Whisper Down the Lane
Page 26
* * *
—
That’s when everything changed. Now I had a daily reminder of you in my life. The more I watched Sandy grow, the more I saw you in her.
I love Sandy with all my heart, but I’ve had to restrain myself from taking my anger for you out on her. I’ve always known how fucked up this all was, but it was too late. I’d made a choice to keep her and I never regretted it for a second. But I had to find a way to free us of you.
I read everything I could find on public record about you. Every last court document, every transcript. Your words were out there for anyone who was willing to look. But now it was my turn to tell your story. This time, I would tell it the way it was meant to be told.
I told Sandy we were working on a secret art project. She never questioned our collaboration. It was fun. Something to bond over. I couldn’t have done this without her. To be my eyes and ears at school. To leave behind little reminders of your old life for you to find. To befriend your son. In your own way, you brought Sandy and me closer together. Thank you.
She still doesn’t know. The one thing I haven’t been able to bring myself to do is tell her who you are. I never wanted to lie to her, but I had to protect her from the truth. Protect her from you.
I wondered if you’d recognize me, almost seven years later. Would a new hairstyle and different clothes be all that it takes to hide from you? Would you really not remember me? Then I realized you never saw me in the first place. Never truly looked.
Open your eyes, Sean. It’s time to see. Look at me. Look at what you’ve done.
By the time you find this letter in Eli’s backpack, you’ll be back where it all started. In Greenfield. I always found it surprising that they never did anything with the property after the school burned down. You’d think they would’ve built condos or a shopping mall or something.
The police will find you and Eli in quite the compromising position, and then you’ll have to explain everything to them. Meanwhile, Sandy and I will be on the road, heading far away from here. From you. Finally free.
I’m breaking the circle, Sean. You’ll never find us now.
You’re such a good storyteller. I’m assuming you’ll come up with something spectacular to crawl out from under your heap of lies. You can even use this letter as proof of your innocence, which is why I’m giving it to you. I’ve even included a copy of Sandy’s birth certificate, just in case. Your own get-out-of-jail-free card.
But first, you’ll have to admit to the world who you really are. Can you finally do that? What’s better? Living with your own lies, or living with the world knowing your truth?
I want to set you free, Sean. I’m giving you a chance to come clean.
Afresh start.
Jenna
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The following books proved invaluable when researching this work of fiction:
We Believe the Children: A Moral Panic in the 1980s by Richard Beck (PublicAffairs, 2015).
Satanic Panic: The Creation of a Contemporary Legend by Jeffrey S. Victor (Open Court, 1993).
Remembering Satan: A Tragic Case of Recovered Memory by Lawrence Wright (Vintage, 1994).
Satanic Panic: Pop-Cultural Paranoia in the 1980s edited by Kier-La Janisse and Paul Corupe, Spectacular Optical, 2015.
Michelle Remembers by Michelle Smith and Lawrence Pazder, M.D. (Pocket Books, 1980).
Humblest apologies to William Peter Blatty, Dan Chaon, Roland Topor, and Ira Levin for their inspirational masterworks. Please forgive me my satanic panic fan fic.
To Chris Steib for being my first-responder read. To Andrew Shaffer for giving me that idea.
To my high priestess, Jhanteigh Kupihea, and the team at Quirk Books: Nicole De Jackmo, Christina Tatulli, Katherine McGuire, Rebecca Gyllenhaal, Jaime-Lee Nardone, Jane Morley, Kate Brown, Jen Murphy, Mandy Dunn Sampson, Megan DiPasquale, Kate McGuire, Molly Rose Murphy, Shaquona Crews, Brett Cohen, David Borgenicht, and everyone else (you too, Ivy)…thank you for your trust, your faith, to tell the stories that I want to tell and believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.
To Dillon Asher and Nick McCabe and everyone at the Gotham Group, thank you for always fighting to find a home for my stories. You too, Eddie Gamarra, wherever you roam.
To Judith Karfiol for being the pit bull of my heart, always standing up for me and protecting me.
To Indrani Sen for the most loving of all papercuts.
To my sons, who I pray never read this. Ever.
To Sue. To Joe. To Henry. To Donny.
To my family and my friends.
To you. Thank you for reading.
READING GROUP GUIDE
Whisper Down the Lane is based on a true-crime event known as the McMartin preschool trial, which kicked off the Satanic Panic era of the 1980s. If you’re familiar with the event, how did you see it reflected in this novel?
Storytelling and memory are two important themes in Whisper Down the Lane. What do you think the book is ultimately trying to convey about the act of storytelling and recounting history?
There are many parallels between Richard’s and Sean’s storylines. Which ones stood out to you, and why?
Chapman connects the anxiety parents felt during the Satanic Panic to the anxiety parents feel today. How did you respond to this comparison? Do you agree or disagree with it?
There are many Easter egg references to classic horror novels and movies sprinkled throughout the book. Which ones did you catch? What do you think Chapman is trying to convey with these references?
Richard’s storyline is told from the first-person point of view, and Sean’s is told from the third-person point of view. Why do you think Chapman made this choice? How did this impact your perception of each character?
Sean tells his initial lie because he thinks it’s what his mother wants to hear. What did you think about this explanation? Did your opinion change once it became clear Richard was narrating Sean’s story?
At times, Richard wonders if he was responsible for the incidents at the Danvers School. Why do you think he suspected himself? Did it make you reconsider Richard’s version of his own story?
The letter at the end of the novel gives an explanation for the events we’ve witnessed in Richard’s storyline. Do you sympathize with this explanation? Do you question it?
Discuss this novel in the context of other novels, movies, and TV shows about mass hysteria and large-scale conspiracies. How is Chapman’s depiction of this phenomenon similar or different to other pop culture depictions? Do you think it was successful in conveying how and why people get swept up in conspiracy theories?
DON’T PANIC!
Your Friendly Satanic Panic Reading and Viewing List, Annotated by Clay McLeod Chapman
NONFICTION
We Believe the Children: A Moral Panic in the 1980s
by Richard Beck (PublicAffairs, 2015)
The most humane exploration of paranoia I’ve ever read. Beck’s book is an absolute must.
Satanic Panic: The Creation of a Contemporary Legend
by Jeffrey S. Victor (Open Court, 1993)
An expansive, near exhaustive look at the ripple effect of paranoia throughout the United States.
Michelle Remembers
by Michelle Smith and Lawrence Pazder, M.D. (Pocket Books, 1980)
The controversial best seller that kick-started it all…Is it fact? Fiction? Only the devil knows.
FICTION
The Exorcist
by William Peter Blatty (Harper & Row, 1971)
The gold standard of good versus evil.
The Tenant (Le Locataire chimérique)
by Roland Topor (Buchet/Castel, 1964)
Not particularly satanic in its panic per se, but this novel’s l
ook at paranoia makes it a must-read.
Rosemary’s Baby
by Ira Levin (Random House, 1967)
The slow-burn suffocation of poor Rosemary wandering into the clutches of Satan can’t be beat.
FILM
Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills
directed by Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky (1996)
Vexing and heartbreaking, Berlinger and Sinofsky’s film sets the template for true crime docs to come.
Devil Worship: Exposing Satan’s Underground
hosted by Geraldo Rivera (1988)
Just when you think it can’t be true, that none of this Satanic Panic malarky really happened…
Rosemary’s Baby (1968) and The Tenant (1976)
directed by Roman Polanski
Read the novels first, then see how Polanski perverted the paranoia even further with his fish-eye lens. Throw in his 1965 film Repulsion for safe measure and make it the holy trinity of cinematic depravity.
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