Over at the homestead it was easy for her to lose herself in hard work. To try to forget about the handsome cowboy whose arm she was now holding. The cowboy who'd left Inspiration, but who was now back for good.
"What did you think of the service?" she asked.
Logan's brows furrowed. "It's the first time I've been in church for a long while." He smiled. "It was good, though. It felt right for me to be there. Especially with you and the children sitting alongside me."
Once again, she was startled by his candor. By his readiness to speak his mind to her. "Oh," was all she could say.
"I figure we'll be regular churchgoers from now on," he continued.
"I'm glad to hear that," Kirsty said.
Logan led her up onto the boardwalk. She was glad to see there weren't many folks strolling on the boardwalk. Main Street was deserted and the stores were closed. It would give her a chance to speak her mind.
"What did you want to say to me?" Logan asked.
Kirsty cleared her throat. "I feel like I have to explain something to you. When you saw me the other day outside the mercantile, I guess you noticed I wasn't my usual self."
Logan quirked a brow, "I sure did. Seemed to me you were worried about something. And I think I know what it was."
Kirsty's eyes widened. "You do?"
Logan nodded. He sighed heavily and paused a moment, as if weighing up his next words. "Gossip. That's the reason you looked so worried."
Kirsty halted, released Logan's arm and turned to face him. "How do you know that?"
Logan's jaw tightened. "I heard something when I was in the cafe. Some women were talking."
"About you and me?" Kirsty asked.
When Logan nodded, Kirsty felt a heavy weight sink in her stomach. "And I didn't like what they were saying," Logan said firmly.
Kirsty moved closer to Logan and rested a hand on his arm. "Were they talking about when you and the children were at my place?"
To her surprise, Logan shook his head. "No. Only about me. Nothing about the children." He rubbed his jaw. "Thankfully, they were left out of the picture the woman was painting."
Kirsty frowned. "Who was she?"
"I don't know her name," Logan replied. "But she was at the church today."
Kirsty dragged in a deep breath and swallowed. "I saw a few people looking at us."
"They can look at us all they like, Kirsty," Logan said. His voice was suddenly stern. "And they can think whatever they want. We know the truth."
Kirsty nodded thoughtfully. He was right. She and Logan knew what had really happened on that night. And it had all been perfectly innocent.
"Stories have a way of getting out of hand," Logan said evenly. "I can't say I like it. And I'm stumped if I know what we can do about it."
"The children," Kirsty murmured.
Logan's brows became ridges. "What about them?"
Kirsty looked pleadingly at Logan. "I can't stand the thought of any of this affecting Jack and Alice."
"How could that be?" Logan asked. She could hear the concern in his voice.
Kirsty gazed into Logan's dark eyes. She saw the worry in them. "If we don't do something to prove these folks wrong this could have a lasting impact on the children." She paused and then added: "And on you, too."
Logan straightened, drawing his shoulders back. "I can look after myself. They won't dare say a word to my face." He hesitated, obviously considering her words. "But, you're right. I won't let anything harm those children." Then he added in a voice that shook. "They mean everything to me."
Kirsty smiled at Logan. "I know they do. I saw the way you looked at them when we were in church. Like you were proud of them, and glad you were there with them." She grinned. "They think the world of you, Logan. Can't you see that?"
"Maybe," Logan said. He sounded pleased with her observation. Glancing at her he added: "You notice things about me, don't you."
Kirsty gazed into Logan's eyes and felt her heart warm instantly. It was a wonderful sensation. One she savored for a long moment. His concern for the children drew her to him. Confirmed her earlier impression that Logan was a different man from the one who'd left Inspiration. From the one who'd teased her mercilessly when they'd been at school together. This Logan Kincaid was someone to whom she could seriously consider becoming more than just a friend. As if sensing her thought, Logan's eyes shimmered slightly. This time, her heart quickened.
Dragging her attention back to the moment, she scooped her arm inside his. They resumed their measured pace along the boardwalk. Trying to clear her mind, Kirsty fought to come up with a solution to their problem. Because it wasn't just her reputation which was at stake. It was also the future of Logan's children that hung in the balance. Guilt by association was what came to Kirsty's mind as she walked alongside Logan.
Logan halted suddenly. He turned to face her. Taking her by her gloved hands, he peered excitedly into her eyes. "I think I have a way of dealing with this."
"You do?"
Logan nodded. "If people are convinced you and I are more than just friends, then maybe we should do something to prove them right."
Kirsty frowned at Logan. "Like what?"
Logan's fingers tightened gently around her own. Leaning closer, he spoke softly. "Let them think I'm courting you."
Kirsty gasped. "What!"
Logan's eyes brightened suddenly. "They already think you and I have feelings for each other. Isn't that right?"
Kirsty nodded. "I guess so." If only he knew how he was making her feel, right now, she told herself.
"If you and I and the children spend more time at the homestead, and in town, then maybe folks will stop talking about us in the way they've been doing until now." Logan's eyes shifted from side to side as he considered his idea.
"Won't that make things worse?" Kirsty asked.
"They'll start thinking that our friendship is like it was when we were young. Only this time, we're putting the interests of the children before everything else."
"Is that all we'll be doing?" she asked, trying not to sound as if what he was suggesting also had tempting implications for herself and Logan.
"It'll give the children a chance to spend more time at the homestead." Logan grinned. "They haven't stopped talking about it since we were there. Especially since they've seen the terrible houses for sale in town."
Kirsty realized she hadn't asked him about his house hunting. Judging by what he'd just said, it hadn't been going too well. Maybe Logan was right. If they acted in such a way as to confirm what people were thinking, then it might take the sting out of the opinions drifting around town. Folks might actually believe that her and Logan had a future together.
Of course she knew that wasn't true. Kirsty told herself it was an impossibility. But, she was willing do anything if it would fix things for the children's sake. Perhaps the gossip would die down fast if the whole town believed Kirsty and Logan were about to form a family.
"What do you think?" Logan asked.
"Does this mean you and the children will be visiting the homestead on a regular basis?" Kirsty asked.
"We won't just be visiting. We'll be coming to help out in whatever way we can," Logan replied. "And whenever you need help in town, we can do that too. We'll look like a regular family."
Kirsty thought about that for a long moment. "Just what do you think you and the children will be able to do if you all come to the homestead."
Logan grinned. "That's for you to decide. It's your place, after all."
Kirsty peered intently at Logan. "Let's get this straight. You want us to pretend to be courting? And, if we do a good job of that, then you reckon the gossip will die down?"
"It's worth a shot," Logan said. "You know that if we deny everything that'll just make things worse. This way we take control of the situation. And Jack and Alice get to spend time at the homestead with you." His gaze softened and she felt her heart quicken again. Was that really his plan? Was he willing to put on
a show for the benefit of onlookers? Or was there something more personal involved?
"Isn't that pretending something that isn't true?" Kirsty asked.
It was then that Logan took one last step. He reached out and took her gently by the arms. "Who says I'm pretending, Kirsty?" His voice was low and deep and slow. "If we do this, will you be pretending?"
Kirsty tried to draw in a calming breath, but her chest was suddenly tight. She heard a roaring in her ears as her pulse pounded furiously. She was glad no-one else was on the boardwalk to see this. She was a moment away from tumbling into Logan's arms. The thought of doing that made her heart beat faster.
Kirsty tried to swallow, but her throat was inexplicably tight. Did he have any idea how he was affecting her with all of this? If she did agree to his proposal, how was she going to cope wth Logan being around the homestead? Even if it was only during the daytime, she knew it would be difficult to control her feelings. Up to this moment, she hadn't realized just how much she felt about Logan. And, judging from the expression in his eyes, he had feelings for her, too. This could all become terribly complicated, she told herself.
"What do you think?" Logan asked, breaking the spell.
"I'm not sure, Logan," Kirsty said softly. "I'm not sure how I feel about this."
She felt Logan's fingers tighten gently against her arms. "I know exactly how I feel about it. Maybe they've done us both a favor. Maybe this is what we both need." His voice was low and steady.
"Need?" she asked.
Logan nodded. "So we can find out how we truly feel about one another, Kirsty."
Now, she felt her legs weaken. Leaning back slightly, she rested against the boardwalk hitching rail. Still, Logan held onto her arms. His gaze softened even more. "Logan," she murmured. "Please. You know this can't be."
Logan's brows furrowed. "Why not? I saw the way you looked at me earlier. And back at the homestead. Don't deny you have no feelings for me, Kirsty. Because I have plenty for you. I didn't know it for sure until I came back home."
"Home?" she asked.
Logan nodded. "This is my home. Even though I drifted too long, I always knew that someday I'd come back. And that you'd be here."
"What are you saying?" she asked.
"This is a chance for us to find out the truth, Kirsty," Logan said firmly. There was conviction in his voice now. "About us."
Her breath caught in her throat. She gazed into Logan's eyes and saw the utter sincerity in them. Suddenly, she caught a movement at the side of her vision. Turning her head, she saw a couple emerge from a nearby street and start to make their way toward her and Logan.
Panicked, Kirsty moved quickly away from Logan. "I think we should be getting back," she stated.
Logan's gaze shifted to the advancing couple. He nodded.
This time, as they made their way back toward the church, Kirsty didn't rest her arm inside Logan's. This time there was more than mere physical distance between them both. Kirsty thought about what he'd proposed to her. Of course it might be a way of fixing the damage which had been done. But it might also lead to something much more complicated. A situation that would test her feelings for Logan.
As she thought about that outcome to their upcoming charade, Kirsty felt emotion sweep through her like the torrent of a river.
Kirsty glanced at Logan, realizing for the first time that his intention wasn't just to help her regain her reputation and protect the children.
For the first time Kirsty believed that, if everything went according to his plan, Logan Kincaid intended to ask for her hand in marriage.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Logan drove the buckboard down the trail, holding on tight to the reins. Next to him sat Jack and Alice. They were both dressed in practical outdoor wear. Jack wore jeans, a plaid shirt and woolen jacket. Alice wore a practical gingham gown, her overcoat and a hat. Both of them had on strong boots which Logan had bought for them at the mercantile.
The trail cut down into a valley and toward a distant forest. Logan glanced at the children and saw the visible pleasure on their faces. Jack's eyes were bright with excitement. Alice was holding onto her hat to stop it being blown off by the fast-rushing wind. They were loving every moment of freedom out here in the wild country. Logan smiled to himself. Bringing the children out today had been a good decision.
It was Wednesday and they were paying their first real visit to the MacAnliss homestead. Logan had persuaded the schoolteacher, Miss Chalmers, that the children would benefit from an outing so they could learn things about the local area and also about how to look after a farm.
Miss Chalmers had already agreed that the children needn't attend school every single day for the first few weeks. She figured it might be wise for Jack and Alice to gradually get used to being in school. She was sympathetic about their recent difficulties, aware that the children would need time to adjust to their new life. There'd be nothing gained by putting additional strain on the children. They'd been through enough this year.
Logan had agreed, especially since it gave him a good opportunity to bring the children out to the MacAnliss place. Logan flicked the reins, driving the buckboard on into the forest. Jack and Alice gazed up at the canopy of trees as the buckboard hurtled along the forest trail. The air was cooler in here, and the light had a beautiful soft, green hue which made everything seem almost unreal. Logan felt as if he'd brought the children out on some kind of special adventure. It reminded him of his times when he'd been drifting. Those days were gone, but the lessons he'd learned would never be forgotten.
When they got to the MacAnliss place, that would be where the real adventure would start, Logan told himself. He thought back to his conversation on Sunday. To the proposal he'd made to Kirsty. Because it had been a kind of proposal. Thinking back to his visit to church, Logan recalled what had come to his mind as he'd sat in the pew next to Kirsty. Seeing the way everyone had been looking at her had made him realize there was only one way to fix this situation. The possible permanent damage to her reputation.
Marriage to Kirsty.
He also knew that if he'd come straight out with a marriage proposal on Sunday, she would have turned him down flat. And he wouldn't have blamed her for doing so. It would have looked like victory for the gossip-mongers in town. For those who had assumed the worst about Kirsty. And about himself.
He knew those with the loose tongues were wrong. He also knew that judgment was not for them to pass. Didn't Scripture caution against judging others?
There was only one judge who knew the truth. The Lord. He alone knew that nothing had passed between Kirsty and Logan. He alone knew what was in each others hearts. For sure, Logan now knew what was in his heart. The prospect of Kirsty suffering, of losing everything she'd ever wanted, her perfect reputation, even her homestead, had awakened a powerful feeling inside him. One he hadn't known was there. A desire to care for her. To protect her. And, given time, even to love her.
And, as he'd sat listening to Pastor Joseph, an idea had drifted unbidden into Logan's mind. At first he'd been shocked by the simplicity of it. But then, as he'd walked alongside Kirsty, turning the idea over in his mind, he'd come to the conclusion that there was no other way. For Kirsty. And for the children.
Logan knew in his heart that the Lord wanted himself and Kirsty to be together. The Lord had brought Logan back to Inspiration so that the children could have a true family. A mother and father who loved them. Even if that meant getting used to a whole new kind of life on the homestead, Logan was convinced that it was the right future for them all.
He'd seen the way Kirsty had resisted his suggestion that they pretend to be courting. She'd been shocked by the proposal. Maybe she didn't believe him. Well, as far as he was concerned, there was nothing pretend about this courtship. It was real, and Logan was determined to see it through to its natural conclusion. He wasn't going to let this chance at happiness, for himself, Kirsty and the children, slip through his fingers.
He'd witnessed the way the children had warmed to Kirsty. Jack and Alice liked Kirsty. It was that simple. There seemed to be a natural affinity between the children and the beautiful owner of the homestead.
Logan had seen the way the children had looked at him whenever he was around Kirsty. There was a delight and joy in their eyes every time Logan spoke with Kirsty. He was sure the children would be happy with a family life on the homestead. But he was also realistic enough to know that it would be a big change for them. It might be wise to give Jack and Alice a chance to get to know what homestead life would be like.
The coming days and weeks would be difficult. Not least because Kirsty seemed cautious, even fearful of what might happen. Logan had no doubt she would resist his suggestions, as well as every offer of help and support. Overcoming Kirsty's resistance might prove difficult. However, if it meant she would become his wife, and mother to the children, then that would be a blessing for which Logan would never stop thanking the Lord.
The buckboard emerged from the forest. The trail wound down into a broad valley. At the far end he saw Kirsty's homestead.
"We're there," he announced to the children, giving them a broad grin. "You looking forward to learning how a homestead works?"
Jack and Alice exchanged looks. Then Jack peered at Logan. "Are you and Kirsty getting to be good friends?"
"We always have been. Ever since we were both young," Logan replied. He knew what Jack was trying to get at, even in his child-like way.
Alice squinted at Logan. "Jack thinks we're all coming to live on the homestead. Is that true?"
Logan hesitated, focusing his attention on the trail. The children had clearly been talking to each other about himself and Kirsty. Maybe wondering where all of this might be going. He didn't want them worrying about the future. They deserved the truth, as far as Logan knew it at this moment. "Kirsty and I are real close. Maybe we're thinking we could be together for good."
The Cowboy’s Frontier Courtship Page 9
