by Nyrae Dawn
“Abigail, come on. We’re alike, you and I. Both lonely, both only wanting attention from those we care about. I won’t let him hurt you again.” Gabe holds a hand out to me.
I can’t control my body. Caleb starts screaming, yelling at me, only nothing is coming out. He has the feral look in his eyes again, but this time, it isn’t at me he directs his anger. It’s at me and Gabe. Or maybe just Gabe. I can’t tell and even if I could, I can’t trust it. I thought we were friends, but we’re not. Caleb, the LP, no one in this town holds anything for me. I feel that deep inside my belly. I’m meant for something else. I’m meant to go with Gabe.
I turn to follow him, Caleb still silently screaming. Gabe smiles at me, still waiting for me to take his hand. When I do, he pulls me tightly against his body, and though I feel him everywhere, it’s different. I think he’s going to kiss me and I smile, but then he bends his head forward and sinks his teeth into my throat.
A scream rips from the back of my throat as my eyes spring open. I’m gasping for breath, holding my throat. There’ s nothing there. It felt so real, I can’t stop holding my neck to make sure there are no holes, no bites. It was only a dream…a dream, but so much more.
My worst fears are clawing to the surface, hiding from depths deeper than what Caleb found this morning. I’m just like her. I can’t take the pain and I’m going to lose myself in an imaginary world. I’m going crazy, just like Mom.
***
I close my eyes as Mom drives me to school, focusing on the rain hammering against our windshield. I don’t dare open them. There’s no way Caleb’s there. Not in this weather and not after yesterday, but I can’t bear to see it anyway. It doesn’t feel right not meeting him, even in this weather, but I can’t do it. Can’t risk him not showing up either. Plus, my eyes need a break from the sandpaper rubbing them each time I blink.
“Tired?” Mom asks.
My reply is a nod.
I go through the day in my same daze. I don’t see Caleb at all. Stacy tries to say hi again, but I ignore her. This time, Courtney and Tiffany are there. Both of them look at her like she’s as crazy as I am. They’re either awesome actresses, or they’re not in on her plan yet. I’m going with the latter.
It’s still raining after school. I know Mom will be waiting outside to pick me up. When I make the last trip of the day to my locker, a note falls to the ground.
I don’t want to read it. I shouldn’t read it, but I have to.
Abby,
Can you meet me at my cabin today? Any time. I’ll wait.
Caleb.
Everything inside me wants to go, but if I’m going to take one thing from this, it’s the strength he saw in me. I’m going to be strong which means taking care of myself so I don’t get hurt. With shaky fingers I ball the note up and toss it in the trash. I’m not going to his house. No way. I’ll go home and then to work and try to forget any of this happened.
***
It’s about halfway through my shift when the rain finally stops. I’m in the back, staring at the monster stack of dishes waiting for me. I fight the urge to lock the back door, but I can’t. Not only is Gabe the only friend I have left, but locking it means admitting I’m scared of him. Admitting I’m scared means part of me thinks my dream was real. Which I don’t. It can’t be.
I’m making really good headway on the dishes. Things go much faster without Gave distracting me, but I miss the distraction. When the stack’s almost clear, I feel eyes on the back of me. A wave of fear hits me, followed by a steady calm. It’s Gabe. There’s no reason to be scared. It was just a dream. It kills me that I have to remind myself. Making myself smile, I turn around. His blue eyes are dimmer than usual. “Hey, you.” I go for light and hope it doesn’t sound fake. I’m happy to see him, but wish he was Caleb at the same time.
“Hello.”
Something’s different and I know he feels it too. Is it because of the way we left things the other night? I feel the need to apologize, but I don’t know why. Maybe for being the one to bring up his parents in the first place.
Gabe beats me to it. “I owe you an apology, Abigail. I never should have walked out the way I did the other night. It was rude.”
The heavy ache in my chest suddenly lightens. I might have lost Caleb, but I still have Gabe and I need that. Need someone. “You don’t have to be sorry. I understand.”
“Friends again?” Gabe holds out his hand to me.
Our hands clasp together. “Friends.”
He doesn’t let go of me when he speaks. “Do you want to hangout again when you get off tonight? You didn’t get caught last time, did you?”
“No. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be here right now, if I did.” I laugh. “I’d love to do something tonight too.”
Gabe smiles. “Thanks. You have no idea how happy that makes me. I was so scared I screwed everything up.”
I don’t get the chance to tell him not to worry about it, when his whole demeanor changes. He’s tense. His jaw tight, and just like that, it’s gone. The flash happens so quickly I’m scared I imagined it and that freaks me out. I can’t do this. Can’t keep thinking things or seeing things that aren’t real. I will not let myself go crazy.
“Kitten?” I hear Caleb before I see him. My whole body perks up, even though I try to stamp it down. “I was coming to see you and heard you talk--” Caleb’s head of black hair peeks around the corner and inside. His eyes lock straight on Gabe. “Who are you?” Caleb snaps.
“Caleb! That was rude.” Who does he think he is? He doesn’t want to be my friend, but doesn’t want anyone else to either?
Gabe reaches out and touches my arm. This time, it’s Caleb who tenses. “It’s okay. He’s just worried about you.” Gabe turns toward Caleb. “I’m Gabe, a friend of Abigail’s.” Gabe’s voice isn’t as smooth as it usually is. Great. Now my ex-friend is freaking out my only-friend. Nice.
“Who the hell is Abigail and no offense, dude, but you’re name doesn’t tell me jack.” Caleb ignores Gabe’s outstretched hand.
Oh my God! What is wrong with him? This isn’t like Caleb.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to make up an animal name for her.”
Gabe’s words slightly crack my anger at Caleb. I shouldn’t let them, but they do because the name still means something to me. I’m too shocked to move, when Caleb steps toward Gabe, his hands fisted. “Fuck you.”
I’m almost too confused to react. Why does he sound so pissed? He’s almost acting jealous which makes no sense. I make myself snap out of it. Gabe’s been nothing but nice to me and he doesn’t deserve Caleb’s freak-out. “What’s your problem, Caleb? Gabe’s my friend.” I put emphasis on the word. At least one of them isn’t embarrassed of me. “I would appreciate it if you’re nice to him.”
It’s almost like a light bulb goes off in Caleb’s head. “She met you in the woods by my house, didn’t she? What were you doing sneaking around out there?” His face is red, he’s so angry.
I open my mouth to yell at him, but Gabe beats me to it, only he doesn’t yell. “I wasn’t sneaking around anywhere, Cale. It’s called walking. Maybe you’ve heard of it?”
“Don’t. Call. Me. Cale.” Caleb practically seethes at him.
Enough is enough. I step forward between the two guys. “Caleb, I don’t know what your problem is, but I have to ask you to leave. You’re being rude to my friend and I’m at work. You’re going to get me into trouble.”
Caleb steps back, making me relax a little, but then he crosses his arms over his chest and I know we’re still in for more. “I’m not going anywhere, Abby. I know everyone in this shithole town and I don’t know him,” his words are softer now. “I don’t trust people I don’t know.”
At first my heart does a little flip-flop because he’s worried about me, but then I remember it’s an act. If he cared, he wouldn’t have walked away from me the other day. “I don’t need you or anyone else to protect me. I’m a big girl.”
; Caleb’s eyes lose their hard edge when he looks at me. It’s him I see now, quiet, caring vulnerable. “I know you don’t need me, Kit—Abby, but you definitely don’t need him either. I’m not trying to piss you off, but if he stays, I stay too.”
There’s more to this than some weird, dislike of Gabe. I feel it. This is somehow about Caleb. The way he stressed the word ‘me’ nuzzles its way into my heart, cracking my defenses. But I can’t do it. Not after the way he treated me and not after the way he’s treating the person who’s been so nice to me lately. “Caleb, I’m asking you to go. Please…”
His eyes close and he lets out a deep breath. “I can’t.”
Anger pumps through my veins. “You can’t?” I yell. “Oh, yes you can!”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I hear the door that leads into the diner creak open. “Abby? Are you okay back there?”
My heart races. Silently, I shoo the guys toward the door. “Um, yeah. I’m fine. Just…singing?” I hear Richard chuckle, then close the door again. “Oh my God! That was too close. Caleb, go. I’ll see you tomorrow or something.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but Gabe interrupts. “It’s alright, Abigail. I’ll go. I don’t want you to get into trouble.” I smile and Caleb rolls his eyes.
“See ya, dude,” Caleb tells him.
I grab his arm before he can walk out. “I’m so sorry, Gabe. I appreciate your understanding. Will I…see you soon?”
He touches my face the same way Caleb did the other day. It shocks me frozen. Luckily, I don’t break into another make-out dream like I did with Caleb. Even though this feels good, it doesn’t feel like Caleb’s touch did. Caleb makes me feel electric while Gabe doesn’t. “I’m looking forward to it.”
As soon as he’s gone, I give Caleb my full attention. “You!”
He holds up his hands. “Not now, Kitten. Unlike that prick says, I don’t want you to get into trouble either. I’m going to sit right by the door until you’re ready to go and we’ll talk about it then.”
Caleb leans against the wall and slides to the floor. Dropping his head back, he watches the ceiling like it’s his favorite movie. “I’m not through with you. Don’t think you’re getting off this easy. As soon as I’m done, I want answers.” With nothing else to do, I go to the sink and finish the dishes.
Chapter Eleven
We’re quiet the whole drive to Caleb’s cabin. This is the first time I’ve actually come by taking the driveway. I bounce in my seat as I make the long, pothole-filled drive, until I stop in front of his dark cabin. When I say dark, I mean dark. Don’t ask me why I’ve never thought about how pitch-black it would be out here at night. I don’t know how he does it, especially when judging by the quiet dark, his father isn’t home.
I turn off the car and flip the switch to keep the overhead light on and wait. He’s the one who owes me an explanation so I refuse to have to be the one to start this conversation. After minutes of silence, he breaks it. “So, you hung out with him the other night, huh?”
Men. Where they always this barbaric? “How did you even find us?”
“I didn’t realize it was a secret.”
I sigh. This is just too strange for me. I don’t understand what’s going on. “Caleb, you know what I mean. How did you know we were in the kitchen? What were you doing there?”
“I don’t know. I was worried. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” One of his legs is bouncing like a jackhammer. “I waited for you this morning at our stop sign, and then left a note in your locker for you to meet me. I needed to make sure you got to work and when I was walking by I heard you guys talking.”
Our stop sign. I was worried. I waited for you. Part of me wants to do a little dance of, “he likes me, he likes me!” I mean, he waited for me in the rain, but then I remember how he looked at me like I was nothing. How he walked away from me like I didn’t matter. “You expected me to just show up at your house like everything was fine? Like you didn’t pretty much ignore me like you don’t have time for me?” My voice cracks. “Why do you wait for me in the middle of the freakin’ rain if you can’t even talk to me at school?”
“I can’t talk about it.” His low voice cracked like mine and I feel it in my chest. “My life’s too shitty to let you in on all the details.”
“Then why do you care who I hang-out with?!”
He doesn’t yell like I do. Does he feel anything at all? Caleb shrugs. “I don’t trust him. You could have gotten in trouble.”
“I could have gotten in trouble when I ditched with you, too,” I counter.
Caleb shoves a hand through his hair. “My bad. It won’t happen again.”
I want to grab him and shake him. Confusion rips me apart. He sounds almost hurt, but if that’s true, why won’t he just talk to me?
“There’s something weird about him, Abby. I know it sounds lame, but there is.” He grabs his head the way he did with his headache the other day.
“Are you okay?” Worry spikes inside me. “Another headache?”
He completely ignores my questions. “I’m having all these strange…I could swear I’ve seen him—shit, never mind. Just stay away from him.”
His little demand pushes any sympathy I felt away. Hello? Independent woman here. “Stay away from him,” I yell. “Thanks, but no thanks. He’s the only friend I have. Gabe’s nice to me, Caleb. He’s not embarrassed of me. There’s no way I’m going to ditch him just because you want me to. What’s it to you?”
Somehow, my words suck all the air out of the car. It takes a minute, but finally Caleb’s eyes rise to meet mine. “I thought—hell, it doesn’t matter.” He gets out of the car making me feel empty, more alone than I’ve ever felt. What is it about Caleb that makes me feel this way? “I’m not embarrassed of you. I know I don’t have a right to get in your business, but just be careful.” He slams the door and jogs to his cabin. I see him in my headlights, standing on his porch looking at my car.
My heart’s thundering. My hands squeeze the steering wheel. I’m not sure if I’m mad, confused or hurt. Probably all three. I start the car, put it in reverse and peel out of his driveway. Boys aren’t the only ones who can stomp away when they’re mad!
***
“You okay, sweetie?” I stop pushing the cereal around in my bowl and look at Mom. “You look down today,” she adds.
I am down, I want to tell her! Boys are stupid! I don’t even want to eat the marshmallows in my Lucky Charms. But I don’t say any of that because if I do, the questions will come. The worry, concern. Oh, and the crazy, vampire talk. “I’m fine, Mom. Just tired.”
I shouldn’t have let Gabe leave last night. He’s a good friend to me and no matter how much Caleb means to me, he’s the one who should have had to go. What kind of friend am I?
My heart still hurts for or because of, Caleb, I’m not sure. He’d been a jerk, more than once, but there’s more behind it. I know there is. Or maybe I’m just one of those girls I never thought I would be who makes excuses for loser boys. I know better though. Not Caleb. It’s like I know him, but I don’t. I’m not good enough to talk to at school, but he’d been willing to fight a guy over me? I’m starting to think guys are crazy.
“It’s a boy!” I jump when Mom shrieks, guessing.
Huh? “What’s a boy? Are we talking immaculate conception, here?” I push my bowl away from me, angry he’s taken my favorite cereal away from me.
“Abby, do you have your first boyfriend?” She sounds all serious now.
“What! No. I don’t have a boyfriend, Mom. Geez.” I get up and go to the sink to rinse my bowl, keeping my back to her as long as I can. “Look, Mom, guys aren’t exactly beating down my door. I’m so not that girl. I just have a lot going on at school.”
Mom stands up and walks over to me. “First of all, you’re gorgeous. You could so be that girl, but you have more class than that. Second, having your first boyfriend isn’t a bad thing. Of course, I need to meet him first. Especially if
you plan on going anywhere with him. I know this isn’t something you like to talk about, but you have to be careful. What if he’s--”
“Mom!” I hold up my hand before she says the V word. Most girls dread the virginity talk when they get their first boyfriend. For me, it’s the vampire talk. Yay, me. “I don’t have a boyfriend. There’s no one to meet. I’m not going to get lured away by some evil bloodsucker of the night!”
And now we’re fighting again. It feels like all we’ve done lately.
“Maybe not just the night, but you’d know that if you took this seriously.” Mom shakes her finger at me. At me, like I’m the one being unreasonable.
“Take what seriously? Some stupid book written by a psycho? You want to know what’s wrong with me?” Shut up. Shut up. But I can’t. “It’s this! I’d be scared to ever tell you if I have a boyfriend because you’d think he wants to munch on my neck. Did it happen to you? Did a vampire break your heart?”
Tear glint in her eyes. It’s almost as if they’re my tears. They affect me the same way. “Mom…”
“I’m going outside back to work in the garden. If you want, come out and help.” Without another word she goes out the sliding glass door, shutting it on me. What’s wrong with me? Everywhere I turn there’s drama lately and I’m the common denominator.
Deciding to go out and make things up to her, I run upstairs to my room, wash up and get dressed. After tying my hair back in a messy ponytail, I go back downstairs to hear a faint knock on the front door. Okay, we almost never get visitors, which leaves a delivery or mail man. My life is so exciting.
Before opening the door, I take a peek through the peephole anyway.
My heart stops. Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I’m caught between a busting a move because I’m so excited that Caleb Evans is at my door. Sure I’m mad at him, but Caleb Evans is still at my door. And the other part of me wants to stake myself now because if Mom comes out here and sees him, my life is over anyway. No, I’m not even being dramatic either. I couldn’t live through Mom inviting Caleb in for a friendly game of Vampire or Human.
