by Kelly, A. S.
“How come she has a different surname?”
Why can’t I keep my mouth shut?
His face grows pale. “W-what?”
“Skylar Spencer,” I say, without needing to look at the file.
“It’s her mother’s name.”
“Are you sure you’re the father?” My voice escapes me, harshly.
“Jordan, please. Listen…”
“Why should I? It’s none of my business!”
“Are you angry?”
“No, of course not!”
“Because you seem to be getting wound up.”
I jump to my feet. “I just have a problem with liars.”
He gets up, too.
“I never lied to you – and if you weren’t so intent on getting rid of me, maybe I’d have had the chance to tell you more about me, to explain why I came back.”
“Excuse me,” Anya’s voice floats in from the doorway before we can continue. “I was wondering if you’d like me to take Skylar on a tour of the school. What do you think?”
Skylar jumps out of her seat.
“Please, get me out of here.”
Anya accompanies Niall’s daughter out of my office. Once they’ve disappeared down the corridor, he goes over to the door and closes it.
“What is wrong with you?” he cries immediately.
“Me? Nothing!”
“Then why are you yelling?”
“You’re yelling, too!”
“Only because you’re yelling!”
I sink back down into the armchair and lean my elbows on the desk, massaging my temples slowly.
“I wish you’d told me before.”
“Before what? Before you slept with me?”
I glare at him. “It’s unprofessional. I could get into serious trouble for this.”
“I promise, I had no idea.”
“Of what? Of the fact that I’m the head teacher of the school you want your daughter to go to?”
“Your surname,” he says suddenly. “Your…oh, my God.” His face, which was a violent shade of red from our previous argument, whitens instantly. “You married Steven Hill.”
The sound of his name causes the bile to rise up my throat once again, threatening to upheave the contents of my stomach.
“We’re not together anymore,” I say defensively.
“Since when?”
“Why does it matter?”
His eyes trail down to my hand. “I can still see the mark where your wedding ring used to be.” He gestures towards it.
I instinctively move to touch my finger.
“Since when?”
“I don’t believe it has anything to do with you.”
“You slept with me.”
“It was just one night, Kerry. And it’s caused me a whole lot of problems.”
He sits down again, running a hand through his hair.
“This is Skylar’s last chance,” he says, his face drawn, tired. There’s no trace of his charming, devilish smile.
“I know.”
“Please, don’t punish her for my mistakes.”
He just called me a mistake.
It’s not the first time someone has called me that, but right now, I can’t be angry with him – not when his eyes are begging me to give his daughter a chance.
“We both made a mistake,” I say, icily. “And we’ll both find a solution.”
Niall
I try to cast aside my irrational disappointment and anger at the fact that Jordan really married that useless prick, Steven Hill. I concentrate on the only thing that should matter to me right now: my daughter’s future.
“She’s been kicked out of three different schools,” I say, opening up to her. “She didn’t pass her end-of-year exams.”
Jordan listens to me, her face a picture of genuine sorrow at our situation.
“I applied to almost every school in County Dublin. No one would take her. Then my parents told me that there might be a place at my old school.” I look at her again, a strange nausea churning in my stomach. “They said she might have a chance.”
She doesn’t bat an eyelid. She keeps staring at me, her gaze unwavering.
“She’s not in the best position, Kerry.”
I sigh, frustrated. “Do you think I don’t know that? I’ve pretty much given in to the idea of home-schooling her already.”
“I didn’t even know you had a kid.”
I can’t work out her tone – she almost seems disappointed.
“Don’t you read the papers?”
She glares condescendingly at me.
“I only ask because everyone around here seems obsessed with gossip.”
“I didn’t know anything about your…private life. I knew about the sport side of things, but only because your face is blown up in the window of the local Intersport.”
Damn sponsors.
“And I never thought I’d see you again after Friday night. I thought you were only in town for a few days.”
“Otherwise you’d never have slept with me.”
She doesn’t agree – but she doesn’t deny it, either.
“Can we just talk about Skylar please? Let’s drop everything else for now.”
“Sounds good.”
I just need to stop thinking of her arse writhing around on top of my…
“So,” she says, interrupting my self-destructive fantasies. “I’m your only hope.”
“Yes. I left everything behind for this. I left my job, my house, my whole life.”
“Are you trying to guilt-trip me?”
“No,” I protest, lifting my hands innocently. If I piss her off, that’s it. “I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to explain the whole situation.”
Jordan leans back into the armchair, rubbing her forehead with one hand.
“I have to be honest, Kerry. I wasn’t sure about taking the risk and accepting her – even though Skylar’s story breaks my heart.”
I nod sadly.
“Not to mention the fact that you… Well, with everything that happened, it wouldn’t have been the best idea.”
“I understand.”
“If people knew I’d accepted your daughter after we…”
“No one will ever find out, I promise.”
She stares at me, unconvinced.
“You can trust me. I’m not the kind of guy who goes around shouting about stuff like this.”
“That wasn’t always the case.” She crosses her arms and studies my expression.
“I was just a stupid kid.”
“And, thanks to you, Mary Hannigan had to move out of town.”
“That wasn’t my fault.”
“You told everyone that you slept together in the changing rooms after school. Her father was the church vicar.”
I keep my mouth closed; I’m scared that I’ll only make things worse. Nothing I say could ever convince Jordan that I’m not the man she thinks I am. Unfortunately, my reputation precedes me, and she seems to believe everything she’s heard. She thinks I’m a piece of shit who doesn’t even deserve a glance from her.
Which is why I never invited her to the school dance.
Which is why she started seeing Steven Hill.
Which is why she married him.
“I can’t trust you.”
“Please, I’ll do anything.” I reach my hands out across the desk. “Don’t do it for me. Do it for her.”
“That’s not fair.”
“You’re my last chance, Jordan. I don’t know where else to turn to.”
“We’re back!” A voice rings out from behind me, making me turn suddenly. “I showed her the classrooms, the bathrooms, the cafeteria, the library…”
Jordan gets to her feet. “Thank you, Anya.”
“You’re welcome,” she says, smiling. Her gaze falls onto me, briefly. “I’ll just get back to my desk, outside,” she says, as if she were a guard dog. “Where I can hear everything.”
“Go ahead. We’re done her
e.”
I get to my feet, too. “Already?”
“The bell will ring in a few minutes.” She looks at her watch. “I’ll have a look over the case and get back to you in a few days.”
“Of course, I understand,” I say, watching my last chance slip through my fingers. “Thank you for taking the time to see us.”
“Thank you for considering our school.”
“So…” I say, walking over to my daughter, who has stayed standing in the doorway with Anya. “Let’s get going, then.”
“Have a nice day,” Jordan says, coolly getting rid of us.
“You, too,” I say, resting my hand on my daughter’s shoulder to steer her outside. “Don’t worry,” I say to Anya, who was waiting to accompany us. “I know the way out.”
We walk the long corridor that leads to the main entrance, and step outside, where a flock of students, clad in purple uniform, are waiting for the school bell to mark the start of another week. We head towards the car park wordlessly, and I unlock it. We both climb inside.
I turn on the ignition and reverse out of the visitor’s space, when my daughter finally decides to speak.
“What happened?”
“What’s that?”
“With the headmistress.”
“Me?” I glance at her from the corner of my eye, and she nods. “Trust me, it’s not my fault.”
“That’s not what it looked like.”
“It’s not appropriate for a girl your age.”
“You slept with her, didn’t you?”
“Do you really think I want to talk about it?”
“If you’ve thrown away the only chance for me to go to school…”
“Now you care? You didn’t seem to give a damn when you set fire to the science lab.”
“Chemistry. You wouldn’t get it,” she says, turning her face towards the window.
“Maybe you’re right, but that’s not my fault, either. You’re the one who won’t talk to me, who never tells me what happened; who won’t let me help you.”
“Would you?” She turns back to face me as I stop at a set of traffic lights. “Would you really help me, or would you turn your back this time, too?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve never been there for me.”
“Skylar…”
“She was on her own. Those last few months…” Her bottom lip begins to tremble, but she’s steadfast. “She had no one.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head, returning her gaze out the window and shutting me out, once again.
I press down on the accelerator with a heavy heart, and head out of the city and towards my parents’ house.
“I don’t want to be home-schooled,” she hisses, through gritted teeth.
“Is that an indirect way of telling me that you want me to help you get into that school?”
“Take it however you want.”
I scoff and turn down the track.
“If I help you get into that school, will you promise me that there’ll be no more trouble? You won’t set fire to anything, you won’t steal or break anything, you won’t get yourself into any more compromising situations?”
“That’s a long list, Kerry.”
“You think?” I park outside my parents’ house and switch off the engine. “You have no idea what strings I’ll have to pull to get you in.”
She turns to face me again. “You’ve really messed up, haven’t you?”
I lift my eyes and open the driver door. Skylar mirrors me and catches up with me at the front door.
“Really? You had to sleep with the head teacher of the school?” she says, just as the door opens in front of us.
“What did you do?” my mother yells in outrage.
“Let’s not make a big deal of it, okay? It was an accident.”
I storm inside, followed by my daughter: who, for what it’s worth, appears to be enjoying my distress.
“You’ve only been here for three days,” my mother points out.
“And you can’t call it an accident…” my daughter adds.
“Everything’s under control,” I reassure her.
I promised Jordan that no one would ever know what happened between us, and the headcount is already at two – excluding everything I told Tyler. Now we’re at three. And I’m sure Anya is up-to-date with everything: so that’s four. Four people, in a town where gossip appears to be the only attraction. If this carries on, I’ll have to move to another county again in two days’ time – if not another country.
I promised Jordan this would stay between us, and I’ve already broken my word; but I also promised Skylar that I’d sort everything out. And I have to keep that promise at all costs, or I’ll lose my daughter forever.
Jordan
At lunchtime, Anya and I lock ourselves in my office. She’s perched on my desk, a bowl of chicken salad in her hand, while I’m slumped in my armchair, my Tupperware container of rice completely untouched. My head won’t stop pounding with unwelcome thoughts, which won’t give me a moment of peace.
“How could I not have known that he had a daughter? Here I am, thinking I know everything about him,” Anya keeps repeating.
“It looks like he kept her well-hidden.”
“What about her mother?”
I look at her and shake my head.
“Poor girl.”
I sigh painfully.
“You can’t not help her.”
“I know, but you have to realise how weird it would be – not to mention how dangerous. If anyone ever found out…”
“You could always sign an agreement – like a sort of contract?”
I look at her, unconvinced.
“Something that legally prevents him from saying anything.”
“Do you think that would work?”
She shrugs.
It would never be enough for me. It could never erase the memory of his scent all over my body.
“At least it’s not a different problem.”
Apparently she can hear my deafeningly loud thoughts, too.
“Anyway, it would be inappropriate.” I shift my weight in the armchair. “I’ve seen him naked, Anya! Don’t you get it?”
“I can imagine that image isn’t something you’d forget easily.”
I don’t respond; my mind is busy conjuring up the memory of his chiselled body moving on top of mine.
“If you think you can’t do it, then there’s only one way out.”
“I can’t just turn my back on that girl.”
“Well, from what it seems, that girl has a pretty bad track record behind her.”
“Must take after her father,” I say, smiling slightly.
“The apple never falls far from the tree,” Anya comments.
“I’ll think of something.”
“I know you’ll find a way to help them.”
I stab at my rice and take a tiny helping. I stare at my fork, thoughtfully, then lift my gaze as I bring it up to my mouth; my eyes fall onto one of the posters pinned to my notice board. I chew slowly, my eyes glued to that image, a dangerous idea beginning to form in my mind.
“What?” Anya asks, realising that I’m staring at something behind her.
She turns towards my notice board and follows my gaze, before turning back to me a few seconds later.
“He’ll never agree to that.”
“He will if I offer him something in exchange that he can’t say no to.”
“And you’re not talking about your body?”
I glare at her.
“I was just checking…” She raises her hands and goes back to her lunch. “You never used to be like this.”
“Like what?”
“A bitch?”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“It is a compliment. You used to be so serious, so closed-off.”
“I still am.”
She shakes her head no. “Something’s changed.”
Life. Disappointment. Betrayal. A broken heart.
“And I’m happy about it, in a way. I like seeing you let yourself go a little more, give in to one crazy night, come up with these plans to gain respect for yourself.”
“I haven’t come up with anything yet – and I still don’t know if it’ll work.”
“You’ll make it work, I know you will. And I’ll be here to help you with whatever you need.” She jumps down from my desk, taking her empty bowl with her. “Break’s over, time to get back to work.”
“Thanks.”
She winks at me and leaves my office, as I pull myself up from the armchair and close over my almost untouched container. My stomach is doing somersaults, and my nerves are frazzled. This whole situation is way out of my comfort zone, out of my control – and I don’t know how to handle it. This is what happens when you let yourself go for a night; what happens when you let your guard down, just for a moment, and bring a man home.
This is what happens when you try to be someone you’re not.
I walk over to the window of my office, which looks out over the outside lunch area; a few students are rushing around, grabbing their things, before they have to go back inside. I think about that girl: so angry, so alone. She needs help. Then my thoughts drift to her father, to his words; to his desperate, pleading eyes.
I sigh, exhausted, and turn to take another look at the poster pinned to my notice board. I can’t just forget about them, abandon them when they need me most. I can’t abandon her. That’s the last thing she needs. I have the girl’s best interests at heart – definitely not Niall Kerry’s interests. I have to do something. I have to push aside my feelings for him and everything that happened between us, and move forward. I need to find a way to help them, to make sure that everyone has the best possible outcome from this.
That’s my job, and it’s what I’m going to do.
“Is anyone here?” I poke my head inside and watch as she appears from behind a display of colourful scarves.
“Come in, honey. I’m just sorting through the latest delivery.”
I step into the shop and approach her. She takes one of the scarves and drapes it around my neck.
“I’ve always said how well this colour suits you.”
“Red? I don’t think so.” I take off the scarf and place it on the display with the others.
