The doctor had said the same to him when he woke up in recovery. With all the drugs, his mind fuzzy, he feared he’d imagined it.
Adria leaned down and gave him a soft kiss. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore.” He looked down at his bandaged leg and wiggled his toes. They moved, but he could barely feel them. “My foot and toes are numb.” That worried him.
Adria rubbed her hand up and down his arm. “The doctor said that might happen because of the swelling. It’s normal. It should go away over the next day or two.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes,” she assured him, her hands tight on his arm.
He stared down the bed to his two brothers.
Declan patted his foot. “You’ll be up and walking again before you know it.”
Tate nodded. “They’re so sure things went well, they’ve scheduled the physical therapist to come by tomorrow afternoon.”
Drake felt better about that. “Okay. That’s good.”
“You can’t stand being stuck in that bed, can you?” Trinity asked.
Drake shifted, trying not to let it show. “It’s bringing back all kinds of bad memories.”
Adria lowered the bar on the bed, rested her hip next to his, and held his hand. “You’re not alone. We’re here.”
He fought off memories of the attack he survived and seeing his gruesome hip and leg bloody and fearing he’d lose it if he even survived. “I just want to go home with you.”
Adria held his hand to her chest. Her I Love You tattoo facing him. God, how he needed her. “As soon as you can walk out of here again.”
“I’m going to be on crutches for a week or so.”
“And then you won’t be,” Declan pointed out. “Stop worrying. Enjoy the drugs and everyone fussing over you.”
Drake took a breath to calm his anxiety and stared up at Adria. “When’s my sponge bath?”
She laughed and it eased his mind and heart even more. “Later. When we’re alone.”
He turned to his family. “Get out.”
Trinity rolled her eyes. “He’s going to be just fine. His mind is already on sleeping with my best friend.” She patted his uninjured thigh. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’m leaving you in Adria’s capable hands. I’m heading back to the store to check on our new employees. If they followed directions and kept up with the pace, they should be just about done with what I left them.” Trinity kissed him goodbye on the head. “Be good. Follow the doctor’s orders.”
“I will. Thanks for hanging out during the surgery. I know you’re busy.”
She patted his leg again. “Never too busy for you.” Trinity headed for the door.
“Don’t forget to stop by the printer and pick up the labels and packaging stickers,” Adria called.
“I’ll take care of work. You take care of him.” With that, Trinity left the room as a nurse came in to fiddle with his IV and check the dressing on his leg.
“I’ll be back with an ice pack for your face,” the nurse said before she left.
He looked up at Adria. “Does it look really bad?”
She shook her head. “It’s red and bruised right now. In a few days, it’ll be markedly improved.”
“Those were the doctor’s words, weren’t they?”
She gave him a placating smile. “Yes. But it’s true, Drake.”
“She liked you when you were mean and surly. I don’t think a few scars are going to put her off,” Tate pointed out.
Drake knew that, but he worried in trying to fix things he’d made them worse. He hadn’t gotten a chance to see the doc’s handiwork yet.
Adria took a compact from her purse and held it up in front of him.
It took him a second to look in the mirror. When he did, he was surprised by what he saw. “It’s not that bad.”
“We would have told you if it was,” Declan pointed out. “You’ve gotten a lot better over the last month, Drake. It took time for you to come this far. Give your body time to heal again. You’ll see—it will be better.”
Tate slapped his hand on Declan’s shoulder. “Time to head home and feed the critters.”
“Don’t forget to give Sunny his apple treat.” He’d been reluctant to keep the puppy Jamie foisted on him, but now, Sunny had his heart. He loved the dog and wished Adria could sneak him into his hospital room.
“I won’t,” Tate promised.
“You have to make him sit and lie down first.”
“I will. He’s getting good at those.”
Pride lit Drake’s heart. “Training and discipline.”
“Exercise some discipline and stay in this bed until they tell you, you can get up.” Declan hugged him first.
Tate came next.
And moments later, he was alone with Adria. “I don’t like the numbness in my leg and other parts,” he confessed, because he could tell her anything.
“Seriously, Drake, you’ve been out of surgery for like an hour. Give it at least four before you start worrying.”
“Only if you promise to help me make sure everything is working properly.”
She leaned down and kissed him. “I promise, but not until you are fully recovered.”
He leaned up and kissed her until the nurse cleared her throat and handed him the ice pack for his face.
Adria blushed and smiled down at him. “Be good.”
“You know I’m better than good. As soon as I get out of here, I’ll show you.”
The nurse left with a chuckle.
Adria rolled her eyes, but she got it. Things had been going so well between him and Adria, he didn’t want anything to come between them.
“Juliana is being released the day after tomorrow.”
“So we’re both coming home at the same time?”
She nodded. “I know we talked about her staying in the apartment over the shop.”
“I take it you haven’t had time to get that place in order.”
“Not really. And I’d like Jules with me for a few days while she gets used to being out and free again.”
“She wasn’t in jail,” he pointed out.
“They had a structure there that she wasn’t used to going in but has learned to live by since she’s been there. I want to give her some of that when she gets out.”
He didn’t like that they’d be apart for a few days, but he understood what she was trying to do for Juliana. “I’ll miss having you next to me at night, but I understand you want to be with your sister.”
“I’m sorry it comes at such a bad time. You need me right now, too.”
He pressed her hand to his chest. “I always need you, but I know how important Juliana is to you. You’ve missed her. You want to spend time with her. I think it’ll be good for you to get a gauge on just how well she’s doing now.”
“I’m worried. You said Chase stayed for sixty days. Juliana’s only done thirty. Maybe she needs more time.”
“You barely got her to stay that long. She agreed to weekly appointments with the counselor. Once she’s home and you spend time with her, you’ll know if she needs more.” He rubbed his thumb over her hand. “Maybe she’ll surprise you.”
“I hope so.”
He fell asleep thinking the same thing, because he didn’t want anything, especially Adria’s sister, to take her away from him and the life they were building together.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Adria set a plate in front of Juliana, who sat at the breakfast bar. She couldn’t believe her sister was out of rehab, staying at the cabin with her, and looking so good.
“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”
“I wanted to do something nice for you.” Which meant making Juliana her favorite mac and cheese with bacon and chives, fried chicken thighs, and broccoli with garlic butter.
Juliana took a bite of the cheesy noodles, hummed with satisfaction, but her eyes filled with remorse. “I’m the one who should do something nice for you.” Juliana reache
d across the counter. Adria took her hand. “You saved my life.”
Adria’s heart pounded with the memory. If she’d come home from that rotten date even a few minutes later . . . Adria didn’t want to think about it. “I can’t live without you. So don’t do that to me again.”
Juliana squeezed her hand. “I take things too far. I do things without thinking. I try to make myself believe it’s all for fun, but deep down I know I’m punishing myself. I thought I deserved to feel bad and worse.” Juliana had lost the defensive edge she’d had at the rehab center. She was back to being Adria’s sweet, loving sister, and it made her so happy.
Adria kept hold of Juliana’s hand and walked around the counter to her side and looked her in the eye. “I know what that feels like.” She brushed Juliana’s hair back, needing the sweet contact. “You deserve to be happy. Just like I deserve to be happy. It took me a long time to get there. I know you will, too.”
Juliana’s gaze drifted to the counter. “Are you happy here?”
Adria rubbed her hand over Juliana’s back, hoping to ease the sting. “Yes. I am. I thought Trinity and I would open the store in Las Vegas. But I love it here. It’s an up-and-coming little town, close to Billings. I love the beautiful landscape, the weather, riding and working here. Trinity and I are great friends and business partners. It’s the perfect fit.”
Juliana stuffed another bite of mac and cheese in her mouth, chewed, then pointed the fork at her. “Nowhere in there did you mention Drake.”
Adria went back around the counter and retrieved her plate, then took her seat next to Juliana, her mind full of happy memories of her time with Drake and her heart warm with love for him.
“Stalling?” Juliana asked. “Why?”
“Because I know Roxy and Sonya moving away from the Ranch is part of what set you off. They found love and made a life here instead of coming home.” Adria had missed them, but she was happy for her sisters.
Juliana took it as abandonment. Just like Adria moving here.
“Is that what you found here? Love? A new home?”
Adria met Juliana’s intense gaze and gave her the truth. “Yes.”
Despite being initially upset, Juliana’s smile was real and genuine. “I’m happy for you, sis. I mean that. I’m glad you found a way to put what happened behind you and move on with a guy who looks at you like you’re everything he ever wanted.” Juliana really had used her time at rehab to unpack the past and put it away.
Drake made Adria feel like she mattered more than anything in his world. “He changed my life. I don’t know that any other man could have, or would have, done what he did for me.”
Juliana raised an eyebrow and teased, “And what exactly was that?”
Adria stuck to a truth that had really changed her life. “He made me feel like a woman, not that scared little girl.”
Juliana shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to talk about what happened again. “And so you’re over it?”
She’d never truly be over it. “It doesn’t rule my life anymore. It doesn’t dictate how I look at a man anymore. It’s not my every other thought. It’s a memory.” She squeezed her sister’s hand. “Make it a memory, Juliana. It happened. It’s done. Leave it alone. Stop looking at it and breathing life into it every time you do. Let it fade with every new experience and memory you make. Fill yourself up with so many happy, good things, you can’t even remember that was ever part of you.”
“How do you do it?”
“I choose, Jules. That ugly man took away my choices. I won’t let him or anyone else do that to me again.” It reminded her of how she took a chance, chose to take control of her sexual future, trusted in Drake, and herself, and made that deal that turned into the best choice of her life.
“I guess that’s what I’m facing right now, to choose each and every day to live my life in a better way.” Juliana sighed. “I did see how I was falling into Mom’s patterns. I just couldn’t seem to stop. It scared me sometimes, because I liked it a little too much.”
“Find something else that excites you. You were always into drawing.” Adria tugged down the shoulder of her shirt and showed off her tattoo. “We are all wearing your art.”
Jules’s shy smile surprised Adria. Her confident sister wasn’t so confident when it came to what she considered just doodles. But to Adria, Roxy, and Sonya they looked like so much more. “When college seemed pointless. Math. English. All the rest. I didn’t know what to do with all that. I drew pictures on my homework all the time. My teachers started commenting more on it than my poor grades.”
Adria perked up. “Are you saying you want to go to art school?”
“I’m thinking about it. Soon. I need a minute to adjust right now.” Juliana stuffed a huge piece of chicken in her mouth, set down her fork, and pulled a notebook out of her bag hanging on the back of her chair. “In rehab, they encouraged us to journal.” Juliana flipped open the book. Adria marveled at page after page of Juliana’s artwork. The view from her bedroom window. A gorgeous cherry tree in bloom. The Montana mountains at sunset.
Two hearts nestled up against each other like they were snuggling.
Adria tapped her finger on it. “I love this.”
“I’m thinking of getting it as a tattoo.”
Adria traced the lines with her finger. “I’ll get it, too.”
“You and me. We are forever connected.”
Adria put her hand on Juliana’s knee. “Yes, we are, even if we do different things.” Adria tapped her finger on the notebook. “You can do this. You just have to want it and go after it with your whole heart, Jules.”
“Like you did with Drake.”
She’d been audacious and so unlike herself. She’d been afraid, but found her courage and leaped anyway. “I don’t know what you call what I did with Drake.”
“You wanted him. You went after him.”
Adria shook her head. “It wasn’t like that. I wanted him to see what I saw in him. He wasn’t broken. I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t either.” Putting the focus on Drake in that moment had helped her to see the comparison but not make it all about her issues.
Juliana went quiet for a moment and stared at her half-eaten plate of food. “Do you think there’s something broken inside me?” Those worried, whispered words hurt Adria’s heart.
Adria shook her head. “No. There is nothing wrong with you.”
“Addiction . . . it’s hereditary. Maybe I got that gene and you didn’t.”
“We’re identical. Exact same DNA. It’s about choices, Jules.”
Juliana looked away. “I make all the wrong ones.”
“That’s not true. We all make mistakes. We learn from them. Live today the best you can. And know that you’re not alone. I’m here for you. Roxy and Sonya are here for you. Even Mom called regularly for an update.”
“Yeah, but she didn’t leave the Ranch to visit me.” Disappointment filled Juliana’s words, because some kinds of hope were eternal. Like wanting your mother to be there for you when you hurt. And Juliana could have benefited from an open and deep conversation with their mom about the past.
If only Mom were capable of such a thing.
Maybe she didn’t give Mom enough credit. But history didn’t bode well for her.
Adria spent her whole life wishing Mom was like the loving, kind, do-anything-for-their-children type she saw on TV. “Mom likes her life at Wild Rose.” She didn’t know what else to say. They’d been on their own since they were kids. Some moms weren’t equipped to give their kids what they needed.
“I can’t go back there. Not after I . . .” Juliana shook her head, her eyes downcast.
Juliana’s wild nights included a few nights sneaking in and working at the Wild Rose Ranch to earn money to buy more drugs. And to punish herself for not saving Adria from her fate all those years ago.
Adria didn’t blame her sister or judge her for what she’d done. Pain and hurt made people do strange and harmful things.<
br />
She squeezed Juliana’s hand. “You don’t have to go back. You can do anything you want.”
“Thanks to Roxy and her deep pockets.” Juliana stabbed a broccoli spear. “I don’t know how I’ll repay her.”
“Stay clean and sober and be happy. That’s all we want for you, Jules.”
“I’m working on it.”
They finished the rest of their meal, both of them lost in their thoughts about the conversation and what came next.
“Is Trinity okay with me coming to work at the shop?”
“Yes. We need the help.” She pressed her hand to her fluttering belly. “I can’t believe we open tomorrow.” After the unexpected success at the farmer’s market, they’d spent the last few days working their asses off to increase their inventory and make sure the online ordering system was up and running without any glitches.
“You should be excited.”
“I am, but I’m also worried.”
“You shouldn’t be. You’re an amazing chef.” Juliana finished off the last of her fried chicken.
“I know working at the shop isn’t what you want, but—”
“I want to see the store and be a part of what you built, sis.” Juliana sighed and admitted, “Being with you makes things easier.”
“Okay. Good. Because I want you with me right now, too. That’s why I asked you to stay here and not move into the apartment above the store just yet.”
“I don’t know how long I’m staying.”
“Take all the time you need.”
“Does Drake mind sharing you with me?” Juliana’s jealousy was showing, but Adria didn’t mind. She hoped Juliana would settle in and see that Drake wasn’t trying to take her away.
“Drake loves his siblings. He understands that you need me right now, and that I wanted to be with you tonight.” True, but she kept it to herself that Drake had wanted her to come up to the house later tonight. They enjoyed their evenings together and had gotten used to sleeping with each other. She had to admit, she missed him. She wanted to share every part of her life with him and not split her time between Juliana and him.
But tonight was for her and Juliana to reconnect.
Though she did hope Drake was taking it easy and not overtaxing his leg. He needed to ice it. And rest. Something Drake had a hard time doing.
Tough Talking Cowboy Page 20
