He smiled gently and walked down the steps, opening Teddy’s door first. I unclicked his seatbelt and my brother jumped out of the car and hugged Sundance. “Sunny!”
“Hey, buddy, how are you?”
“Pinball.”
“You bet. Let me say hi to your sister, okay? Then we’ll play pinball.”
“It’s okay. We can go in.” I didn’t think I could handle Sundance paying me any attention, so I grabbed my purse and got out of the car.
Teddy rushed inside, Sundance following. I made my way a little slower, my stomach roiling the closer I got to the front door. By the time I reached it, I didn’t think I could actually step over the threshold.
“Jesus,” Sundance whispered, and I looked up at him. “Baby, you’re shaking.”
“I’m okay,” I lied.
“I’m gonna wrap my arms around you, okay?”
I shook my head. “Don’t.”
“You’re gonna freeze if you don’t come inside.”
“I’m not cold.”
“Jesus Christ, are you shakin’ because you’re scared?”
I swallowed. “Probably.”
He frowned, reaching out to stroke my cheek, but I reared back like he was going to hit me.
“Fuck me,” he breathed out. “Baby, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
“I know.”
“Well, you need to tell your body that.”
I raised a hand and took a deep breath. “Just give me a second.”
“I’m havin’ a hard time not holding you, Wyatt.”
I was having a hard time not letting him, but I wasn’t about to admit that.
“I’m okay.” I took a deep breath and forced myself to take a step inside.
His hand settled on my lower back and it made me want to crawl onto his lap and fall asleep. I hadn’t had much in weeks and I suddenly felt safe again.
I needed to shut this down. I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Please don’t touch me,” I begged.
He removed his hand and I took another deep breath. We walked side-by-side into the great room and I held my purse to my chest like it was armor. Teddy was already at the pinball machine, Orion standing with him, encouraging him as he played.
I didn’t see Raquel, which bummed me out. I was in desperate need of a friendly face right now.
“Hey, Wyatt.”
I turned at the sound of my name and saw Aero walking toward me, a beer in his hand.
“Why the fuck do you look like you just saw a ghost?” he asked.
“Aero,” Sundance warned.
“I’m okay,” I rushed to say, and Aero studied me for a few tense seconds.
“You need a drink. Let me get you a drink,” he said, and headed toward the bar, returning with a bottle of Macallan and a glass already half full.
“I’m driving,” I said.
“Do you want me to put the bottle back?” Aero asked, and I gulped the glass then held it out again.
“One more.”
He grinned and filled the glass again before walking away. This one, I forced myself to nurse even though I desperately wanted to finish it.
“You wanna talk?” Sundance asked.
I shook my head.
“What happened with Teddy?” he asked.
I sighed and took a sip of the whisky. “He apparently wanted to see you.”
“Yeah, I get that, but what’s goin’ on with him and his meds?”
“They’re losing effectiveness, obviously.”
“Have you tried pot? Or CBD.”
“I’m not having my brother smoke a dooby in his long-term care house.”
Sundance chuckled. “There are edibles, Dimples. Or oil, or all manner of options outside of ‘doobies.’”
I sighed. “I haven’t looked into it, to be honest.”
“You need to talk to Raquel. She’s done a shit-ton of research on cannabis and treating adults with special needs.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “She and Orion developed a strain that might help your brother.”
I bit my lip. “I’ll think about it.”
“You and Aero buddies now?”
“I don’t think we can go that far, no.”
“You gonna fill me in?”
I frowned. “On?”
“What happened between the two of you.”
“Nothing happened,” I countered. “He sought me out at work and apologized for… well, everything.”
“What exactly did he apologize for?”
“I’m not going to tell you that,” I said. “It’s between him and me.”
Sundance crossed his arms with a scowl. “Don’t like that, Dimples.”
“And I don’t like that you sent Letti’s boyfriend to watch me.”
“What?”
I rolled my eyes. “I recognized him when I walked into Nocturn. I just couldn’t remember his name. Pinecone or something.”
“Snowcone,” Sundance provided. “He was there?”
“Like you don’t know.”
He grunted and I took another sip of my drink.
We stood in the middle of the great room, watching my brother play pinball… well, until Teddy was done with that and moving toward a side glass sliding door.
“What the heck?” I breathed out.
“Our bikes are parked out there,” Sundance explained, already rushing to catch up with my brother.
“Crap,” I breathed out and followed, setting my glass on a table by the wall as I passed.
Arriving outside, I found Orion helping Teddy sit on a bike close to the door.
“Riot. I called shotgun!” Teddy yelled, grinning from ear to ear as he held the handlebars. “Vroom, vroom.”
“Yeah, honey, that’s right,” I said, then turned to Sundance. “He calls shotgun when he wants the best seat.”
Sundance smiled.
I glanced back at Teddy. “Is he going to break it?”
Sundance shook his head. “He’s fine, baby. Orion’s got him.”
“He looks so happy.”
“Wish he could ride.”
“Me too.” I sighed. “It’s just not safe.”
Sundance crossed his arms and we continued to watch Teddy bask in the glory of Orion’s attention. God, these people were so fucking confusing. They were supposed to be degenerate criminals, and maybe they were, but so far, I’d seen nothing but kindness from them. Not counting the incident with Sundance and Aero a few weeks ago, of course, but even that was a contradiction. They’d both apologized for jumping to conclusions and I knew they’d learned from the experience.
I was coming to realize I’d fallen in love with Sundance, but my head was warring with my heart, and quite frankly, it was giving me an ulcer.
“I need to use the restroom,” I said.
“Down the hall, second door on the left,” Sundance said. “You okay?”
I nodded and made my escape, slipping into the surprisingly clean bathroom and promptly bursting into tears. I made sure the door was locked, then let myself cry for a few minutes before trying to pull myself together enough to face the world again.
It took a little longer than I expected, but I managed to get myself to a place I felt I’d be able to fake disinterest. I took a deep breath and pulled open the door finding Sundance leaning against the opposite wall. His eyes came to me and I pushed the door closed again, dropping my head to the wood. A knock sounded and I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Dimples, open the door,” he called.
“Just a minute.”
“Baby, open the door and tell me why you’re crying.”
“I’m not,” I lied.
“I’m coming in,” he warned, and I let out a frustrated groan.
“Do not come in here.”
“Then, open the door.”
I pulled it open and frowned up at him. “What do you want, Sundance?”
“Just wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m good.”
“Yes,” I lied.
“Baby,” he breathed out as he slid his hand to my neck and tugged me forward.
“I can’t,” I rasped, his touch both comforting and heartbreaking. “I need to check on Teddy.”
“He’s good,” he insisted, sliding his hand into my hair. “I got you.”
I lost my resolve again. Well, at least any that I’d tried to tell myself I had left. Bursting into tears again, I buried my face in his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.
Little known fact about me, I’m a crier. It’s my Achilles heel and I hate it, but it is what it is. I cry at Hallmark commercials, I cry at the Sarah McLachlan save the animal commercials, and now, apparently, I cry when the object of my unhealthy desire wraps his arms around me.
“Come with me, baby, we’ll go somewhere more private,” Sundance said, guiding me out of the bathroom and down the hallway.
* * *
Sundance
My heart broke when Wyatt admitted she was terrified to walk inside my club, but it shattered the second she’d begged me not to touch her. I knew I’d hurt her, but I hadn’t realized I’d wounded her that deeply.
Jesus, I really was an asshole. Until right now, I hadn’t cared. Actually, I still didn’t give a shit, so long as it wasn’t Wyatt who thought it. I had some serious makin’ up to do, I just hoped to God she’d let me do it.
I also needed to figure out what the fuck Snowcone was doing at Nocturn. He’d supposedly been at some bitch’s place out in Colorado Springs which was why he couldn’t accompany Wrath on a run to Denver.
I guided Wyatt into the kids’ playroom, empty due to the fact it wasn’t a family night, and sat in one of the oversized recliners, pulling her onto my lap.
She burrowed into me, still crying as I wrapped my arms tighter around her and kissed her temple. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” I whispered.
“You promised you wouldn’t break me,” she accused.
“I know. I fucked up. You tell me what you need me to do and I’ll make it up to you.”
“There’s nothing you can do.”
“You say that now, but I’ll change your mind.”
“I doubt it,” she sniffed, then yawned. “I’m so tired.”
“Why are you so tired, baby?”
She yawned again, not answering my question. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, Dimples, just sit here and relax.”
“’K.” She buried her face in my neck and kissed my pulse. “You smell good.”
“So do you.”
She wiggled her ass and I forced myself to keep my dick down.
“I should check on Teddy,” she whispered.
“Hold on.” I jostled her slightly and pulled my phone out of my pocket firing off a text to Ori. He responded immediately giving me the all-clear. “Teddy’s good, sweetheart. You don’t have to worry.”
She slid her hand up my chest and fisted my shirt in her palm and I glanced down at her. Her eyes were closed, and she was making little mewling noises as she shifted again, releasing her fist and moving her arm to my waist.
I gave her a gentle squeeze and realized pretty quickly she’d fallen asleep. Since there was no way in hell I was going to wake her, I texted Orion to let him know where we were, then gently rocked the recliner, kissing her forehead as I held her close.
“Sunny?” she whispered an hour later.
“Yeah, baby?” Jesus, she sounded so sad.
“I should go.”
“You should sleep,” I countered.
“I just did.”
She sat up and tried to push off my lap, but I held her tighter. “You not sleepin’, Wyatt? In general, I mean.”
“I’m fine.”
Only, I knew she wasn’t. She wouldn’t look at me when she said she was fine, not to mention, she had dark rings under her eyes.
“Teddy’s havin’ a blast with Orion, and you’re exhausted, so why don’t you just relax for a bit?” I suggested.
She finally looked at me, this time her expression was guarded, but I didn’t miss the sadness that lingered in her eyes. “I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
She shook her head, dropping her eyes to her hands.
“Baby, talk to me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
She sighed. “Will you just let me up, please?”
I lifted her chin and she met my eyes. “We’re not done here, sweetheart. I’ll let you escape for the moment, but we’re gonna talk about this soon.”
“We’ll see,” she whispered.
I tapped her chin, then let her climb off my lap. She didn’t even look back when she walked out the door.
Wyatt
MONDAY MORNING, I limped into the office, still exhausted to the marrow. I’d dragged Teddy out of the club Friday night, but not before Raquel intercepted me and gave me a bottle of her Razzle Dazzle CBD oil.
“Two drops under his tongue twice a day. It will help him sleep and feel calm.”
I stared at the label. “I don’t know…”
“I promise, it’s safe. Just try it for a week and see how he reacts.”
“I know CBD has no psychotropic affects, but what about medication interactions?” I asked.
“None.”
I sighed. “Okay, I’ll talk to his doctor.”
Raquel smiled and nodded. “Let me know how it goes.”
“I will,” I promised, then made my escape.
Justin hadn’t been at Meteor House when I’d dropped Teddy back, so I spoke with Wanda and asked her to give him the doses. She refused to do it until she spoke with Dr. Hilliard personally, but he gave the go-ahead to try, so I was going to give it a week.
Now, if I could just find something that would help me sleep.
This thought brought the memory of falling asleep on Sundance’s lap flooding into my mind, and I shivered as I fired up my computer.
God, I missed him, and I hadn’t realized just how much until I saw him standing on the porch when I took Teddy to visit.
It was evident to me now, and that night, that I was hopelessly in love with him, and there was nothing I could do about it. At least, not immediately. It would take time to get over him.
Good lord, everything was such a mess. This wasn’t supposed to be my life. My life was orderly. Peaceful. I’d worked hard to make it that way because I wanted my brother to always feel safe.
I always wanted to feel safe.
“You can’t go in there,” Calvin squeaked, and I glanced up to see Sundance storming toward my office.
I moved from behind my desk as quickly as I could, pulling open my door just as Sundance reached to push it open.
“It’s okay, Calvin,” I said, stepping aside for Sundance to walk inside, then closing the door behind us. “What do you need?”
“You’re not returning my calls or texts,” he accused, sitting in one of the chairs across from my desk.
“I’m pretty sure I said everything I needed to say on Friday night.”
He craned his head and smiled. “Have a seat, Dimples. We’re gonna hash this out once and for all.”
“This is my place of business, Thorne,” I hissed.
“So?”
“So, this is totally inappropriate.”
“Don’t give a shit,” he said, waving to my chair. “This won’t take long.”
“You are impossible,” I rasped, even as I took my seat.
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and stared at me. “Was Snowcone at Nocturn?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
I frowned. “Yes, why?”
“Was he with anyone?”
“I’m not answering one more question until you tell me what’s going on,” I warned.
He dragged his hands through his hair. “Whatever I tell you cannot leave this room.”
/> “I’m not in the habit of gossiping,” I said. “I’m pretty sure you know that by now.”
He studied me for a few tense seconds, then he shared, “A rival club is fuckin’ with us. There’s a possible coup happenin’ and we’re tryin’ to shut it down, but Sonja’s been fuckin’ with shit, and she seems to be one step ahead of me at every turn.” He sat back and shook his head. “It’s possible we have a mole, and I think that mole is Snowcone.”
I gasped. “Are you sure?”
“No. But I don’t like that he was at Nocturn on a night you were there. Aero was your backup outside the club. Inside, you were covered by a couple of the servers. You wouldn’t know them. Snowcone doesn’t know them. They’re trusted women that me and the officers use on occasion for information. My thought is that if he was there, he was there at Sonja’s request.”
I sighed. “Look, you’re probably overreacting. I tell my clients all the time that sometimes things aren’t as they appear. You can drive yourself crazy looking for demons behind every corner. How would he know we were going to go from the restaurant to Nocturn? I didn’t even know. Him being there was probably totally innocent.”
He raised an eyebrow. “No, it wasn’t innocent, but I’ll concede it might not have anything to do with Sonja.”
“Okay, great, we’ve solved part of your issue. I’ll invoice you for my time,” I said, standing.
“Sit down, Wyatt.”
“Sundance—”
“I love you.”
I nearly fell over at his words even though I wasn’t really sure I’d heard him right. “What?”
“You heard me.”
I rubbed my forehead. “I’m not sure I did, actually.”
“Need you to look at me, baby.”
I shook my head.
“You don’t look at me, I’m gonna come over there.”
I met his eyes immediately and he smiled.
“You need to leave,” I whispered.
“Can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
He shook his head and rose to his feet, settling his fists on my desk and leaning toward me. “I love you, Wyatt.”
I forced back tears. “Don’t.”
“Baby, I know you’re scared, but if you give me the chance, I’m gonna make you feel safer than you ever have before.”
“This is the first time I’ve ever felt unsafe.”
“Bullshit.”
I frowned. “I have never—”
Primal Need (Primal Howlers MC Book 2) Page 11
