Talen’s people came from an isolated island in the northlands. When he was a boy, a race of unfamiliar men slaughtered his tribe, leaving him the sole survivor after he had hidden himself amongst the dead. From then on, Talen was on his own, raising himself from the age of eight to the man of thirty that he was now. Talen’s people were farmers and raised animals. Through our friendship, he taught me the intricacies of gardening. I learned what grew best with each season. How knowing the world around you kept you fed during the lean months of the year.
“You said that the previous winter was hard on you,” He mentioned one day as he sat comfortably beside me, warming himself by my hearth fire and eating the vegetable soup that had been cooking for much of the day. “If you follow the plan that I have given you, you will not experience such hardship again.” The knowledge that he bore left me in awe. Over the course of the months that we had known each other, I realized that though he was humble, Talen was wise beyond his years. I also came to know that he harbored ghosts of his own. Our friendship was short but was the most profound of my lifetime.
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Talen was a great teacher and eventually, a reliable confidante. With him, I felt as if my voice was heard and that it mattered. Talen was quick to give praise but if I did something wrong, his gentle reprimands were firm and assertive. His people believed in a peaceful life. Violence was not something they condoned, very few had carried weapons, and those that did were few and far between.
“All that we knew about knives was they were for the butchering of meat and scraping of skins. Now that I look back on it, our ignorance was our doom. That was the downfall of my people.” He told me that same night after our meal was over. A malevolent storm had blown in, bringing repeated flashes of lightning, destructive winds, and deafening thunder. All of it prevented him from walking home safely. “No one knew how to defend themselves because we had never had to before. For centuries, we went unmolested. The island where we lived was surrounded by rough sea. That alone was a deterrent until the marauders laid everything to waste.” His hurt hung on every word and I felt closer to him, knowing that his upbringing was very similar to mine.
“Tell me about your family,” I asked simply and waited for him to respond.
Talen fell right into his story, telling me about his father, a tall strong, giant of a man with bright red hair, soft hazel eyes, whose wit could outmatch any man. A man who also possessed gentleness only found in men of his size. Talen’s brothers and sisters all looked like him. His brothers were typical boys, loud and rambunctious, while his sisters were calmer, more reasonable, and less apt to get into trouble. His mother was a petite woman with his wheat-colored hair, who was even-tempered and could make a meal out of anything.
“You remind me of her,” He complimented me, and I was greatly honored by the comparison. “She was also a skilled healer. She taught all of her children the bare basics before she was killed.” His face fell as the memory of that horrible day came upon him. I watched the play of emotions as they twisted and molded the planes of his face, watching the happiness morph into anger, then how the anger transformed into hatred and the hatred became sorrow. “I miss them every day and I carry their memory with me wherever I go.” I watched as he reached into the neck hole of his shirt and pulled out a medallion laced upon a leather throng. “This was my father’s.” He held it out for me to see. It was a miniature bronze disc with a worn surface but had once held an image.
“I miss my family too,” I blurted out suddenly, not realizing I had said it until the words were out. My words were true. I missed Aunt Leena, Eweln, Ibira, Mira, but most of all, I missed my sister. Even though she had hurt me to my core, I missed my sister tremendously.
Ravene popped into my head periodically as the days passed. I found myself thinking about her, wondering what she was doing. Whether she had gone on to be Huntress and if so, did she bear a child? I also wondered if she had realized the extent of what she had done and whether she was sorry or not. Sometimes I thought of Reena, but I can honestly say, there was an absence of longing. I was startled to realize that my feelings towards her had changed completely and that there was no longer any trace of familial affection. Across the chasm of space, I knew that that was how she felt towards me. In my heart, I knew that she had no remorse in her actions. That offering me up as a sacrifice had no meaning. She did what she did and never looked back. After all, no one would trust her if she went back on her word. In her mind, a High Priestess who was swayed by emotion was a weak one.
Even though I understood the reasoning, I still didn’t accept it. I was her daughter first and foremost. My father was the man that she had loved. Why wouldn’t she have loved a child that came from that union? Why wasn’t her love for my father extended to me? Did she blame me for his death? Part of me wondered that if he was still alive, would she have treated me that way? Many questions raced through my mind. From the other side of the fire, Talen watched me carefully.
“Yvaine?” He said my name and that was the moment that I shared my story with him.
“Are you familiar with the Hunter and Huntress ritual of the Spring Rites?” I asked, feeling the weight of my secret shift. Talen nodded his head and said that family’s people were faithful followers. “Then you know what happens.”
“A young man and a young woman are selected and are expected to couple on Beltane.” He answered.
“I was the Huntress,” I told him flatly as the memory of the Choosing ceremony loomed just at the edge of my mind. “Everyone thought it would be my sister. Even I thought she’d be selected. Ravene was born for the role. I never imagined that it would be my name that my mother called out, even if it wasn’t the one that the Goddess chose.”
“Your mother was the High Priestess? And she called your name even though you weren’t the one chosen?” His eyes looked directly into mine while his fingers twiddled with an acorn top. “That makes no sense, Yvaine. Why would she do that?”
“Because my mother saw me as a sacrifice. I heard it said with her own tongue. She willfully went against the Goddess’ commands, all to enhance her image. Because she was the High Priestess, she could do it and no one would be the wiser. She chose me without hesitation or regret. That decision tore my family apart. Ten generations of my family and more have been chosen for the Huntress and she ruined it when she picked me.” I paused briefly, drawing in a deep breath as my resentment reared its head again.
“How did she do that, Yvaine?” Talen asked simply without judgement.
“Just like I said. Mother saw something in the water and made alterations that would benefit her. She stood in front of everyone and called out my name and acted as if it were a surprise,” I spat, recalling her unreadable expression at the end of the Choosing Ceremony. “After the selection was over, I was taken to a small island at the southwestern end of our world.” To explain the geography better, I drew a birds-eye view map in the dirt of the cave floor for him. “This island here,” I placed my finger on the small dot next to a larger island. “This is where I went and there, I met my grandmother, my father’s mother.” A flash of my Leanan’s face appeared before me and I caught a whiff of her scent in the air around us. “She was the one that guided me through the training and taught me everything that I needed to know. She shared stories of my father with me because I didn’t remember anything about him. He died when I was just a few years old. No one, especially my mother, ever spoke of him. Grandmother told me how much my parents loved each other and that it nearly broke my mother when he died.”
“Love like that is rare. They were very lucky.” Talen said as tossed the acorn top aside and he leaned back, resting his weight upon his outstretched arms.
“You would think so, but you couldn’t tell from how she acted afterwards.” I spat again.
“What happened after that?”
“My training went beautifully. Grandmother and her Acolytes taught me everything. What songs to sing, how to perform th
e ceremony, what crucial elements needed to be executed, all to the most minute detail. They covered everything except how to deal with the situation if it went terribly wrong.” I let out a short sigh, feeling my neck start to tense.
“Is that where you got your tattoos?” He asked. I had caught him looking at them before, but he had never asked about them.
“Yes. They’re supposed to be sacred spells of protection. All of them are useless now.” I said flippantly, knowing now that whatever protection the tattoos offered was purely ceremonial. Tattoos, that I had come to realize, that none of the other Chosen bore. “The night of the ceremony came. My grandmother and my mother did their part. The Acolytes sang me to my destination and then, just when it all seemed so promising, everything went wrong. I didn’t know that I was walking straight into a nightmare.” Talen straightened up, his interest piqued. I hesitated for a moment before continuing on.
“When I got to the cave, I was attacked by a madman that hounded me for years. He cut my Hunter, Canwyn’s, heart out so he could perform the Rites himself.” I paused momentarily and took several breaths as I prepared myself for what I was about to say. “That bastard took me against my will. He punched me, kicked me, bit me, and scratched me until I was left broken and bleeding. And he violated me in every way imaginable. He tortured me for most of the night and because no one is permitted within a close distance of the cave, no one was there to hear me scream as he repeatedly raped me. In between attacks, he threatened to kill my loved ones if I said anything. Just when I thought it was all over, he took out a knife and placed it into the fire so that he could brand me as if I was his property.”
I surprised my friend by raising the hem of the gown. I drew the cloth up high enough to show Talen the mark permanently etched in my skin. The raised, twisted, pale ribbon created by the scorching metal of Cal’s knife. “I don’t know where it came from, but I found the strength to fight him. Somehow—I don’t know how because he was so much stronger than me— I managed to get hold of his knife and I plunged it deep into his back. I stabbed him several times and left him to die there on the floor of that cave. That space was supposed to be sacred, you see. He defiled it by taking what wasn’t his, and I defiled it by taking his life.” My throat tightened as the last words left my lips. My eyes stung with burning tears and I couldn’t stop them from streaming down my cheeks. I sniffed and wiped at them with the back of my sleeve. All the while, Talen continued to watch me.
“No, Yvaine. You defended yourself. You did not defile that space. That rapist did. He did it by putting you through the worst thing a person can experience.” Talen reached for me to move closer to him. “You don’t believe any of it was your fault, do you?” He said simply. The words struck a deep resonance within me. He had something to that effect before. I glanced into his eyes and then back to the fire, avoiding the question. “What happened is not your fault.” Talen came alive with a platonic passion. “The death of your Hunter, the disgusting act that you were made to suffer! None of that was your fault because you did nothing wrong. You were victimized by a monster and you fought to survive.” His voice rose, not with anger at me but with rage that I had been abused in such a way. “It’s what anyone would have done. And I hope that you know that you are not the same person who had to suffer that. You took control of your destiny. You refused to be the victim. You chose to survive with strength.” Talen’s arms encircled me and held me close to him while I let out all the emotion that I had pent up.
“My mother and my sister blamed me, though,” I said, and my composure shattered. I began to cry, unable to stop the flow of tears or the sobs that racked my body.
“Then their Goddess will curse them for that! The Goddess is not the one that betrayed you. She didn’t abandon you but rather gave you the will to survive and venture out onto your own path. It was your Mother who deceived you. She’s also to blame. The fault of what happened lies solely at her feet. You do not deserve to carry the burden.”
“Talen, my sister blamed me for the Hunter’s death and for taking the role from her. She thought she was going to marry him. She loved Canwyn. He was the love of my sister’s life. Because I was the Huntress, she held me responsible. Worst of all, my own mother didn’t regret her decision. I heard her speak to my aunt after I made it back home. She didn’t care what happened. I could have died but she saw me as a tool to be used. She tricked me into believing that I was the one selected. She chose to sacrifice me because she saw that something was going to happen. She saw it and sent me in like a beast to be slaughtered.” I sniffed loudly as I leaned against his shoulder. “The only ones that showed any concern or kindness were Eweln and my aunt, Leena. My mother’s indifference only added to my humiliation and my frustration. The worst of it was that she didn’t even bother to tell me that my grandmother died. Instead, I had to hear it from a messenger.” I started to cry again, wracked with loss after having Grandmother in my life for just a short time.
The words poured from my mouth and I could do nothing to stop their flow. I had held the weight of my pain in for over a year without anyone to tell it to, let alone understand. My dear friend not only listened patiently but also faithfully assured me over and over that I was not to blame. He was determined that I know that what happened was in no way my fault and that I was the one who had been betrayed. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized just how much I wanted someone to say those words. Having them said freed me from binds that had held me for so long. After my sadness had ebbed and my eyes dried, I was worn down, exhausted, and completely void of strength. “If your society would be so cruel towards someone who was attacked, assaulted, and tortured, then you are better off out here. You were right to leave them. To treat an innocent person the same as the perpetrator is just insanity.”
“I know but it is hard not to shoulder the blame. I can never go back. Not that I would want to but even if I did, I know I’d be banished from their shores. Reena would see to it that I can’t. It’d be her last punishment. Exile means that I can never see my loved ones again.”
“Yvaine, these people of yours are ignorant. Judging by Valon’s tale that you told me, as well as this one, those Islanders will always find another scapegoat to blame. From what happened to your friend’s sister, you are not the first nor will you be the last. Those who love you will understand. No matter what happens, those that love us will continue to do so. I am certain that they know that the only choice that you had was to leave.”
He was right again. Without knowing anything more, Talen possessed an insight into our society that left me in awe. As I sat there in his arms, comforted in the protection that he exuded, I came to an astounding realization. Through all the years, whenever something had gone wrong, whether it be crop failure, a stillbirth, or even the deaths of several animals, there had always been someone or something to blame. There was always a scapegoat that was deemed responsible, rather than the people trying to find a logical, credible explanation for what occurred. This time, the scapegoat was me.
Talen held me through the night as I fell asleep in his arms. When I woke the next morning, I was drained but lighter. The fire had died out and Talen was nowhere to be found. I stretched before I climbed out of my pallet and got myself dressed. Removing the blanket that I used to block the wind, I peeked my head outside. Streaks of sunlight lit up the sky announcing the birth of another dawn.
Spring was here again. I sucked in a deep breath and patted my stomach contentedly. Feeling the Sun’s warmth on my face, I scanned the area below, but found no trace of my friend. I briefly ducked inside, grabbed my basket and the walking stick I carried with me— Talen’s suggestion—and went back outside to search for him. If he had intended to go back home, he would have said so. The few times when foul weather struck, forcing us to shelter at the others’ home, our rule was to always let the other know when we left. Talen was a respectable, honorable man whose word meant everything to him. Any promise that he made, he kept it.
/> Innocently, I thought he had let me sleep because he knew I needed to rest. I quickly made my way down the pathway and headed straight into the forest. The stream was the first place I looked. Upon arriving, I first checked his traps, none of which had emptied because each one held a fresh fish. Taking the liberty of emptying and preparing his catch, I wrapped the fish in a piece of cloth and set them in my basket. Next, I walked to the heart of the woods and stopped in the center, listening to the sounds of the animals, birds, and insects, trying to pinpoint his location by the absence of their sounds. Finding no breaks in their chorus, I continued forward.
Where did you go? I thought. Had he ventured out past the boundaries of where we normally went? Suddenly disturbed, I turned and headed back towards my cave when the thought came to me. Last night, before we both had shared the stories of our families and the conversation took on a more serious tone, Talen had mentioned a patch of raspberry bushes he’d discovered just beyond the right entrance to the woods. In my heart, I knew that was where he had gone. Before his berry picking, he would have returned home to collect his basket and his knife. My body relaxed knowing that my friend's stomach was the culprit for his absence and the cause of my worry. With that in mind, I set out along the trail that connected our homes. The walk was short, skirting the edge of the forest and stretched across a great, wide open green field that was filled with multi-colored flowers that filled the air with its sweet, perfume. I loved this walk. The peace and the tranquility of the field reminded me of the hilltop sanctuary back home.
As I made my way through the tall grass that tickled the bare skin of my legs, my eyes took in the beauty of the rich, sunny day. The birds had come back from their wintery absence and swooped down, disappearing into the tall meadow and then suddenly soaring back up, racing towards an unknown destination in the sky. A lone fox darted in and out, frolicking playfully, enjoying the warmth of the sun. A herd of deer stood feasting off to my left, the lone buck kept a watchful eye while the does and the young ate undisturbed. I drew a deep breath into my lungs, grateful that the storm from last night hadn’t left a bitterness to the wind. Instead, it had cast away the dark clouds and the oppressive gray hue, replacing them with cloudless, blue skies and the gentle caress of the wind.
The Island of Mists Page 17
