by Karen Booth
There was an edge to his voice that made her think there was more to it. Deep down, she wanted nothing more than to know more about Jake. He knew so much about her, had been fully pulled into her life from time to time. He knew her sister. He’d even met her mom at business school graduation. She knew next to nothing about him. “Was this when you lived in San Diego? What kind of accident?”
“Skateboard. I got off balance and went flying into a metal railing. I was just a stupid kid goofing around with his friends. It really wasn’t that big of a deal.”
She knew enough not to ask any more about the scar. “Did you skateboard a lot? Is that what you were into when you were younger?”
“Most kids in San Diego either skateboard or surf. It’s just a Southern California thing. I wasn’t anything special.”
She scanned his face for some sign of what he was feeling, of why he was getting so on edge about this subject. “I’m sure you were all kinds of special.”
“You’re the one who’s special.” He murmured the words into her hair, his arm around her tight. “I don’t think I should leave tonight without us making a real plan to see each other. I was thinking maybe even a date.”
Sophie set aside her disappointment over his deflecting about his past. She could hardly believe what she was hearing. “I thought you wanted to keep things under your hat.”
“That was a stupid suggestion. Especially since it was keeping me away from you. I don’t care what people say or think.”
Sophie didn’t want to get too carried away, but she loved that he wanted to be a little reckless because of her. “What did you have in mind?”
“Whatever you want. Something fun.”
Of course, in December, everything Sophie wanted to do in the city revolved around Christmas. Maybe this could be another chance to chip away at his grumpy holiday attitude and help him see the joy and merriment through her eyes. “I haven’t been to the Holiday Market at Bryant Park yet this year. I love going. I usually end up buying a ton of gifts.”
Jake laughed. “With all of the amazing restaurants, bars and theater productions in the city, you want to go to that?”
“Yes. It’s fun.” She sat back and eyed him. “Have you been?”
“I haven’t, but I can see it from the windows of my office. I see it every day right now.”
She sensed that he wasn’t thrilled about the prospect, but she decided to ignore that. She’d have to prove to him that they could have fun doing something he would normally avoid. “Then perfect. I’ll scoop you up from work tomorrow night and I’ll show you what you’ve been missing.”
“I already know what I’ve been missing.” He kissed her shoulder and caressed her arm softly. “I missed you, Soph. Is that crazy? After only two days?”
Goose bumps raced over the surface of her skin. She’d missed him, too. So much. “It’s not crazy. At all.”
Eight
Jake’s plan for the Holiday Market was to indulge Sophie for an hour or two. He’d let her work out her Christmas urges—retail therapy or whatever they called it. Then he would whisk her away to his penthouse apartment, open a bottle of incredible wine, feed her a fabulous meal and, if all was right, take her to bed. The tryst in her office had been super hot, but he didn’t want her to think a quickie on a desk was all he was after. Sophie deserved a soft bed and fine bedding. She deserved the luxury of a man who would take his time with her, which was precisely what he intended to do.
He was busy answering an email when Audrey buzzed the line in his office. “Mr. Wheeler, Ms. Eden is here.”
Jake sprang from his desk chair like it was the ejector seat in a fighter jet. “Great. Send her in.”
“Knock, knock.” Sophie appeared in his doorway, grinning, wearing a light gray wool coat that was cinched in at the waist and flared out to her knees. Her beautiful red hair peeked out from beneath a white hat with an enormous fluffy pom-pom on top. She was...well, there weren’t really words. Her face was one he wanted to look at forever. Sheer perfection. He was transfixed.
“Don’t you look wintery? And gorgeous?” He tugged her into his arms and kissed her softly. It felt like the best reward after a long day at work. He could get used to this—seeing her every day. Being with her.
“We’re going to be outside for hours. Despite my devotion to fashion, I have to stay warm.” She stepped back and turned in a circle. “Look. Pants. And boots. I’m practically ready to take a dogsled into the Arctic.”
“I see you couldn’t give up on the heels.”
She looked down at her feet, seeming nothing less than enormously pleased with her shoes. “Some compromises simply aren’t worth making.”
“Very chic. I love it.” I love you. The words nearly tumbled out of his mouth. He had to steel himself for a moment, holding on to her shoulder for support.
Sophie’s sights narrowed on him, brows furrowed. “Are you okay?”
Was he? With no earthly idea where those words had come from, he was inclined to think no. “Of course. Just admiring you. That’s all.” He leaned closer and kissed her cheek. “I’ll get my coat.”
As he threaded his arms into his black wool coat, he gathered himself, thankful he hadn’t slipped and uttered those three little words. Yes, he cared about Sophie, but their relationship was all about small steps. There would be no leaps. I love you was months off. Maybe a year. And who knew if he and Sophie would even last that long? Right now, he was trying to simply enjoy every moment when he wasn’t stricken with panic. He was savoring every instance when he didn’t have the urge to run for the door.
But he couldn’t deny that there had been a shift in his thinking over the past several days. First he’d missed her greatly, more than he’d ever missed anyone. Then there had been his immense relief that she was the sort of person simply willing to talk out a problem. She was willing to forgive him for having been less than pleasant. She was willing to forget those two days when he hadn’t called. He not only hadn’t experienced that in any relationship, he wasn’t sure he was capable of the same thing. When you learn to hold on to someone else’s mistakes, it’s a hard habit to break.
But he was ready to be better than all of that. There was a lot at stake between Sophie and him, and it wasn’t just a multibillion-dollar real-estate deal. The conversation in her office last night, the one that took place before clothes started to come off, had been extremely gratifying. She eagerly accepted his advice and insight, offering her own experience and taking his ideas to the next level. They’d fed off each other’s enthusiasm to create a vision. It was the first time he’d thought that Eden’s might actually succeed with Sophie at the helm. Yes, that threatened his potential big deal, but at this point, he had to be realistic. Sophie’s devotion to Eden’s wasn’t going anywhere. In the end, it would likely all come down to practicality, money and the question of whether or not she could find common ground with her sister. He might need to do what he never did and leave that one up to fate.
“Ready?” he asked.
She popped up onto her toes like a cork out of a bottle of champagne. “Yes. I’m so excited.”
“Let’s go.”
Hand in hand, they marched out of his office, past Audrey, who was packing up her things for the day. “Have fun,” she called. Knowing her, she’d pepper him with questions tomorrow morning. He had to prepare for that.
They took the elevator down to the lobby and walked out into the brisk night air. Across the street, rows of glass and metal vendor kiosks ran along the terraces of the park. Even he had to admit the tiny buildings were enticing. Lit up, they each looked like a jewel box. Once they crossed over into this Christmas wonderland, it was hard not to get caught up in Sophie’s sheer excitement.
“What do you want to do first?” Her cheeks were already bright pink, her eyes startlingly clear and bright. “We could get something to eat.
They have these amazing Belgian waffles with little sugar pearls inside them.”
“I thought you wanted to do some shopping.” He squeezed her hand a little tighter.
“I do. If that’s okay.”
“Tonight is all about you. Lead the way.”
And so she did, pulling him along until they arrived at a shop that mixed custom perfumes. “I got this for Mindy two years ago and she loved it. I want to do it again.” Inside, the saleswoman and Sophie discussed her sister’s personal preferences. Apparently she favored citrus over floral and sweet over woody notes. To Jake, it was all like a foreign language, but in the end, the pair concocted a fragrance that was surprisingly lovely. Jake was simply amazed at how much thought and care Sophie would put into a single gift. He had to wonder if Mindy knew how tuned in her sister was to what she wanted.
From there, they shopped for locally made hand-knit scarves, hammered silver earrings from Central America and women’s silky robes made in India and trimmed in wide, embroidered sari ribbons. Jake was happily loaded down with the shopping bags. Watching Sophie enjoy herself made it all worth it.
“One more stop,” Sophie said. “Then we can grab something hot to drink and watch the ice-skaters.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
She led him into a shop packed with people and stocked to the ceiling with every Christmas ornament you could imagine—jolly snowmen with stovepipe hats, glittery snowflakes, glass icicles and round-belly Santas hanging from metallic gold string. These were the trappings of Christmas that were most foreign to Jake. He knew they should make him feel happy and nostalgic, but he couldn’t attach any meaning to them other than that they were the things he had missed out on.
“I always buy a new ornament every year. Gram did the same. She always bought hers at Eden’s, but I think this place has a better selection.”
“Remember that come next Christmas. You should be shopping at your own store and using what I’m guessing is a substantial employee discount.” Next Christmas. Would Eden’s still be there? Would he and Sophie last that long?
Sophie smiled and patted him on the chest, smoothing her hand up over his shoulder. Any worries about the future were quashed by the ripples of warmth she sent through him.
“You’re so right,” she said. “We need to step up our game for next year. We put so much effort into the stuff we don’t sell, like the window displays and the decorations in each department.”
“Well, that’s an important part of it, too. People come to the store for the experience more than anything. You make them happy. That’s what keeps them coming back.”
She cocked her head and jutted out her lower lip. “That’s so sweet. You’re going to make me cry.”
“Don’t do that. You’ve been looking forward to this. You’re having fun. Plus, I’m holding fifty pounds of Christmas gifts and could use a break. Let’s get your ornament and get out of here.”
Sophie made her selection—a happy snowman wearing a red stocking cap and sitting in a teacup. “What do you think?”
It was just as sweet and funny and unexpected as Sophie. “I think it’s perfect.”
Taking her place in line, she pointed to a gold star atop one of several Christmas trees displayed in the shop. “See that? That’s what Gram’s star looks like.” Like many things at Eden House, the star was funky and unusual—1960s era possibly, with gold tinsel and glitter. “I still haven’t heard back from Barry about finding the one up at the house.” The corners of her mouth drew down, a sight he disliked so much.
“I’m sure it’ll turn up. Who loses a Christmas star?”
And just like that, the frown was gone. “You’re right. I shouldn’t worry so much.”
She paid for the ornament and they strolled to a coffee stand, where Jake ordered a latte and Sophie chose a hot cocoa with extra whipped cream. From there they wound their way to the ice rink at the opposite corner of the park. An older couple got up from a bench at the perfect time, and Jake was quick to snag it for them, setting down the bags and enjoying the chance to sit. He put his arm around her and watched the masses circling the rink. Holiday music filled the air, as did the sound of chatter, laughter and the occasional shriek when someone slipped and fell on the ice. Maybe it was just being with Sophie, but Jake was surprised to find that he was actually enjoying himself.
“This was nice. Thank you for bringing me.”
Sophie removed the lid from her cocoa and swiped at the whipped cream with her tongue. Jake had to stare. It was too damn sexy. “Careful, Jake. Someone might notice you actually enjoying something related to Christmas.”
“Hey. I’m not eager to return. This is exhausting. I don’t know how you do it.”
“I’m running on pure adrenaline these days. Trust me, I’ll fall into a coma on December 26.”
Jake laughed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I call that day Christmas Leave.”
Sophie reared back her head. “Seriously?”
“Well, yeah. It’s a joke. Like Christmas Eve, but it’s the day after. Get it?”
“I get it. But I don’t. It just seems so...”
“So what? Negative?”
“Yes. Exactly. And you aren’t entirely like that. I’ve been watching you, Jake Wheeler, and you are not only capable of having a lot of fun, you also enjoy smiling and laughing and a million other pleasant things. So I still don’t get what exactly it is about this holiday that makes you cringe.”
Jake returned his sights to the ice rink for a moment, watching a young boy learning to skate with his mother’s patient guidance. The little guy held his arms wide to brace his fall, but something about his stance said that he knew she would be there to catch him or, at the very least, pick him back up. The center of Jake’s chest ached. There was a time when he would have done anything for five minutes of what that little boy had.
“You want to know the real reason I don’t like Christmas?”
Sophie took his hand in hers, squeezing it tight. “Yes. I do.”
* * *
Even with hundreds of people milling about, there was a stillness to the air around Sophie and Jake. She squeezed his hand a little tighter, studying his handsome profile. Even when he wasn’t making eye contact, she sensed his vulnerability. Something deep and painful radiated from him. A part of her was scared to hear it, worried that it might change her vision of him as the strong and unflappable Jake. But a much bigger part of her simply wanted to understand the mystery. She wanted to see inside that head of his. She wanted to know the good, but she needed to hear the bad. “It’s okay. You can tell me.”
“I’m not the only one, you know. For a lot of people, Christmas is incredibly depressing.”
“I know. I know it’s hard on some people. But I want to know why it’s hard on you.”
“Where do I start? The commercialism. The running around for no good reason. The music is everywhere. Nobody gets anything done those last two weeks of the year. It’s nothing more than a big disruption.” He shook his head and looked down at his lap.
“That’s an argument against celebrating. That doesn’t tell me what happened in your life that made you feel like this. Surely you loved Christmas when you were a kid. All kids love Christmas. You weren’t born hating it. I know that much.”
“Not all kids love Christmas.”
The way he’d said it made Sophie’s breath seize up in her chest. She’d known that getting Jake to open up would not be easy, but damn, he wasn’t giving her much to work with. She had to keep pushing so she could understand what made him closed off sometimes. “Is that how you felt? As a kid?”
“I don’t want you to think less of me. I don’t want this to be what defines me.” He turned and scanned her face, searching for something she desperately wanted to give him. If only he’d tell her.
She pulled him a little closer and k
issed his cheek. “I will never think less of you. And the only thing that has to define you is your actions. You’re more than your past. You’re more than the bad things that have happened to you.” Her brain whirred faster as she searched for the words that would get him to talk. “I’m sensing that you’ve never talked about this. And maybe that’s why you’re struggling. You’ve been carrying it around all this time. I think it might be good if you just let it go.”
He swallowed so hard his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “I don’t know what I did to deserve having you come back into my life.”
“Maybe I’m here because you need someone to listen.”
He cracked just a fraction of a smile, but she would take what she could get. “Maybe.” He looked skyward at the midnight blue void hanging over the city. “Gram was everything to you, but my grandmother was a nightmare. And it was just the two of us from the age of seven. She was mean, she didn’t want me around and she definitely did not believe in celebrating Christmas.”
“How did you end up living with her?”
He refocused his sights on Sophie. “I never knew my dad. My mom got pregnant in high school, which infuriated my grandmother. I was just another mouth to feed. My grandmother worked during the day cleaning at a hotel. My mom didn’t have anyone to take care of me, so she couldn’t really get a job, but that just made my grandmother lash out at her. She’d tell her she was lazy. It was an impossible situation.” Now that he was talking, he seemed calmer, but the words were coming faster, like he was rushing to get them out.
“Once I went to school, and got a little older and was able to take care of myself, my mom decided that was her chance to make a different life for us. She told me she was going to find a job and get us a place to live on her own, and that she’d come back for me. But she never came back. She left me with my grandmother. Forever.”
Sophie was so still she had to hold her breath. “I had no idea all of that had happened to you.”
“I don’t tell anyone about it. I’m very good at hiding it.”
