Nora and I stared at each other, then ran around the corner.
The door opened, and people started filing out. I watched for Fabio, trying to catch a glimpse of my best friend’s blond hair.
Where was he?
And then I saw him.
“Hey, that’s—” Nora began, but I covered her mouth.
Fabio was walking by with someone who looked official. One of Fabio’s hands rattled against the other, and the corners of his eyes were pinched like he had a headache. The thing that stood out? The outline of a phone in his pocket.
Either he’d seen my text and decided not to respond, or he’d turned it off to focus. This wasn’t the right time.
After they disappeared into a conference room, I waved London over to us.
“What the heck, Grace?” she asked. “That was your chance!”
I started toward the exit, not bothering to sneak past the receptionist. “I couldn’t distract him. Not now. Not with this on the line.”
They followed behind me, trying to argue, but I knew Fabio. He needed this internship.
“Come on,” I said. “How about that pedicure? We’ll be back for the finale.”
Twenty-Three
Fabio
I’d never played harder in my life. My thumbs flew over the controller, going through the motions I knew so well. But I couldn’t just play regularly like everyone else. I had to find ways to be unique.
Time flew by, just like it always did when I was gaming. The guy called time, made a few final notes on his pad, and stood up. My hands shook as I set the controller down.
All that practice, all that stress, had been for that ten minutes. And now it was over.
I blew an unsteady breath across my lips.
“Good to go?” the guy said.
I rubbed my hands over my jeans and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Good deal.”
We walked out of the room together and down the hallway. My heart was still racing. I knew I’d done well, but had it been enough? Only time would tell.
We entered the bigger conference room, and he called out a new name. Some other kid went past me. I recognized him from school. Why hadn’t we ever hung out? Had I always been so preoccupied with Grace I’d missed the people around me?
I kept moving toward Grandma and Grandpa. This wasn’t the time. I couldn’t think about all I’d missed out on chasing Grace.
Grandma looked up from her book just in time to see me walking toward her. Her lips spread into a nervous smile, deepening every one of her wrinkles.
When I got close enough, she said, “So... How’d it go?”
Grandpa set his crossword puzzle down, waiting for my answer.
“I did as well as I could.”
He stood up and clapped my arm. “That’s all we could ask for, kid.”
A tiny stream of relief flowed from my head to my feet. Grandma and Grandpa didn’t get the whole gaming thing, but they’d been there for me. Most people’s parents harped on them about playing too many games. Mine had cheered me on.
“Thanks,” I said and hugged him.
Grandma stood up and hugged me next. “I’m so proud of you, sugar,” she said in my ear. She tightened the hug for a second before letting me go. “I bet you mopped the floor with these kids.”
I snorted.
Grandpa picked up his crossword puzzle. “It’d be the first time Fabio mopped.”
Grandma giggled and mussed up my hair. “It’s about time, huh?”
It sure was.
But we wouldn’t know for another two hours. The two longest hours of my life.
Times like these, I wished my mom was around. That I knew who my dad was. What would Mom have done? Would she be supportive like Grandma and Grandpa? Would she have come along to support me?
Would she be proud?
I thought of the framed photo of her I kept on my dresser. She’d been pregnant—the only picture of us I had together. And she’d wrapped her arms around her stomach like she couldn’t wait to hug me.
I imagined what her arms would have felt like.
I needed them now.
I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind, to soothe the burning of oncoming tears.
I needed some Kleenexes.
That just made me miss Grace even more.
How had she not texted me this morning? She knew how important this competition was to me. She’d even planned to come and wait with us, but now she was nowhere to be seen.
I should have known spilling my guts wouldn’t end well.
But I’d done it anyway.
Part of me wanted to text Grace, tell her to have a nice life. Without me. But I kept my phone off. If I was being honest with myself, I didn’t want to look at my phone and see no texts from the girl I loved. To get the confirmation of how little I actually meant to her.
So I left it in my pocket and went to get some food from the buffet table. Food wouldn’t let me down.
Wow, that was pathetic.
But still. I stood by it.
I carried a plate loaded with snacks and desserts and sat at the table, steadily working through the stack.
Microphone feedback squealed throughout the room, and I covered my ears with the clean parts of my hands. “Holy cow.”
Grandpa twisted the knob on his hearing aid. “Ah. Much better.”
I rolled my eyes. For the first time in my life, I was jealous of his old man ears. But I wasn’t telling him that.
Finally, the squealing stopped, and it was replaced by a voice. “Testing, testing. Can you hear me in the back?”
The whole of China could probably hear him. I twisted toward the people in the back-row nodding.
“Alrighty then,” the person said. “The judges are convening now, and we will announce the winners in one hour.” He pointed at the projector screen behind him with a giant digital clock display. The seconds counted down. Fifty-nine. Fifty-eight.
Way to heighten the sense of dread, dude.
Grandma looked at me, her eyes scrunched at the corners. “You okay, honey? You look a little pale.”
Yeah. Panic can do that to you. “I’m fine.”
She nodded but looked at me a little longer.
“I’m going to use the bathroom,” I said.
“Me too,” Grandpa practically yelled and stood up.
Okay, time for the hearing aids to come back on.
We walked to the bathroom in silence. Well, unless you counted my gurgling stomach. God, I felt sick.
Going to the bathroom helped.
Thankfully.
The hallway was a little more crowded on the way back to the big conference room. Apparently, other people were coming in for the awards ceremony. According to the massive effing clock, we had about forty minutes and thirty-four seconds left, though.
Grandpa and I sat down, and Grandma looked me over.
“You look a little better,” she said.
“Thanks.”
Her lips twisted to the side. “Why don’t we all do a crossword together?”
Grandpa gave her the side eye.
She glared.
“Fine,” he said. “Six-letter word for strange person.”
“Weirdo,” I said.
He grunted. “Wrong.”
I bet we were all wishing these forty minutes would fly by.
They didn’t.
What were you expecting? Of course they didn’t.
I needed more Blue Mountain.
Was the fabric of my being splitting at the seams?
It felt like it.
Deep breaths, Fabio.
Really deep breaths.
Not so fast.
Grandma rubbed my back.
Three minutes left.
I looked around for a brown paper sack. Why hadn’t they included that with the lanyard?
Two minutes.
My gut gurgled. Great.
One minute...
That same guy took the stage, holding a few
envelopes in his hands. “Hey, hey, hey,” he said, Fat Albert style.
THE RESULTS! GET TO THE RESULTS ALREADY!
“I’m sure you’re excited to hear the results, but we have a few people to thank.”
I. Was. Going. To. Implode.
He went through a long list of people I didn’t know, and it took way too much time. The clock said zero seconds. WHY WASN’T HE READING THE RESULTS?
“Now, what you’ve all been waiting for...” He paused dramatically.
Cool it, Alex Trebek.
“We have several honorable mentions, who will be receiving a beta edition of the new, unnamed FallOut game.”
He read off a few names, none of them mine.
People clapped.
I tried to breathe.
“In third place, winning the unnamed game and a hundred-dollar GameStop gift card, Joel Hullenberger.”
A breath of relief escaped my lungs. But maybe I shouldn’t have been so relieved. Only two people in this room filled with a hundred competitors could win now. Would I be one of them?
Joel went to the stage and shook hands with the guy, then stood off to the side.
“There was a close race between first and second place. We actually had quite a heated debate in the judges’ quarters...”
SPIT IT OUT ALREADY.
“The person winning second place will receive the unnamed game, a five-hundred-dollar shopping spree at GameStop and a fifteen-minute coaching session with one of our leading game developers... Fabio Forrester.”
My gut dropped. The oxygen in my lungs felt like lead. I’d come so close to everything I’d wanted, and I’d failed. Again.
“Come up here and get your prize, Fabio.”
I had to move. Had to force one leg in front of the other. I stumbled up the stairs and shook the guy’s hand. Took my envelope. Looked out over the crowd, and my gaze landed on the girl who mattered more than anything else in the world—the girl I needed to forget just like this stupid dream.
Twenty-Four
Grace
My heart broke for him as he stood there on the stage, looking out over the crowd.
His eyes met mine, and he looked away, pain clear on his face.
Fabio looked...lost.
The guy announced the first-place winner, and a roar ripped through the crowd as they cheered for this kid who wasn’t Fabio.
My heart broke a little more. I wanted to run up there and wrap Fabio in a hug, tell him that it was okay. This was just a bump in the road. If I knew anything, Fabio would work until he reached his dreams. He could pull it off. I knew he could.
The announcer told everyone to clap for the winners and sent them offstage.
I turned to Nora and London. “I’m going to go find him.”
They nodded, sorrow in their eyes. They might not have gotten it, but they could read a room.
I wound my way through the people, walking toward Fabio. In a way, I’d always been walking toward him. He was like a compass, pointing me toward my dreams, toward hope. Now, it was my turn to be that for him. I just hoped he’d let me.
I said a quick prayer, asking for the right words to comfort Fabio, but the closer I got to him, the more lost I felt.
He kept walking straight, so I called out his name to get his attention.
Fabio turned toward me with red-rimmed eyes. And then he looked away.
“Fabio,” I called again.
This time he turned back, his lips in a hard line. “What?” he snapped.
I stopped, shocked. This wasn’t the Fabio I knew.
“What do you want?” he asked.
“I...” I folded my arms around my stomach. “I just wanted to be here for you.”
“While it’s convenient?” he asked. “You couldn’t be here this morning? Or what about next year? Huh? How are you going to be ‘here’ for me from halfway across the freaking world?”
“Fabio, you’re upset, it’s—”
“It’s okay?” he finished. “Yeah, it might be for you. You can wash your hands of this.” He gestured at himself. “Of me.” He clenched his jaw.
“That’s not fair,” I said.
He quirked a brow, setting those sad eyes on me. I had to look away.
“See you around,” he said. “Or not.”
He turned his back on me, and for the second time, he was walking away. But this time it felt way more final. This time, I didn’t have any misgivings of getting a second chance. Fabio was done. Done with me.
I could feel my heart splitting in half, leaving this gaping hole where Fabio’s love used to be, whether I’d noticed it or not.
Thinking right now would have been the death of me. I walked back to Nora and London and said five words. “Get me out of here.”
They led me out to the SUV. London sat in the back seat with me, cradling my head on her lap as Nora drove us away. I cried harder than I ever had before. Fabio might have lost the competition, but I’d lost something far worse. Him.
I didn’t want to go home and face my family, hear another one of Cookie’s proverbs or hear her express her faith in me. I didn’t deserve it.
Instead, Nora took us to her house, and they hurried me up the stairs to her room. I buried myself under her down comforter.
“I just want to sleep,” I said, my voice breaking.
Nora swept my hair back. “Sleep. We’ll be downstairs.”
But I couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard I tried to close my eyes and drown out all the pain, Fabio’s face stayed fresh on my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about him—how I’d let him down.
I’d wanted to see how I would do without Fabio, and now I’d gotten my wish. Even thousands of miles apart, I knew Fabio was only a message away. That he’d be there for me when I came home. Now? I was fifteen minutes from his house, but I’d never felt farther from him. From the person who’d loved me through it all.
I picked up my phone and pulled up the images. I scrolled back, as far back as my photos went, and found one of Fabio and me from winter break. We’d done a full-blown Potter-thon, watching every single movie in the series, plus a pirated video of the Cursed Child.
We’d taken before and after photos. Nearly thirty hours awake hadn’t done either of us any favors.
Then I swiped to a picture of us from the Captain America sequel. We’d waited for the midnight showing and dressed up. If I curled up like a ball, I looked like a shield. Of course Fabio wanted to be Captain America.
I flipped forward. A selfie from the last day of school. His smile was so wide. I loved how that simple expression transformed his entire face.
My thumb moved that picture away. Us at that diner with all my empty plates spread out on the table. Fabio was giving me a thumbs up. I looked sick with too much food. We looked happy.
Then our first and last picture as an official couple, right outside the convention space.
I’d give anything to go back in time and tell him the truth right then. I’d hop in a time machine and tell him that I was going to China but that I would be a call, a text, a video chat away, and that Christmas in China would be amazing if he experienced it with me. So much of this mess would have been avoided if I’d just been honest with him.
I flipped over onto my back and hit the lock button, but that just brought up another picture of Fabio and me. Mom had taken it prom night. I was lifting up them hem of my prom dress and he had his pants hiked up to show off Converse shoes. I’d worn pink, he’d worn black, and we both had socks with golden snitches on them. Dobby would have been proud.
Fat tears leaked from my eyes, dripped down my face, and fell into my ears. What had I done? How could I have let a love like ours slip through my fingers?
Twenty-Five
Fabio
Who knew heartbreak was a literal term?
I didn’t.
But now, I understood it was. My chest felt like something inside was being sawed in half. Slowly. With a rusty spoon.
I curled up ti
ghter in my bed, trying to hold the pieces together. Whoever said time healed all wounds was an idiot. I’d been in my room for a couple of days already, and I felt just as bad as I had before.
Grace had come to the convention, just in time to watch me lose.
I unlocked my phone and went back to the message screen.
Grace: Good luck. You are going to do amazing.
She had texted, just minutes after I’d shut my phone off for the day. That made it a little harder to be mad at her. Which was what I needed to do if I ever wanted to get over her.
I tried to tell myself that the text didn’t mean anything. She was still going to China. I was still going to West Texas A&M. We still weren’t friends. Or dating. Or anything, really.
Ouch. My chest.
I’d been an idiot to tell her how I felt. An even bigger idiot saying all those things to her at FallCon, even if they were true. How could Grace change our plans to go to college together and leave it to her family to tell me?
My eyes started dripping, and I wished Grandpa could fix them like he did a leaky faucet.
But no. I had to deal with it on my own. And I knew I could. But it seemed so futile. What was the point in trying if I would just fail? I couldn’t even win a freaking gaming contest for a something I played nearly 24/7.
Okay, I knew I was crossing over into the territory of a pity party, but so what? Take a freaking streamer. If I was twenty-one, I’d buy some beer to cry into. But I wasn’t, and I couldn’t even throw a proper pity party.
A knock sounded on my bedroom door, and I hurried to wipe off my eyes.
“Yeah?” I called.
“It’s Grandma.” The door cracked open, and she walked in carrying a vase of calla lilies and a to-go box. I couldn’t smell it. Good. It probably would have made me sick.
“You got this delivery,” she said, holding up the vase. “And I brought you some food.”
I stared at the flowers. Just another reminder of what an idiot I was. I’d passed up on getting my AC fixed during one of the hottest summers on record so Grace could have flowers every month. It sounded pathetic, even to me.
Fabio vs. the Friend Zone (The Pen Pal Romance Series) Page 10
