He returned to his seat. “Okay, let me ask you this.” His tense features relaxed a bit and he no longer looked ready to explode. “Over these last couple of months, you’ve accepted God into your life, right?” She nodded and met his intense gaze then waited for him to continue. “If you could go back to that day with the knowledge that God existed. That he sent His Son to die for you. Would you make the same decision?”
Ellie froze. Would she have made the same decision…if she’d believed in God? She buried her head in her hands and whispered, “No. No I wouldn’t. I would have tried to help her, and I wouldn’t have given up on Connie.”
Zach grabbed a napkin and wiped away the tears rolling down his cheek and handed her one. “I didn’t think you would. When we turned our lives over to God, we changed. Our whole way of thinking changed.” He turned those blue eyes, so like her own, on her. “You have to make this right with your sister. She needs you now, even if you’re not a match. Maybe I could be the donor.”
She’d watched her son turn into a man before her very eyes. He was no longer a child. He’d turn his life over to God and accepted him into the depths of his being. God had blessed her beyond measure when he’d given her Zach.
Tears cascaded down her cheeks, and she stumbled to her feet at the same time Zach got up as well. They grabbed each other and held on tight. “I love you, Zach. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. If you hadn’t found God first, I don’t know if I would have ever come to know Him. Thank you for showing me the way.”
Pulling her closer still, Zach tucked her head under his chin and rocked her back and forth. “I love you too, Mom.” After he released her, he grinned. “Now let’s see if we can find my aunt. This is sooo lit. I have an aunt.”
She breathed the first complete breath since she’d started her confession.
He forgives me.
Thank you, God.
I couldn’t have gotten through this without You.
Together, they began the search. Although they googled her sister’s name, her old address, and her place of employment, they couldn’t find a phone number for Connie. Finally, Zach had to do his homework, so she continued searching the internet.
She did find out her sister no longer worked at the diner. Connie didn’t have a Facebook page or Twitter account. Ellie came up with nothing. At midnight, she hung her head in defeat and closed her laptop, gave up and went to bed, exhausted from the emotions and stress of telling Zach.
Since she’d already requested a personal day so she could go to her appointment, the next morning she prepared Zach his favorite breakfast. Before they ate, they clasped hands and prayed over the food. Ellie’s heart swelled. Zach was her amazing son. She was so blessed.
He kept the conversation easy between them, still excited over having an aunt and determined to find her. Once they finished their meal, he bussed her cheek. “See you later. I’ll be praying you’re a match for Aunt Connie.” His brows shot up. “Mom? Maybe your doctor will know how we can contact her?”
Hope filled her. That was a distinct possibility. “I’ll ask when I see her this morning.”
“That’s great, that’s just great.” He kissed her again and grabbed his backpack, then rushed out the door to catch his bus.
When she arrived in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, she thumbed through a couple of magazines while she waited, silently praying she’d be a good match. After fifteen minutes, a nurse called her name, and she followed him to an office.
She took a seat in front of a large oak desk to wait for the doctor and clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking, as she waited to learn whether she’d be able to help her sister.
The door opened and the doctor entered wearing a white lab coat. “Good morning, Ms. Branson. It’s nice to meet you at last. I’ve received the results from Connie Branson’s doctor at Downstate Medical Center, and I’m happy to say you’re an excellent match.” Her expression turned solemn. “Your sister’s health has taken a downward turn, so it’s fortuitous you came forward to be tested…she can’t last much longer. I know you told me you wanted to remain anonymous. Has anything changed in that regard?”
At peace with her decision, Ellie told the doctor, “I’ve decided I want her to know, but I don’t have a way to contact her. Could I have her doctor’s number? I would want to talk to him before I see Connie anyway. I wouldn’t want to do anything that could hurt her chances of a successful outcome.”
The doctor smiled. “I’m pleased you’ve decided to tell your sister, and I do agree, it would be best to contact her through her doctor. I will email him with your information.”
She was anxious to do it now that she’d decided. She prayed all would go smoothly. “Thank you, Dr. Shultz, for facilitating the testing for me.”
“I was happy to do it.” She met her gaze. “I believe her doctor will want to act fast. How much notice will you need?”
Ellie paused. She still had plenty of time due her at work, and Pippa was more than competent. “I’ll speak to my manager and let her know I might not have much notice. I look forward to hearing from Connie’s physician.”
Ellie left the office with her heart filled with hope. There was a distinct bounce to her step. When she reached her SUV, she turned her phone on, and it buzzed. She had a text. It was from Jason. Her pulse raced as she quickly read:
Jason: I got YUR text.
Can’t wait to meet U for dinner.
See U at 4.
She typed a quick response, keeping it positive.
Ellie: Great. See U at Marcel’s.
Since she’d texted him earlier asking him to meet her, she’d experienced several moments where her anxiety had become so bad, she’d feared she’d have another panic attack. The only thing that had helped was prayer.
She slid behind the wheel of her vehicle and started the engine after she’d secured her seatbelt. Using her rear camera, she carefully backed out of the parking space and turned toward her house, praying the entire way there that God would give her the right words when she told Jason about her sister.
When she arrived home, she spent the rest of the morning cleaning. She scrubbed her tile floors on her hands and knees then scoured her bathrooms, anything to keep her mind off her meeting with Jason.
How would he react when she told him she’d allowed her only sister to believe she’d perished when the towers fell? What if he decided he didn’t want to see her anymore?
No, I’ve given the results to God and shouldn’t keep taking it back.
Saying a quick prayer, she returned to her cleaning less anxious over her upcoming meeting with Jason. God would keep her strong as long as she got out of his way.
At three, she quickly cleaned up and changed, and by three-thirty she left for Marcel’s. In a few minutes, she turned into the parking lot and parked. She checked her reflection in her vizor mirror.
Her face looked paler than usual, so she grabbed her emergency makeup bag and added a bit of blush to her cheeks. Inhaling and exhaling a few times, her heart rate slowed enough for her to go inside the restaurant.
The hostess greeted her. “Welcome to Marcel’s. How many in your party?”
“Two. I’m meeting a friend,” she replied. “He should be here soon. Could we have one of the booths in back?”
“Of course.” The hostess led her to the corner one in the rear of the dining area. It was the most secluded of all the booths, and she gave the woman a grateful smile.
She slid into the booth to wait. Bowing her head, she waited for God’s peace to calm her fears as she silently prayed. Dear Lord, help me explain to Jason why I made those decisions when my world fell apart. Give me the courage to do this in the least hurtful way. Soften his heart when I tell him about Connie. In Your Son’s name. Amen.
* * *
Jason pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant Ellie had chosen. Something didn’t sit right with him. Her first text had been almost terse when she asked hi
m to meet her for an early dinner.
After locking his truck with his fob, he strode to the double doors and entered. The hostess greeted him. “Welcome to Marcel’s. How many in your party?”
“I’m meeting a friend for dinner,” he explained.
“Ah, would that be Ms. Branson?” she asked.
He smiled. “It would indeed.”
“If you’ll come with me, I’ll take you to her.” He followed her into the main dining room and looked around, taking in the white linen-covered tables, and the artwork on the walls. It added a certain ambiance to the restaurant. He could see why Ellie liked the place.
Ellie sat in a booth in the back with her head bent low. Could she be praying? A ball of lead formed in his gut. His earlier uneasiness returned, even stronger than before. Had she decided she didn’t want to see him anymore?
Once he reached the booth, she raised her head and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. He slid onto the padded seat across from her. Keeping his tone light, he said, “Great place. Why haven’t we eaten here before?”
She sipped water from her glass then sat it on the coaster. “I’m not sure. Zach and I used to come here almost every Sunday. Now that we’re attending church, and having lunch with you and our other friends, we haven’t come lately.”
“If the food’s as outstanding as the restaurant appears, maybe we can suggest it to our group.” He opened the menu. “So, what do you normally order?”
Her face didn’t have its usual animation, causing another bout of unease to race through him. “I love their grilled salmon, but Zach likes their endless spaghetti and meatballs. I’ve had the eggplant Florentine before as well, and it’s excellent.”
“Oh, I love eggplant. I’ll try that.” The server approached and took their orders then left them alone. Ellie fiddled with her dinnerware, lining it up perfectly straight. He had to know what had her so unsettled. “Hey, are you okay? You seem anxious. Even your text seemed off.”
She met his gaze. “I do want to discuss something with you, but let’s wait until after we eat, okay?”
“Whatever’s best for you.” But, unable to let it go, but afraid of what she would say, he swallowed the lump in his throat and blurted out, “Have you decided you don’t want to see me anymore?”
Her eyes opened wide. “No, of course not. It’s nothing like that. Something’s come up involving the decisions I made after 9/11. I’ll tell you more once we’ve eaten.”
The knot in his belly eased. Although he couldn’t imagine how decisions made so long ago could cause her so much anxiety. “Sure. I’m starving anyway. I skipped lunch when I found out we were meeting for an early dinner.”
The server returned with their drinks and salads. The mixed greens tasted amazing, and even the bowl was chilled. Normally, he ate vegetables because they were good for him, but this was the best blend of romaine and arugula, topped with grape tomatoes and cucumbers he’d eaten.
While they ate their salads, they discussed the upcoming holiday. Thanksgiving was only two days away and Lynda and Russ had invited everyone to their house. Their home was large and could easily hold their entire group and the kids would have plenty of room to spread out.
While the server removed their plates, he requested two glasses of merlot. “I thought wine would go nice with our entrees.”
“I suppose one glass wouldn’t hurt.” Again, her eyes didn’t light up when she smiled. It had him wondering again why something that had happened so long ago was coming up now. And why it seemed to be having such an effect on her.
She’d shut him down when he’d asked about Zach’s father. Perhaps she was ready to tell him more. After all, they’d grown much closer over the last couple of months. It was only natural to share things of a deeper level of intimacy at this point in their relationship.
The server returned with their entrees. He took a bite of the eggplant. The blend of Italian spices, garlic and cheese tasted incredible. The spinach added a lot to the dish. After several minutes, he glanced at Ellie, and she’d barely taken a bite. “Is something wrong with the salmon?”
“Oh, no. It’s delicious. It’s me. I’ve lost my appetite.” Her brows drew together. “I guess I’m more anxious than I’d realized. I thought if I ate, it would bolster my courage. Please don’t let me keep you from enjoying your meal.”
“As you can see, I’ve enjoyed my food a lot. It’s almost gone.” He reached across the table and touched her hand. “Since you don’t feel like eating, maybe you can tell me what’s got you all twisted in knots?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“Why not start with what caused you to leave Zach’s father?” he asked.
“The day before 9/11, I took a pregnancy test, and obviously it was positive.” She drew in a breath. “That night, my ex-boyfriend wanted to go to the video store. He’d been drinking. He accused me of flirting with a guy while we were there. He called me a word I found extremely offensive. Then he complained about my friend, Amy.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. He slipped from his side of the booth and took the seat next to her. “Was Amy a close friend?” More tears slipped down her face, and he gently wiped them away. “Ah, sweetheart. If this is too painful, maybe you don’t need to tell me.”
“No, I have to. I want you to know everything.” Then she told him how Lucas had grabbed her and how she ran that night. That she’d slept on Amy’s couch. “The next morning, I went to the bank to withdraw my money. Lucas had a debit card to my account, so he could have wiped me out.”
“Okay. That makes sense. Then what happened?” he asked, careful to keep his voice calm.
“I left the bank, then everything changed. I watched the first plane hit. My office was on the floor directly above where it hit. I went a little insane.” Ellie’s body shook, and she closed her eyes. “I made some…bad…very bad decisions.”
Jason slipped an arm around her as she buried her head against his shoulder and cried. His heart ached for her as she relived that terrifying day. She told him how she’d sat in a coffee shop staring at a TV for hours before she returned to Amy’s apartment. How she’d watched her friend’s TV until she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.
Her friend never came home. After a few days, she accepted that her best friend had died. He could only imagine how devastating it must have been. The world had stopped that day for everyone. “So, you lost your job as well?”
“From what I read in the papers, and saw on TV, no one on the floors where the planes hit made it out alive.” Then she told him how she’d decided to leave New York. That she’d taken Amy’s identity. He’d had to choke back his response when she shared that revelation. She really must have been scared of that Lucas guy to do that.
“So, Amy didn’t have any family?” he asked, trying to keep the growing unease from his voice, but knowing it was impossible with so many thoughts and emotions racing through him.
Ellie stiffened and pulled away. “She didn’t.” Her tone had sharpened. “Her brother had died and so had her mother. She was all alone.” She paused, then rushing her words, she said, “I pooled her money with mine. She had a car, so I just drove away and left all the insanity behind.”
Jason’s gut twisted. Ellie had taken another person’s property. He had a hard time reconciling that information with the Ellie he knew. Then she turned to him, her expression stark, and his heart kicked up even more. “I have a sister.” Her eyes never wavered from his. “To this day, she believes…I died on 9/11.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ellie waited for Jason to say something, but he remained stoic and silent, unlike the man she’d grown to love. Then, he stood swiftly. “I have to go,” he told her, his voice unyielding, again, nothing like the warm, mellow tone, nothing like his usual voice. Her heart shattered. “I can’t hear anything else right now.” His face looked like carved stone, his eyes no longer a sparkling green. His body had become stiff.
Her hopes plummeted as he turned, and without a backward glance, strode away. Too broken to move, she sat staring at the food on their plates, hers barely touched, but she wasn’t truly seeing it. She was seeing the destruction of their relationship. Had she lost him for good? She wanted to run after him, to beg him to talk, but then a still voice, deep inside, told her to remain still.
The server approached. “Are you finished, ma’am?” Ellie nodded, and the woman cleared the table. “Your friend took care of the bill. Can I bring you anything else?”
“No, thank you.” The server left her alone. She didn’t know how long she remained in the restaurant, but it had to be quite some time because most of the other tables had filled with patrons.
Reaching inside to her inner core of strength she’d depended on when faced with loss, she pulled herself together. After laying her napkin on the table, she grabbed her jacket and purse then walked out of the restaurant.
Although her legs barely held her up, she made it to her vehicle with her dignity intact and managed to push the start button. As her engine warmed, she bowed her head.
Dear Lord, get me home.
In a daze, she managed to drive to her house and park her vehicle in the garage. She didn’t want to go inside and face her son. Zach would notice something was wrong. Thank goodness, she hadn’t mentioned her meeting with Jason. She wouldn’t be able to talk about him.
At last, she slid out of her SUV and walked into her kitchen. A note scribbled in her son’s typical scrawl stood propped against the fruit bowl on the table.
Mom. Went to John’s to study.
Be home by eight.
Love, Zach.
She laid the note down and glanced at the clock on the stove. Seven o’clock. Where had the time gone? Her phone vibrated, and she glanced at the screen. She’d received a text from Lynda.
After Shock- Ellie's Chance Page 16
