by A. E. Wasp
Lipe and a couple of the guys Paul didn’t know very well arrived not long after, already halfway drunk, and the party was on.
Between what Dakota had cooked and the random items everyone else bought, there was plenty to eat. And lordy was there alcohol.
None of the guys on the team drank much usually, but it was Christmas Eve, they had the next four days off, and even better, Jake had given them a special Captain’s Dispensation. “Just don’t do anything stupider than usual. Off-the-ice injuries can get you in big trouble, and I’m not bailing anybody out of jail.”
Three hours later, Lipe and the guys had gone, leaving what Paul realized were four couples. Well, two that he knew of for sure.
Everyone knew about Bryce and Dakota, of course. But no one knew about him and Robbie. He had no proof that there was anything between Jake and Nikki, but he would have put money on it. And he was definitely getting some vibes between Sergei and Alex. That surprised him the most because he’d never heard of Sergei being with anyone, male or female.
Paul had seen all three of those pairs make their way up to the solarium at one point or another. He was jealous that he couldn’t get any alone time with Robbie.
They weren’t dancing with a lampshade on your head drunk, but none of them were feeling any pain. Even Robbie, which was proving a problem for Paul.
Robbie kept forgetting he wasn’t supposed to put any weight on his foot, and kept trying to get out of the recliner he’d been sitting in all evening.
It had taken Jake threatening to tell the coach to bench him to get him to sit down. “Do I have to get Dyson here to sit on you to keep you in that chair?” Jake asked.
Paul wasn’t sure Dakota’s coughing fit after that was completely coincidental. He narrowed his eyes at Bryce’s farmer who only blinked back at him with a suspiciously innocent expression. Figured it would take the gay guy to pick up on him and Robbie. Took one to know one, he guessed. That sounded like a problem for future, sober Paul.
Paul pointed a finger at Dakota, then walked a little unsteadily to the bar for another cocktail for him and one for Robbie. He had to admit to being a little starstruck. He’d only been on the team a month, and here he was with Bryce Lowery and Jake Donovan in his living room. Insane.
Alex had taken over mixing cocktails, despite not drinking any himself. “Habit,” he admitted. “Too many calories. Figure skating is worse than ballet with the anorexia. You can never be too thin. Makes it easier for someone to pick you up.”
The whole room laughed at that. “Sheet,” Paul drawled. “You ain’t bigger than a minute. I could pick you up one-handed.”
Alex raised his eyebrows. “I’d love to see you try it, country boy.”
Sergei got to Alex first. Without a word, he scooped Alex up with an arm around his hips. With a quiet yup, he kind of bent down, got his hand under Alex’s butt, and lifted him up to shoulder height.
Eyes wide and laughing, Alex braced one hand on Sergei’s head.
“Damn, Serge, you’re a monster,” Robbie called into the slightly-stunned silence.
Alex patted Sergei on the head. “You can put me down now, Sergei Ivanovich.”
Sergei lowered Alex gently with a smile. To Paul’s eye, the little guy looked a tad flustered. His cheeks were pink, and he wasn’t making eye contact as he walked over to the part of the kitchen counter set up as a bar.
Paul looked over at Robbie, who met his eyes with raised eyebrows and a tiny smirk. So it wasn’t just Paul who’d picked up on it.
Paul handed Robbie his drink. He had no idea what Alex was mixing, but it went down awfully smooth. “Sit next to me,” Robbie said. He grabbed the waistband of Paul’s pants and dragged him down to the couch.
Paul ended up next to Dakota and Bryce, who subtly moved over to make room on the couch. Dakota ended up in one of the recliner seats.
“Oh, this is nice,” he said, pressing the button to make the seat recline and the footrest come up. “We need to get one of these,” he told Bryce.
Robbie might have been drunker than Paul realized. It was hard to judge because he wasn’t walking around much. His eyes were looking a little glassy.
Definitely drunk, Paul realized as he felt Robbie’s hand slipping behind his back. He fought the urge to leap up from the couch.
“How’d you manage to sneak out of spending Christmas with the family?” Nikki asked as Jake handed her a plate of food, then sat down on the floor next to her.
“I think Thanksgiving was enough excitement for all of us,” Bryce said.
“You got that right,” Robbie said loudly. “That was crazy.” Swinging his feet up over Paul’s legs, he turned and narrowed his eyes at Bryce. “For the record, what you did was half romantic and half a dick move. Maybe 25/75.”
26
Paul
Paul froze, he couldn’t believe Robbie had brought up Bryce’s outing of himself and Dakota on the kiss cam. He braced for Bryce’s anger.
Luckily, Bryce just laughed and dragged Dakota in for a hug. “Believe me. I know that. I knew that about one minute after I did it. And only because it took me that long to find Dakota.”
“The way you went over that railing was awesome, Dakota” Jake laughed. “And then that picture of you guys kissing was all over the internet in like ten seconds.”
Paul knew the big outing had happened at Thanksgiving, only a month earlier. Everyone seemed pretty comfortable with it, including Bryce’s ex-wife. It couldn’t possibly be that easy, could it? Though if he remembered correctly, Bryce and Miss Nikki had been divorced for a while already.
So what was it with Bryce and Dakota? Love at first sight? Was that even real? He felt the weight of Robbie’s legs and thought about how they’d basically been living together since his first day. What did that mean?
“How has the big coming out been so far?” Robbie asked.
“Robbie!” Paul was shocked. “That is a very personal question.” But he might as well have been talking to a fence post for all the attention Robbie paid him.
Now that it was out there, Paul was kind of interested in the answer. Judging by how Sergei’s ears perked up, and the way Alex not-quite-aimlessly headed over to lean against Sergei’s chair, he wasn’t the only one with a vested interest in the answer.
Bryce shrugged, looking embarrassed. “I kind of took the coward’s way out, retiring right then. Not like I was risking anything.”
“No!” Robbie said vehemently, leaning across Paul to poke Bryce in the arm. He wrapped an arm around Paul’s neck for stability. “There’s no right time or place or way to come out or be out.” He stopped and thought. “Definitely some wrong ones, though.”
“Now you sound like Dakota,” Bryce said smiling.
Robbie collapsed against the back of the sectional, legs still hooked over Paul’s. “Do you think I should come out?”
Jake caught Paul’s eye and looked deliberately from Paul to Robbie. Fuck. Busted. Paul took a big sip of his drink to hide his blush and avoid further eye contact.
“Do you think everyone should? Like, do we have an obligation or something?” Robbie stared at his drink like it held the answers to the universe or maybe he had no recollection how he came to be holding it.
Paul took the glass from him and set it on the table.
Bryce exhaled loudly. “I don’t know, Robbie. It’s not like I’m an expert on any of this. I’m still figuring it out. I had enough money for the rest of my life, and my family behind me, and still it was tough. I mean, it took me until I was thirty-something even to acknowledge that I was...”
“Gay,” Nikki supplied from the floor.
“Yeah. Gay. I’m sorry,” he apologized.
Nikki waved his apology off with her glass. “I need another drink,” she said, pushing up. “Bartender?”
Alex popped up. “Right away, madam.”
“I could use another one, too,” Robbie called, leaning his head over the back of the couch.
“
No, he couldn’t,” Paul yelled, reaching over to slap Robbie on the back of the head. “You’ve had enough.”
“Party pooper,” Robbie said, crossing his arms over his chest.
Paul laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”
“What about league?” Sergei asked, startling everyone. “How do they would react? You are retired, yes? I think a current player would be different, no?”
“I think they’re waiting for it,” Bryce answered. “I know for a fact they are. You know John Meilen, the media guy?”
The four players nodded.
“When he found out, he was mostly disappointed because I ruined their big plans. They have this whole campaign in place for the first one to come out. Gay-friendly reporters and newspapers lined up. He’s gay, too, by the way. Married.”
“The fans?” Paul asked, drawn into the conversation. That was one of his biggest fears, getting attacked by some random person.
He knew for a cold, hard fact that if he were to announce that he was gay to the public, hell, if he were to announce it to the people that were supposed to love him, people would hate him. They would spit on the ground he walked on. Shit, strangers who didn’t even know him from Adam would be hating on him and telling him he would burn in hell.
Just the thought of it made him a little nauseous. But Bryce had done it. And Dakota and Robbie. And probably Alex. They were good people. In Bryce’s case, his professional idol. They were way braver than he could ever be.
“I don’t know,” Bryce admitted. “They’re just people. Judging from the comments I see on Twitter, some will hate it; some will love it – because you know we have gay fans – most won’t care as long as you don’t suck.”
Robbie snorted and raised his eyebrows, breaking the heavy mood.
Bryce blushed bright red.
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Nikki told him, tossing a crouton at him.
“I can’t. I’m a growing boy. My mind is permanently in the gutter. Hey.” That last part was directed at Bryce. “How do you know what people are saying about you on Twitter and shit?”
Paul smacked him on the leg. “Language. There is a lady present.”
“Thank you,” Alex said from the bar where he was doing something with the leftovers. “Grab some of those for me, darlin’,” he said to Nikki, indicating a stack of shot glasses. Plucking an unmarked bottle of clear liquid out of the ice bucket, he rejoined the group.
Gracefully, he sank to the floor in front of Sergei’s chair. He placed a plate of pickles on the floor and took the shot glasses from Nikki.
“Sergei Ivanovich has graciously supplied us with this nectar of the gods, straight from the bosom of Mother Russia, which I realize is a mixed metaphor but just roll with it. It would be unbearably rude not to drink it. As it is only to be drunk in the company of family and dear friends, a rule I made up just now, I think this is the perfect time.”
He filled shot glasses and passed them around the room until everyone had one. “Some of you are family, some of you are dear friends, some of you are both, and some of us hope to be one or the other.”
He lifted his glass in a toast, and the others mirrored him. “To our host, the newest member of the Thunder and the one with the most adorable accent, Mr. Paul Dyson. Thank you for inviting us to your home. To Paul!”
“To Paul,” everyone echoed and drank. Alex and Sergei exhaled deeply and drank.
He passed around the plate of pickles. Robbie looked at Paul. He shrugged. He had no idea what was going on, but if Alex wanted him to eat a pickle, he’d eat a pickle. No skin off his back.
Jake caught his eye as he passed the plate to Bryce, and stood up. “Dyson, I gotta talk to you before I have too many shots.”
“Do you have to have too many shots?” Nikki asked with a grin.
“I don’t have to, but I find myself wanting to. Is that okay?” Jake smiled down at her.
“It’s not my head and stomach. You knock yourself out.”
He pointed at Alex. “Wait for me, I’ll be right back.”
“Yes sir, your Captainness.” Alex held his hand out for Robbie. “In the meantime, let’s see if we can’t get you up to the social media speed of your average fourteen-year-old. Following what the great unwashed say about you is one of the purest forms of self-flagellation there is. If you’re into that sort of thing.”
He kept his voice light, but bitterness lay close underneath it. There was a story there, Paul was sure.
Paul moved Robbie’s legs off him and followed Jake upstairs to the solarium. His head was spinning trying to figure out what Jake wanted to discuss. It couldn’t be anything good, or he would have said it in the room.
27
Paul
Jake walked to look out the windows. The view was arresting. Paul would never get tired of looking out over the bay. At night, the lights of downtown Seattle sparkled on the water. All the additional Christmas lights only made it more magical.
“Nice view,” Jake said.
“Thanks. I love it.”
“Look, Dyson. Paul.” Jake ran his hands through his brown hair. It was long enough that he could hold it back off his face. “I know we don’t know each other very well yet, but you gotta trust that I care about the welfare of the team and each of my players.”
“I do, sir.” Paul had a sinking he feeling he knew exactly what Jake thought he knew.
“I should be talking to you and Rhodes, but I have a feeling he’ll be lucky to remember anything that happened tonight. Not the best time for a serious conversation. He’s what, twenty-one? Probably just learned how to drink.”
“Yessir.” Paul clasped his hands together tightly, ready for whatever Jake wanted him to do. Jake was Team Captain. He was the leader of the team. Would they kick him off the team? Could they? Would they trade him?
Jake looked at Paul and sighed. “Oh, for Chrissake kid, you look like you’re gonna pass out.” He led Paul over to one of the window seats. “Sit down. I’m not going to bite your head off.”
Paul sat.
“I’m too old, tired, and drunk to beat around the bush. Whatever is going on with you and Rhodes, you gotta tell the coach.”
Paul had been ready for Jake to ask him if anything was going on with him and Robbie. His mind had been racing between lying and letting it all out. But Jake acted like he already knew.
Jake shook his head. “I’m not blind, son. Look, I just got through this with that idiot Lowery and his farmer. I saw that smitten look enough times on his ugly mug that I would recognize it a million miles away. Robbie looks at you like Bryce looked at Dakota when he thought we weren’t looking.”
He dropped heavily down onto the seat next to Paul. “Don’t even get me started on Sergei and his twink. That’s gonna be fun.”
“I’m sorry,” Paul said, not sure what he was apologizing for.
“Sorry for what? I’ve seen enough to know that we love who we love. Can’t do a damn thing about it. Love is totally irrational.” Jake stared out the window, fingernail scratching a flake of loose paint.
Paul had a feeling he was talking to himself as much as to Paul. “I’m not…I mean…we’re…it’s new. It might not be anything…” Paul trailed off.
Jake laughed. “Yeah? How many nights you guys spend apart in the last say two weeks?”
Paul didn’t answer.
Jake laughed again. “That’s what I thought. Whatever it is, you have to tell Coach. He needs to know. You can’t blindside him with this when you have your first lover’s quarrel.”
Paul dropped his head into his hands with a groan. “I know. You know how much I worry about that?”
“And you should,” Jake said, not unkindly.
“I’m not out. Like at all,” Paul said into his hands. “My father would kill me. I can’t be out.”
Jake rubbed Paul’s back reassuringly. “You don’t know that. It might not be so bad.”
Paul sat up and grabbed Jake’s hand. “No, sir. I
’m being as serious as a heart attack. We’re Southern Baptist. My father and all his friends believe gays are tearing the fabric of society apart and all of them will, and should, burn in hell.”
“Jesus,” Jake whispered with a shake of his head.
Paul laughed at his choice of expletives. “I’ll tell Coach, I swear on my life. But you can’t tell anybody else. This can’t get out.”
“Man, you have some serious shit to work through, don’t you?”
Paul barked a laugh. “Yessir, you could say that.”
Laughter floated up the stairs. He heard Bryce laugh and say something loud. There was another burst of laughter from the room.
“I don’t think they’re waiting for us,” Paul said.
Jake paced the short distance across the room. “You know we have people you can talk to. Therapists, counselors. This is a tough, tough job we have. People on the outside only see the money and the perks. They don’t see what the lifestyle can do to people. I’ve seen it all, Paul. Drugs, cheating, alcoholism, suicide. It’s tough.”
Paul thought about how exhausted he always seemed to be and how he’d been going full-throttle since he’d hit Seattle. “I didn’t know it would be like this in the show, sir.”
“No one ever does.” Jake clasped Paul’s arm reassuringly. “You know the team has people you can talk to. About anything. Lots of us need someone to keep our secrets.”
“Thank you, sir. I’ll keep that in mind.” He did have to find someone. Maybe he’d look for the kind of church Robbie had talked about. “And I will tell the coach. As soon as I can.”
“Good man. Talk to Robbie about it. Make sure you guys are on the same page. I can promise me and the coach won’t breathe a word of it. But if you don’t want anyone on the team to figure it out, you two had better work on your poker faces. I expect to see little cartoon hearts flying around your head every time one of you idiots looks at each other.”
