by Hart, Rebel
Where no one could see—or hear—us talk.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Clint shrugged. “I’m as good as I can be.”
I snickered. “Which is apparently not very good. I know something’s wrong. Do you want to talk about it?”
Clint dropped his bag. “Just—that shit with the lawyer yesterday.”
I nodded. “What happened?”
He leaned against the brick wall of the school. “Dad’s back in town.”
“Oh, no.”
“Oh, yeah. I told Cecilia time and time again not to tell Dad about the fucking lawyer. And of course, she didn’t listen. She’s awesome, but she never fucking listens. It’s like she thinks Dad’s actually gonna be this decent-as-fuck person one of these days. Then she gets shocked and hurt and scared when he loses his shit. She’s been married to him for four years! The fuck is she thinking!?”
I placed my hands against his chest. “Deep breaths. Come on, take them with me. There we go.”
I walked Clint through some even breathing. He was shaking against my hands, and I needed him to settle down. That explained everything. With his father back in town, shit always popped off. I smoothed my hands over his torso, trying to relax him. I watched him sink heavier and heavier into the brick wall as a cloud hovered over his head. His arms fell to his sides. He wrapped me up in his embrace and pulled me close. He kissed my forehead, sending electricity surging through my body as I closed my eyes. Tucked my head underneath his chin. And reveled in the way he stroked my back.
Clint sighed. “Dad doesn’t want me pressing charges.”
I scoffed. “Of. Fucking. Course.”
“He still thinks I had something to do with it. And he’s been keeping up with the police reports because he knew about the football field fight.”
I sighed. “Shit.”
“Yeah. To him, that’s proof enough that I apparently deserved what I got. Because, to him, those seventeen-year old boys were just ‘being boys and doing what boys do.’”
I pulled away a bit. “Did he actually say that?”
Clint nodded. “Right there in the fucking lawyer’s office. I was so embarrassed I wanted to melt into the goddamn floor.”
I gazed up into his eyes. “Clint? Your father’s a piece of trash.”
“Don’t I know it.”
“Clint, you need to press charges. They could have killed you. They almost did. Who the fuck does your dad think he is?”
He gave me a wary smile. “It’s okay, Rae. There’s no need for you to get worked up. I’ll figure this all out. Especially once Cecilia can stop updating my dad every second of every fucking day.”
“She just loves your dad. I get it. I mean, I don’t know how she loves your dad. But she does.”
He paused. “You get it?”
I felt my cheeks flush and I looked away from him. Fucking hell, I’d almost given myself away. Well, I’d practically given myself away, was more like it. Clint chuckled and pulled me back to him, placing a kiss to the top of my head. And as he rubbed my back with his large, strong hands, I felt my eyes fall closed.
“You keep doing that, I’m gonna fall asleep.”
He kissed my head again. “My only wish is that we were in a bed somewhere so I could fall asleep with you.”
I wrapped my arms around him. “Sore this morning?”
“A bit.”
“Did you take your pain medication? Any of it?”
“Half a pill. It takes the edge off without making me loopy.”
“Good. I wouldn't want you to be in too much pain today.”
“Look at you, worrying about me like a good woman does.”
I giggled. “Of course I’m going to worry about you. I care for you. I care about what happens to you. Unlike your fucking father, who I’d like to toss into a raging inferno.”
He snickered. “Tell me how you really feel.”
I kissed his chest. “Please don’t let him make this decision for you. I’m here if you need to talk, but if you want my honest opinion, you have to press charges on these boys. They flagrantly came at you. They deserve what they’re getting.”
Clint nodded. “Okay.”
The word was so soft. So timid. So… unlike Clint. It made me want to wring his father’s fucking neck. I tilted my head back and stood on my tiptoes, placing a kiss against his lips. He paused for a split second before cupping my cheek. I felt his tongue sliding across my lips. I willfully opened up for him, wrapping my arms around his neck. And as our tongues fell together, the school bell rang in the background.
I groaned. “Fuck.”
He chuckled. “Come on, beautiful. Let’s get you to class before you experience what life is like on the other side of being on time.”
“Does it have more kisses? Because I’d gladly experience it if it had more kisses.”
“You’re a mess, you know that?”
“A mess for you, Clint.”
He gazed into my eyes before capturing my lips one last time. And then he picked me up off my feet. He tossed me over his shoulder, causing me to laugh out loud as he picked up his backpack. He spanked my ass cheeks, over and over. Until we got around the corner of the school.
Then he carried me inside, heading straight for my locker as laughter poured from my lips.
34
Clinton
I watched Mike and Aly at lunch as I sat beside Rae. She leaned against me, falling between my legs and resting her weight against my chest. I’d missed holding her like this. I’d missed taking the whole of her against me and supporting her. As I wrapped my arms around her body, threading our fingers together, she pressed herself into me as close as she could get.
Thank fuck for that half a pain pill.
“So, Clint. How were classes this morning?”
Mike’s voice ripped me from my trance and I nodded.
“Eh, they weren’t too bad. English is getting interesting again, though. Now that we’re finally onto another book.”
Aly rolled her eyes. “Right? Catch-22 was the biggest drag alive. I still can’t believe I forced myself to read that thing.”
I snickered. “I didn’t at all. I did the SparkNotes version and prayed a bit for the test.”
“And let me guess, you still passed it.”
I shrugged. “I mean, I felt confident about it today. Why? You hate me for it?”
“Hey, everyone’s got their subject. Mine just isn’t English.”
Rae snickered. “Which is actually a shocker, since you love to read your textbooks.”
Aly stuck her tongue out at Rae and it made me laugh. Mike, too. His eyes connected with mine and I nodded toward him, trying to get him to wrap his arm around the damn girl. I mean, Aly had practically leaned herself against him. Every chance she got, she tried touching him in some way. Her hand on his forearm whenever she was laughing at a joke of his. She paid attention intently every time he said something. She was throwing off signals more than any girl had ever thrown signals at me. And Mike seemed completely oblivious to it.
So I jiggled my arm at him before pulling Rae closer. Hoping he got the fucking point.
Aly looked over at him and blushed. She got the point. But Mike? He looked like he was about to puke. The poor kid had probably never put his arm around a girl before in his young adult life. I grinned as I watched Aly scoot closer to him, trying to make it as easy on him as possible.
And when he finally wrapped his arm around her, she placed her head against his shoulder.
“Hi there, Michael.”
He grinned. “Hey there, Allison.”
Rae giggled. “Awwww, how cuuuuuute!”
All of us started laughing, which caused Michael to pull Allison closer. She wrapped her arm around his waist, holding him while he held her. It was cute, really. The two of them made a fantastic couple. They looked the part. Talked the part. Thought in the same way, and had much of the same goals. I’d learned that over the multiple car rides we’d
all had together over to the school. They talked about college. Career goals. Moving out and getting places of their own. They had the same sorts of ambitions with life, and in some ways I envied them.
You know, their ability to have options.
“You know, this day feels like it’s crept by like a slug.”
Rae’s voice pulled me from my trance and I kissed the top of her head.
“I don’t know. It’s flown by for me,” I said.
Mike shook his head. “Nope. I’m with Rae on this one. It’s crept by painfully slow.”
Aly shrugged. “I don’t really care, to be honest.”
Rae giggled. “If you could live here, you probably would.”
“Hey, now. Hey. Just because I enjoy school doesn’t mean I want to live here. I mean, cafeteria food for all three meals? I would rather d—”
She caught herself and everyone whipped their eyes over to me. Aly went to apologize, but I simply shook my head at her. This was exactly what I didn’t want. I didn’t want people tiptoeing around me. I didn’t want people feeling they had to mute themselves in order to preserve my feelings. I didn’t want things to change that drastically, simply because I wanted to try and keep things as normal as they could be. I wanted Rae leaning against me, I wanted my two new friends to joke around and poke fun at me, and I wanted to get through this school year with some sort of a future away from this place intact.
Aly stumbled over her words. “Clint—I’m—I’m so—”
I held up my hand. “Really, it’s okay. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I don’t want you guys feeling like you can’t crack jokes or poke fun at things or generally have a laugh. I almost died. It happened. But it didn’t kill me. It’s going to take more than that. Okay?”
Aly nodded softly. “Okay.”
Mike saluted me. “Loud and clear, General.”
I snickered. “Rae. You good?”
She sighed. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just—don’t like thinking about it.”
I pulled her close. “I know you don’t. I know.”
Aly piped up. “So, what are you going to do now that you’ve identified the guys and whatnot?”
I paused. “What?”
Rae cringed. “I kind of told her about the trip to the police department.”
Mike furrowed his brow. “Police department? Everything okay?”
I waved my hand in the air. “Yeah, yeah, things are good. Just had to identify the guys from that night. Pick out the car. Answer a few more questions. Shit like that.”
Mike nodded. “How’d that go?”
I shrugged. “I mean, it came and it went. Rae was there to back me up on things. It was nice, having her there for support.”
She tucked her head underneath my chin. “I’ll go with you anytime, anywhere, if you need my support.”
“Thanks, beautiful.”
Aly sighed. “Awww, how cute.”
Mike chuckled. “Now you know how Rae felt a few minutes ago.”
I smiled as Mike pulled her closer, tucking her underneath his arm. I felt them staring at me, and I knew what they really wanted to know. I looked down at Rae, finding her eyes. I saw her shaking her head softly, silently telling me I didn’t have to talk about it if I didn’t want to. And while this isn’t a conversation I wanted to have with many people, this was a conversation I could tolerate with Mike and Aly.
Which was more than I could have ever said for Roy and the gang.
“I mean, I had a talk with a lawyer yes—”
Rae interrupted me. “Seriously. If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”
Mike nodded. “That’s true. If it’s too much or something—”
I held my hand up. “You guys. It’s fine. I promise, if I didn’t want to talk about something, I wouldn't. Plain and simple. No matter how you guys felt about the matter.”
Aly grinned. “I have my ways, trust me.”
Mike nodded. “She really does. It’s irritating, but endearing at the same time.”
Aly shrugged. “All I heard was ‘endearing.’”
Rae laughed. “Like the genuine woman she is.”
We all had a laugh at that one before their eyes came back to me again. The laughter died down and the mood turned somber. I knew they wanted to know because they cared. Not because they wanted to exploit a weakness. But that was new to me. People genuinely caring instead of merely wanting to poke fun at some sort of a weakness I had within me.
It took me a second to get my feet underneath me for the story.
“Well, uh, I had an appointment after school yesterday with a lawyer. My stepmom went with me. And Dad. He was… well, he was himself.”
Aly furrowed her brow. “What does that mean?”
Mike’s face fell into stone. “What did he do to you?”
I shrugged. “What doesn’t he do to me? Look, my father’s a hard man. Always has been. And, if I’m being honest, he thinks that part of this whole issue is my fault.”
Aly balked. “He thinks you being pushed over that bridge by a car is somehow your fault?”
I nodded. “That’s how my dad is. I’ve always given him a hard time. Shit like that. So, in his eyes—once he found out about the fight on the football field—immediately I had as much of a hand in this as those other guys did.”
Mike paused. “Football field fight?”
Rae sighed. “Two of the guys that night were from that fight.”
Mike’s lips downturned. “What the fuck?”
Aly gasped. “Michael!”
“What? I mean, seriously. Come on. Your dad can’t actually think any of this was your fault. They almost killed you. They were drunk, from what I could gather from that night. They should be rotting away in jail. Or juvie. Or something.”
I shrugged. “My father pretty much showed his ass in that office. Said things like I needed to be focusing on school instead of chasing down four guys I’d provoked.”
Aly’s jaw dropped open. “What!?”
“He also said I’d been a problem child my whole life. Essentially tried to paint me as some bad boy trying to get the one-up on someone before they got the one-up on me. He told the lawyer that he didn’t see those boys pressing assault charges on me when I started the fight. So why should I press attempted murder charges on them simply because they were seeking out revenge like most young boys do?”
Mike’s face turned red. “Is it always like this with your father?”
I sighed. “I mean, let’s just say I’ve talked a big game in the past with bruises I’ve come to school with.”
“Oh, Clint.”
Aly reached across the table and offered her hand to me. And when I took it, I felt like I had a genuine friend in her. An ally, so to speak. It felt good, opening up to them. Leaning on them during a time like this. And before I knew it, my mouth ran away from me. I told them everything. When the hitting with my father started. The parties I went to on the weekends to get away from it all. The reasons why I came to school and bullied other people around. How I enjoyed it when my father was off on his trips and shit like that. I couldn't get my damn mouth to stop running until it had all come pouring out. And when I was done, Aly wiped tears away from her eyes while Mike placed his hand on my forearm.
“Clint, we’re in your corner, man. You need to know that when I tell you this. Okay?”
I nodded. “Hit me with it.”
Mike sighed. “You can’t let these assholes off the hook. I’m serious. They deserve everything coming at them, and you can’t let them get away with it. We’re in your corner. The three of us. Backing you up if you need it. And if you need a place to come crash sometime, I’m sure my parents wouldn't mind one damn bit if you came and crashed at my place.”
“I thought you hated my guts, Mike.”
He shrugged. “I did.”
“So… what's changed?”
He grinned. “You put your neck on the line for our girl. And that means more than a
nything that’s happened in the past.”
And when his eyes met Rae’s, she snuggled against me. I wrapped my arms around her body and mindlessly kissed the top of her head as Mike pulled his hand away. I felt accepted by them. Loved by them. Respected by them in ways I’d never felt with anyone else in my life. For the first time, I understood what it meant to have genuine friends. I understood what it felt like to trust someone. I planted my nose into Rae’s hair and breathed deeply as Mike pulled Aly closer into his side.
Then, Aly spoke up.
“So, who wants to come to my study party this weekend for midterms?”
And collectively, the three of us groaned together.
35
Raelynn
“So, ready for the study party this weekend?”
Clint’s voice sounded in my ear as I turned around, standing next to his locker. I leaned against it, watching as he placed his hand just beyond my shoulder. He was back. I loved it when he did this sort of thing. Cornered me and gazed down into my eyes with that knowing grin on his face. I licked my lips as my hand reached out for him. I slid my fingers along his chest. I let them settle against his heartbeat, reminding myself once more that he was still breathing. Still alive.
And that this wasn’t a dream.
“You, Clint Clarke, want to go to a study session this weekend.”
He shrugged. “Might be fun to watch Mike weirdly try to mack on Aly again.”
I nodded. “Oh, oh. Gotcha. So, not about studying at all.”
“Just about the drama. And the laughter. Nothing else. You know how it goes.”
I winked. “I definitely know how it goes.”
“But also maybe a bit of studying.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Actual studying?”
“Hey, that homework you aced for me has set a dangerous precedent I have to keep up with now.”
I giggled. “Come here, you idiot.”
