Songlines

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Songlines Page 26

by Carolyn Denman


  ‘I really am sorry about what I did today,’ I said as I bundled up the net wrapping from the hay and tossed it onto the back of the ute.

  ‘Don’t apologise. You’re not the one who threw aside an innocent girl like she was a paper doll. I should have controlled myself better.’ He latched up the back of the tray with far more force than it required.

  ‘It was my fault that I put you in that situation, though. You couldn’t help what you did.’

  He spun to face me. ‘Couldn’t I? How is this compulsion any excuse to hurt Tessa? She’s been through enough already. She didn’t deserve what I did. I should have been able to hold back.’ He had the same look on his face that I had been so familiar with back at school.

  I glared right back. ‘I wish you had! Then she would have given me what I deserved. But then you still would have suffered. I’m the one who messed up. I didn’t think through the consequences. I just wanted Tessa to see that she really was capable of protecting Noah. I guess even I underestimated how effective she could be.’

  His expression softened a fraction. ‘She was pretty fast. I nearly didn’t get to you in time,’ he admitted. ‘Does she really doubt her ability to protect him?’

  ‘Probably even more so now,’ I sulked, ‘given that she was the one who ended up injured.’ I’d made a complete mess of things. Poor Tessa.

  Bane leant against the ute, still frowning, but thoughtfully. ‘I wonder if she would be interested in doing a bit of training with me. Just some basic combat techniques. And some self-defence.’

  I raised my eyebrows at him. ‘Who would you ever need to fight? No one’s likely to attack us, you know.’ Even Mr Beckinsale wouldn’t go that far, surely.

  Bane just shrugged and jumped into the ute, slamming the door. He wasn’t going to forgive himself that easily, but at least I’d managed to get him to talk to me again.

  My valley.

  Looking down into the dense foliage the following day, I reflected that the valley owned me far more than I owned it. Deep down I was beginning to understand the relationship my people had with this country. Dry gusts of wind made a symphony of dancing leaves in every direction, as if the eagles were conducting an orchestra of trees right across the valley. My hair apparently wanted to dance to the music too, and refused to stay in its ponytail for longer than a minute at a time.

  With his shirt sleeves rolled up and sweaty hair messed from his helmet, Noah was methodically walking along the edge of the ridge, with Tessa hovering behind. Every now and again he would stop as if trying to sense where the boundary was. He noticed my puzzled expression.

  ‘I’m trying to feel where the Event Horizon crosses over the cliff,’ he explained. I raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Think about it. If it sometimes crosses inside a cave, and Harry was sometimes able to feel it on his side of the cliff face, then the most likely explanation is that the boundary runs in a clean straight line. This ridge is uneven, so sometimes the edge of the cliff will be on one side of it, sometimes the other. If we can find a spot where the cliff juts out a bit, we should be able to cross over.’

  Sometimes Noah accidentally revealed just how smart he was. How careless of him. I followed him up the hill. It would be a huge advantage if we could see where we were trying to get to. Even I hadn’t been keen on the idea of jumping into the complete unknown, even if Harry did say it was an open landscape. Bane found my hand and gripped it, and I squeezed back reassuringly. It hadn’t helped last time, but if it made him feel calmer I was happy to oblige.

  It was another half an hour before we found what we had been searching for. I was watching a giant wedge-tailed eagle fly out from the cliff when it suddenly vanished in mid-air, as if to show us how it should be done. I had no idea what the rules were for animals crossing the boundary, but if any were to be allowed in, it would be those amazing birds. And possibly doves. Suddenly I heard Tessa cry out as Noah disappeared from view.

  ‘Calm down, Tess. Don’t get too close to the edge trying to find him, it won’t help,’ I called, hurrying to where he had vanished. I had felt him disappear as well and I realised now how disturbing it was.

  Bane pulled me up short. ‘Lainie. Please be careful. I can’t help you once you cross. Please don’t get too carried away.’

  I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, which startled him enough that he let me go.

  ‘I’ll only be a few minutes, I promise. I just want to have a look.’

  He took his watch off and strapped it to my wrist. I got the message. Then he nodded and planted his feet, standing with his arms crossed and looking seriously vigilant as if on sentry duty. I smiled at him, winked, and then stepped across the boundary into Paradise.

  Chapter 33

  Once again I felt the peculiar feeling of something moving through my skin and wrapping itself around some hidden part of me, as if part of my soul was being held back, unable to cross. The dry wind fell flat, replaced with a sweet humid breeze that I couldn’t help but inhale deeply to catch the floral scent. My mind was momentarily blank as I stared out across the valley, until I noticed Noah sitting at my feet with his legs dangling over the edge of the cliff and silent tears streaming down his face. There was so little space between the boundary and the massive drop below us that I had to move very carefully.

  I cautiously sat down next to him, trying not to crush the delicate flowers that had somehow managed to grow right up to the stony edge. Intense beauty slapped each of my senses as if scolding me for taking so long to arrive and appreciate it, and in that instant everything I thought I understood about perfection changed. The prettiest diamond, the most breathtaking view, the most delicious chocolate and the softest silk all suddenly stank in my memory in comparison to what I was experiencing of Eden.

  Noah and I stared, overwhelmed by the beauty that was inherent in everything we saw. We had to keep blinking away the instinctive tears that came from the profound realisation that we had come home. My mind struggled to absorb the dichotomy between the two worlds. It was as if all the best fantasy writers and movie artists from around the globe had brainstormed together to create the perfect faerie tale land and then handed their ideas over to God, who then surreptitiously chucked the whole lot out while they weren’t looking and made Eden instead. It was a thousand times better.

  Every one of my pores was busy trying to absorb the heavenly fragrance of the air. Honey-sweet and delicately perfumed with spicy blossoms, I would have paid a fortune for even a tiny bottle of such a scent. It was so very real. Where my mind had naively imagined a pink sky and sparkling rainbows, instead I saw natural grass and trees and rippling fields. It was Earth. But it was perfect. It was also huge. Clearly Eden was so much more than a small valley of manicured lawns. We could see majestic snow-capped mountains in the distance where a moment ago there had been dry dusty plains. There were thick forests to the north full of huge trees and birds flying everywhere. I could see magnificent herds of animals below. Some I recognised but some I didn’t, and I was itching to get closer and see what they all were. There were so many that it reminded me of the start of the Lion King. If there had been a lion cub handy I would have lifted it up to show them all. It was all simply spectacular. And at the heart of it all was a wide river that embraced the land in its soft curves. No. It wasn’t a river, it was the River. It was so majestic that it defined the word. And apparently I wasn’t the only one who felt the need to redefine my language.

  ‘Ambrosial,’ Noah whispered. ‘I get what it means now.’ He took my hand in his. We had shared so much of our lives and I was deeply gratified that he was with me for this. His presence was so comforting now that I was faced with the reality of our task. This place was sacrosanct, and needed to remain a secret. There was no doubt in my mind that if the human race knew all this was here, they would stop at nothing until they found a way in. And that could not be permitted. I rested my head on his shoulder and stared out
over Paradise.

  Despite my intention to only spend a few short minutes there, when I checked Bane’s watch I realised that more than forty minutes had passed since we had first arrived. Even then it was difficult to feel any sense of urgency. I knew the other two would be frantic but it was so hard to focus on why that was such a big problem. They would want us to cross back.

  ‘So is it possible?’ I asked Noah quietly. He knew what I meant. We were both impatient to get down there.

  He nodded. ‘Very possible. There are plenty of places to land and plenty of birds to show us where the thermals are.’

  I stood and pulled Noah up with me. ‘We need to go,’ I told him.

  ‘Already? Why?’ he asked sounding surprised and slightly annoyed.

  ‘Tess will be worried.’

  ‘But I’m fine. Why should she worry?’

  ‘Because she doesn’t know that you’re fine. She will want you to come back now.’ I tugged at him as I tried to concentrate on how the others must be feeling. I didn’t want them to feel bad and that seemed to be the only thing that mattered to me. I dragged Noah away from the view. A moment of confusion made me pause as I came to terms with the fact that the view behind me had also completely altered. Lush forest growth begged for exploration, and just a couple of metres from where I stood a giant lace monitor clung to the side of a ridged tree trunk. There was no evidence to suggest that I couldn’t walk straight up to it. Suddenly concerned that we had somehow become lost, I stretched out my fingers to feel for the boundary. Did I even want to feel it? A very dominant part of me wanted it to be gone so that I could just step forward and be part of this new world. A tingle met my touch, and I sighed in a mixture of relief and disappointment.

  Remembering how Bane’s hand always dissolved out of my grasp as I crossed over, I pushed Noah through from behind so I could be sure he wouldn’t get distracted again. The second I crossed over I was hit by such a crushing wave of guilt that I started trembling. I had promised Bane I would be quick. I’d wanted to show him I could be trusted, but I hadn’t counted on the complete lack of focus that I’d had once I crossed over. It was incredible that Harry had made it to our meetings at all.

  It looked like Bane had been pacing along the ridge because he spun around as soon as I appeared. He was visibly struggling not to run over and throw himself at me like last time, so I went to him instead and hugged him an apology. He held me for what would have been considered far too long in polite company but I was in no hurry to move. I could feel his heart thumping in his chest, subsiding as his anxiety lessened. My body yearned to hold him closer and my mind struggled to remember why that was a bad thing to do. All I could think of was kissing him again as I felt him stroke my hair, and I started to turn my face towards his, but then he let me go and I almost cried. Perhaps my feelings were magnified by the fact that I had just walked away from the most spiritual experience of my life, because it was physically painful the way I ached for him. Just as well he had pulled away. I crossed my arms to prevent myself from reaching out to him.

  Noah and Tessa showed no such restraint. It was even worse than when Claudia had been all over him. Claudia had kissed him in public to show the world that he was hers, but Tessa kissed him as if the rest of the world didn’t exist. A small wave of jealousy washed over me, but I wasn’t sure if it was because she was stealing my best friend away or because what they had was so refreshingly uncomplicated. Probably both.

  ‘So what’s it like?’ Bane asked, distracting me from my thoughts. I looked up at him dreamily. I wanted to tell him it was like looking into his eyes when he smiled at me. It was beautiful and peaceful and easy, and full of exciting promises.

  ‘It’s amazing. It’s so pretty, and real, and … huge.’ I stumbled over the ridiculously inadequate words. I wanted so much to be able to share this with him. If only he could see it. Guilt welled in the back of my throat at the thought. He couldn’t be allowed to know! I couldn’t tell him anything. My head was filled with such conflicting thoughts. I desperately wanted him to experience Eden and yet I felt appalled at the thought of allowing him to know any details. It made no sense but that didn’t change a thing. It was such a fundamental part of who we all were and I couldn’t even begin to explain it to him. Now that I had experienced Eden for myself, I understood why our lives had been turned upside down, and all of it seemed such a paltry price to pay to safeguard something so precious, but he would never know. I just kind of sobbed and exhaled in frustration while he waited for me to say more.

  ‘You can’t tell me,’ he realised, with only the slightest hint of jealousy. ‘It’s okay. I understand what that’s like. I can see it was a profound experience for you and that’s all I need to know. If you want to get into Eden then I’ll do what I can to help you. Just don’t try to tell me it’s for my benefit.’

  I nodded soberly. There were so many reasons for me to get into that valley; if he didn’t want to hear my main one, that was fine by me. I had plenty more.

  Chapter 34

  By the time we met Harry again, we had a plan more or less finalised. Noah would ‘borrow’ the tandem harness he’d been practising with at the training centre and attach it to his own glider. If anyone ever found out, he could kiss his licence goodbye, but Noah never let anything stand in the way of what he wanted for long. He assured me that he could safely take us both on a short flight with minimal risk, but he would have to return the harness as quickly as possible before anyone noticed it was missing. I was curious as to who he would have to charm to get away with such a stunt.

  Harry was happy to scout out a suitable area for landing, and he and Noah spent considerable time discussing the safest way to do it. Meanwhile, I was rapidly becoming more worried about getting out than getting in. Tessa suggested that if our abilities were based on the need to protect Eden then perhaps they could engineer a threat that would force us to come out. Her reasoning felt ridiculously flimsy to me, and naturally Noah and I hated the idea, but Bane and Tessa ignored us. They schemed between themselves, explaining that the less we knew about it, the better the threat would work, as we wouldn’t know if the danger was real or not. I argued that I already knew the threat wouldn’t be real so it wouldn’t work anyway. Tessa just smiled secretively.

  The biggest flaw I saw in their plan was Sarah. If there was a Cherub available outside Eden to stop the threat, then we wouldn’t be needed, so we wouldn’t be compelled to force our way out.

  ‘I’ll talk to her,’ Harry stated. ‘She’s never wanted anything to do with Eden so it shouldn’t be hard to convince her to leave the area.’ He looked sombre, as if he was unhappy with her, or perhaps, like me, he was simply uncomfortable that we were planning to deliberately leave the place unprotected just so we could manipulate our powers in order to get home again. Harry’s rock fall had not been a bad idea, and he wouldn’t have been able to do it if he hadn’t believed it was necessary. And if Kolsom did get their licence approved and send people into the area, then the last thing we should be doing was trying to remove it. We’d sent a well-worded email with a few photo attachments to the Office of Aboriginal Affairs, which seemed to have achieved what a host of community rallies could not. Kolsom’s licence application was immediately put on hold while our submission to have the valley listed on the Heritage Register was being processed. That whole afternoon was spent doing nothing but eating gelati and listening to Tessa’s trip-hop music playlist to celebrate, but Aunt Lily warned us that there was still a lot of work to do before the process was complete.

  ‘It would be easier if Harry could talk to them,’ she said to me that evening when we were picking the first of the plums in our little orchard. ‘He’s got a way of talking to people that makes them see things his way, and he’s the recognised Elder for this area. Do you think you can really bring him home?’

  I thought about what Sarah had said to me, about how I shouldn’t try to talk him
into coming back if he didn’t want to, but Aunt Lily was right. He was needed here. ‘That’s why you’re letting me go, isn’t it?’

  She put her bucket down and turned to me. ‘Lainie, we both know that I couldn’t stop you from going, nor would I. Your authority far exceeds mine when it comes to Eden. I have to trust that you know what you’re doing.’

  ‘I’ll come back. I will.’

  She hugged me. ‘If you can.’

  Everything happened quite quickly after that. Noah and Tessa took some tandem flights together under the supervision of Noah’s instructor at the hang gliding centre. Part of the idea was that Tessa would hopefully feel more relaxed about him flying once she grew accustomed to how safe it really was. I wished I could do the same for Bane. Then Noah ‘accidentally’ brought the tandem harness home instead of his own. He hoped that would buy us a bit of time. I hoped we would be forgiven for lying.

  My own preparations basically consisted of spending a whole afternoon locked away in my room so I could draft a letter to Aunt Lily, thanking her for everything she’d done for me over the years, just in case we couldn’t return. Or in case I went loopy. It was a good letter. I made myself cry. I also left her with the Army Recruitment letter for Bane, with strict instructions to make sure he got it if I didn’t come home. And if that happened, what would my aunt tell everyone? So I put together a rather vague fake plan to go backpacking around Australia. It was a credible thing to do between school and uni, and it could last for as long as I needed it to.

  The most frustrating part was having to wait for the weather. Summer in the Wimmera was pretty predictable but it could get very windy. It felt like a lifetime passed before Noah finally declared that the conditions were adequate. We had both developed an uncanny affinity for the weather since the day we had called the storm, but just because I could sense changes in air pressure didn’t mean I could tell when it would be safe to jump off a cliff. Noah’s confidence was contagious, though, so when he called after dinner to confirm that the weather was still on track for the following morning, I did a little happy dance.

 

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