by Hart, Rebel
I felt alive, for the first time in my life.
And I wanted things to stay that way.
“Stop it, Howard! This has gone far enough!”
“Who the fuck do you think you are, yelling at me like that? Shut the hell up and listen, like you were always so good at!”
“Oh, is that why you married me? Because I kept my mouth shut and looked pretty for you?”
“The hell else are you good for? I whisk you away on all these vacations and it’s not like you put out anymore!”
“You’re an absolute asshole, you know that?”
Immediately, the blood drained from my face. How I could have ever convinced myself that things were getting better I had no idea. I heard my father yelling at Cecilia. I mean, just roaring at the top of his lungs. The only shocker was that she was yelling back. For the first time—well—ever . I stood on the porch, wondering if I should continue my walk. Maybe I could walk far enough to get to that coffee shop. The one where Rae got me that insanely good coffee and all those pastries.
I turned my back to the front door, readying myself to walk away. Until I heard something crash.
“Howard! Stop!”
I burst through the door, charging my sweaty ass down the hallway. I followed the sounds of my father screaming at her. Cursing at her. Calling her every single name in the godforsaken book. I grimaced at some of the shit that came out of his face. What kind of man talked to a woman that way?
A coward, that’s who.
“Howard, you’re hurting me. Please.”
“Yeah? Well, maybe you know now how much it hurts me for you to be suck a money-sucking cocktease, Cecilia.”
“Howard!”
“Dad!” I yelled at him as I burst through the double doors into the kitchen. I saw him standing there, leaning over Cecilia with his hand tightly wrapped around her forearm. She leaned away from him, trying to wiggle away. And the fear in her eyes widened them as she whipped her head over to look at me.
“Clint.”
I nodded. “Cecilia.”
Dad glowered. “Get out.”
I shook my head. “Not on your life. Let her go.”
Dad slowly panned his gaze toward me, pinning me with a glare. He tightened his grip around Cecilia’s wrist, causing her to squeal. She tried yanking away from him again, but he pulled her closer, almost causing her to lose her balance. I took a step closer to him, slowly reaching for the wooden spoon on the kitchen island.
And as he watched my movements, he chuckled.
“Go to your room, son.”
Instead, however, I curled my hand tighter around that damn wooden spoon.
Because he sure as hell wasn’t ripping another good woman from my life.
37
Raelynn
“Welcome to Grady’s Groceries. How was your shopping trip?”
“Yes, the milk aisle has changed to accommodate more items. It’s over here, all the way down along the wall.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll make sure your coupon is acknowledged.”
“We do take competitor’s coupons! Because we pride ourselves on having the best prices in-store.”
“I’m sorry, we stopped carrying that kind of ice cream when their ingredients were proven to be genetically modified. But I can help you find some other wonderful choices.”
I put on the best face I could, even though I wasn’t happy with being at work. I wanted to spend more time with Clint. I still wanted to be at home, in bed, curled up next to him. His bruises had finally faded into nothingness and I caught a glimpse of the strong, brutal boy I remembered from school. From before all this happened. His touch seemed gentler, but his movements were still powerful. Still reminiscent of the fighter I knew was still deep down within him.
I wanted to experience more of him. Especially now that he had a new lease on life.
I couldn't deny the change I’d seen in him over the past few weeks. How toned down his reputation at school had become. How much he hung around me and Michael and Allison, as opposed to going back to Roy and Marina and the rest of those dickweeds. He paid more attention in classes. Didn’t crack jokes or cause a ruckus. The subdued nature that came over him during recuperation seemed to be trickling into his regular life, and I liked it. Not that I didn’t like him before. But he gave off the idea that he might want to pull away from all that bullying bullshit. The poking fun at people and making people’s lives a nightmare.
The thought made me smile.
“And here I thought work didn’t make anyone happy.”
Michael’s voice ripped me from my trance. “What in the world are you doing here?”
He smiled. “Can’t I come by and see my best friend while she’s stuck at work?”
“How did you know I had to work tonight?”
“The distressful text you sent Allison.”
I grinned. “So you were with her when I sent that text.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, we’ve been spending some time together.”
“Uh huh. And what kind of time are you spending with her?”
“Not the kind of time you and Clint are spending with one another, I’m sure.”
I snickered. “Hardy har har.”
“The deli still got those ham and turkey sandwiches?”
“And I know for a fact they just restocked your favorite energy drink in the vending machine outside.”
“Oh. Yes. When do you take your break?”
I paused. “Give me twenty minutes, and I can probably take ten. But not more than that.”
“Fair enough. I’ll go ahead and get my food and annoy you until you take your break.”
“Thanks.”
He winked. “Anytime, Rae.”
“Don’t let Clint catch you winking at me. He just might slug you for it.”
“I’d have a few words to say to him before he did something like that.”
“Wait. Like what?”
Michael shrugged. “Like, ‘Thank you for almost dying because it convinced me to kick things into gear with Allison.’”
“Maybe don’t put it like that.”
He chuckled. “Not exactly like that, no. But in some respects, I do owe me and Allison to what happened to him. As morbid as it sounds.”
“So, there’s a ‘you and Allison’ now?”
“I mean, not officially. But I guess being there with you that night and seeing what happened with Clint. What he did for you and what you were willing to do for him. It made me realize what I wanted, you know? I mean, with Allison. No offense.”
I shrugged. “None taken. You’re not my type anyway.”
“I don’t look very good in leather.”
“I mean, you might be able to pull off leather assless chaps.”
“Don’t go giving Allison any ideas now.”
I giggled. “You know damn good and well she’d die if you ever did that to her.”
“It’s one of the things I adore about her.”
I had to pause Michael’s story in order to check out a few customers. But they quickly dwindled down. He got his sandwich and his energy drink. And I was thankful for the soda he purchased for me. I clocked out for my ten-minute break, meandering outside to sit with Michael. We sat on a bench and watched the sun cast colors across the sky while the summer breeze slowly cooled us down.
I took a sip of my soda. “So, tell me what you adore about Allison.”
Michael almost choked on his sandwich. “What?”
“That’s where we left off a little bit ago. You said Allison’s lack of a sexual appetite was one of the many things you adore about her.”
“Not lack of a sex—Rae. Come on. You know what I meant.”
I giggled. “I’m giving you a hard time. I knew what you meant.”
“I mean, I just—it’s Allison, you know? She’s intelligent and cute. So, so cute. She’s got goals and ambitions, and she likes my jokes. Her hands are as soft as they look, too.”
I grinned. “Her hands
, huh?”
He rolled his eyes. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“What? I’ve held Allison’s hands a lot over the years. I know what they feel like.”
“Uh huh. I’m sure that’s what you meant.”
I threw my head back, laughing. “That’s exactly what I meant.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t try.”
“You know I just—I keep thinking back to that night. Looking over the bridge and seeing Clint sprawled out. You know? And I just—I kept thinking about this crush I’ve got on Allison. Like, the fuck am I holding back for? What am I waiting for? It’s not like she’s going to approach me. She’s certainly not that kind of girl. And what if I get pushed over a bridge tomorrow? Or the next day? Am I really going to go out like that? With Allison not knowing how much I like her? She deserves better than that shit.”
I nodded. “She does.”
Michael paused. “I’m thinking of asking her to prom.”
I rolled my eyes. “After that entire diatribe, you’re only thinking about asking her?”
“Cut me some slack. I’ve already asked her to the movie and she invites me over every chance she gets. Give me at least some credit.”
I snickered. “All right. But only a little bit of credit.”
“You think she’d go with me if I asked?”
“I swear, the two of you. You’re gonna kill me, you know that?”
“What do you mean?”
I took another sip of my drink. “Do you know how long she’s been asking me when you’re going to ask her to prom?”
“Wait, what?”
I nodded. “Yep. I keep telling her to drop hints or just outright ask you herself. But every time I suggest that, she acts like I’ve slapped her across the face. I’m telling you, Michael. If you ask her, she’s going to say yes. She’s practically jumping out of her skin waiting for you to ask.”
He snickered. “Wow. Well, that makes me feel good.”
“I’m serious. You have to ask her. Our nights are going to be miserable if you don’t. She’d be so happy if you asked. Hell, she’d probably say yes before you could get the damn question out.”
He laughed. “Well, since we’re on this same track, you think Clint will ask you to prom?”
“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll go together. I mean, it’s not like he has to ask. We’re officially together, I suppose.”
“You suppose? After everything you’ve been through?”
I felt myself blush. “Okay, yes. We are officially together. So, yeah. We’re going to prom together.”
“You still don’t sound too sure of that. Is everything going okay with his recuperation?”
I shrugged. “I mean, he’s always struggling with his dad. Which I’m sure is affecting his recuperation efforts. But he’s okay. Far as I can tell.”
“I’d like to get his dad in a room for a few minutes.”
I scoffed. “Wouldn't we all.”
“So, how are the two of you? You know, now that he’s on the mend?”
I felt myself blush deeper. “I guess we’re good.”
“You guess, huh?”
“You’re a dick, you know that?”
He chuckled. “Maybe a bit. Can I ask you something, though?”
“Of course. I mean, you have to spit it out soon because I only have one more minute, but—”
“Do you love him?”
The question didn’t catch me as off-guard as I figured it would. In fact, it was easy to answer. I bit down onto the inside of my cheek as I turned to face Michael. And with a nod of my head, I answered his question.
“Yeah. I really think I do.”
Michael grinned. “Then, you should tell him. I don’t know much about Clint, but I’d like to think I know him better after these past few weeks. The lunches we’ve shared and helping him to class. He strikes me as the kind of guy who won’t believe something is real unless you say the words. So say them.”
I paused. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“I can tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that’s not true. Not one bit.”
“But, there’s a chance. Right?”
He sighed. “Rae, if that boy doesn’t love you after all you two have been through and after all you’ve done for him, he sure as hell isn’t worth any more of your efforts.”
I nodded slowly. “True.”
“Tell him, Rae. Tell him, like I’m going to tell Allison she’s going to prom with me.”
“Whoa, now. I didn’t realize we were talking on that sort of a level now.”
He nudged me with his shoulder. “You really are patronizing sometimes. You know that?”
I giggled. “It’s why you love me.”
He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to him. “Always and forever, girl. I’ll always have your back.”
“Even if I screw around with your mortal enemy and somehow make you guys friends?”
He paused. “I mean, maybe.”
The two of us laughed, but his words hit home. Michael was right. If I wanted Clint to know I loved him, I had to spit it out. And there was a good chance he wouldn't do it first. Not because he didn’t want to. But because he’d been through enough. He’d taken enough first steps to last someone a lifetime. It was damn time someone took the reins from him and let him rest a little bit. I didn’t want to wait a second longer to tell him how I felt. Even if it blew up in my face. Even if he broke my heart. Even if I completely regretted the decision. At least I’d know. I’d know where we stood, and he’d know he was capable—and worthy—of being loved.
And I wanted to be the person to finally give that to him.
38
Clinton
I gripped the wooden spoon, pulling it to my side. “No.”
He growled at me. “No?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m not going anywhere. And I suggest you let Cecilia go.”
As I stood there, staring at the fear in her eyes, I felt the entire room shift underneath my feet. My father’s anger filled the space, pushing it outward and upward and downward. But, I steadied myself. I looked him straight in his eyes and held his stare. Held my ground. Held that wooden spoon in my hand, just in case that man decided to charge me.
This stopped today.
I mean, fucking hell. I was a fighter everywhere in my life except my own damn home. The fuck was that about? No more. I was done being pushed around by my father. I was done feeling weak. I’d just fought for my life, and now I felt like the time had come for me to fight for my freedom. To fight for peace. To fight for the sanity of this household and to buck up against my father.
And I was done allowing Cecilia to suffer the same angry wrath I had all my life. She deserved better. That woman had been there for me every step of the way through this shit. I wouldn't let my father hurt her. I wouldn’t let him mangle her. I wouldn’t let him taint her the way he’d tainted me down through the years. Because if he didn’t have any issues putting his hands on her right now, that meant it had happened in the past.
Something that boiled my blood.
Dad’s eye twitched. “What? You think you’re a big man now?”
Cecilia tried wrenching away from him, but it didn’t work. He tightened his grip further against her skin, causing her to cry out. I took a step forward, flipping the spoon in my hand. I caught it, feeling the weight of the damn thing settling against my palm. And as Dad’s eyes flickered down to it, something else crossed my mind.
It wasn’t simply Cecilia that deserved better.
I did, too.
“The fuck are you smiling about? Put that damn thing down and get out of here.”
My father’s voice ripped me from my trance and I felt my lips curling up. Further. Wider. Until my teeth gleamed at him and happiness flooded my veins. I deserved better. For the first time in my life, I felt like I deserved something more than this. Something more than Dad. Something more
than the life he’d given me. Something more than the emptiness of his money. I looked at Cecilia and winked, letting her know that the two of us were getting out of this. No matter what I had to do.
Then, finally, Dad dropped her arm. “The fuck are you smiling about, son?”
I snickered. “I’m not your son.”
His eyebrows rose. “Pretty sure I knocked up your mother with you. So, yeah. That makes you my son.”
“Takes a lot more than sperm to make you a father, Dad.”
He started walking toward me and Cecilia reached out for him. Telling him to stop. Telling him that she’d get me to go upstairs. He turned around, pushing her back toward the kitchen counter as she stumbled on her feet. And as she caught herself against the counter, she cried out. Her voice filled with panic, horror, and anger.
“He’s just recovered, Howard! Stop it!”
I didn’t flinch. As my father stalked toward me, I looked him straight in his eyes. I wouldn't let him control this house anymore. I wouldn't let him control my life, or my happiness, or my worth. I kept Cecilia in the corner of my eye, checking to make sure she was all right. And after she got back up onto her feet, I narrowed my eyes at my father.
“The fuck are you looking at, Clinton?”
I sighed. “I’m not afraid of you anymore, Dad. I don’t know why you’re so angry. I don’t know why you hate me so much. But I’m done trying to figure it out. I’m done trying to figure you out. This has to stop, and it stops now. And if you don’t want it to stop, I’ll call people who will help me stop it. For my sake, and Cecilia’s.”
He put his finger in my face. “You leave my wife to me.”
“Not a chance in hell.”
He paused. “What did you just say?”
I stepped up to the plate, mere inches from my father’s face. One on one, without a care in the world as to what he did after this. Because if he beat me to a bloody pulp, I’d take both the doctor and the lawyer up on their offers. So long as they helped Cecilia out in the process. My smile settled into a grin. A snarky grin I’d learned from him over the years. His nostrils flared with anger. His eyes bulged with revenge. I smelled the stench of alcohol on his breath and shook my head.
