He ran his hands up Adria’s back and wrapped them around her in a tight hug. “No, sweetheart, you didn’t hurt me. You brought me back to life.” He tightened his hold. “Thank you.”
She slipped her hands over his sides to his back and held him close. “Thank you for showing me what it should be like.”
“My pleasure. Anytime.” He meant it, even if he didn’t know what this meant for the two of them.
They’d made a deal. Sex. No strings. He didn’t know if he had anything else to give her, because though he was happy to discover his body wasn’t a total loss—as far as he was concerned—his mind was still a fucked-up place that he didn’t want to inflict on anyone. Especially her.
“Next time, I’m not the only one who’s naked.”
He chuckled and smiled like it was the most natural thing, even though he couldn’t remember the last time he did either. “You shocked the hell out of me when you walked out. But damn, if anything was going to get me to stand at attention, it was you, gorgeous.”
She laughed, then sat up on him. His hands slid down her back to her hips. She shyly smiled, then brushed her fingers down his face and the scars he believed she didn’t really see. Not in the way that made others cringe.
“I know I don’t have a right to ask you to do anything for me . . .”
He traced his fingers down the center of her chest. “What is it?”
“Will you please take what happened today between us and stop telling yourself you can’t do things? Take that voice in your head that tells you, you can’t and tell it to shut the fuck up.”
He smiled and laughed again. “I’ll try.”
“Do it. Just like you did this.” She rocked her hips against him, stirring his interest all over again.
If he could do it once and felt the need building again, he had no reason to doubt he could perform whenever he wanted to from now on.
If he was wrong about this, maybe he was wrong about other things he thought he’d never be able to do again.
She was right: his issues, though numerous, weren’t as much in the forefront for him as thinking he’d never have sex again and that it meant he’d never have a relationship with a woman. At least not the kind of relationship he wanted.
And he could have a family.
That thought opened up his future.
She really had changed things for him.
“I’ll work on it.”
She slipped off his lap and stood before him. Her gaze drifted to his hip, then met his again. “I know your military service was a big part of your life. Don’t let it be your whole life. There’s so much more about you than that. You showed me that you can be patient and kind and giving to someone who really needed it.”
“I only gave you everything I needed, too. Everything you showed me the other night when I attacked you.” He raked his hand over his head. “I’m really sorry about that. The last thing I ever want to do is scare you.”
“I see you, Drake. You don’t scare me.” The hint of unease he sensed in her bloomed pink in her cheeks. “Um, I’m gonna go find some clothes. You can clean up in the bathroom.”
He waited for her to slip into her room before he attempted to get his ass off the couch. His leg hurt, but in a good way. He hadn’t felt this kind of tight pain since he stopped doing his physical therapy. Yeah, he’d convinced himself he didn’t need it, that it wasn’t doing him any good. The truth was, he got tired of measuring his progress in the tiniest of ways. He wanted results like he got today. But the issues with his leg weren’t rooted in his brain. They were real injuries, and he needed to give them time to heal. He needed to put the work in to get his strength back. Maybe he’d never be as strong as he was and he’d always limp, but if he could walk without the damn cane, that would be something.
He wanted to mount his horse without assistance. He set that as his next goal.
As promised to Adria, he’d work on it.
He stood from the sofa and stretched his leg, made sure he had his balance, and gimped his way to the bathroom to clean up.
By the time he came out, Adria stood in the kitchen, hair tied up in a ponytail, her cheeks still pink, her eyes unsure. She looked good in a red tank top and jeans. “I forgot I promised Tate I’d take a look at a horse he’s been training to barrel race.”
That was news to him. “You barrel race?”
She smiled. “Yes, I do. If not for my sister Roxy, I’d be a champion.”
“Is that so?”
She smiled and his chest went tight. “It is. She’s just that good.”
“Sounds like you admire her.”
“I do. If not for her, I don’t know what would have happened to me and Juliana. She took us into her home and kept us safe. She taught us to ride. Up on a horse, I found a freedom I’d never felt in my life. I thought I could race away from all my problems.”
He got that. He often tried to do the same thing. “You can’t outrun what’s in your head.”
She nodded. “No, you can’t. So you have to find a way to make peace with it.”
“About what happened to you . . .”
“You don’t have to go there, Drake. I’ve made peace with it. I just hadn’t quite found a way to turn it off when I wanted to . . . you know, be with someone. It always got in the way. Today, you showed me it doesn’t have to, that I can shut it off and lose myself with someone.”
He ran his hand over his head and tried not to feel like an awkward teen asking a girl for a date for the first time. “I’m, uh, happy to show you again sometime.”
“I could prove to you today wasn’t a fluke.” Her shy smile didn’t detract from her bold words.
“Deal.” He didn’t know how to leave things with her, but he wanted her to know he’d like to do this again. “I’ll walk you down to the stables.”
“You don’t have to. I’m sure you need to get back to Sunny.”
“Shit.” He’d forgotten about the puppy. “I left him locked in my room.”
“Better get back and let him out then.” She didn’t move to the door with him. “I’ll let you go out first. Just so your family doesn’t jump to conclusions.”
He nodded and headed for the door, but stopped when she called him back.
“Don’t forget your laptop. I imagine Dr. Porter is on pins and needles waiting to hear if I cured you.” Her sweet smile teased but also tempted him to kiss her again.
He didn’t. But he chuckled under his breath and felt even lighter. He hoped it lasted. “I don’t kiss and tell.” But he would have to let Dr. Porter know he’d worked out one of his many issues.
“I’d like it if we kept this between us as far as your family is concerned. Trinity and I work together. I don’t want things to get complicated.”
He took her lead and kept things simple. “No one will hear it from me.” He picked up the laptop and went back to the door, where he retrieved his new metal cane. He opened the door, but didn’t step out. “How do you want to do this?”
“Well, I can’t exactly come to you, so I guess I’ll see you the next time you show up here.”
“Do you care when that is?”
“No. I enjoyed today. I hope to enjoy it again soon.” The shy smile on her lips said she meant it. He liked her honesty and directness. It took guts to say and do the things she’d done today after what happened to her.
He should take a page from her book and do the same.
They’d put a lot of faith in each other.
He appreciated that she kept things light and easy. So he left her knowing he’d be back soon, because he needed something good and uncomplicated in his life. Their dirty deal gave him exactly what he wanted without all the complications of a relationship he wasn’t ready to have with her or anyone.
Chapter Twelve
Adria hesitated on the porch of the big house. She didn’t know how to do this. Juliana didn’t mind no-strings-attached sex, but Adria wasn’t like that. She couldn’t stop thinking about
Drake, what they’d shared, and what it meant.
Why did it have to mean anything more than a good time shared by two people who wanted the same thing? Done. End of story. Or at least the chapter, because they planned to do it again.
And why not? No one got hurt. In fact, she felt damn good. She wanted to do it again.
And the nerves fluttering in her belly were more anticipation for the next time than dreading some awkward moment they might have when they saw each other again.
Get out of your head.
You made the deal because you didn’t want it to mean anything more than fun.
She wanted to simply enjoy what they shared physically, but her heart wondered if maybe there was something more there.
Stick to the deal.
Leave it to her to find a way to play it safe while stepping way out of her comfort zone. But she reminded herself that if she expected Juliana and Drake to do the hard work to heal, she couldn’t expect anything less from herself. While Drake had certainly helped her take a huge leap toward differentiating what happened in the past and what she could have with a man now, she still wondered if she’d have to go through the same process of learning to let go and trust with someone else.
She and Drake worked because they’d both been thinking sex wouldn’t work for them.
She’d needed a man who would stop if that’s what she wanted and not take it as a rejection or failure on his part. It wasn’t about him. It was about her. And Drake got that, so she’d been able to go with it and not worry about hurting his feelings.
He’d needed that from her.
Drake’s problem was solved. He’d overcome the head games he’d been playing with himself by simply getting turned on. Her issues were more complicated and complex.
She needed to stop thinking about having sex with Drake and focus on the fact that Drake was Trinity’s brother, not boyfriend material.
He had his demons to slay.
She had a business to open, a sister to help through her recovery, and . . . What about her? What did she want?
Roxy and Sonya had found happiness here in Montana.
Maybe she and Drake weren’t headed in the lifelong-partners direction, but she had found something she needed in his arms.
Why shouldn’t she enjoy it? She didn’t need to map out how this would go. She took a cutout from her straight and narrow path because something about Drake called to her. Some of his pain resembled hers. She wanted to feel better. So did he.
Why not help each other feel better?
The great feeling he left her with last night still felt good this morning.
“Is there a reason you’re standing out here and not coming in?”
She stared up at Drake, surprised by the change she saw in him. “You slept last night.” The dark smudges under his eyes had disappeared. So had the hard edge in his eyes and the stiffness in his shoulders. He looked relaxed and maybe not happy, but less intensely angry.
“The credit goes to you. Again.”
She walked up the steps and stood in front of him. “Happy to help.”
“You look good.” His eyes shuttered and swept down her body, then back up in a blaze of heat that left her warm and tingling.
She felt good. And sexy, thanks to Drake’s blazing gaze. She swept her hair back over her shoulder. It hit her the second he took a step closer that she was flirting with him. She didn’t normally do that.
And she didn’t want him to think it meant she wanted more than . . . Well, he did look damn good. Thoughts of his hands on her body, the way he made her come apart . . . Yeah, she wanted more.
She noted the sweatpants and tennis shoes replacing his usual jeans and work boots. “What are you doing today?”
“Physical therapy.”
“I thought you quit?”
His eyes narrowed on that last word. Quitting wasn’t his style, but he’d been knocked down harder than most. “Just a pause.” He stepped past her, leaning on his cane to take the steps down. He didn’t look back. “I can’t expect you to do all the work.” Her mind went to her astride his lap, rocking and rolling her hips against his as pleasure ripped through both of them. Something both of them needed, but they had been surprised by the intensity of it all.
He opened his truck door and looked at her then. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“You can show me your new moves.”
“The pressure’s on.” He climbed into the front seat.
She rushed down the steps and grabbed the door before he closed it and stood between him and the open door.
He didn’t like her staring at him, especially since his scarred cheek faced her as he stared out the front window. “What?”
“Look at me.”
He sighed out his frustration and turned to stare down at her. The earlier heat in his eyes turned cool with agitation.
“With me, there’s no pressure. You want to see me, great. You don’t, I’m not going to guilt you or have hurt feelings. That’s not what this is between us. That’s what we agreed to. When we’re together, there’s no failure if you try and it doesn’t work out the way you think it should. We can simply try things a different way, a way that works better for you, because as you proved to me last night, you won’t leave me hanging.”
She put her hand on his thigh. “This is about us healing each other, not hurting each other. I would never use your physical and emotional trauma against you. I want to help, not hurt you more.” She moved her hand to his arm. “I’m glad you’re giving physical therapy a try again. I hope that what happened between us showed you that things can be different if you try.”
“I’m ready to work on it.”
“Talk to Dr. Porter. He helps you more than you’re willing to admit. Do your physical therapy. Sleep. You will feel better.”
He reached out and brushed her hair. “You made me feel damn good.”
“Good, huh? Imagine how I could make you feel if I actually got your clothes off.”
She tried to step back and end this because it felt way too intimate for what they really shared, but he caught her hand and stopped her. “I saw the embarrassment and fear in your eyes when you walked out of your bedroom. After hearing what happened to you, I know that was a huge step. Asking me to give you something you want in your life took guts you didn’t think you had, but you proved you did with that brave act. I’m going today because if you can be that brave, why the hell can’t I face a little more pain and get my ass to physical therapy?” He squeezed her hand, held her wide-eyed, amazed gaze, then let her go. “See you tonight.”
Unable to move, she watched him drive away, thinking about what he’d said. She’d set out to prove to him that he wasn’t impotent, but she’d accomplished so much more than that. It floored her.
“What’s going on with you and Drake?” Trinity walked down the steps, her gaze narrowed and direct.
Sunny rushed down the steps and ran around the grass like something was chasing him. Turned out to be his tail. He spun in circles trying to catch it.
“I just wanted him to know I’m happy he’s trying to get better and going to physical therapy.”
Trinity’s gaze shot to the end of the drive, where Drake’s truck turned onto the main road. “I wonder what prompted him to go back. We’ve been after him for weeks to try again.”
He thought she was brave. The man had faced down guns and bombs and who knew how many near-death experiences. Men tried to kill him. He fought back. For their country. For his family. For her. For everyone. He had her beat on the bravery scale. “You had to know he’d eventually find his courage buried under all that pain.”
“We thought he’d given up.”
“He needed time to come to terms with his new reality. I’m not saying he’s done that exactly, or that this is a turning point, but if nothing else, it’s a good day for him.”
“I’ll take it.” Trinity held up her car keys. “Ready to go to work?”
She nodded, but he
r mind was still on Drake. She hoped his good days started outnumbering his bad ones.
Which made her wonder about Juliana. She hoped Juliana had made some progress, even one small step forward toward better health the way Drake had done today.
The way she did last night in Drake’s arms.
She had to admit, there was something quite freeing in embracing and nurturing her sexuality.
She felt different. Less guarded. More free.
She couldn’t wait to explore her newfound daring side. While she credited Drake for bringing it out in her, she hesitated to think too deeply into the connection between them that made her feel comfortable enough to make the bold deal and follow through with it.
He’d been right—it took every ounce of bravery she could muster to walk out and face him naked and wanting to tempt him, because as a child it felt so wrong to be subjected to doing just that for men—for strangers.
But something about Drake felt familiar and safe.
In his condition and after what he’d put her through during his flashback, that’s the last thing she should feel. But she did.
She couldn’t explain it.
And she couldn’t dismiss it either.
She’d tapped into his kindness, empathy, and generosity. He gave to her yesterday with an open heart.
And she wanted more.
Chapter Thirteen
Drake rubbed his hand over his hip, trying to ease the pain and loosen his tight muscles. He’d taken his pain meds. At times, he resented the pain. Other times, he thought it his due. Today, he welcomed it.
The physical therapist had worked him out good. This time, he hadn’t resisted, but pushed himself hard. He didn’t expect immediate results, but he felt good that he’d made progress.
Tough Talking Cowboy Page 10
