‘Anyway, Harry is fine,’ she said. ‘I could tell you how I know if you like.’ She was doing some sample drilling of her own, trying to test my reactions.
My hands stopped rummaging through the pantry for snacks. Was it really possible that the legendary Garden of Eden was out there somewhere? On our land? Even if our property was four times the size I’d always thought it was, I still couldn’t quite see an entire Paradise fitting into it. Not to mention the fact that it was all thick bush, steep hills and utterly inaccessible valleys.
Perhaps it was because I’d had a few weeks to let the idea sink in, or maybe I was simply tempted by the idea that my mother was out there somewhere, waiting for me to believe in Eden so I could find her, but as I stood there, holding a handful of Nutri-Grain, I realised I was actually starting to accept the whole crazy story. The realisation frightened me so much that I started to cry. My aunt came and hugged me and didn’t speak. She didn’t push me, and didn’t try to tell me I would feel better if I talked about it, and at that moment I totally loved her.
I didn’t need a mother. Aunt Lily knew me much better than the woman who had abandoned me all those years ago.
Chapter 11
That week things got progressively worse. The sad melody of the river had become so addictive that it was starting to drift its way into my mind even when I was awake. It was an all-out struggle to focus on any sort of task properly and eventually I noticed my hands trembling as I was trying to cook dinner.
When we finished up our meal I carried my dishes to the dishwasher, watching my knife and fork jiggle about as I tried to keep them balanced on my plate.
‘It’s okay, Lainie, honey, I’ll do it,’ said Aunt Lily, catching my fork with her shoe as it fell.
I slumped back down at the table. ‘What’s wrong with me? Why am I always so exhausted?’ Our supply of ‘upstream’ river water had run out and I couldn’t help noticing that my tiredness had worsened significantly since then. There had to be a reason why, so I figured I might as well hear her explanation, if she had one.
She handed me a homegrown apple, and started filling the sink with hot water for the pots and pans. ‘You’re lacking an essential nutrient. Well, it’s essential for you, not for me. It’s a compound that’s only found in this river, as far as I know. The contaminants in the water are probably reacting with it and changing it into something else. Up until recently the locally grown fruit has had enough of whatever it is to sustain you, but not anymore.’
I thought it must be something like that. At least now I knew where my fruit gluttony came from. ‘Is that why all our fruit tastes weird these days?’
She nodded, looking defeated. ‘I’ll leave for Melbourne in the morning. The only thing I can think to do is to take the dregs of the water Harry brought back from the Eden boundary and have it analysed. Maybe if they compare it to a contaminated sample, we can find out what the compound is that you need and then try to get it from another source. I have a contact that might be able to help, and I’d like to check out the Gippsland sales while I’m down that way too. Can you manage without me for a few days?’ She placed her arm around my shoulders.
I thought about all the work there was to do outside and how bone weary I was. And what if Kolsom came snooping around where they shouldn’t? What was I meant to do then? But she was doing this for me, and we really did need some new stock. How could I complain?
I lasted almost two whole days on my own before giving up and calling Noah. There wasn’t really any choice. A vicious windstorm had ripped through like a freight train during the night and a massive tree had come down on one of the fences. I managed ten minutes of chain-sawing before deciding it was just too dangerous in my pathetic state. Despite our recent awkwardness Noah came straight away, and after we repaired the fence I invited him to come in for a coffee.
‘Are you sure, Lainie? I mean, I’m happy to help but don’t feel you need to cross any boundaries you’ve made.’
Crossing boundaries. What an ironic choice of phrase for him to use.
‘Just come in, Noah. I’m too tired to argue with you today.’ Stripping my leather gloves off, I slapped him with them before chucking them in the shed with the rest of the tools.
We headed inside and I put the kettle on while he raided the pantry as he had always done. The fruit bowl was nearly empty but I found some bottled pears in the bottom of the cupboard. We polished them off along with a whole lot of Vegemite toast, which we shared with the cat.
‘Oh, mate, I’ve been so hungry lately. I ate an entire box of nectarines yesterday. It must be a post-exam thing,’ Noah said, catching the toast I dropped as I juggled the last two pieces from the toaster.
‘Nice to have them over with, though. And from what you said about the chemistry exam, I reckon you blitzed it.’
‘So long as I did enough to get into Ag Science, I’m happy.’
The thought returned that if what Harry had said was true then there was a very real possibility that I might not be going anywhere next year, and I wasn’t certain how I felt about that. I’d spent a long time preparing for the idea of leaving home and now I couldn’t work out if I felt relieved or disappointed. A bit of both really. Noah looked a little lost too as he spooned some Vegemite straight out of the jar. He didn’t seem comfortable with the idea of moving to the city either.
‘It’ll be great, Noah, you’ll love uni. You’re such a people person. City life will suit you. Then you can come back and make your millions by revolutionising our farms.’
‘How do you do that? You always know what’s bothering me. I wish I could do the same for you.’
Tossing my crusts to Inara, I headed for the door. How was I supposed to explain what was bothering me? And the last thing I needed was for him to ask me about my own plans for next year. Had I just wasted all that effort on school? I had a thing or two to say to Aunt Lily if that was the case.
He took the hint and picked up his car keys, but stopped with his hand on the door handle. ‘Mum said that you aren’t expecting Harry to come home for a while. I guess it’s about time he had a holiday.’ He cleared his throat. ‘When does your aunt get back? Do you … need a hand with anything else?’
Man, I had certainly made things awkward between us if he didn’t even know if he was welcome to offer to help.
‘She’s not due back until Wednesday. I could use some help, I guess, if you aren’t needed elsewhere.’
‘They don’t need me.’ He smiled, fiddling with his watch. ‘They have Nicole. She’s trying hard to prove she can manage the farm entirely on her own. I think she plans on ditching school altogether as soon as she’s allowed. Besides, Mum’s been acting a bit weird lately. I’d rather stay out of the way of both of them.’
‘What about Claudia? Shouldn’t you be spending time with her?’ I tried hard to keep the edge out of my voice.
‘Claudia’s out of the picture. Mum kind of scared her off.’
I absolutely loved Mrs Ashbree sometimes. ‘Yeah. Your mum can be a bit intense. I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you.’
He looked at me, his bright green eyes piercing right through my intention to kick him out before he could ask any awkward questions. ‘Are you, Lainie? You didn’t seem all that enthusiastic about her.’
‘Well, maybe not her. Maybe pick someone with more common sense than a peanut next time. Did she really ask your mum’s opinion about the lingerie she bought?’
He looked pained. ‘Mum told her she loved it and already owned a set exactly the same. It put us both right off.’
I laughed so hard that Noah had to give in and see the funny side.
‘Anyway,’ he argued, ‘why would she need common sense when she’s such an adorable tiny pixie?’ He batted his long blond eyelashes at me and flashed his dimples.
‘Get out of here, before I chuck,’ I said, poking him in th
e ribs. He’d always teased me about my farm-muscled shoulders and height, so I knew we were reverting back to our normal friendly banter. He grabbed my hand mid-poke and held onto it. ‘I’ve missed you, Lain. It hasn’t been the same without you around.’
For some reason, I couldn’t meet his eyes. ‘I know, Noah, and I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’ll try harder to be reasonable next time, I promise.’
He held my hand a moment longer, and took a short breath as if he wanted to say more, but then turned and walked out the door. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’
The moment Aunt Lily returned on Wednesday afternoon, I plonked myself onto the couch and lay there like a lizard in the sun. I never wanted to move again. My bones felt like they had been replaced with jelly crystals and my head hurt. Aunt Lily poured herself a glass of wine and joined me.
‘How did you go? Any miracle cures for me?’ I asked as I plucked bits of fluff off the tired cushion I was cuddling and stared up at the ceiling. It had different cornices than the ceiling above my bed. I’d never noticed before. It was a reflection of the number of sleepless nights I’d spent staring up at it lately.
‘Not yet, still working on it. It’ll take a bit of chemical wizardry to find something unusual and then try to duplicate it without telling anyone why. My friend thinks I’m looking for mining contaminants. Luckily he’s very much against the coal seam extraction process so he’s been eager for the opportunity to test the water. How did you manage here?’
‘I had to ask Noah to help.’
She put her glass down gently. ‘Oh. I understand. Is it still awkward between you?’
‘Yes, but it’s better than it was. I apologised.’
‘About time. It’s been weird not having him around.’
Something in my chest felt hot and swirly and unpleasant. ‘Well, you’ll have to get used to that. He’ll be off to the city in a couple of months, after all.’
‘And you too?’ she asked tentatively.
‘Yeah.’ She looked wistful. ‘And if you go too, I’ll have to get another cat to keep me company. Or perhaps a strapping young farmhand or two.’
‘Me? How can I go anywhere? I’m stuck here, remember? Especially if I’m the only Cherub around to do whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing.’
She picked up my hand. ‘I was joking. I do know you have to stay. You’ll still study, though. Most of the courses you applied for can be done by correspondence, with only a few trips into Melbourne each semester.’
‘So you knew this was coming?’
‘Lainie, even if Harry was still around I knew you would have some problems. Do you remember the last trip overseas we took?’
‘Not really, I spent most of it feeling dizzy and nauseated.’ Rotten homesickness. That had been a few years ago though, and I’d assumed it would pass as I got older. ‘Was that because of the nutrient I can only get from here?’
‘Possibly. I really will do everything I can to try to solve that issue, but I’m not confident that’s all it is. I think you’re meant to stay in Nalong.’
That was what Harry had implied, too. ‘So that’s it?’ I snapped. ‘I’m just supposed to settle down here and farm for the rest of my life?’
‘Would that be so bad?’
In an unusual moment of clarity I realised that she had done exactly that, for me. Somehow I’d never considered that she might have had another life planned. Did she ever have a different career? A relationship with someone special? Just what had she given up to look after me, knowing we had to stay in this town permanently? I cuddled the cushion again. ‘Sorry. I guess I just need some time to adjust to the idea. I don’t like having my choices taken away from me. I didn’t mean to sound so petulant.’
Her face softened. ‘It’s fine. Totally understandable. We’ll find a way, Lainie. I want you to study. I want you to have every opportunity that your parents didn’t. We’ll work something out.’
She left to unpack her bag, while I lay back, staring at the non-matching cornices and recalibrating all my life’s goals.
Chapter 12
Friday afternoon was stinking hot to the point where we could have easily cooked eggs on the pavement. We were all dressed formally for our school graduation ceremony and our assembly hall wasn’t air conditioned. Some of the parents in the seating at the back were nodding off by the end of Mr Davis’s address. I couldn’t believe this was the last time we would have to sit through one of his speeches. Taylor cried as the ceremony ended, which set some of the other girls off as well, and I became heartily sick of them coming up to me for soggy hugs, congratulating me on making school dux and trying to make me promise I would Facebook them every day. It was a relief when someone suggested we all head down to the river for a swim before the after-party at the pub.
Noah made it into the water first, courtesy of the fact that he didn’t bother to take off anything but his shoes. He dive-bombed in off the bridge with a good loud yodel and half the class followed him like lemmings. We had all swum there for years and knew where it was safe to jump. I stripped down to my bathers, while on the riverbank the Barbies squealed about how cold it was and that they couldn’t possibly get their hair wet before the party. Which was probably just as well because there were a lot of bikinis that looked unsafe for any sort of decent current strength. Ridiculous.
The short moment of free-fall from the bridge was delicious, but as soon as I hit the water I realised I had a serious problem. The water was energising, but the music rippling through it was so overpowering that I burst into tears. The agony of its cry ripped through me like a shockwave. Lost! Something so lost, yearning to find … someone? So alone. So sad … With shallow gasps I floundered back to the riverbank, slipping painfully on the rocks. Trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, I scrambled up on to the rough grass, trembling and hoping no one would notice my tears given that I was wet through anyway.
Noah did. He followed me out. He may not have had my gift of reading people, but he still always seemed to know when I was trying to hide something.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as he sat next to me on the grass, his jade eyes brimming with concern.
‘Nothing, I’m fine. You go enjoy playtime. I’m going to lie in the shade for a while,’ I said as I rummaged through my bag for my towel and sundress.
‘Can I get you some water?’
‘No thanks, I drank enough of the river.’
‘Ah, Lainie, that’s not really the best idea when there are eleven sweaty guys swimming in there.’
Groaning, I lay back and tried not to think about it.
‘I think I might stay out of the water for a while anyway so let me know if I can get you anything,’ he offered, taking off his drenched shirt. He looked a bit uncomfortable.
‘Really, I’m fine, Noah, stop worrying. Go and show your abs off somewhere else.’ I was confused and grumpy and struggling to keep my attention away from the dirge echoing around my skull.
Shrugging, he got to his feet and went off to join the game of footy that had inevitably started up. He looked about as tired as I felt, although he was hiding it well. The searing heat must have been getting to him too.
The late afternoon sun reflected from the beast’s eyes as it stared hungrily at the prize. We crouched, facing each other, muscles tense and both staring hungrily at the prize. Under no circumstances was I going to allow the beast to have it. It was mine to protect, and my will was stronger because I had a far greater appreciation of what it was worth. It was awe-inspiring, legendary. Battles had been fought over it, the battle songs known by all.
The prize rolled, arcing slightly, but neither of us allowed the movement to distract our concentration. I was good at this game but my opponent wasn’t the same species I was used to. My usual opponents didn’t generally growl quite so convincingly, or raise their hackles to such a bristly ridge of tan fur. The slobb
er wasn’t new though, sadly.
Jake’s dog growled again, so I did too. His language was clear. My ball. Back off.
I crouched even lower until the end of my thick plait was trailing in the dust. The lowering sun still had a bite and I could feel the back of my neck burning. My fingers pressed against the hard soil, painfully trying to support my weight, only I couldn’t move because my face was already way too close to the animal’s yellow teeth as it was. The dog looked like a Besser brick on legs. The sort of creature that could be three days dead and still keep its jaws locked around a rabbit.
My ball. Mine, I told it silently. Your voracious instincts will only ruin it.
‘Lainie, let it go. We should probably start getting ready for the pub anyhow.’ Noah almost sounded worried.
‘My ball,’ I snarled, and my friend made a frustrated sort of gargle in the back of his throat.
At the sound of my voice the animal took its gaze from the prize to stare at me instead, growled again, and I made the mistake of looking straight back into its cold black eyes. Direct eye contact with a predator was not ideal and the creature had just shifted the game to much higher stakes. In retrospect, growling back at it had possibly not been the smartest idea. I was a threat now, and it was too dangerous for me to look away. The beast’s lip curled upwards and a nice gooey trail of saliva dripped from its mouth. I almost expected the grass it fell onto to hiss and dissolve and for a second I was sure I could see a dull red glow behind the animal’s irises.
Then one front paw twitched and I very nearly flinched away. My heart rate doubled.
Behind me, Noah was calling to the other players. ‘Chuck us that tennis ball. Lainie’s about to become puppy food!’
A few more tense moments passed, during which I wondered whether I should have made out a will, or if Aunt Lily would just toss all my stuff onto the next bonfire the way she often threatened to. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a tennis ball begin to bounce, enticingly close.
Songlines Page 7
