and says that he is very, very sorry. “You’re pretty incredible, Iris Weijun Wang,” Frank says in a hoarse voice as we share a mini bottle of Tsingtao beer in bed afterward. We order in room service: tiny candied kumquats, delicious sugar-coated kiwi, banana and strawberry slices, sticky lotus seed moon cakes, chewy dense grass jellies, and dragon’s beard candy, which is a fine, white-colored Chinese version of cotton candy.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” I tease, feeling my face for any Tiger whiskers. There’s none for now, and I’m so incredibly pleased.

  Frank swats my arm playfully. His touch still feels hot and excitingly apocalyptic. Like being too close to a miniature replica of the sun. I convince myself that I’m one of the happiest girls, if not temporarily satisfied ones, in the continent of Asia. At least within Forbes Top 30.

  “I’m so lucky to have met you,” Frank says with his usual semi-serious expression.

  Smiling flirtatiously at him, I take an extra-long drink of watered-down beer before helping myself to a silver tray of candied kumquats. Then I shrug at his compliment like it’s no big deal, but inside, my flower-heart thrums.

  Is Frank Liao the one?

  26

  Naked Photos

  When the taxi finally drops me back at the Shangri-La, three detectives and six uniformed cops have taken over our living room. Sitting on the fancy white upholstered couch, Uncle Dai is holding his head in his hands, and Auntie Yingfei is sobbing hysterically.

  Seated across from them, Ruby seems to be enjoying a matcha latte and a humongous plate of sticky mung bean cakes. She chews delicately, like a smug little bunny.

  “What’s the matter?” I say brightly as I prance into the center of the room and survey the detectives. “Who died?”

  “Weijun, we thought you die!!!” Uncle Dai practically screams.

  He leaps up as if he wants to hug me, but then seems to change his mind. He sits back down and crosses his arms and legs. He seems to remember his usual no-hugging policy at the last minute.

  His face suddenly turns serious and scolding.

  “We have problem with new hotel site and we think something happen to you. How could you leave and not tell us? We think you kidnap! I call police, detective, your parents fifty time. In Beijing, it is common for ransom. I even call taxi company and bus company in case you run away. Then Ruby see naked photo of you on internet and show me.”

  What is he talking about? Naked photo?!

  I don’t remember posing for any nudie photos, and it seems like something that I would remember. No matter how high or wasted I was, I would never agree to pose naked for photos on purpose.

  Then I remember that when my phone started working an hour ago, I uploaded sixteen photos on Instagram, of Frank and me, with our underwear on, in the gorgeous hot springs. How are those even remotely naked photos? They’re practically travel-magazine-worthy.

  “Explain, Weijun!” Uncle Dai demands. “Why you naked on internet?”

  “Those aren’t naked photos,” I protest. “They’re just me and Frank.”

  “What you talking about?” Uncle Dai says. “No clothes! You naked!”

  He shows me the photos.

  I guess he has a point.

  “You are KISSING boy!” he continues.

  “Yes, but he’s the tutor you hired. Frank? Not just any boy!”

  But my answer seems to be making the situation worse.

  Uncle Dai is literally covering his face with his hands. Auntie Yingfei looks completely confused, and Ruby is staring at me while she nibbles slowly on her cakes. She looks shocked, but quickly averts her eyes when she catches me looking. And here I thought we were actually becoming friends.

  Frowning at her and confused about her loyalty, I grab the plate away from her and start stress-eating myself.

  The cops and detectives look at us, chat briefly with my uncle, and then quickly leave.

  Uncle Dai turns to me. He also grabs two mung bean cakes himself and stuffs them in his mouth. It seems that eating in these situations is the only way to relieve the tension escalating in my stomach, throat, and nose, a stress that is also choking everyone else in the room. This kind of situation feels like a horrible ENT infection caused by the worsening air quality in Beijing. It isn’t anyone’s fault, right? Blame the government and the environment.

  “I’m totally fine,” I insist. “There was no cellular reception or Wi-Fi at the hotel. That’s why I didn’t call you.”

  My words cause Uncle Dai to almost choke on his food.

  I quickly swallow my mouthful of sticky cake. These are sweet and savory and spicy at the same time. Where did the Shangri-La’s kitchen get these amazing cakes?

  After coughing up nearly half of his mouthful, Uncle Dai starts shouting again: “You tell no one and disappear when we already so scare with hotel. You do not text or phone or leave note. You just vanish. You not care about us!

  “Your daddy send you to Beijing so we can be family, but you NOT treat us like family by not telling us where you going!

  “Now we find out you take naked photo and spend whole weekend with a boy? With the tutor! I pay him lots of money to help you learn Chinese and he take advantage of my niece. You will never see him again. Weijun, I don’t know what to tell your daddy.”

  Speechless, I stare at him.

  He’s right about the part where I was extremely selfish and didn’t bother telling them where I was going and that I was safe the whole time. But I was just trying to unite our entire family. I can’t tell him about Madame Xing. I can’t tell him about how I know about the horrible decades-long war between him, my father, and my grandparents in the past.

  I can’t tell him that I was just trying to repair a beautiful, broken watercolor painting by searching for missing pieces.

  “I’m sorry about not telling you and Auntie Yingfei,” I say. “Not texting or phoning was irresponsible and wrong. But I won’t apologize for Frank. He’s a good person.”

  Uncle Dai looks at me, furious and shocked at my response.

  “You embarrass family!” he says.

  Is it that huge of a deal that I posted photos of Frank and me in our underwear? It’s exactly like being in a hot tub, but outdoors in nature. Doesn’t he admire my iPhone photography skills? There are flowers, rocks, magpies, and gushing blue-white waters. I even got 114 likes on Instagram this morning.

  Why is Uncle Dai so focused on the fact that I hooked up with my tutor?

  Is
n’t Frank better than a random person on the street?

  Would he be having the same reaction if I told him that I slept with a rickshaw driver? Or a dude who operates a food stall at Fucheng Street Market?

  Anyway, he’s not serious about not letting me see Frank again, is he? Can uncles in Beijing prohibit modern-day Romeo and Juliet relationships? Are Chinese relationship laws based on medieval Shakespearean times?

  Stunned, I turn to Ruby to ask her, but she’s looking at me like I’m a mess. A centipede that she wants to skewer and deep-fry alive but won’t actually eat.

  Unexpectedly, Uncle Dai’s phone rings and he goes into his office to answer it. Auntie Yingfei, glancing nervously at us, quickly follows him.

  I turn to Ruby. “Why did you show your dad the photos of Frank and me?”

  She gives me a funny, hurt expression. I almost miss her severe eye-rolling when I first arrived in Beijing.

  “You were supposed to pick up the dog so my dad wouldn’t find out!” she hisses. “The monks couldn’t reach you, so they phoned the spa owner, who phoned Mr. Chen, and they are boarding the dog for a few days before they ship it back to the temple! Now I can’t practice. My dad doesn’t want me ordering any more dogs with my allowance.”

  “Oh my god, Ruby,” I say, shocked. “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot about the mastiff.”

  “You promised, Iris! What type of person promises and forgets?”

  She’s right. I’m truly an awful person who can’t remember to help her cousin when it counts.

  “And guess what? I got a B-minus on the paper you looked at!” she continues. “We’re both grounded for the summer.”

  “But that’s a good mark,” I say, confused. I have never gotten a B-minus on a paper before.

  “I needed a high A. And congratulations. You also just lost both of our allowances.”

  “What do you mean? I thought your dad was joking,” I say.

  “You don’t take anything seriously, do you?” she retorts. “No one gets less than perfect if you’re related to the great Feng Construction Corp, who only builds award-winning, perfect celebrity hotels. I can’t believe we are even related.

  “I want my boots back,” she suddenly says, crossing her arms.

  I forgot that I was still wearing her beautiful gold leather boots. I wore Ruby’s gift for the entire weekend in Chengdu, except when I was in the hot springs, obviously.

  Can’t Ruby see that her boots honestly look amazing on me?

  “They make my complexion better,” I tell her, before realizing that it was the wrong thing to say.

  “Take them off right now,” she insists. “I want them back. I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

  I unzip them and hand them over.

  “You are the worst person I have ever met,” she says coldly.

  Tears of horror, shame, and guilt prick my eyeballs. I feel horrible for not remembering my promise to Ruby. I can’t believe that I made a commitment without even thinking about it. Does that make me a shitty friend or a shittier cousin?

  My phone dings. At first, I think it’s Frank, but Ruby is texting me, perched on an armchair across the room. Eyebrows bunched up as if she’s about to cry, she seems unable to have a face-to-face conversation when it comes to emotional matters.

  SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: I actually thought you were okay for a while

  Iris: Ruby i’m so sorry

  Iris: It’s no excuse but I completely forgot about picking up your dog

  SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: You don’t care about anything except yourself

  Iris: That’s not true

  Iris: I’m enlightened now!

  SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: Wtf are you talking about?

  SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: You’re SO selfish

  SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: You were having fun and forgot

  Iris: I’m sorry

  SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: Sorry doesn’t mean anything if you keep doing it

  SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: I thought i misjudged you but you are the most spoiled and laziest person i have ever met and i know all the top 10 richest families in China

  Finally, Uncle Dai storms back in, his face scrunched up and worried. “We need to move to new hotel NOW. Leave everything.”

  WECHAT GROUP (#1WangFamily!!!)

  Mom: HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH?!

  IrisDaddy: How could you shame us in front of your uncle and aunt? They think we did a terrible job raising you.

  Mom: You betrayed everyone’s trust. You have no respect for your elders. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going. Why didn’t you phone us???

  Mom: EVERYONE has been so worried

  Mom: We thought something horrible had happened

  Mom: You need to think about other people before you disappear. We thought you were kidnapped/murdered/dead

  IrisDaddy: We have not slept for 48 hours. We called the US Embassy in China

  IrisDaddy: We thought Beijing would change you! Your behavior is out of control

  Mom: CALL US BACK

  WECHAT GROUP (#1WangFamily!!!)

  Mom: NAKED PHOTOS, Iris?

  Mom: Your uncle thinks you’re an internet porn star!!

  IrisDaddy: You spent a weekend with a strange boy?!!

  101 messages.

  27

  Confrontation

  “Not safe,” Uncle Dai says as we exit the building with hotel security. I notice that my uncle has hired a dozen additional bodyguards, who follow us in shiny black cars. Apparently, the police think that he’s being targeted by a specific group of protestors who will do anything to stop my uncle from building his new hotel.

  I’m suddenly nervous. It seems incredibly serious if we have to evacuate the Shangri-La in secrecy. I’m not even allowed to bring my toothbrush. Uncle Dai won’t even let Ruby leave the house with the gold boots, so she puts them on instead.

  “What’s going on?” I ask. “I deserve to know.”

  “They don’t want us to build brand-new hotel,” Uncle Dai says.

  “Who?” I say.

  “People in Beijing very angry this time. We pick site that is not accepted by everyone. Many write letter and say they want to hurt us. Someone follow Auntie Yingfei home from bank yesterday. Feng Corp number five company in Asia and our job is to build best hotel. But people destroy hotel site last night. They think we are kicking people out of their home, but we already have many investor put money in. We make big mistake.”

  “What?” I ask, confused.

  I stop breathing for at least a few minutes, until I feel what I think are my lungs exploding like microwave popcorn. My heart beats uncontrollably. I’m actually terrified. Nothing newsworthy like this has ever happened to me in New Jersey.

  How can Uncle Dai be so nonchalant and businesslike about this problem? Is he just extra talented at hiding his feelings? Or is he downplaying his fear so we won’t get scared? He seems to handle trouble better than my dad, who would be either screaming or sobbing (like me).

  “Is this normal?” I ask him.

  “At first police say the letter will go away last summer,” Uncle Dai says slowly. “But then now many try to push car and then you suddenly missing and lots of angry people. We not worry at first because no big deal. Now we must fix problem, but we already have investor money and start building.”

  “Aren’t you scared?” I demand, scanning Ruby and Auntie Yingfei for social cues. They seem as uncomfortable as I am, clutching their purses but not being overly emotional. They look like they are pretending to tolerate a foreign art movie, but in reality, they have no idea what’s going on. Is that how I look when I’m browsing museums? Half-constipated, half fake-frozen smiling?

  “Weijun, do not worry,” Uncle Dai says. “I am CEO of family and company.”

  “Aren’t you worried, though?” I persist.

  “Scare is bad for productivity,” he says.

  “Yes! But—”

  “Weijun, enough question. P
lease stop talking and let me think.” Uncle Dai looks deeply disturbed.

  Auntie Yingfei puts her arms around me and Ruby, and we huddle together in the car. I glance at Ruby, who is no longer pouting. She glances at me without her usual snarky eye-rolling, then looks away. Is this a relatively normal situation for her? Or is this unthinkable evacuation an actual emergency for her, too?

  We don’t talk during the entire car ride.

  I recognize the palatial structure of the Red Mandarin Hotel as soon as we near the entrance. My grandparents live here. But this time, we enter through the back with the security team at urgent, fast-forwarded speed.

  Ruby and I are assigned to a suite on the thirty-seventh floor. We’ll be sharing a room. Uncle Dai thinks it’s better to split up, in case anyone follows him. Even Auntie Yingfei will be staying on a separate floor.

  I thought that he’d most likely forget due to the stress and chaos of relocating hotels, but Uncle Dai makes us hand over our prepaid Visa cards. How can he even remember that Ruby got a B-minus in English at a time like this? For some reason, I can’t find mine, which was with the secret room key that my grandma gave me.

  “You not lying?” Uncle Dai asks, looking shocked. “You lose Visa card??”

  I hand him my purse and wallet to search, and even he and Auntie Yingfei agree that they can’t find it.

  “At least I still have my passport, right?” I say. “That’s important, right?”

  No one says anything.

  “Can I see Grandma and Grandpa?” Ruby asks.

  Uncle Dai looks at me nervously.

  “It’s okay,” I say. “I know they live here. I know what happened between my dad and you in the past.”

  He looks at me, incredulous.

  “How?” he says, but then he changes his mind. “Forget it. Don’t tell me. Tiger is very sneaky animal!”