*****
“So he’s still trying to keep the war from happening.” Shawn put the letter down and looked up at me. His eyes were still caked with sleep since I had pounced on him the moment that I came back through the door.
“I think so. It also gives the hint that he feels as if I have forgotten him.” I sighed. “I didn’t know everything that was going to come with saving him. John said that he is heavily guarded and even with a hundred of our best fighters they would not get through the first layer of protection they have on him.”
“There are quite a few factors in place when it comes to Wesley. Dad has been working nonstop trying to come up with a solution. If summoning him to us would get us anywhere we would do it. However, even with all the power we do have none of us could muster the strength to summon either Lilly or her mother. Our only bet is a fight on the battlefield.” Shawn blinked and rubbed his eyes.
“I had a dream about the battlefield.” I looked at him and smirked. I had yet to tell anyone of the dream that I had.
“Do tell.” He looked at me with an intense look on his face.
I told him every bit of the dream. Every stinking second of it from the start to the end when I was pulled from my sleep. I didn’t know what to think of the faceoff between me and Miranda.
“If I didn’t know any better I would think you had a vision. Either that or you had a dream that you wish would come true.” He cracked his knuckles. “I am not the right person to dig into someone’s dreams. That is something you will have to discuss with Mara or one of the other nightmare demons.”
“That’s what I figured.” I groaned. Adam and Rose had yet to come out into the living room. It was nearing eleven and both of them were still sleeping, or at least one could assume sleeping.
“How was last night with Aaron?” He asked with one of his remarkable subject changes.
“It was good. I think I need get more information on the Incubus. It just seems a little messed up that is what he became.” I rolled my eyes.
“There is nothing wrong with an Incubus. They make dreams come true for so many.” Shawn smiled at me.
“But he has to do all those things.” I shivered.
“No he doesn’t. He doesn’t actually lie with them! He’s not the actual Incubus. He’s like an apprentice, he messes with people’s dreams and ambitions.” Shawn shook his head. “He’s a dream manipulator at most. He will never know love that was true, he will only know lust. However he can live quite happily in this world without ever having to actually do what the Incubus do.”
“Well that makes me feel a little better.” I laughed.
“Yeah if he was one of them you would never have seen his face.” Shawn smiled. “He didn’t lie though. He no longer has a soul. He can feel what he felt for you in his sleep only but when he wakes up you are no longer on his mind.”
“Is it true that he can only remember me because I’m not human?” I asked.
“That one I don’t know. I’ve been around for a long time but I do not know everything.” He touched my knee. “Just be happy he knows. Be happy they all know what you are. It makes things easier.”
I nodded and tried to smile. I heard voices in Adam’s room meaning that they had just woke up. It took another hour though before they actually left the sanctuary of Adam’s room. Rose’s hair was pulled back her gauges in her ears more noticeable now than they had been when I first met her. She had no make-up on her face but still had an amazing beauty.
Rose looked up and smiled at me. Her eyes were bright and extremely green at the moment. Adam walked out fully dressed. The moment his eyes met mine they darted back across the room. Shawn shifted uncomfortably and squeezed my hand. What was I supposed to think of that right now?
“Coffee?” Rose asked me sweetly. I looked at her blankly then pointed towards the kitchen. She nodded and walked away leaving me and Shawn with a very nervous Adam.
“You didn’t!” I seethed. It was the only thing I could think of to make Shawn twitch.
“No.” He whispered sitting down in the chair as far away from me as he could get. Shawn looked at me and nodded telling me it was the truth.
“Then what?” I whispered hoping that Rose couldn’t hear me in the kitchen.
“I let her do… things.” He raised his eyebrows and Shawn frowned.
“Let her do what things?” I whimpered. He had told me he was thinking about things not that he was thinking about doing things.
“Just things.” His eyes widened telling me that now was not the time to discuss what had happened.
Shawn leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Let’s just say it’s things that you have never done.” I nearly vomited. “No worries he is still pure. If you want to get technical.”
I looked at Adam and frowned. I was disappointed in him for doing anything with anyone. It wasn’t jealousy that I was feeling for not been the one he did it with. It was that now he was tainted by her. She had done things that I had never tried or even thought of. I cannot even put into words the grotesque things that came to mind when I thought about what had gone on behind those doors.
“You couldn’t tell me this morning what was going on?” I elbowed my brother.
“I turned off the link to Adam when Aaron showed up last night.” Shawn said looking like he had been punched in the gut.
“Wait Aaron was here? And here I was worried about you and how you felt. Was it as great as prom night?” He was pissed, almost as pissed as I was about Rose.
“Actually NO. We talked all night about all the things that he had seen since changing. We talked about the lack of emotion and the fact that he will never know what love feels like again.” I growled. “I was in no way in my room doing lord knows what unspeakable acts.”
“Well that’s a first.” It hurt. I will admit it tore through me like a knife.
“Really?” My face burned.
“I didn’t mean it that way Dawn.” He suddenly looked sorry.
“No, it’s ok I think you did.” I looked at a wide eyed Shawn. What was going on between Adam and me? Ever since I kissed him it seemed like we were being hit hard with fits of jealousy. Did this mean that we were not meant to be?
“It’s ok Dawn. He didn’t mean it that way.” Shawn said soothingly. I didn’t believe him though. I got up and walked back into my room slamming the door behind me.
I could count on one hand how many boys I had been with. Yes, Aaron and Wesley were extremely close together. No, I was not proud of that. It was just how it happened. I couldn’t control what my destiny had in front of me. I couldn’t control what my blood wanted me to do. When it wanted to claim a soul it went out of its way to make sure that I did.
I laid on my bed for about ten minutes thinking when I heard the door open. I rolled over and looked at a very sad faced Adam. He walked over and took a seat on the bed next to me.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen.” He said touching my shoulder. I pulled away from him. “I wish you would believe me Dawn. I had no intention of ever touching her.”
“But you did!” I groaned rolling onto my back and putting my hands to my face.
“You really didn’t do anything with Aaron when he was here?” He asked me like he didn’t believe me the first time I said nothing had gone on.
“NO.” I looked at him hurt in my eyes. “We talked. I miss him yes. I miss the connection we had but there is nothing there anymore. The way he looks at me isn’t the same as he used to.”
“I believe you.” He looked away from me for a second. “I was dreaming of you when she kissed me. It wasn’t until she was kissing my stomach that I realized that it wasn’t you.”
“That’s not helping.” I groaned.
“I don’t expect it to.” He sighed. “I think I need to let it pan out with Rose.”
“You have something with her that you don’t have with me that is fo
r sure.” I said feeling my heart laughing at me. How could I have been so stupid to think that this would work?
“Do you not think that I desire you?” He breathed. “Do you not think that I don’t want to touch you and hold you and know what you feel like?”
“I don’t know what you think. I cannot get into your head like my brother can.” My eyes were slits and I could feel the tears rising.
“Dawn, you have been my little wet dream since I met you. Hell even before I met you.” He reached out and touched my arm forcing me to look at him.
“But you find that you must do these things with another girl? Not that I would be ok with you going against morals in the first place. I have always respected your wishes.” I said my voice faltering. Oh God I was about to cry.
“I’m sorry.” He blinked like he was holding back tears himself.
“It’s probably for the best. We should just go back to the way we were before all of this. I am cursed anyway I would hate for you to become a hybrid of some sort and find you belong with the Queen’s Army like Wesley.” Oh how it hurt to say that.
“We can’t go back to what we were Dawn. I have tasted your lips, felt your heartbeat. I have vowed to protect you at all costs.” He touched my face. “However, with everything that is going on taking a step backwards may not be such a bad idea. Now that we know Wesley is alive.”
I coughed. “I wouldn’t say he was alive.”
“Whatever Dawn. He’s still holding out for you. He still loves you, you haunt his dreams.” He sighed. “As much as I hate saying it Wesley is your match.”
“I cannot be with him! Why can’t I get people to understand that? If he touches me wrong, or I burst into flames I will kill him.” I had to think for a second. “Assuming that he is a vampire I should say.”
“Are we good?” He asked me a longing look on his face.
“Yeah. I will be ok.” I lied. I wasn’t going to be ok. The one person that I had chosen on my own had decided to be with another Warden and not with me. He was supposed to be with me not with her! I felt the anger for a second and then it dissipated and fell in line with the other voids in my heart. I was destined to walk this world alone forever.
“Dawn?” My brother called from the living room. “Just talked to Dad we head home in two days.”
“Ok.” I replied and smiled at Adam. I was going to miss his kisses.
Wild Fire Page 23
