by D. M. Shane
I was still gasping for air when Arkkadian’s warm hands enveloped me and pulled me in. I froze in his grasp, absolutely petrified. I didn’t want to be touched, but I was too frightened to move. Still too scared of Kane and frightened by the peace and familiarity I suddenly felt in Arkkadian’s arms. I didn’t understand any of it. Arkkadian may have saved me from Kane tonight, but I didn’t exactly feel safe around him either, though I wanted to.
Time slowed down as he guided me over to the corner of the bar and onto a stool. As I struggled to breathe, those same warm arms wrapped around me again, and I let them despite my fear. Arkkadian stood behind me, guarding me from the rest of the crowd while he held me. I turned to see Carter barrel over toward Kane and his buddies.
“Get the fuck out of my bar and don’t come back!” Carter shouted.
“All right, all right. We’re going, old man. This isn’t over, Ash.” He clicked his tongue and winked at me before walking out the door. I knew then that Kane wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted.
Paige placed the phone back on the receiver and came over. With Kane gone, there was no longer a need for the police.
“Ash, are you okay?” Carter asked, sitting down on the stool beside me. I still struggled to breathe, and I couldn’t answer. “Thank you,” he told Arkkadian, shaking his hand.
I stared at the counter, barely able to focus on anything but my struggle to draw in oxygen. I couldn’t look at anyone, least of all the man holding me like he never wanted to let me go. I tried to slow my breathing, but horrible memories just kept flashing through my head. I scrunched my eyes as tightly as I could, willing the images to stop.
Arkkadian let go of me and sat down next to me. Oddly, I wanted him to keep holding me. I’d felt a sense of loss when he’d let go, almost like a part of me had suddenly gone missing. Weird.
“What the fuck was that about?” Arkkadian’s anger wrapped around me like a cloak, and instantly, I knew it for what it was. Vigilance. Protectiveness. He was now my sentinel. My protector, whether I wanted it or not. And want it, I did.
“Not a clue. He used to be a regular, but I haven’t seen him in months. He never caused trouble before,” Carter mused. When he looked at me, I caught the change in his expression. He knew about the assault as my emergency contact, but I’d just never told him who it was.
I eyed him, hoping he’d understand my silent plea to stay quiet, but then the room spun. I almost slid off the stool before Arkkadian caught me.
“Aislin, listen to me,” Arkkadian soothed. His voice was deep and rich. Smooth, like slow-aged whiskey as it slid down my throat. He turned me to face him and placed a hand on each of my knees. I flinched but didn’t pull away. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.
I was at war with myself over this beautiful stranger. Don’t freak out. Get control of yourself. Don’t touch me. Please don’t stop touching me.
“You’re hyperventilating. You’ll pass out if you don’t stop. I need you to listen to my voice.” He spoke in a slow, rhythmic manner, and I felt my body giving in to his request. Recognizing. Trusting. “Try to slow your breathing down. Breathe in and count to three. That’s it. Now breathe out and count. Just like that. In… out… Good. You’re doing great.”
His voice was calming, and his eyes never wavered from mine. The intimidating feeling I’d felt earlier had disappeared. Instead, I found my attraction to him growing. The familiar pull was back, rippling through me like a plucked guitar string.
Warmth enveloped my body. It seemed to radiate from where his hands rested on my knees and spread outward, blanketing me from head to toe. My breathing slowed, but my tears refused to cooperate. My whole body shook with sobs as the fear I’d felt while imprisoned in Kane’s grasp rippled to the surface again.
Once again, Arkkadian pulled me in close, and with gentle hands, he wiped my tears. When I opened my eyes, I found myself up close and personal with Arkkadian as he hugged me to him. He was so much taller than I realized. Lean and muscular. Firm, but gentle. Black rims circled around his sapphire irises. Like mine, only mine were silver edged in black. I’d never met anyone with eyes like mine before. How strange.
Despite his gentleness, I tried to pull away, but Arkkadian just held me there, murmuring quietly about me being safe. Deep down, I believed him. More waves of warmth radiated through my body. The sensation felt odd, yet familiar. It felt like it was being pushed through me by an unseen force. Every muscle relaxed as all the tension left my body. I pondered what that was as Arkkadian soothed, his hand rubbing up and down my back in slow circles. The urge to pull away from him subsided. I leaned into him, breathing him in, feeling comforted, yet confused about my mixed reactions. None of this made any sense.
“You’re okay. Nothing will happen to you,” Arkkadian said, his voice remaining low and calm. Then he gently wiped away more tears as I came back to myself.
“Ash, why don’t you go home early tonight? Paige and I can handle the bar. You go rest. Take tomorrow and Friday off,” Carter said, concern showing in his eyes. “We can talk about all of this later when you’re feeling better.”
“But I need the hours.” I was still working my ass off to pay down the credit cards I’d maxed out with all the moving around I’d done over the past three years.
“Don’t you worry, I’ll take care of it. You get some rest. I’ll call Ginny to fill in; she said she was coming home early tomorrow, anyway. I’ll check on you in the morning.” Carter hugged me and kissed my forehead, gave Arkkadian a nod, and walked away.
As I watched him retreat behind the bar, Paige sat down and took my hands. “You okay, Ash?” she asked, giving me the once over.
She handed me more tissues. I wasn’t sure if Paige had figured it all out yet or not, but I knew when she came home later, I’d face the inquisition and there were things I wasn’t ready to explain.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just shaken up.” I eyed Arkkadian before telling my friend to go back to work. I knew nothing about the man who had his arms wrapped protectively around me, other than he’d stood up to Kane and that they apparently had a history together. I was thankful he’d stood up for me, but I wasn’t ready to trust him, even if he saved me. Even if my body wanted to trust him, I didn’t know him. The way he’d watched me earlier, though, as if he could see to the center of my soul, still unnerved me.
“You know I’m here for you, right?”
“I know.”
“Good. Go rest. I’ll be home in a couple of hours.” With that, Paige hugged me and drifted back behind the counter. Soon, customers on the dance floor would leave for the night.
I pulled out of Arkkadian’s embrace.
“Is there anything I can do to help? Do you need a ride home or anything? I can see you home safely,” he asked.
I bristled. No. Full stop. There was no way I was letting him take me home. I didn’t want him knowing where I lived, even if it was just upstairs. It didn’t matter how safe he made me feel. How much I wanted him to protect me.
“Thank you, but no. I’ll be okay. I don’t live far. Thanks for standing up to Kane, though. This is embarrassing.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. The guy is an asshole. He has no respect for women. It’s not your fault,” Arkkadian stated. An angry expression flicked so quickly across his face, I almost didn’t catch it before it disappeared.
“Speaking of, why were you watching me so intently all evening? And why are you being so nice to me? We barely know each other.” I pulled further away from him. “And how do you know Kane? You called him by his name and I never said his name.”
I didn’t know where all of that had come from; I’d just blurted it all out. I wasn’t usually so blunt.
“I apologize. Truly. It’s just that you’re beautiful, and I was drawn to you. I didn’t mean to scare you. As for Kane, we grew up together. We’ve never gotten along and he’s always been a troublemaker. He’s not someone to mess with. In fact, he’s dangerous.”
<
br /> I looked down at my lap where I sat twisting my hands together. Did he really think I was beautiful? It wasn’t often someone complimented me, but then, I’d never taken a compliment easily, anyway. My insecurities always took the forefront.
I’ve only ever thought of myself as a small-town girl. I wore boots and jeans. T-shirts and ponytails. A nerd. Damaged. Much of that stemmed from my years in foster homes, never feeling worthy. Or from the ugly scars I hid from the world. The homes weren’t bad, but they weren’t great. And they never felt like home or like I fit in. And then there were the nightmares from some unknown childhood trauma. And the anxiety. The panic attacks. I’d had them my whole life and never understood why. I only knew the dreams related to my scars somehow.
“Um, thanks,” I told him, my cheeks flushing with heat.
“You don’t take a compliment well, do you?” He laughed a little.
Hearing his laugh made me relax a little more. “No. I just… I don’t know. Anyway, thank you again, but I really need to go.”
“My pleasure. Truly.” Arkkadian released me and backed up, giving me some space.
I hopped off the barstool, thanked him again, and hightailed it to the back. I didn’t look back, but I swore I could feel his eyes on me the whole way. I punched out, grabbed my purse, and bolted out the back door and up the stairs to my apartment above the bar.
At the top of the stairs, I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Something didn’t feel right, but when I looked around the alley, I saw nothing. I chalked it up to nerves and rushed inside, locking the deadbolt behind me.
A hot bath and a glass of wine before bed sounded wonderful.
Ten minutes later, I sank down into the blissful heat, letting the water envelop my naked body. I didn’t care that I’d dripped a trail of clothes down the hall and through my room to the tub. All I wanted to do was forget about the world, if only for a little while.
I lay there in the silence, staring at the wall and trying unsuccessfully to clear my head. Thoughts of both Kane and Arkkadian muddled through my mind. The asshole… no… the rapist—call him what he really is—and the what? I didn’t know what to think about Arkkadian. Kane was dangerous. No question. But what about Arkkadian? Was he a friend or foe?
Images of that night filled my head. All the things I tried to forget. Being pinned against the wall. Kane forcing his tongue in my mouth. Pinning me to the bed and trying to hurt me. His bloody face with the shards of ceramic sticking out. Running for my life. His eyes. I’d forgotten about his glowing eyes.
Tears came unbidden again, and I just cried. No panic. No freak-out. Just tears. I cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore and my fingers were pruned and the water chilled; I climbed out and went to bed, where I sank into a fitful sleep.
Sometime in the night, I jolted awake with a scream. I’d been crying in my sleep. I’d dreamed about the fire again. A child screaming. Searing pain down the side of my body. It was the same nightmare I’d relived in my dreams since I was seven. They were the only thing I had left from my old life. I had no memories from before then. Was I ever going to get over this?
I’d gone to therapy for years, eventually giving up when it didn’t help. The nightmares never stopped. The anxiety and panic attacks only got worse. And since the last attack, my nightmares had become more frequent than ever.
A quiet knock sounded on the door. Paige peeked her head in as I clicked on the bedside lamp.
“Hey. Bad dreams again?” she asked, padding over to my bed and climbing in beside me. She wrapped her arms around me, and I lost it. All the emotions I’d been holding in poured out of me in a teary river of misery. “Let it all out, babe. I’m here.”
We sat together for what felt like forever, Paige hugging me as I cried. Deep down, I knew I needed to confide in her. She’d known about the nightmares since the day we’d become roommates, but she didn’t know about Kane. I knew she had questions.
Releasing a sigh, I let it all out. Every single detail of that night.
“I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. There wasn’t an ounce of accusation in her tone. There was no pity. No, all I felt from my best friend was love and understanding.
“Honestly, I just didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to remember it. I don’t want people looking at me with pity. I just want to forget, but I can’t.”
Her voice was soft and kind. “Ash, I’m not sure that’s something anyone else could forget either. But it can get better. It just takes time. You know it’s not your fault, right?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “I know. I just… I want it out of my head and I can’t stop thinking about it. Tonight brought everything back.”
“Was it him? The guy from tonight? Didn’t he used to come to the bar and sweet-talk you all the time? He used to be so nice. And clean.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh honey, I am so sorry. If I had known, I’d have been on the phone faster.” My friend surprised me. I’d expected a full-on interrogation, but she kept the questions to a minimum, showing me nothing but compassion. Then she wrapped her arms around me and held me close, comforting me as I drifted back to sleep.
A few short hours later, the morning sun streamed through the blinds. I sat bolt upright out of bed, jarred by a flash of memory. Arkkadian’s eyes. When Kane had shoved me into his arms, I’d caught a quick glance of his face before burying my face in his chest. His eyes were glowing a bright, brilliant sapphire. I’d been so frightened, it hadn’t registered. Surely, I had imagined it. Eyes didn’t glow. And earlier, when I’d taken his drink order, I swear I’d caught him sniffing the air. Just like Kane. And they knew each other? What the actual fuck?
This was too weird. I couldn’t deny that Arkkadian emitted a magnetizing allure. He was both handsome and terrifying. Sexy, yet intimidating. However, I wasn’t drawn to Kane in the same way. Arkkadian felt familiar. Like I could sense him. Kane most definitely did not. I couldn’t put my finger on it what it was exactly, but I’d almost felt enthralled in Arkkadian’s presence. It scared the shit out of me, but I wouldn’t think about it. I’d probably never see him again, anyway. Kane, however, was a different story.
Shaking my head to clear it of all thoughts, I hopped out of bed and padded down the hall to the kitchen in my pajamas. Breakfast was already on the table, and Paige was pouring a fresh mug of Joe. Today was a new day, and I planned to make the best of it.
3
Arkkadian
Aeternus. Mate. Mine, I thought to myself as I lay in bed. I knew the moment I smelled the beauty in the bar last night that she was my Aeternus. The connection was instant, the wolf inside me howling for freedom the second her scent washed over me, the need to bond with her all-consuming.
The Black Horse Saloon was a usual stop on my way back to Eagle Ridge after visiting a few of the smaller outlying Lycan villages hidden among the mountains. There were some shifters who avoided the larger population at our Eagle Ridge compound, preferring solitude, and once every few weeks, I checked in on them. As the Alpha, it was my duty to make sure I met their needs.
Upon a recent visit to the bar, I recognized the lingering scent of an Aeternus immediately, but it hadn’t belonged to any of the women there that evening. So, I’d been going back every few days over the past weeks to find her, and last night, there she was.
I’d smelled her as soon as I’d walked in the door. Her essence was everywhere, overwhelming my senses. She was mine, my wolf laying claim with no shadow of a doubt. I could hardly contain my excitement. I’d finally found my Aeternus. I’d finally found my soulmate after four hundred years. What I didn’t understand was why she was working in a bar. She sure wasn’t part of the outlying shifter villages.
What’s more? She didn’t know what she was. I’d attempted to pry into her mind, but I found no memories regarding who or what she was, or who her parents were. In fact, there were no memories before the age of seven, give or take. What I had foun
d, however, was a memory block. My attempt to bypass the block had been short-lived as she’d quickly dizzied under my mental probing, and I’d had to back out of her mind before she passed out.
I needed to know what lay hidden behind that block. Something was amiss, and my wolf’s gut instinct to protect her had heightened tenfold. If someone had blocked her memories, there was a reason for it. She carried a secret, and in my world, secrets were dangerous.
She belonged to me. I could feel it in my bones. My wolf knew it, and he would stop at nothing to claim her. It was pure instinct. My Aeternus. My mate. Fate had finally smiled at me.
Her scent called to me, made my body ache, told me everything I needed to know about her. She was my life mate. My heart pounded, the beast inside ready to burst through my skin and claim what was ours. My arousal had tried to spear its way out of my pants last night, and it had taken everything in my power to tamp it down while I watched her work.
I’d wanted to take her right there at the bar, to bend her over and slam home, to claim my mate. The urge was relentless and excruciating to deny, but I wouldn’t dare jeopardize our existence. Unleashing the beast in public was expressly forbidden. Humans knew nothing of our supernatural existence.
Then that bastard rogue Lycan piece of trash had shown up and groped my mate, manhandling and frightening her to the point of a panic attack.
The bitter stench of her fear enraged my wolf, and I’d nearly shifted. The compulsion to protect her had almost been my undoing, and my beast wanted to rip the bastard’s head off for threatening her. I’d battled my wolf’s ire as it burned me from within, pushing the fire back down so I could take charge of the situation and get rid of the asshole who dared to put his hands all over my mate. Meanwhile, his cronies had ogled and made crude remarks about things they wanted to do. I still wanted to rip them all to shreds even now.
