by Sandra Balzo
A Cup of Jo
A Maggy Thorsen Mystery
Sandra Balzo
Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Balzo
Chapter One
'A mime is a terrible thing to waste,' Sarah Kingston snarled. 'But damned if we shouldn't take a machine gun to this one, Maggy.'
She gestured toward the white-gloved performer not three feet in front of us.
'Be nice,' I said, shushing my friend and business partner. 'Mimes probably have a very tough time of it.'
Ignoring us, a lanky guy who looked as improbable a mime as Will Ferrell did an 'Elf', outlined an invisible door in the air, then rapped on it.
I cleared my throat. 'Socially, I mean.'
And no small wonder.
'Then why hire . . . it?'
'Him,' I corrected. After all, mimes must have feelings, too. Even this string bean, wearing a green beret, white face paint, red-and-white striped gondolier shirt, black short pants and puce suspenders.
No taste, apparently, but feelings. 'And I didn't hire the man, Sarah. JoLynne Penn-Williams must have, because she's responsible for our Brookhills end of the Milwaukee commuter-train dedication.'
'Oh, yeah?' My partner looked around. 'Then where is she? You can't unleash a mime on an unsuspecting populace and just walk away. There should be consequences.'
Sarah had a point. If not about the 'entertainment', at least about the event manager not being present to manage her own event.
After all, this was a big deal for Brookhills. As of today, September 1st, a regular train would connect downtown Milwaukee on the shores of Lake Michigan to our Brookhills Junction depot fifteen miles west. I say 'our' because – also, as of today – the depot was the new location of Uncommon Grounds, the gourmet coffeehouse Sarah and I co-owned.
The first train had departed quietly around dawn on a special run to carry our Brookhills County dignitaries – JoLynne presumably included – to the Milwaukee dedication. Following that, the 'big city' hotshots would climb aboard for the trip back to our celebration.
Since Milwaukee was far larger than our little suburb, I grudgingly had to admit their event should have priority. Besides, despite Jo Penn-Williams's temporary absence, everything for the combination commuter-train dedication and grand reopening of Uncommon Grounds had been in place when Sarah and I arrived.
The piece de resistance of the celebration, at least in my mind, was the giant, inflatable Uncommon Grounds cup and saucer situated atop the wooden framework – or 'gallows' – above us.
I had commissioned the 'advertising balloon' from JoLynne's husband, staging and props professional Kevin Williams. Balloon, inflatable, blow-up – whatever you chose to call it, the thing was magnificent, with just the right dash of kitchen kitsch.
Fifteen feet in diameter by five feet high and capable of holding nearly 5,000 gallons of coffee, should someone, not mentioning names, have considered filling it. A continual, varying flow of air made the cup and streamers of 'steam' shimmy and beckon like an animated snowman on a Christmas-tree lot.
In fact, the cup was odds-on favorite to be the most animated part of the ceremony, which would feature the requisite dry as dust speeches by our own Brookhills' County Executive Brewster Hampton and his counterpart from Milwaukee County, Wynona Counsel. Brewster was a long-time acquaintance and I knew Wynona through WoPro, a group of high-profile women in the metropolitan area.
Nice people, you understand, but not exactly lightning rods.
Nonetheless, the metro newspapers and television stations had sent teams to cover our event and they were spread out interviewing anyone they could find. In the distance I could see Mary, our town's head librarian, talking to a dark-haired female reporter and her camera operator, while a passing dog-walker held court for a print reporter.
I was itching to get down there and revel in my own fifteen seconds of fame now that I was satisfied our cup – elevated ten feet above the boarding platform on the aforementioned gallows – was high enough to be seen by the crowd, but not so high it would be outside a camera's frame.
'So,' said Sarah, head tilted toward the mime, tone laced with impatience and uneasiness, 'can't we just make it leave?'
'For the last time, it's a he.' The mime had abandoned his knocking on the make-believe door and instead opened it and stepped through. Once his second foot landed, he nearly collided with Kevin Williams as the props and staging guru came out a real door from the depot and on to the porch.
'Sorry,' Kevin said, seemingly instinctively, then looked the other guy up and down.
Obligingly, the mime began a clockwise pirouette.
'You sure that's a guy?' Sarah asked. 'It's got a braid of hair sticking out the back of its beret.'
'And a lump pushing out the front of his pants.' Emphasis on 'his'.
'There is that,' Sarah said admiringly as we watched the spinning mime reverse direction.
Kevin, though, had apparently had his fill of the whirling dervish. Keeping the door partially open with his foot, he gestured toward the narrow makeshift stairs leading up to the cup. 'For safety reasons, this part of the porch and boarding platform are closed.'
The mime stopped and stared deadpan, a jolly red, white and green giant.
Kevin folded his arms, biceps the girth of tree trunks.
'If a mime falls in the forest . . .' Sarah speculated.
I'd already been cheated – by a homicide – out of one grand opening. Damned if I was going to let it happen again. 'Knock it off,' I told the mime.
Sarah cocked her head. 'I think that's exactly what Kevin plans to do.'
Evidently coming to the same conclusion, the mime held up both hands in what could be interpreted as either surrender or surprise, depending on whether you were French or not.
Kevin and his massive arms stayed where they were.
One white-gloved hand dropped, the other slid down to shake.
The props man turned a gimlet eye to the offer, then reluctantly took it. 'Apology accepted. Now beat it.'
A salute by index finger to the rim of his beret, and the mime was gone.
Kevin turned to us. 'Just to let you know, the saucer part is fully inflated and sealed, so it'll provide a stable base. The air compressor for your cup – to keep it a-movin' and a-shakin' – is behind this depot wall, so the engine noise shouldn't override the dedication speeches.'
Pity.
'I ran the air supply hose –' he pointed toward a thick, blue snake '–up the gallows steps.'
My eyes followed the hose to the plywood decking the cup and saucer rested on. The more you heard the word, the more like a man-made 'hanging tree' our framework looked.
'Gallows?' Sarah had a foot on the first step of its staircase. 'Do we have a trapdoor thingy, too? You know, like in the movies?'
'Nah.' Kevin shrugged. 'We don't want uneven spots supporting the cup and saucer. Sorry.'
'I'm not.' This from me. Trapdoors undoubtedly cost extra. And think of the liability. 'However, we do need to keep people away somehow so they don't trip over the hose or try to climb up to the balloon.'
'Not to mention walk off with my equipment,' said Kevin.
'Equipment?' Sarah was looking at the sun-faded, ratty hose, then tracked it through our depot door to a grubby, oil-blotched air compressor. 'You're telling me there are lamebrains who actually steal this stuff?'
'Equipment and decorations, lights and even batteries. That's why we don't set up anything but the scaffolding and stage itself until the day of the event. My crew and I have been here since four a.m. erecting everything else. It's either schedule that way or post, and pay, a security guard.'
I looked up at our oversized tea service. 'I'd dare them to get that out of here.'
'You'd be surp
rised. I was telling someone last night about an event I did in a corporate boardroom. Picture this: two guys get off the elevator, broad daylight. They roll up a twelve-foot by fifteen-foot Oriental rug and just walk off with it.'
'Count your blessings,' Sarah said. 'If Maggy was running that show, there would've been a corpse wrapped up in—'
I dug an elbow into my 'friend's' side. 'Just ignore her,' I said to Kevin who seemed a little taken aback. 'She has a macabre sense of humor.'
Sarah tipped her head toward the high framework. 'You might even say "gallows humor".'
Before our conversation could degenerate any further, I pulled out my cellphone and checked the time. 7:40 a.m. 'Kevin, do you have somebody to put here? Sarah and I need to be onstage for the ceremony, and Amy and Tien are busy.'
Barista Amy Caprese and Chef Tien Romano were providing complimentary food and coffee for the attendees at a table under our big 'Now Open!' banner facing the street.
'Yeah,' Sarah said. 'We'd better get over there. Hate to keep any . . . body . . . hanging.'
Oh, boy. 'You don't intend to let this "gallows" thing go, do you?'
'Not on your . . . life.' A giggle.
'Why don't you two head out?' Kevin wisely suggested. 'I'll get some yellow caution tape from my truck to rope off this whole side of the porch.' He ducked back inside the depot.
'It's too late.'
Startled, I turned toward the direction of the new voice.
Kate McNamara, editor and publisher of the Brookhills Observer, and now – God help us – occasional on-air reporter for a regional cable news operation, dug her three-inch heels into the gravel slope to the track side of our stage. Apparently it was Kate I'd seen interviewing Mary the Librarian.
'What's too late?' I asked.
'The train,' supplied Kate's camera operator, trudging up the loose rocks to join her. 'I know they're not on a regular schedule until tomorrow, but if the locomotive and cars don't get here soon, our live coverage'll be bumped into the eight o'clock hour.'
Nobody wanted that, especially me. Commuters heading downtown – our coffee and cream, if not our bread and butter – would already have left home by eight.
Then I did a double-take. 'Jerome, is that you?'
The camera operator had the same freckled face and glasses I remembered from his college internship, but now the short blonde hair had matured into a longish man-shag, and the head it was attached to stood a good deal higher than the last time he and I were together.
'Great to see you again, Maggy.' Jerome set down his camera and extended his hand. 'It's been awhile.'
We shook. 'About a year. And six inches of height, by my guesstimation. I barely recognized you.'
'A real job and a growth spurt at twenty-two,' Jerome said, flashing a grin. 'Crazy, huh?'
'Hey, you're not such a shrimp anymore,' Sarah said, leaning over the porch railing. 'In fact, you've jumped enough rungs on the studly ladder to be entering its "hot" zone.'
I wanted to smack her for embarrassing Jerome, but . . . despite a peculiar way of expressing herself, Sarah was right. The nerdish Brookhills Community College kid who operated a camera at last year's coffee convention (don't ask: the gathering didn't end well) was now a handsome young man.
Jerome pushed a hank of hair out of his eyes, looking more pleased than embarrassed. His boss, on the other hand, seemed downright annoyed.
'Leave him alone,' Kate snapped.
'Whoa.' Sarah held up her hands theatrically like the mime had earlier. 'No offense meant.'
The news team moved away, Kate throwing us a dirty look that Jerome tried to dilute with an apologetic smile. Sarah leaned into me. 'So, Maggy, what do you think? Mama Bear or Katie Cougar?'
'Katie what?' I was scanning the eastern horizon for a sign of smoke. On the other hand, did locomotives still produce skyward plumes? I really should Google that, given our business was now located in a train station.
'Cougar,' repeated Sarah.
Still not tumbling to it, I swiveled back to my partner. 'Her name is not . . . ohhh.'
'"Ohhh" indeed. Tell me you didn't have the same dirty thought.'
We both turned to watch Kate and Jerome, heads close together as the on-air talent gave the off-air technician an earful. Of something.
'Honestly?' I felt a convulsive shiver. 'I did not.'
No need to see the eye-roll. 'They're both adults. You are so naive, Maggy.'
Naive?
I'd been married for twenty years to the same man and, on the day our son Eric went off to college, my dentist husband said he was leaving me for a twenty-I-forget-how-old.
Ted had been screwing his hygienist, and, eventually, she screwed him right back in an entirely different and – at least from my standpoint – infinitely more satisfying way.
Meanwhile, I'd quit my well-paying public relations job at First National Bank in a fit of pique and started a coffeehouse with two friends, one of whom was found dead in a pool of skim milk the morning we opened. The other abandoned me after we'd been forcibly closed by, euphemistically put, an 'act of God'.
Currently, I was reopening Uncommon Grounds in a century-and-a-half-old train station with Sarah Kingston, my insufficiently medicated, bipolar friend, with whom I had stumbled on not one, not two, but at least four (give or take) dead bodies in the prior eleven months. Oh, and I was dating our county sheriff, who, understandably perhaps, was beginning to fear he, as a law-enforcement officer, was wooing the female equivalent of a Jonah.
So, naive? I think not. Certifiable? Perhaps.
'C'mon,' Sarah continued. 'You just don't want to accept the "cougar concept" because when you look at Jerome, you really see Eric.'
My son was only – what, three years younger than the camera operator? The thought of someone Kate's age hitting on him . . . ugh. No, beyond ugh.
A change of subjects seemed best. 'Look, there's Rebecca.' I pointed out into the crowd. 'Maybe she knows where JoLynne is.'
Rebecca Penn, JoLynne Penn-William's younger sister, was one of our business neighbors in Brookhills Junction. Rebecca and her significant other, Michael Inkel, owned Penn and Ink, a graphics and marketing firm across the street from the depot.
As siblings, JoLynne and Rebecca were eerily identical, except for their respective sizes. If they were pure-bred dogs, JoLynne would be the miniature poodle, Rebecca the standard. Both impeccably groomed, but in different classes.
And with vastly different . . . temperaments.
'You really think Rebecca is keeping tabs on Jo?' Sarah asked. 'I mean, except to keep her away from Michael?'
Rebecca (tall, gorgeous and brunette) was walking next to Michael (taller, more gorgeous and blonde). She was wearing an electric-blue wrap-dress, he a black suit. As usual, Rebecca appeared to be giving Michael hell for something as the two made their way to the stage.
I said, 'Our Rebecca sees red any time Michael so much as talks to another woman. Including her own sister.'
'And you.' Sarah slewed her eyes toward mine. 'Grrrrrrowl.'
'Now, I'm a cougar?' I shook my head. 'Sorry, but no. Nor a puma or mountain lion, either. And I'm certainly not interested in Michael. He just likes to occasionally talk to a woman who doesn't give him shit.'
'So where is the man you're interested in?' Sarah asked, looking around. 'No Brookhills County Sheriff Jake Pavlik at his own jurisdiction's celebration?'
I checked my cell again for the nth time. 7:51. 'He should be here soon. Pavlik's driving back from a two-day conference in Chicago. He's been gone since Sunday afternoon.'
'Chicago? But that's just a ninety-minute cruise on the Interstate. I'm surprised your Romeo didn't come back last night. You two could have had a sleepover.'
I shrugged. 'Pavlik planned to, but called early evening to say he was beat. He'd checked in with his office and found nothing pressing, so decided to stay for one more night and start back early this morning. You know, to avoid the Tuesday afternoon rush hour?'
Couldn't argue with Sarah's traffic logic, but I wasn't liking the greater implication 'What do you mean by "right"?'
'I just figured you might be skeptical, what with your ex having used his fake "dental conferences" to shack-up with Rachel.'
Rachel. Once Ted's illicit lover and now, for better or worse – mostly worse – his wife. Leave it to Sarah to pinch where she thought it might hurt.
'Pavlik is not Ted,' I said.
'Right,' she repeated.
Damn right, I was right.
Glancing around restlessly, I caught sight of the mime scuttling after Rebecca and Michael. The poor guy didn't know what he was getting himself into.
'Why are you so antsy?' Sarah asked. 'There's nothing for us to do before the train arrives. And, speaking of which, your old friend Anita Hampton will be on it with her husband and the rest of the "dignitaries".'
'I'll notify Reuters.'
Anita Hampton, married to Brookhills County Executive Brewster Hampton, was coordinating the Milwaukee celebration at the east end of the fifteen-mile route. Both counties employed event managers – JoLynne for Brookhills, Anita for Milwaukee.
I'd introduced Anita to her husband Brewster when she took over First National's public relations department. Very quickly I'd learned to ignore most of my new boss's hyperactive kibitzing and extract the ten per cent of criticism that made a positive difference.
I could picture Anita now, fashionably slim, tapping one manicured finger on a pursed lip as she contemplated our depot. 'Are you truly satisfied with this, Maggy? Wouldn't moving the entire building just a foot to the southwest make a world of difference?'
'Maggy, shouldn't our lettering have been bigger?'
I jumped thanks to reflexive memory, but the words had come from Sarah. Taking a deep breath, I looked up at the navy-blue stenciling against our signature white cup.
'I'd have preferred bigger,' I admitted. 'Problem is, "Uncommon" and "Grounds" are both fairly long words. Any larger and, even stacked one above the other, they'd wrap around the entire circumference of the cup. All the cameras would see in one frame is "omm ound".'
