by S. J. Smith
"Nope, not until Friday. We have the same study period."
"Which is tomorrow. Alright... Well between now and then, let's see just how much you can avoid him."
Before they had a chance to go into any depth of how they would achieve this feat, the first bell rang, forcing them to head off to their separate homeroom classes.
While the other kids in the room scrambled to finish homework or even grab another twenty minutes of sleep, Alexis was focused on her phone, flicking between her schedule and Seth's. She figured, if she could remember where he would be heading each period, she'd be able to avoid him. At least she knew that today Brennan was in the trade centre all day. While the tradies spent most of their class time in the large building at the back of the school, they did come out and mingle with the rest of the school population for certain classes and breaks.
It wasn't that she didn't want to see Brennan, he was one of her best friends. She just knew that he'd figure out something was wrong. Avoiding him and Seth would also lead to this realisation, but at least if she was far away from them, then he couldn't question her about it and possibly figure out the truth. As adamant as she had been the previous night about not caring who found out the truth, she knew deep down that it was just easier that the secret didn’t get out.
By the time Alexis was heading for first period she had a decent mental map of where the two boys were heading right now, where they'd be going for the rest of the day, and what were the best routes to take to get to her classes in relation to that. How she was keeping this all straight without a drop of caffeine in her system was a miracle in and of itself.
On the way to second period, Jess suddenly pulled up next to Alexis, looped their arms together and wordlessly redirected them to the nearest toilet.
"If you wanted someone to go with you to bathroom all you had to do was ask," Alexis pointed out confused, but not unused to Jess sometimes forgetting to speak certain thoughts out loud. Jess didn't speak or stop pulling her along until they'd barged through the doors to the toilets and stood in front of the sinks.
"Girl, what is going on with you today? You look like crap."
Alexis felt her face scrunch up in confusion at Jess' words and turned to look in the mirror hanging over the closest sink. During first period she'd actually managed to forget that she looked worse than she felt. "Oh, yeah."
Rolling her eyes at her friend's uncharacteristic air headedness, Jess dumped her books on the countertop and pulled a handful of cosmetics from her pencil case. The other girls in the room spared them passing glances, but since they were from different years, none of them stopped to question what was wrong.
"Fix yourself up, and while you're at it, maybe spill about what's got you looking like you haven't slept for three weeks," Jess said, passing Alexis the various beauty products and started fixing her own hair in the mirror.
When Alexis didn't immediately start, Jess glared at her through the mirror. "Tick tock, we've got about five more minutes before Miss Hileman gets to class, and it would be a good idea if we were there in four."
Not wasting another second, Alexis uncapped the concealer and dapped it around her face, particularly under her eyes. A few swipes of mascara and a readjustment of her hair from the askew ponytail into a messy bun had Alexis looking worlds better. It was so like Jess to not let a friend wander around all day looking like something the cat dragged in. All of that Seth stuff aside, Jess truly was a good friend.
Yes, it was obvious that part of the reason she didn't want Seth and Alexis together was her own craving for Seth's attention, but from their numerous conversations about it, Jess also only wanted what was good for her friend, and she knew that Seth wasn't it.
Regardless, Alexis hated keeping such a big secret from Jess. They'd been friends for most of their school lives, and it just didn't feel right.
"Okay, I know that there's something to tell, but right now we have to get to class. Don't think you're off the hook though." Jess returned the cosmetics Alexis had used to the pencil case. They took one final look at the counter top to make sure they'd grabbed all their things and hurried from the room. Their class was just around the corner so it took them all of ten seconds to leave the toilets and blend in with the group of students streaming into the classroom. All the while Alexis marvelled to herself how she managed to get through that whole interaction without actually saying more than a few words.
◆◆◆
During class Alexis made it clear to Jess that while there was something to tell, and that she would definitely be telling soon, today was not the day.
When they parted ways at the end of class, Jess reassured her that everything would work out. For years they had always told each other everything, even being sworn to secrecy by others didn't stop them. For Alexis to not immediately spill the beans, it had to be bigger than anything they'd ever dealt with before.
Alexis was still trying to figure out what the right thing to do was. Jess was one of her oldest and best friends. It was her duty to tell her friend when a guy had a thing for her. But she and Seth had promised they wouldn't tell anyone about what they were doing. But who did she have more loyalty towards? Jess obviously.
She supposed that she could just tell Jess about Seth's feelings for her and not divulge anything about their secret friends with benefits relationship. She knew that Seth wouldn't tell anyone. He'd said it before, people finding out would ruin friendships, and while he hadn't mentioned his greatest fear, she knew that Jess would never consider dating him after she found out about their past. She tried to ignore how that thought gave her some small relief.
For the rest of the day Alexis tried to forget about the secrets she was carrying around and focused solely on avoiding Seth and Brennan. She did so well at avoiding them that halfway through lunch she got a text from Brennan asking if she was actually at school. Seth hadn't messaged her again, so either he'd seen her, or he didn't care that she supposedly hadn't shown up that day. She told Brennan that she was spending her breaks working on a group assignment with some classmates, claiming she didn't want to fall behind. Meanwhile she and Em had snuck their food into a study room at the back of the library and were talking about everything but Seth.
One topic of particular significance was who Alexis' father was going to hire as his new head of security. Their previous one had disappeared a few weeks ago and Anthony Angelo was not one to take risks. A crew had been sent out to find him, but when their search had been fruitless, Tony had begun his own search for a new guy. Since Emilia's father was her father's consigliere, Tony's most trusted advisor, it wasn't unusual for Em to know things. Her dad did a lot of research and always had his ear to the ground. He prided himself on how thorough he was.
Emilia took after her dad like that. She was an amazing listener and she strived to give good sound advice to her friends, after sympathising and joking about the many ways they could inflict pain on whoever it was that was causing trouble. Whenever the two friends talked about Alexis taking over the Family business from her father, Emilia was always there as well, taking over from her father as Alexis' consigliere.
As it was, Em was sharing about how her dad had set up 'interviews' with three guys over the coming weeks. One of the 'interviews' was simply a courtesy, the son of one of the capos wanting to step up. Em didn't think that this one stood much of a chance. He was a competent enough guy, but they were looking for someone more experienced, someone who had proved their unwavering loyalty to the Family. The second candidate sounded far more promising.
"So, apparently this guy has two kids. They recently moved up here from down south, and he's been working in the private security and tech fields since he was eighteen so he knows the ins and outs of the old and the new. He's been an associate of the family since he was twenty-three. Um, what else, what else... oh um, one of his kids is meant to be about our age. I didn't get an exact date of birth, but from what I overheard, they're in their final years of high school. Not ye
t sure of where they go. I don't think it came up in the part of the conversation that I overheard."
"Well that's all very interesting, but at the same time insanely unhelpful. Okay so we've covered nepotism and the working dad, who's the third one?"
"The third one our dads are interviewing for a laugh."
"A laugh?"
"Yeah, so they reckon that this third guy is actually a cop. It has not yet been confirmed, but there are very strong suspicions."
"Wait, so if he's a cop then why are they even bothering with the interview?"
"I forget that you aren't as in the loop as people would think you are."
"Yeah well, dad likes to keep me in the dark. Thinks it'll keep me from joining the family business. Whatever keeps him happy and in denial." Alexis chuckled to herself, remembering how annoyed her dad would get whenever she mentioned her desire to join the Family when she was older.
He was always so concerned with keeping her separate from that life. She remembered one argument they had where she questioned why he even bothered having kids if he didn't plan on having an heir. It was a very dramatic stand for her to take at the time, but she'd been watching a lot of period shows.
"Honestly, I don't think anything would make my dad happier than me following in his footsteps. Though to be fair, being the consigliere is considered to be a lot less dangerous than being the head honcho mafioso."
Alexis rolled her eyes at her friend, a smile on her face. Her dad could live his life swimming in a sea of denial if he wanted to, but she knew where she was headed. There would come a point when she would reach a crossroad, she would have the choice of washing her hands of everything that came with the last name Angelo, or she could embrace it. All of it.
Before Em had a chance to continue the discussion, the bell rang, signalling the end of the lunch break. The two girls gathered up their empty food wrappers and the books they'd used to hide their food with and left the library.
Only two more periods and then Alexis was home free. Or so she thought. Coming out of her sixth period English Lit class, she didn't see Seth until it was too late. He was leaning against a wooden pole across from the classroom door. Time to face the music.
Putting on her most convincing fake smile, Alexis approached the boy she'd been trying and failing to get over. "Hey Seth, long time no see, how's your day been?" Instead of replying, Seth corralled her away from the bustle of students and behind the building. Alexis wondered how many déjà vu moments she would have before the year was over.
"Stop avoiding me."
"Excuse you?" she urged herself to keep eye contact without it being obvious that she was forcing it. "What are you talking about? I haven't been avoiding you."
"Okay, then what do you call not being around all day?"
She knew that he would notice her absence eventually. Even if he didn't actually care about whether or not she was mad at him, he cared about keeping up the appearance of them being friends.
If people caught on that there was something wrong between them, they'd start to wonder why, and then they might figure out that they were more than just friends. "Well, I call that being in class, and I was working on some group assignments at lunch. I thought Brennan would've told you."
"Alexis, knock it off. You can lie to Brennan all you want, but I know that you're still mad at me and you need to get over it. I'm sorry about yesterday, I crossed the line. I wasn't lying when I said I missed you. We had fun together."
Alexis couldn't stop the unamused expression that came over her face.
"No! Not like that. Well yeah, that was pretty fun, but I mean when we weren't doing that. When we were just hanging out, the talking and the joking around, it was fun."
She wished that she could tell him how wrong he was, but she would've just been lying. What he was talking about, the talking and joking around, that was her favourite part of when they were together. Sometimes that was when he was at his sweetest, they'd be sitting in his car and he'd wrap his arm around her, her head would rest on his shoulder and he'd drop a kiss on the top of her hair. They'd just sit there and talk about everything from their friends to shows and movies, until it was time to go home.
Seth looked down at the girl he'd developed such a complicated relationship with. Once upon a time he had considered a relationship with her. He'd even started flirting with the her, hoping that maybe she liked him back and all their joking and flirting wasn't just her being friendly.
Then Brennan had confessed how he felt about her, and Seth knew that he could never publicly pursue a relationship, not unless he wanted to risk losing his best friend.
So instead he'd risked his friendship with Alexis and proposed the friends with benefits relationship that they now have. Had. They had a relationship until he fucked it up.
And now he was paying the price - their friendship. "Please Lex, I miss you."
He was breaking her walls down, brick by brick. He could see it in her eyes. He'd seen the hurt and apprehension that flashed in her eyes when she first saw him as she walked out of class. She'd put up the mask pretty quickly, but he'd spent a lot of time watching her when she didn't think anyone was. Now, he could see the hesitation fading away, but the hurt was still there. Reaching out, Seth ran his hand down her arm, trying to give her some comfort. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. When her eyes opened up again they were void of all emotion, but she smiled brightly at him.
"You're right, we did have fun."
Seth took her books from her and put their stuff on top of a locker. Then he stepped toward her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. When Alexis had secured hers around his waist, he tightened his grip on her.
She was so confused, so conflicted, and so very angry with herself, but she couldn't stay mad at him, no matter how set in stone she was about her decision.
For now, she enjoyed being in his embrace and the comfort it brought.
Chapter 4
When Alexis got home that afternoon she'd contemplated calling Em and telling her what had happened with Seth, but she knew that the reaction she'd get wouldn't be a good one and for good reason. So she decided to keep it to herself. This lasted until sixth period Friday afternoon. Seth for some reason decided to walk Alexis to her human biology class despite the fact that his next class was in the other direction. As soon as they got near the classroom, Em zeroed in on them, and the look on her face spoke volumes about how unimpressed she was. Once Seth had left, Em approached her friend.
"Really? How long did you actually manage to stay mad at him for this time? Three hours? Four?"
"I know, I suck at holding a grudge. He caught me after last period yesterday. Wouldn't let me leave until I heard him out."
"Mmhm, that's fine. I've already told you my feelings on the matter. So long as you know what you're doing."
There was something in Emilia's tone that suggested she knew Alexis had no idea what she was doing. There was no point getting upset at the insinuation, Em was right.
Yesterday she'd been certain about ignoring Seth's messages and avoiding him at least until next Monday. Then he came and apologised and looked all sincere and she changed her mind. For the sake of self-preservation she needed to massacre her feelings for Seth.
"I swear, we're just friends now. Nothing else. I'm not going there again."
"I'm not the one you have to convince."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, Seth. You told him that you were done and he tried to get you to meet him at school."
"You say that like there were going to be virgin sacrifices involved."
"Would there have been virgins around to sacrifice?"
While Emilia hadn't intended for her words to come across as snarky, they came out at that way and Alexis' eyes narrowed ever so slightly. The teacher opened the classroom door and ushered everyone inside, saving Emilia from putting her other foot in her mouth. She'd never judged her friend for doing what she wanted and she wasn't
going to start now. It was just this whole friends with benefits thing worried Em. Alexis wasn't the kind of girl who could have a no strings attached kind of relationship.
Alexis sidled up next to Em once they were inside the classroom. "We didn't- I mean I haven't-"
"Come on in everyone. Look at the whiteboard, find your seat, sit in it. Thanks to the term starting in the middle of the week, this class is already a lesson behind." Miss Leschenelle was a good teacher, if not a little intense at times. She was also very strict and wouldn't allow them all to stand around forever. Em gave Alexis' forearm a squeeze, letting her oldest friend know that she'd heard her and she was sorry. Alexis gave her a small smile and they shuffled closer to the whiteboard to find their assigned seats.
