by Amanda Heger
Eliza sighed and stepped out of the car. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Which, to be fair, was never. She was never going to be ready for this. Eliza had come up with plenty of stupid ideas in her life, but she feared this was her worst to date.
“Wait.” She planted her feet in the driveway and stared down at her ballet flats. Scuff marks marred one toe, a remnant of her many klutz moves. “I lied. I’m not ready. What if the Department comes to observe?”
Jake took a step back to stand beside her. The sleeves of his crisp button-down shirt had been rolled to his elbows, allowing the morning light to reflect off his obnoxiously perfect forearms. He stood silently beside her, full of easy confidence that only made Eliza’s nerves fray further. “Eliza, you’re going to do great. If the Department decided to observe you on this one, that would be good news. This is literally the simplest case I’ve ever seen.”
Easy for him to say. He’d spent the last decade doing the toughest enchantments in the world. Everything probably seemed simple in comparison. She was about to march into this house and ruin the lives of this unsuspecting couple—well, if not their lives, at least the next lunar cycle.
“I just need a second,” Eliza said.
“You want to review again? Step by step?” he asked.
She nodded, gulping for air. “Lilian and Mitch Johansen, both age seventy-two.”
“Keep going.”
“Married for forty-five years. Every year for their anniversary, they hire a Cupid as their gift to each other before going on a cruise.”
“Exactly. They’re experienced at this, and they’ve never had a problem. Elijah said they hire your dad every year.” Jake laid a hand on her upper arm. His fingers pressed gently against her jacket, leaving her dizzy with more than just fear. The last few days had taken her from mortification to attraction and back again. She’d officially reached feelings overload.
“Honestly, Eliza, you couldn’t mess it up if you tried.”
Despite herself, Eliza cracked a smile. “Is that a dare?”
“I know better than to ever take you up on a dare.”
His grin thinned the fog of panic in her brain. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
She nodded. “I’m ready. Let’s go not-fatally-injure some baby boomers.”
Five minutes later, Eliza sat perched on the edge of a floral couch with a cup of tangerine tea warming her palms. From the nearby oak coffee table, a photo of two smiling children wearing Christmas sweaters stared back at her.
“Miles and Sophia, our grandchildren.” The woman who’d introduced herself as “call me Lily, please” smiled at the photo. Except for her gray curls and the wrinkles in her dark skin, the children were the spitting image of their grandmother.
“They’re adorable,” Eliza said. Between the tea and the soft cinnamon scent of the house, she’d almost relaxed enough to act normal. “How old are they?”
“Miles is fourteen, and Sophia is twelve,” Lily’s husband, Mitch, said. “Sophia acts just like her grandmother. Going to be a true beauty when she gets older.” He reached over and squeezed his wife’s thigh. “Hopefully she won’t be quite the firecracker Lily was when she was younger. I could barely keep up with her—”
Lily let out a tinkling laugh. “Oh, Mitch. Not in front of company.”
“How did you two meet?” Eliza asked. Yes, she was stalling, but she was also genuinely interested. Never in her life had she seen two people who still seemed to like—much less Love—each other after forty years.
“Her sister introduced us at a college graduation party,” Mitch said. “I asked her to dance and never looked back.”
“He stepped on my toes the whole time,” Lily added.
“All part of my charm.”
Lily scooted closer to her husband and winked at Eliza. “He was very charming that night.”
“I was set to move from St. Louis to San Francisco a week later,” Mitch said. “And here I was, hopelessly in love with this pretty girl from Kansas City.”
“I told him I wasn’t coming along without a ring on my finger.”
Mitch grinned. The man certainly adored his wife, probably more than Eliza had ever adored anything.
“The next day I put a ring on it, as the kids say these days,” he said.
Lily held up her ring finger, where a gorgeous emerald sat in the middle of a ring of crisp diamonds. “He’s my very best friend.”
Eliza glanced at Jake. See? his expression seemed to say. Easiest case ever.
She turned back to the Johansens. “Are you ready to get started?”
“Ready,” they said in unison before bursting into giggles. Gods, they were like a couple of lovesick teenagers.
A pang of something like jealousy hit Eliza, but she brushed it off. It couldn’t be jealousy, because she didn’t believe in Love. Not the true, ’til-death-do-us-part, happily-ever-after nonsense. Especially for her. She could create butterfly-inducing crushes of all kinds at the drop of a hat—sometimes literally. But that wasn’t the same as knowing someone down to their bones and still being happy to be with them. Even her parents, despite their thirty-one years of marriage, had shown her that Love left a lot to be desired.
“I know the two of you are practically professionals at this by now,” Jake said. “But since Eliza is working on her license—”
“I was so sorry to hear about your father, by the way,” Lily said. “He’s done so much for us over the years. I’m glad he’s going to be okay.”
“Thank you,” Eliza said, letting out a deep breath. How could anyone be nervous around people as sweet and kind as the Johansens? “Me too. He should be home tomorrow.”
Jake gave her another one of his see? looks. “Now, since Eliza’s working on her license, do you mind if we go through all of the forms as if this were your first time?”
“Of course not, dear,” Lily said. Mitch nodded in agreement.
“Okay. Eliza, do you want to jump right in?” Jake asked.
She took a deep breath and pulled out the forms from the folders in her lap. “You two have chosen the All Over Again package. When you’re ready, I’ll have you close your eyes, and then I’ll cause a minor injury to you both. Mitch, when you open your eyes, the first person you see will be Lily. Lily, you’ll see Mitch.”
“That’s when the magic happens,” Lily said.
Mitch chuckled. “No, the magic happens when they leave and we…” He trailed off with a playful waggle of his brows.
Eliza tried not to blush as she handed them each a form. Keep it professional, Eliza. “Well, for my purposes, the magic happens when you two see each other. What you do after that is your business. These waivers explain everything that could happen. Before we go further, you’ll need to sign and date them.”
“It’s only a precaution,” Jake added. “But we like to remind couples that hormones, pheromones, and all the things that make humans interested in and attracted to one another can change over time. If, by some small chance, one of you is no longer attracted to the other, that side of the enchantment won’t take. Herman & Herman offers a money-back guarantee on all their enchantments, but regardless, it can be traumatic for some people.”
“Now that’s a thing I never understood,” Mitch said. “Obviously, it’s not a problem for me. But I thought you Cupids made the attraction happen.”
“That’s a common misconception,” Eliza said, launching into an explanation she’d heard—and given—a million times over the years. “We enhance the attraction that already exists, but it’s more than simply physical attraction. It’s emotional. The feeling of excitement when the other person walks into a room and looks at you. The way you notice every small thing they do. The urge to show and tell them just how great you think they are. That’s what we enhance. Sometimes a person can be too scared to admit
to that type of attraction or to act on it, so they get a boost. Sometimes the attraction is buried under so much baggage that people don’t even know it’s there. Of course, that can backfire. For example, if someone has been feeling unhappy with their current partner and they get hit with an enchantment, the things they feel for someone else could entice them to make a rash decision.”
“Huh,” Mitch said. “So I guess I can’t pay you to make my neighbor fall in love with his truck?”
Eliza laughed. “Afraid not, unless he’s already attracted to the truck. And even then, the truck obviously couldn’t reciprocate. Human subjects only, I’m afraid.” Unless, of course, you get my dad high and ask him about “techno-Cupids.” Then all bets are off. Robots, trucks, jukeboxes, blenders…
“You’ll just have to find another way to get back at him for running into the mailbox, Mitch.” Lily sat up straighter, looking the teeniest bit impatient. “We need to get on the road if we’re going to make it to the harbor on time.”
“Oh, right. Your cruise.” Eliza handed them each a pen and watched as they signed their relationship away to her (not-so) capable hands. When they’d handed the forms back, Eliza stood and pulled the lancing device from her bag. “With this package, we usually do a small finger stick, enough to draw a tiny drop of blood—”
“About that, dear.” Lily stood and smoothed out her lavender skirt. A flash of beige slip and rolled knee-highs peeked out at the movement. “We’ve done the finger-prick thing a few times. This is a big year for us, so we’d like to do something different.”
Eliza shot Jake a look, but his expression said he didn’t know what the woman had in mind either.
In the last few years, rumors and theories had begun swirling about different injuries causing different types of responses—the way different strains of marijuana caused different highs. But as far as Eliza knew, it was all bologna, and the last thing she needed was for the Johansens to ask for something difficult.
“What did you have in mind?” Eliza asked.
“Give us a snap and a pop to get it. It’s very easy, dear. I’m sure you’ll be able to manage.” The couple disappeared into the other room before Eliza could ask anything else.
“What’s going on?” she whispered to Jake.
“No idea. Your brother said this couple has never been a problem.”
“If I accidentally kill the world’s sweetest old couple—”
“You won’t,” he promised. “If they ask for something too difficult, I’ll step in and tell them no. I’ll be the bad guy, just in case they get any ideas about complaining to the Department.”
Relief flooded her veins. “Thank you.”
Lily tiptoed back into the living room, and Mitch followed behind her. Between the two of them, they carried a wooden spoon as delicately as if it were the Hope diamond.
“Here we are,” Lily said, setting the spoon on the coffee table. “Mitch gave this to me years and years ago. Slid my engagement ring on the end of it and asked me to marry him.”
“Lil’ was a three-time Gold Lea Bake-Off champion,” Mitch interjected. “I always said her old-fashioned butter cake is good enough to turn the pope Lutheran, and it was good enough to make an honest man out of me. Years ago, when we—”
“Mitch, stop. She doesn’t want to know about all that,” Lily said.
Actually, Eliza did want to hear all about it. She’d bet that the two of them had enough stories to keep anyone entertained for hours. But she also wanted to get this enchantment over with as soon as possible. After all, the more time Eliza spent in their home, the greater the chances of bringing her particular brand of disaster down on them.
“We wanted it to be something special this year,” Lily said. “Something that means something to us. Usually your father just pricks our fingers with one of his tools, but I wondered if we could attach a pin to this, perhaps?”
Lily put the spoon in Eliza’s outstretched palm. “I actually won’t need to draw your blood,” Eliza said.
The Johansens’ faces fell into matching expressions of confusion. “But your father—?”
“I read online—”
“Every Cupid has different strengths and abilities,” Jake interjected. “Eliza’s are…strong. She can enchant you without any blood being shed. It’s an asset, actually.”
“Wow,” Mitch said. “I had no idea we were in the presence of such greatness.”
Eliza stared at her shoes. If they only knew.
She handed the spoon back to Lily. “In any event, I’m happy to use the spoon if you’d like.”
“We would like,” Mitch said. “Now”—he rubbed his hands together—“let’s get this show on the road. I’ve got a cruise to catch and a wife to see in a bikini.” He winked at Lily.
Eliza laughed. “Who would like to go first?” she asked.
Mitch’s hand shot up.
“Great.” Eliza wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. A part of her still couldn’t believe she was going to do this after so many years of swearing it all off. But she couldn’t think about that now. She needed to focus, and she needed to make sure Mitch saw his wife—and no one else—first thing. Eliza already had one elderly suitor floating around; she didn’t need another. “Why don’t we try this? Both of you kneel on the couch and rest your arms along the back.” She held her breath as the couple maneuvered into position. It was only then that she realized what she’d asked them to do. Am I about to spank an elderly couple with a wooden spoon? I am about to spank an elderly couple with a wooden spoon. “Um, is that okay?”
“It’s perfect.” Lily wiggled her behind. “Plus, the cushions are good for my knee replacement.”
“Uh, okay. Great.” Eliza looked to Jake. He stood over her shoulder, arms crossed against his wide chest.
“You’ve got this,” he whispered. Warm breath on her neck. A smattering of goose bumps on her arm. “Take your time, focus all your energy on the enchantment, and move with purpose.”
She rolled the spoon’s handle between her fingers and stepped away from Jake. Away from his heat, his safety, his entirely too-hot-to-exist forearms and moved toward the couple on their couch. Her life had never been normal, but today was definitely near the top of her World’s Weirdest Days list. Top five at least. Somewhere between the second-grade piñata massacre and the time she made her parents’ handyman get the hots for his ladder.
He had, it turned out, already had a ladder fetish.
“Lily, Mitch.” She stood within striking distance and put on her best I’m-totally-a-professional smile. “Are you ready?”
“I was born ready,” Mitch said.
“Turn toward each other and lock eyes.” She waited a beat for their gazes to settle. It was so sweet, the way they looked at one another, even after all this time. “Now I can’t stress this enough. Do not take your eyes off each other until I say it’s okay. Do you understand?”
They each gave a single nod.
With each beat, Eliza’s heart climbed farther up her throat. Her fingers shook, making the spoon slap against her thigh. She was really going to do this. Maybe. Probably. Or she could just hand Jake the spoon and sprint through the wall, Wile E. Coyote style. She glanced over her shoulder.
Jake smiled. A single, reassuring grin as he cocked one eyebrow and mouthed, You’ve got this.
Eliza took a deep breath and stepped closer to Mitch. She pulled her arm back a few inches. It wouldn’t take much—it rarely did—and these two were so ready to go, Eliza could probably have hit them with a feather and seen results. Time, focus, purpose. She repeated Jake’s words in her mind.
“Okay, eyes on each other,” she said. A flash of green in her periphery caught her eye. An afghan draped over a nearby armchair. In one fell swoop, Eliza grabbed the crocheted blanket and draped it over her head, peering through the gaps in the stitches. An added layer
of protection, in case one of the Johansens looked the wrong way.
Jake chuckled. “Is that really necessary?” he whispered.
“Better safe than sorry.” Especially with my history. Not that she would mention her history in front of the Johansens.
“If you say so,” Jake said.
“Is there a problem?” Mitch asked. “We really do need to get going.”
“No, not at all,” Eliza said hurriedly. “Keep your eyes on each other. And here we go in three, two—”
She clacked the spoon against the back of Mitch’s calf, and he let out a surprised little squeal. Love Luster exploded all around them. Peels of gold and silver shimmered from the floor to the ceiling, coating Eliza in the scent of spring rain.
“Wow,” Jake muttered.
“Yeah, wow,” Eliza repeated. Apparently, enchanting someone on purpose—someone already madly in love with his wife—made the glimmer into more than a mildly interesting side effect. This was nearly a full fireworks show.
Mitch’s expression shifted. He smoothed back his thinning hair and went all puppy-dog-eyed as he stared at Lily. If he was head over heels for his wife before, now he was head over heels over feet and back again.
It had worked!
With a smidge more confidence and speed, Eliza stepped over six inches and gave Lily an identical smack. The woman roared—literally, as the second set of sparks flew—then leaned toward her husband and whispered something in his ear.
Eliza let out a breath, one it felt like she’d been holding for hours. She’d done it. Really and truly done it. She hadn’t had a single mishap, no one had ended up in tears, and—most importantly—her parents were about to have some very happy customers.
“I did it.” She whispered the words to herself through a smile. “I really did it.” Pride bubbled up inside her, and she turned toward Jake. “One week down, three more—”
