by Kelly, A. S.
“I still don’t get it.”
“We need a coach for our team.”
“You’re taking the piss.”
“Until now, our PE teacher was taking care of it, but we need an expert.”
“Why me?”
“Because we have to win. There’s a five-thousand-euro prize for the winning school.”
I shake my head in disbelief.
“We need it. We have to refurbish the gym, and we need a new classroom…”
“And you’re bribing me.”
“W-what?”
“You’re using my daughter to get what you want.”
“What I want? I’m doing this for my school.”
I leap to my feet. “Forget it.”
She gets up, too. “Didn’t you just say you’d do anything?”
“Not this.”
“Why not?”
“Maybe you have no idea who I am, Jordan. I can’t end up coaching a team in some little school in the arse end of nowhere.”
“I’ll remind you that you grew up here. This school helped you become the man you are today.”
“I don’t owe anyone anything. It’s all me, my hard work. My talent.”
“And your unreasonably huge ego.”
“I should’ve known.” I pace anxiously around her office.
“What?”
“That the other night was all just an act.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re still the same boring know-it-all that you were twenty years ago. You think you’re better than everyone else. Better than me.”
“And you’re still the same bastard who has to sleep with his lab partner just to pass the end-of-year test.”
“What the fuck would you know about that?”
“I took a wild guess. It wasn’t hard.”
“You know what? You can keep your shitty job, and you can keep your place in this crappy school!” My voice grows loud as I head towards the door. “I should never have expected more from you. I thought that…”
“What?” She starts to raise her voice, too.
“I thought that you really cared about us – about my daughter. But you’re just like the others. You wanted something from me. I thought you were different, Jordan; but apparently, I was very fucking wrong.”
Niall
“Want to tell me why you’re so agitated?”
“Didn’t you hear me?!”
“I heard you perfectly. But I don’t understand why you’re so wound up about this.”
“She tried to blackmail me!”
“She made you a proposition.”
“Whose side are you on, here?”
“The reasonable side.”
“I thought you were my friend.”
“I am; that’s why I’m trying to tell you to calm down.”
I sit on the pool table, leaning my forehead against the cue.
Tyler sighs before dropping himself down next to me.
“Can I ask you something?”
I look at him.
“Why has this got to you so much?”
“Do I really need to explain it to you?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s using my daughter to get what she wants.”
“Funds for the school she’s been building up for years?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Anyway, at most she’s using you.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“Look at the bright side: Skylar will get into the school, and she’ll be around people her own age. Maybe she’ll even be able to graduate. And you’d have a job.”
“Do you really think I want to work as a coach for a group of rowdy teenagers?”
“I’ll remind you that you were once one of those teenagers, back in the day.”
“I was good.”
“You don’t know anything about these kids. They might surprise you.”
“If they were good, do you really think she’d have asked me to help them?”
“See? You’re starting to agree.”
“What the hell are you on about?”
“She needs you as much as you need her.” He jumps down from the pool table and faces me. “It’s not a bribe; it’s lucky.”
“Lucky? I’m jobless, my daughter has been kicked out of countless schools, I’ve moved back in with my parents, and the first woman I’ve slept with after nine months thinks I’m a stupid dickhead.”
“Nine months?”
“That’s what you’re focusing on?”
“It’s worrying, considering we’re talking about the guy sitting in front of me.”
“I’ll say it one more time: stop reading all that shit about me!”
“Seriously? Nine months?”
“You know what happened: I’d just become a father.”
“Your daughter is fifteen, Niall. You became a father a long time ago.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Unfortunately, yeah.”
“I was bogged down by thoughts, problems. And…”
“And, what?”
“Just knowing that she went like that.”
It’s the first time I’ve ever voiced that thought. I wasn’t in love with her – I never had been – but the way she just disappeared hit me hard. It’s not easy seeing a young, beautiful woman, so full of life, fade into a shadow of herself. She suffered, then shrunk away altogether in the space of just a few months, right in front of her own daughter; and she couldn’t do anything to avoid it.
Tyler places his hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for them. I’m sorry for being the guy I always have been.”
“What guy is that?”
“A stupid, selfish bastard.”
Tyler smiles, and I mirror him, in spite of myself.
“What’s really up?”
“By this point, I have no idea. I came here to get away from everything, to find some clarity. But I’m even more confused than before.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help you.”
“What have you got to do with it?”
“I’m your only friend.”
“True. And you set me up.”
“I told you: I never put two and two together.”
“How?”
“You never told me which school your daughter was applying to.”
“True, but…”
“It could’ve been in another town; you never mentioned the Abbey.”
I scoff. He’s right. Besides, getting pissed off at him won’t help me – although I can’t shrug off the feeling that he’s enjoying all this, at my expense.
“I think you should make other friends. You know, maybe reach out to some of the others, now that you’re here.”
“I don’t think that’s the best idea.”
“It’s a small town, but it’s a community. Everyone wants to help – they might surprise you. And if you start to become part of the community, they might help Skylar, too.”
I have to admit, I hadn’t thought of that.
“Just like a place at that school would help her.”
“You think I should accept it, don’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think, Niall. What matters is that it’s the right thing to do.”
“Come on – a team full of kids?”
He shrugs.
“I’m a famous sportsman.”
“You were a famous sportsman.”
“Stop rubbing salt into the wound.”
“Listen, I didn’t want to mention this, but seeing as we’re talking about it…”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re thirty-eight.”
Almost thirty-nine – but I don’t need to mention that.
“How much longer could you have played for?”
“I’m still in good shape.”
He stares pointedly at me.
“I mean, I’m no
t training at the moment, but I could easily get back to it.”
“You’re old.”
I shake my head violently.
“You should’ve quit…when? Last year?”
“You don’t know that.”
“Then what would you have done?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.”
“You’re not a teenager anymore: but you have one to take care of.”
“Are you trying to find a nice way to call me self-centred?”
“You said it, not me.”
“I could’ve given her a better future in Dublin.”
“I don’t think your daughter really needs the kind of future you were planning on giving her, there. She needs a father, a family; she needs stability.”
“You’re trying to convince me to take the job.”
“I just want you to think about it. It’s your decision.”
“I can’t go back and see her again; not after everything I said last time.”
“I don’t want to know.” He raises his hands and steps away, towards the fridge, and pulls out two energy drinks. He throws one in my direction before opening his own and taking a few sips.
“I was an arse.”
“I’m sure you’ll make it right. You can use your famous ‘moves’ and seduce her. I mean, it worked the other day, didn’t it?”
“She did almost everything.”
“Jesus, you really are out of practice, mate.”
I glare at him.
“You’ll find something, I know it. In the meantime, you could always come running with me.”
I look down at myself, then back to him. “What’s wrong with my body?”
“Nothing. I just thought it might be good for you.”
“Mmm… What time do you go running?”
“Six.”
“I might consider coming with you.”
“See? You’re starting to be reasonable already.”
“I’m only doing it because my mother’s cooking has morphed me into a huge pig.”
“It doesn’t matter why you’re doing it, but who you’re doing it for.”
“We’re not talking about my body, are we?”
Tyler smiles mischievously.
“Maybe that’s a good mantra.”
“It could just be the perfect mantra for you.”
Jordan
When I open the door and find him standing in front of me, I almost choke on the spring roll I was chewing.
“For you.” He shoves a bunch of bright-red tulips under my nose.
I quickly swallow the rest of the spring roll and wipe my greasy mouth on the back of my hand.
“The fact that you know where I live doesn’t mean you can just turn up whenever you want.”
He takes a deep breath and stares at me, his eyes swimming with guilt.
“I came here to apologise.”
I cross my arms and nervously shift my weight from one foot to another. I don’t like it that he’s here, invading my privacy like this.
I should never have brought him home.
“I behaved exactly the way you said because I’m exactly the type of person you described.”
I stand there, listening, although I should’ve slammed the door in his face; but I’m scared I’d ruin its rugged handsomeness, and that would be a real shame.
“You can’t stay here.”
“No one saw me come in, I swear.”
“It’s not just that.”
“I know I shouldn’t have just turned up on your doorstep, but I didn’t want to see you at school. I wanted to apologise to you before it was too late.”
“Before I rejected your daughter’s application?”
“Before I became unforgivable to you.”
“Maybe you already are.”
“I really hope not. We got off on the wrong foot, but there’s still time to change that.”
“Why?”
“I wish I could give you another reason, but the only thing that really matters is my daughter.”
I sigh defeatedly and step aside to let him in.
He hands me the flowers; I accept them.
“I’m only letting you in because I don’t want anyone to see you.”
“Of course.”
“I’m giving you five minutes, and then you have to promise me that you’ll never turn up at my house again.”
“I promise.”
I gesture towards the living room, telling him to make himself comfortable, then grab the remote from the coffee table and switch off the TV. The remains of my Chinese takeaway are sitting on the counter.
“Sorry about the mess,” I say, embarrassed.
No one apart from Anya ever knocks at my door, and she’s used to my lonely dinners, my unwashed hair, caked in dry shampoo, and my baggy tracksuits, which I use to cater to my disproportionately large appetite.
“No, I’m sorry for dropping by with no warning. I’m sure you were busy.”
Is he making fun of me?
I sit on the sofa, and he follows my lead.
“I don’t really know where to start, so I’ll just tell you what I’ve realised.”
No good can come of this; but I find myself nodding, encouraging him to continue.
“I’ve realised that I have to do anything I can for Skylar, to give her a future, and to save my relationship with her.”
“That sounds like a good idea.”
“At this point in my life, she’s the only thing that matters.”
I smile at him.
“And I need your help.”
“I thought you might.”
“And I’m sorry I ever said those things about you.”
“Does that mean you didn’t really mean them?”
“Of course not. I think a hundred other things about you, but I definitely don’t think that.”
“Okay.”
“But you can’t say the same for me, can you?”
“Niall…”
“It’s okay, I understand. It’s what everyone in town thinks.”
I shrug, because I can’t lie to him; but I don’t want to hurt him, either.
“But I’m ready to make things right.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. You don’t have anything to prove – it’s none of my business.”
He nods slowly, his lips turned up in a sad smile.
“And I don’t know what you’re expecting from me. I accept your apology, but…”
“I need that job,” he says, interrupting me.
“Oh.”
“If the offer still stands.”
“Are you doing it for her?”
“I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to do.”
“Didn’t you think I was blackmailing you?”
He shakes his head. “I think it’s an opportunity.”
“Do you really think that?” I ask, doubtful.
“Absolutely.”
“Well, the offer still stands. If you want the position, and your daughter is happy to come to school, then…”
His arms are suddenly wrapped around me, his face buried into my neck.
“Thank you, Jordan. Thank you.”
I sit there, paralysed, my arms rigid at my sides. I feel his breath tickling my skin.
“You taste so good, so sweet…” he whispers, his tongue tracing my skin. “Who knows how sweet the rest of you tastes…”
I let myself go, slowly; his hands are on my arms, his eyes clear and bright.
“We should…er…” I clear my throat as he pulls away, his breath no longer on my skin. “We need to lay down some ground rules.”
“Sure, whenever you want.”
“Come and see me in my office tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there.”
“We need to sign an agreement, too.”
He looks at me, curiously.
“A non-disclosure agreement.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but I’ve surprised him so much that h
e’s speechless.
“I have to protect my job.”
“I understand.”
“I hope you’re not offended.”
He’s silent for a moment, then his voice grows serious. “I wasn’t the one who started that rumour. I never slept with her in the changing rooms.”
“It was a long time ago,” I say, trying to brush it away. I don’t want to have this conversation now.
“I would never have done something like that. I liked to have fun, that’s true, but I never wanted to hurt anyone.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“But I want you to believe me.”
“Why?”
“What if I told you I don’t know?”
I’d say that I’m not here for I don’t know.
“I’d say that it’s time for you to go home, now.”
I get to my feet, and he does the same.
“Jordan…”
“You should go, Niall.”
He sighs, then nods, heading towards the front door. I follow him, stopping behind him. He turns to face me and flashes me a small smile. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember,” he says suddenly. “And I’m not talking about Friday night. I’m talking about right now.”
“W-what?”
“I had to say it. I wanted to say it the other day, in your kitchen, but you were in a hurry to get rid of me, and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I don’t—”
“Don’t say anything.”
He steps towards me, his hand sliding to the back of my neck.
“Just…” He bends down to my mouth and brushes against it, lightly. “This.” He presses his lips against mine as I stand there, frozen. He doesn’t go any further; he steps back slowly and pierces my eyes with his.
“That’s for the other morning.”
His hand slides away from my neck, bringing a lock of my hair with it. He watches as it slips through his fingers, then tumbles gently over my shoulder.
“I didn’t like the fact that I left without saying goodbye. I never leave without saying goodbye.”
“I-I don’t think that’s the best way to make this work,” I manage to say, somehow without collapsing.
“You’re right – but this doesn’t count, just like the other night doesn’t count.”
A strange sense of disappointment suddenly washes over me – and an entirely different sensation, too.
“Let’s start from scratch. From tomorrow.” He opens the door. “Goodnight, Jordan.”
