by Jason Lee
One time, my closest cousin Anthony called me out on my antisocial disposition toward my family. Anthony called me and said, “The family just doesn't understand why you don't fuck with them. Like they don't get it, you know? I tried to explain to them that you don't fuck with nobody.”
“Shit, that’s the truth,” I admitted.
“You know, our cousins who grew up with us just don't understand why I'm the only one you bring around.”
I don't trust anybody. I really feel like if I can control my world, I can control my peace. I can control my happiness. I can control not being betrayed.
***
Years later I was going through one of my moments when I was sad and having a hard time with Rodney’s death, so I decided to reach out to my nephew, Roderick. His mother named him after my brother. I sent him a message on Facebook, and we started talking. He added me as a friend, and I was excited—he's my nephew and my brother's son so I was glad that I was able to still have some piece of Rodney. My nephew and I were discussing my brother, and he was telling me how much he remembered him, and we spent time reminiscing and such. After our exchange back and forth, I called my brother, Link, very optimistic and excited to tell him all about this connection I made with our nephew.
“Rodney’s son found me on Facebook, and I really needed that. Talking to him has been great, and I’m going to meet up with him. I'm about to fly out to Stockton so that we can build a relationship.”
Link stopped me swiftly and said, “That's not his son. Rodney just named him after him and treated him like his son. But that's not his son." He continued to tell me all about Roderick’s real dad, and I was devastated. I felt like Rodney was slipping away from me, and finding out that Roderick wasn’t his destroyed me. Then I was angry at how insensitive my brother was in telling me. Then, to know how much I loved my brother and how excited I was that I had made this connection with a part of him and to tell me that way, I was angry. Apparently, everybody knew but me, so I felt like I was the butt of a horrible joke.
I called Roderick back, and I guess you could say that I confronted him.
“Roderick, I gotta ask you a question. I just talked to my brother and he says that you're not Rodney's son.”
Roderick was as quiet as a mouse pissing on cotton. When he finally spoke he said, “Well, Rodney is the dad that I know. Rodney's the guy that raised me as a kid. Rodney is my dad, but not my biological dad." Then my devastation reached a new height. I was so overwhelmed that I hung up the phone.
Afterward, Roderick texted his mom and told her, "I think you should call Jason because he didn't know Rodney wasn't my dad, and now he's emotional."
She called me and we had a very emotional conversation. I explained to her how confused I was and how distressing the whole situation was. After all that, I still decided to maintain a relationship with Roderick. We still talk, and we had a heartfelt conversation where he told me that he wanted to maintain a relationship with me and that it was important to him. I understood. I keep in touch with him because Rodney would've wanted us to have a relationship because Rodney treated him like he was his son. It was still a hard truth to digest, but like everything else that pertains to Rodney, I have to learn how to heal past it.
Despite my initial disappointment about Roderick, I had never forgotten about Mytae, Rodney’s biological daughter. She was seven weeks old when he was killed, and we didn’t reconnect until she was an adult. I wish that I could have been there to help raise her, but there was a lot of drama stopping that. My brother was a Blood, but Mytae’s mom had gotten involved with a Crip after my brother died. To make matters worse, this was someone who my brother didn't like and really didn’t fuck with. After she got into a relationship with him, she changed Mytae’s last name from Townsend, my brother’s last name, to her boyfriend’s last name. Everybody in our city knew that his family, and nobody fucked with them. To put his name on her like that was so disrespectful to us and to Rodney.
When I saw that her last name on Facebook had changed, I messaged her and said, “This is really disrespectful. This is the most disrespectful shit I've ever seen.” At that time, she didn’t have a relationship with me, so it was really random of me to send her that.
She retorted, “That's the only dad I knew growing up.”
I couldn’t get past it. I told her, “I understand he’s the only guy you knew growing up as your dad. But you don't understand the history enough to understand how disrespectful that is.” Her mom ended up calling me, and I went off on her. It was hard to have a relationship with my niece after that because I didn’t know where to go from there.
Eventually, I realized how rude I was for attacking her. Rodney is always a sore spot for me, but Mytae had no control over Rodney’s death, the preservation of his memory, or who raised her. She had nothing to do with the beefs—past or present. My goal was to reach out to her and let her know that I understand the position she was in and that she’s not responsible for my feelings.
***
While I was filming season six of “Love & Hip Hop,” I went home to plan a memorial for Rodney. I had met with my siblings so that we could discuss details, but my brother, Link, acted like a complete ass and stormed out—because his wife was in the scene. In many ways, he's become my father, but that’s probably because he actually had a relationship with my father. The man tucked him in every night. He has kids out of his marriage, like my father and he had no regard for anyone else—like my father. He got upset with me because I mentioned how shitty of a parent our father was. I was the only kid who went to foster care and was there for years. Not to mention, I was raising my goddamn self before then because he didn’t step up when my mother checked out. He didn’t understand where I was coming from, or how I felt—none of them could really understand my perspective because none of them were in my shoes. Not to mention, Link was the one who got me shot, and he didn't even apologize for it.
He was huffing and puffing talking about, “Ain’t nobody gonna disrespect my father,” and that turned the entire meeting into something it didn’t have to be. We were there for Rodney; how could we honor him if we couldn’t even honor each other?
My father didn’t even show up to the meeting, even though I called and told him that I wanted to talk to him. After the big blow-up with Link, I called my dad to schedule a time to meet with him, and he blew me off. That was the last straw, and so I'm over trying to rebuild that relationship. Now I just have to live for myself, and put that energy into people who deserve it.
When we taped the memorial for Rodney on “Love & Hip Hop,” Mytae was there. She spoke about Rodney, and about not having the privilege of knowing him and that he must've been a great person because she's heard so many great stories. She was just seemed grateful to be there and to have started a relationship with all of us. It was the first time she had really been around that side of the family and the first time that she had ever spoken publicly about her father. Afterward, we released 27 white doves to symbolize the age Rodney was when he was murdered. Mytae and I didn’t have a chance to sit down and build a relationship while filming the show, but I did take her to meet Cardi B because I knew she was a fan. The relationship is slowly progressing. Rodney would've expected us all to have a relationship anyway. He's such an important part of my life that I think it would be disingenuous for me to say how important he is to me and then not be there to have a relationship with his daughter.
***
The concept of “family” had always been fluid to me. Some of the people who I considered family as a kid or teenager don’t really hold that title now, but some do. The people who I regard as permanent family and have really had my back like the closest brothers and sisters are Calvin and Floyd. Calvin has seen the worst of me and still considers me redeemable. He’s forgiving, supportive, and real—I value where our time together has brought us. I get a lot of criticism for always talking about Floyd, but how do I not honor someone who's been such a big influence
in my life? He’s someone who helped me realize my potential, and he put his money, his brand, and his full support behind me. He brought me into The Money Team and into his world. I was living in Hollywood and knowing everybody, but not feeling connected to anybody—and I got pulled into Floyd's family. He’s family, even with our ups and downs.
Then there are Tiffany Haddish, Queen Latifah, and Cardi B. These are people who are the top of the industry, but I don’t view them as celebrities. When I speak to Tiffany, there's always a reaffirmation of my purpose from her, a supporting comment, or encouragement. She always tells me that she believes in me and that I’m going to be huge in this industry. Queen Latifah has always been a big sister to me and took a chance on a smart-mouthed kid from Stockton. She was the light that I never had. Her validating me and showing me love really inspired me to believe in myself. I attribute a lot of my survival after Rodney's death to her.
And again, Cardi. I tell her things that I can’t tell anybody else, and she gives me that same exclusivity. My extended family is there and they take my calls whenever I need to talk to them about something. We go beyond industry shit and just support each other in life. They're also people who understand the importance of maintaining privacy, so they know I'm going to maintain their privacy. I know I can trust them with anything; I know they're going to maintain mine, too.
It’s amazing to me how I grew up with so many tarnished relationships within my family, but God allowed me to be in a space where I could regain what was lost. I never look to my friends to be replacements for anyone, but it sure helps to have them when I feel like I have nobody else.
I Am Not an Anomaly
One of the many lessons that Floyd taught me was that the bad guy always wins. He was right. One of the most disappointing parts about my industry is that a lot of the conflict I've created with my business has actually been great for my business. If I drop a story that says that Janet Jackson is pregnant at 50, people would have a lackluster response, but if I drop a story revealing someone’s mistress or secret baby mama, the energy and momentum surrounding that story would be through the roof. There's not enough material in a day for the amount of scandal and negativity people want to consume, but this is an indictment on the world that we live in, not on me.
Even though playing dirty has worked out for my business, it’s been a challenge separating my business from my personal brand. I’ve been painted as “the bad guy,” and I think that it’s hard for people to see past that. When people have an opportunity to meet me, they say things like, “Man, you're nothing like what people think,” or, “You're way nicer than people think,” or, “Goddamn, you're not as messy as people think.”
Despite people’s opinions of me, I can honestly say that I'm finally living out my dream of being a self-made entrepreneur in the entertainment industry. I’ve been able to continually focus on building an audience that will help me eventually have a platform to inspire, motivate, and help people. I’ve partnered with iHeartRadio, and my show is accessible to 52 markets across the country. I'm excited to do the talk show circuit, and I’m glad that even though I initially walked away from “Love & Hip Hop” after two seasons, I was able to solidify a place on “Wild ‘N Out” and then come back to “Love & Hip Hop” on my terms. I got everything I wanted contractually, monetarily, and I was able to take charge of my own story. I've gotten to a point in my career where now I can say, “Yo, I'm signing with ICM, one of the biggest agencies in the world," and I'm able to do all of this my way.
People’s opinions or what they have to say about what I do don’t matter to me. I’ve been molested and abandoned. I endured a lot, and I have lost much, yet I took all the obstacles and darts that have been thrown at me and crafted them into a throne. I’ve grieved until I’ve become physically ill due to my brother’s death and the deaths of other people I cared about. Once I experienced Rodney’s death, I knew that there was nothing that could reproduce that type of pain. Having known that pain, nothing anybody says or does can move me. I’ve already had the worst happen to me and I survived it. If I lose a contract, it’s not a problem; I'll go find another one. If I lose a friend, I’d be sad because I don’t just throw around that label, but I just see it as God closing that chapter. I keep it moving. I've learned that no matter what happens to me and what I face, God’s favor is on my life.
My life is a testament of faith. For a while, I thought that God had turned his back on me. I thought that I was too far gone or that I had done too much dirt for him to be invested in my life. I was wrong. He had never left me, and he has been evident in my darkest days and my brightest moments. Even though I had absentee parents, God still gave me great mentors like the Easters, Edwin, Dana … Rodney. Even though I was in the foster care system, I learned survival. I learned how to stand up for myself and how to assert myself in any situation. I lost my brother, but it fueled me to make a change in my life and pursue my dreams. It grounded me and forced me to feel every emotion and experience. With each test, I was able to endure and just ask, “What’s next?” At first, I thought it was just because I was numb from pain, but now I know it's from having strength and understanding that God is going to see me through.
I am not an anomaly. God is using every experience to propel you to your destiny, but you can’t fold and give up. Every debilitating event or earth-shattering loss is equipping you for something inconceivably vast. It doesn’t matter what your background is, what mistakes you’ve made, or what demons you have to fight—continue to push knowing that you have what it takes to be grand. What God did for me, he can also do for you. I lay waste to every feeling of hopelessness, suicide, low-self-esteem, unworthiness, shame, guilt, and oppression. You are not the sum of your mistakes or your misfortune; rather, you are an opportunity for God’s glory. Just as God’s hand was on me throughout my life, I assure you that his hand is on you, too. One thing my life has taught me is that God never forgot about me, and he hasn’t forgotten about you either.
Jason Lee
Culture disruptor and media mogul, Jason Lee, has unlocked the secret to true success in Hollywood. Lee has built an ever-evolving brand empire through strategic campaign oversight, event production, and influencer relationships. Not only has Lee been at the forefront of culture shifting moments, but includes an expansive clientele of notable celebrities and personalities including Chris Brown, Jordin Sparks, Kris Jenner, Rob Kardashian, and Jamie Foxx. Lee’s executed various campaigns for brands such as T-Mobile, Samsung, Belaire, Monster Headphones, Fashion Nova, Men's US National Soccer Team, Audi, 2Vllve and Quarterly.
When Lee is not executing global brand campaigns, he’s building a world class leading media platform. Hollywood Unlocked is one of the nation's Top 5 Urban & entertainment brands and is notably referenced as the pulse of pop culture. As editor-in-chief of Hollywood Unlocked, Lee delivers fast-breaking, social buzzing-entertainment interviews and coverage around the clock.
Since its inception in 2015, Hollywood Unlocked can be found in the nation’s top news and entertainment shows such as: The Real, Wendy Williams, NY Post, Complex, MSNBC, NPR, Us Weekly, Vanity Fair and more. The millennial audience-driven platform continues to produce thousands of hours of content and drives engagement of over 550 million impressions per month. The radio subsidiary of Hollywood Unlocked, Hollywood Unlocked Uncensored, is feeding the eager demands of today’s consumers about its favorite celebrities, it's also creating unforgettable trending moments with star guests such as Cardi B, Amber Rose, Abby Lee Miller, Nick Cannon and more. In an ever-evolving journalism industry, Hollywood Unlocked also totes a strategic media partnership with undefeated boxing champion, Floyd Mayweather.
In the competitive world of entertainment, Lee has elevated his brand recognition as a pivotal voice on the VH1 show “Love & Hip Hop Hollywood” and the fresh new personality on MTV2's “Wild N' Out.” It's all in the numbers, as Lee's influence reaches over 7 million dedicated viewers each week. Lee continues to shine as the t
alent and face of the Hollywood Unlocked brand. Media Strategist, Entrepreneur, and Thought Leader...Jason Lee is just getting started.
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