This time would be different, I said to her across the chasm. We would rebuild our relationship, watch it prosper, and grow without the stain of jealousy or deception to pollute it. Ravene and I would have something stronger, something far more honest and truer than we did before. After all, we weren’t girls anymore. We were women now. She had gone on to grow, to change, and evolve into a better version of herself, just as I had. As clear as Leena and Ravene were, I could not see my mother or Eweln. Not being able to sense them curdled my stomach. Were they hiding from me? Was my mother intentionally hiding herself, just as she did whenever things became too emotional for her? Or was this her way of punishing me because she still held a grudge and blocked herself from my sight? And Eweln? Why was she not with them? Her face was the first that I expected to see but surprisingly, it was not there. The boatmen caught my attention as he motioned that we were about to land. The gesture shattered my train of thought. I would find out soon enough, I told myself. I just had to wait a little longer to see.
************
Aunt Leena and Ravene stood together at the edge of the water, clinging to one another. My heart jumped as I eagerly waved at them. The two stood side by side, clapping, laughing, and excited that I was home. There were others that stood in the distance behind them, unmoving as they watched closely. It wasn’t until the boat had stopped that I could see the tears in their eyes, as well as the tracks of fallen ones that wet their faces. Aunt Leena ran full speed towards me. Her loving arms encircled me as she pulled me close and whispered blessings to the Goddess in my ear. She kissed my cheek, stroked my hair from out of my face and touched my nose with hers, just as she had done when I was a child.
“My dear Yvaine! You’ve come back to us!” She cried joyously, holding me so tightly that it was hard to breathe. “Oh, Blessed Goddess, thank you!” She gave me another welcoming squeeze before letting me go. Leena stepped back to allow Ravene her chance to greet me. Ravene came forward hesitantly. I saw the apprehension in her eyes, but I opened my arms and welcomed her to me. We clung to one another, sobbing against each other’s shoulders. I did not want to let her go. A hole that I had carried within me was filled now that we were reunited once again. Ravene and I were sisters again. As we laughed and cried, we voiced our regrets, declared our apologies, and vowed that the future would be different.
“Welcome home, Sister,” Ravene whispered in my ear as she gripped me tightly to her, neither of us wanting to let go. “I can’t find the words to say how much I have missed you. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Ravene. I have missed you more than you will ever know.” I whispered back, my eyes closed tight as I made a memory of this moment. It was a memory that I would carry for the rest of my life. Ravene reluctantly let me go and I stumbled unexpectedly.
“Yvaine? What’s the matter?” Her ever-watchful eyes went straight to my weakness. “Yvaine! What happened to you?” Ravene shouted in horror, pointing at my damaged knee.
“What is this?” Aunt Leena dropped to her knees to examine me. “This is an arrow shot, Yvaine. How did this happen?” She demanded as her fingers fumbled with the bandage that was secured around my knee. I hissed as she probed the raw painful wound without hesitation. “How were you able to walk like this?” She glanced up with a mixture of concern and amazement. “The pain must have been awful.”
“It wasn’t easy. I had to use a branch as a crutch. And, I had to stop a lot.” I held out my walking stick. “It slowed me down but didn’t stop me from returning,” I added, feeling her delicate fingers on the sensitive skin.
“Hmmph,” She snorted and then clucked her tongue at me. “Ravene, take her other arm and help me get her home,” Leena ordered and Ravene immediately obeyed. “You’re with us now. Let’s get some food into you and home where I can check out that wound. A flash of lightning lit up the darkening sky and a thunderclap shook the earth under our feet as we went to our family home.
************
The curved path that led up to my old home was just as I remembered it. Long and winding and still lined with wild grasses and herbs. We approached the entrance and pushed the wooden door back. With their help, I took the first step inside in over a decade. What hit me first was the familiar, pungent, earthy fragrance of dried herbs. The same ones that my aunt used in her food making, as well as her crafted essences that went into wines and flavored the waters that we drank. The scent instantly brought me back to my childhood, standing beside her, watching her hands busily grind the ingredients with a large pestle and mortar, and how she could take the leanest of scraps and turn them into a sumptuous fare. A fire burned in the hearth, warming the air that had chilled significantly on our way back home. Thunder rolled in the near distance, reminding us of the impending storm. A table and chairs sat near the hearth, laden with food and drink. Seeing them made my mouth water. I dropped my belongings and with Ravene’s help, moved straight to the table.
Leena washed, treated, and dressed my wound while I rested and sipped on a honey-sweetened elixir of bilberry juice, garlic, ginger, echinacea, clove, and oregano. The tonic prevented infection and Aunt Leena ordered me to drink it until it was gone. I winced as she worked, sucking my breath through my teeth whenever she touched a particularly tender spot, or her hand got heavy. Ravene held my hand through it all, refusing to let go, afraid that I’d disappear.
“You drink all of that!” Aunt Leena warned as I tried to set the cup aside. “That will reduce the inflammation in this knee and will stabilize the destroyed muscles, tendons, and bits of cartilage while they heal.” Once I was properly seen to, the three of us supped on the feast that Leena’s handmaiden had put together for us. Our dinner consisted of roasted root vegetables, fresh-picked figs, wild grapes, and a spread of sweetened, ground berries smeared over chunks of piping hot bread. There were several kinds of flavored wines that Aunt Leena refused to allow me to sample, insisting that I drink only the bilberry juice mixture or water flavored with mint. This was the kind of fare that I had longed for. It was the kind of meal that was reminiscent of home. I ate voraciously. With each bite, I craved more and more and could not seem to get full, no matter how much I ate.
“My dear, I don’t remember you having this kind of appetite before. You eat far more than you once did. The outside world has changed you.” My aunt sat across from me and watched me shove the last of the roasted root vegetables into my mouth. She studied me quietly with a knowing eye but said nothing.
For the rest of the meal, we ate, drank, and reminisced. We talked about from before and what had happened since I had walked away from the island. Ravene became an educator to the youth of our society. She was instrumental in teaching them our history, how to read and write, and advising her students as they found their roles within our society. Her nurturing reputation for was widespread. With great sorrow, they told me that Reena had died several years ago from the wasting sickness. Ravene became emotional, unable to speak as Leena spoke of Mothers long battle. Reena suffered a long, exhaustive, and brutal fight against cancer. By the end of her life, she had whittled down to near bone. Leena tended to her until her last breath, putting all the animosity and resentment aside to make Reena’s last moments peaceful. With her passing, Ravene was expected to be High Priestess and when asked, she adamantly refused.
“I want no part of it,” She told the High Council adamantly, resolute in her decision and unable to be persuaded otherwise. With Ravene’s refusal, Aunt Leena ascended to High Priestess. The People cheered and celebrated the decision, all saying it was long overdue and well-deserved. Our society revered her competent skill, her vast knowledge, and saw her as a true voice of the people. Aunt Leena was a High Priestess who put the people first and never thought of herself.
“The people love her. Watching them interact with her is far different than it was with Mother.” Ravene said and suddenly fell silent, no doubt witnessing visions that were too painful to voice. Aunt Leena affectionately squeezed Ravene’s ha
nd, comforting her and reassuring her that everything was all right. The gesture left me with no doubt that Aunt Leena led with wisdom and grace. As we sat together, they caught me up on the other comings and goings of the Island. They listed off the names of those that had been born, the names of those that had died, as well as the ones that had gotten married, separated, remarried, and chose to live independently. Life had gone on just as it had before, and I found that comforting. One question plagued me though. A question that neither would bring up. The one fact that haunted me was the fact that the one person they wouldn’t mention was Cal.
“Did they ever find his body?” I asked, confronting the issue after both of them tried to avoid it. They were suddenly struck mute. I glanced at Ravene who turned her head and averted her eyes.
“We never found his body,” My aunt answered finally after I had started to grow impatient. “It is believed that the wild boars consumed his remains.” She added. In my mind’s eye, I could see the only evil that this island had known. I could see the dark brown head lying motionless in the pool of blood where I had left it. Cal was dead, I told myself. The fact that his body was never located only amplified the sudden renewed sensation of the fear that I had carried since the day I had been violated. “You are safe, dear one. He cannot hurt you again.” My aunt took my hand, sensing my reservations, and squeezed it reassuringly. Ravene continued to look away and I surprised myself by reaching out and taking her hand.
“I understand now,” I told her, gripping her firmly which made her turn her head and look me in the eye. “I know what happened. I know what Mother did. I know that you were just a pawn in her game, and I forgive you. I don’t blame you for what she did. I don’t want you blaming yourself either.” I read her thoughts and watched as her face as it crumpled with regret. Ravene blamed herself for my leaving. I saw the heavy burden that she carried, certain that if Reena hadn’t changed events to suit her desires, all of this might have been avoided. Then again, it might have not. I realized that if Cal had still continued with his wicked plan, Ravene wouldn’t have survived the trauma or the consequences. Reena had unknowingly spared her from a tragic fate. Glancing at my sister, I sensed that she knew it too. Ravene trembled as she tried to compose herself. She squeezed my hand back and then, after further reassurance, rejoined our conversation.
For several hours we three sat at my aunt’s hearth. None of us noticed that the storm that had blown in now raged outside, brightening the sky with violent bolts of lightning and poured rain that soaked the landscape. My eyes had grown heavy from lack of sleep and awakened the pain in my knee. I let out a great yawn despite trying to stifle it.
“I think we should all get to bed.” Our aunt said gently, seeing the fatigue and exhaustion on my face despite my attempts to hide it.
“Since the rain has evened out, I am going to walk home. Dennen and the children will be asleep by now, but I want to see them before I lay down myself.” My eyes widened as I turned towards Ravene.
“You’re married with children?” I asked, suddenly delighted that she should have such beautiful blessings in her life. To my surprise, my sister married Canwyn’s older brother, Dennen, and had children with him. A smile stretched across my face to see her so contentedly happy. Her life was rich and fulfilling and it shone on every inch of her face.
“Aye,” She said. “Dennen and I took were married the year after you left. We were the Hunter and Huntress during the Spring Rites. We married just as my belly started to grow.” She said and paused. Seeing that I did not react negatively, continued. “Desten, our son, was born of the Rites and our daughter, Runa, will reach her first year this fall.” Ravene’s life gave her pride and purpose. It was a life that she deserved, one of love, joy, and trust. I saw the changes it had made in her and with those changes, I saw glimpses of Reena, as she should have been. I kissed her cheek and hugged Ravene goodbye. She left with a promise that I would meet my niece and nephew soon. Once Ravene was gone, Aunt Leena and I were alone. She shut the door and moved to stand beside me. Her hand reached out and brushed the hair back from my face. Gently pulling me to my feet, my aunt tucked her arm in mine and smiled merrily.
“I had Danae put this together not more than a week ago,” She explained as she escorted me to a room and showed me a fresh, soft-looking bed that called my name. “I’ve given you my room. I had a feeling that you were coming back.” She added. “I saw it in a vision when I was at the Scrying Well.” She pointed to a stack of fresh clothes that had been laid out, as well as a bowl of washing water. “What I didn’t see was that you would come back wounded and carrying a child.” Her blunt words stunned me, but her reassuring smile told me that everything would be fine.
“How did you know?” I asked, staring open-mouthed, wide-eyed, and taken aback that she had guessed my secret.
“You smell different,” Aunt Leena smiled and gently touched my face. “You smell like I did when I was pregnant.” It was the only time Aunt Leena spoke about the child she lost on the same night that I was born.
“I never thought I would have a child,” I told her as my hand went instinctively to my stomach as to reassure myself of its presence. My aunt’s face brightened with wonder. Her cheeks flushed with happiness.
“You are truly blessed, Yvaine,” She touched my cheek as her eyes radiated the extent of her joy. “There are no words to describe how grateful I am that you’ve come home, but you need your rest.” She kissed my forehead before she left me alone.
I washed and dressed in the clean clothes that had been left for me. Wearing them was both strange and comforting. I climbed into bed and sighed, finding it warmed by the hot water bladders that my aunt’s assistants had placed between the layers for me. I snuggled in, wrapped in their softness. At last, I was safe, and I was finally comfortable. The support from the bed eased the pain throbbing in both my back and my legs. I lay listening to the sounds of this world. The sounds of insects singing, the wind rustling through the trees, shaking the low hanging moss across the surface of the water, and the hoots and coos of the night birds. How strange it all sounded. I thought it peculiar what was once so familiar was now so odd. My mind raced with a series of thoughts. What about my sisters on the Sacred Island? If I asked, would I be permitted to go back to see Ibira and the other acolytes and ask them about my grandmother? Once my leg was healed, I vowed to climb to the top of the mountain where I used to sit peacefully and look out over our world, watching as the people went about their daily lives. From that point, you could see all the birds that graced the skies, floating and falling, some soaring past at great speeds while others flew along methodically, entirely in no hurry to go anywhere. That was my favorite place when I was growing up. The Hilltop was where I could go to clear my thoughts. I could go there to gather my wits about me and most of all, it’s where I could hear the voice of the Goddess loud and clear, with mistakes made on what she said or how she thought best to guide me. I was home, I told myself, realizing so many things that I had missed during my long absence.
Instead of sleeping, my thoughts drifted to Ralf. My throat tightened as I envisioned his face and my heart cried out for him. He was gone and that I would not see him again. A painful, dull ache formed where I had once carried the happiness that he gave me. I missed the feel of his skin under my fingertips, the way that his eyes would gaze into mine, and especially how the simplest gesture would send me into hysterical fits of laughter. My soul ached. The pain was of a depth that I never knew existed. A part of me died with him. Ralf brought me back from the deepest, darkest depths that Cal had taken me to. Ralf showed me that I could trust a man with the most intimate parts of myself. That there was no danger while lying in the protection of his arms. Ralf loved me and wanted to share his life with me, but he had been taken away by the cruelty of man. All that remained of him was the child I carried. My hand rested where the life that we created was growing inside of me. One day, when the child was old enough, I would tell them of their father.
They would hear the stories of the brave, strong, towering warrior and how he would have loved them. Sleep came to me that night while dreams of my beloved were still in my head.
************
When my eyes finally opened after the long rest, my aunt was there waiting for me. “Good morning my beloved. It’s about time you woke up. It’s been two days.” She bent down and kissed my forehead. She pushed my hair back from my face and helped me up to a sitting position. She handed me a cup of steaming pungent tea and ordered me to drink it. “It will help the child grow,” She motioned toward my stomach. “And I checked and redressed your leg while you were sleeping. The bilberry elixir is working. There is no sign of infection and it is healing cleanly.”
“Two days, you say?” I sipped the tea, tasting the zesty, coolness of peppermint and the sweet, apple-flavor of chamomile. The combination was not palatable, and I found myself starting to feel sick to my stomach.
“The peppermint helps the nausea,” Aunt Leena urged, pushing the cup towards me as I tried to set it down. “And the chamomile is to help keep you calm. Medicine isn’t supposed to taste good, remember? And I don’t want you getting overly agitated just in case the Island is too much at first.” I drank the rest of it slowly, allowing myself to relax while the world moved on around me. “Have you decided what you are going to do today?” Leena said after a long silence.
The Island of Mists Page 35
