“I wasn’t trying to set you up,” she said into my shirt so it was a little muffled but I could hear her. “I was going to give you some shit but I wasn’t going to really do what I told Spider, but then I got so angry and I flipped my shit. And I get what happened, I do, but I think your crazy and my crazy might be too much the same sometimes, and we’re going to have to be careful about that, like have a signal or something to stop whatever we’re fighting about before it escalates—”
“Like a trauma safe word?” I chuckled, but it was so much more out of relief than amusement.
“YESSSSS,” she nodded enthusiastically, giving herself a noogie on my chest. “That’s what we need. And rules. Strict rules about how to respond when someone uses it. Can we do that?”
“Yes, sunshine, yes we can. I think that’s brilliant.” I tipped my head down and kissed the top of hers, sniffing her hair. “Side note, make sure you bring this shampoo with you when we go, okay?”
“Okay,” she said. “I’m so hungry.”
“They should be here soon.”
“We’re here,” Spider said behind me. My head shot up and I turned, seeing him, Sev, and Luka standing awkwardly in her room. I widened my eyes at him and my brother shook his head.
“We came in at the safe word part, wondered if we’re intruding — should we come back?”
I laughed weakly. “No, it’s cool.”
“It’s a trauma safe word,” Azzie informed them, forcing me to turn so she could see them without moving out of my arms, which I was completely fine with. “So we can stop whatever fight is escalating out of our control, before someone says something so completely asinine, so utterly, ridiculously stupid—”
“Okay, you’ve made your point.”
“—so offensive and, let’s face it, sexist—”
“I’m pretty sure everyone knows where you’re going with this.”
“—that it could potentially ruin the relationship.”
Spider eyed me, eyebrows creeping up, and I nodded. “Umm, could I get in on that?” he asked tentatively.
“No, you insensitive douche! Only people with PTSD can have a trauma safe word!” She scowled at him, and given the last minute, I had no problem embarrassing the shit out of her.
“He also has PTSD,” I said to her as Spider glared back, and she blanched.
“OH! Sorry…”
“Perfect example of why a safe word is needed,” he grumbled, “you insensitive douche.”
“Fair,” she said, grimacing. “So all the same word, right? Should we choose now before one or more of us makes a particularly insensitive and douchey comment?”
“How about douche?”
“No, odds are I’ll legit call you that.”
“Fair.”
“Cheeseburger?”
“Where?”
“Well, over on your table, but also as a safe word?”
“Yessssss…” Azzie hissed as she pushed me off her and jogged across the room towards her breakfast of champions.
Chapter Nineteen
Sev
We all sat around the coffee table eating the food Spider had picked up at the diner while Luka and I hit the grocery store and bought Azzie a giant bag of chocolates and flowers. Lame, but we told the cashier that our friend had recently lost someone and needed cheering up, and she was all about the gesture, suggesting what flowers and brand of chocolate to get.
Azzie smiled at the flowers but left them in their paper, but she tucked the bag of individually wrapped chocolate pieces into the front pocket of her backpack and we each got a cheek kiss. This was before she mowed through the cheeseburger (deluxe), fries, coleslaw, and vanilla milkshake that Spider brought.
He got a cheek kiss and a hug. That really didn’t seem fair given that she told him what to bring and Luka and I picked ours out spontaneously and with hardly any prompting. She told us to shut up and quit whining. She hadn’t eaten yet at that point, so we thought it best to wait to resume until she had.
After she ate, Azzie asked if anyone could go check on Rachel while she packed up a few things, and then explained that her foster family would be joining us as far as the bunker, and were part of the way we’d get out there undetected. Luka and Spider had already finished eating so they went to see if Rachel needed help with anything while Tai and I stayed.
Azzie disappeared into the bathroom and came out with an armful of bottles that she set out on her desk. She was over by the bed, digging through the side pocket on her backpack, when Tai approached her and I guess she wasn’t paying attention or something because he set his hand on her shoulder and she flinched away from him, violently, causing him to jerk his hand back.
His face… man. He looked crushed.
“Shit! Tai, no!” she grabbed his hand, tugging it toward her with both hands. “I’m sorry, it was just unexpected.” He nodded, but it was obvious he was still bothered.
“Tai…” she crooned at him, pulling on his hand. “Tai-tai…”
He glared at her.
“Tee-oh-wah,” she said softly, and he stilled, gazing down into her wide eyes and soft lips, lips that parted as the tip of her pink tongue darted out to lick them.
I felt like a voyeur, but I didn’t feel like I was intruding. In fact, I moved a bit closer.
“Azzie,” his voice was extra raspy, her name painful with longing. Fucking kiss her! I shouted in my brain. His free hand crept up, fingers tangling in her hair while his palm rested on her cheek. “Tell me no.”
She shook her head.
“Tell me to stop,” he pleaded with her even as he leaned it closer. She shook her head again. “You can’t possibly—”
“Don’t tell me what I want. I’m not going to stop you. I’m not going to stop any of you.”
I sucked in a breath, my heart pounding. Her eyes flickered over toward me but didn’t linger, she focused on him.
“Azzie,” he breathed, but still hesitated.
“You have five seconds,” she warned him, “before I give my second first kiss to Sev.”
Well that did it. Fucker.
That kiss went on and on, his hand tilting her head into different angles as he needed it, his mouth all over hers, her cheeks, her neck… she moaned deep in her throat and I felt it in my dick. I couldn’t wait until it was my turn — she said it, I was in the running for second so that’s guaranteed to place. No take-backsies. I was kissing her next if it killed me.
Eventually he broke away, both of them gasping for breath, staring all starry-eyed at each other in a way that made me feel weirdly angry and kind of like I wanted to punch Tai, scoop up Azzie, and run off with her.
I pushed the bottles out of the way and sat down on her desk. “Hey, c’mere.” I gestured, summoning her toward me. Tai was giving me the stink-eye, but Azzie’s were sparkling even as she deliberately wiped her mouth and touched his shoulder before leaving his orbit and entering mine. I spread my knees apart when she got close, and reached forward to grab her by the hips and pull her towards me, caging her in between my legs.
“That was hot,” I said conversationally, rubbing my thumbs in circles on her hipbones, only the thin layer of her leggings between us. “That sound you made… it got my dick hard.”
She blushed, but her eyes were glowing and she didn’t even look away let alone pull away.
“I’m not going to kiss you, not right now,” I continued, and fuck to the yeah! because she looked disappointed. “I’m not going to compete with that!” I shook my head. “I’m no dummy.” Props to Tai for not making any smartass comments at that moment, keeping it mature and healthy. “I just want to make sure that you meant what you said — that you aren’t going to stop any of us. And also, you were good with me being your first. Or second.” I very purposely didn’t qualify first or second what and I hope both of them caught that.
She nodded. “I meant it.”
“Good, good,” I said, my eyes locked with hers. I wanted her to understand, to feel the
intensity, to know how very serious I was about everything. “I like that you didn’t mind that I was here. I like that you were comfortable with that. I like that you didn’t feel the need to hide anything.” She nodded again, she liked it all too. “And I liked watching you with him. It was really sexy.”
There goes that blush again.
“Did you like knowing I was watching?” She hesitated, then her head jerked in a tiny nod, almost against her will. “Do you like hearing that it made me hard watching you with him?” She couldn’t hold my gaze anymore, her eyes were darting around looking at anything besides mine as she flushed even more, her lips squeezing together, but there it was, the tiny little jerk of her head again.
I’m certain she didn’t notice my fingers sliding down over the curve of her ass, too distracted by my thumbs rubbing on her hips and my words, but she felt it now as I cupped her ass cheeks with both hands and squeezed lightly, she even jumped a little which set her off-balance and she threw up her hands to catch herself against my chest.
“Good,” I said, so only she could hear.
My eyes flashed to Tai over her shoulder and he looked like I felt earlier, like he wanted to punch me and run off with her, so using my hands on her ass, I pulled her flush against me and tilted my head so I was whispering directly into her ear.
“Can you feel how hard you make me?” I asked, knowing my cock was pressed right up against her thinly-clad pussy.
She whispered a tiny “Yes.”
“Someday soon, I want to be inside you. I will be inside you — my tongue, my fingers, my cock… I’m going to explore every inch of your body. And eventually, I want to be there to watch when the others are with you too. Would you like that?”
She was panting in my ear, harsh, uneven breaths like she was trying to disguise what I was doing to her body, breathe normally, but she couldn’t hold back. “Yes,” she moaned brokenly, and I squeezed her ass harder, letting the very tips of my fingers brush between her legs and against her pussy.
Her hips jerked but I held on, sliding my tongue against the shell of her ear, the metal stud in my piercing rubbing the entire length. She shuddered in my arms, openly gasping for air. “Good girl,” I whispered, and then slowly released her until she was standing upright, on her own. “Go back to Tai now,” I said, only a little louder, “and kiss him again because he watched me manhandle you and didn’t flip out about it even though I know he wanted to.”
Her gaze shot over to him and he was grimacing. As she moved away, I caught her hips again, forcing her to pause. “Remember what I said,” I warned her. “There might be a pop quiz later.”
Azzie
I kissed Tai.
I totally made out with Tai, like epic makeout session.
In front of Sev no less, who was all into it. Then Sev…did stuff too.
I made out with Sasha yesterday — a 21 year old biker — and cuddled up with his brothers and almost kissed both of them but the mood got dark. Now today I made out with a 24 year old soldier, and again there was stuff with Sev going on, and it was clear it was just a matter of time with the two of us too.
And they brought me flowers, and chocolate, and a cheeseburger meal with a milkshake.
All in all, not a bad fucking birthday, and it was only like 10 am.
A half hour later, I was still in a suspiciously good mood as I refilled the lotion bottle in my backpack from the main supply — a gallon jug — and then filled up a spare. And then another one. I went through a lot of the stuff since my skin was so ratchet, and I wasn’t sure of the possibility of finding things like coconut oil and lime essential oil out there. I wished I had some of Marci’s unicorn tears but there was no way I could explain going in there and buying a year’s supply of it.
Tai wanted me to bring my shampoo too, so I put together a couple smaller bottles of that and conditioner, and two of the body wash I use. And again, it seemed like an indulgence just like the pedicures, but I needed to take care of myself. I’d used commercial shampoo before, and except for the mildest of infant shampoo that did jack-shit to actually clean my hair, long-term it made my scalp itch like crazy.
I’m such a mess. What the hell do they see in me?
Nope, not going there, not today. If there’s any day of the year that I’m allowed to think nicely of myself and not feel like a complete waste of space, it’s today. So that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to be happy and positive today and—
“I think we’re ready to go,” Rachel said from the doorway. She was more dour than usual, but I had to cut her some slack since she was having to give up the life she’d gotten so comfortable with over the last few years.
“You’ve got all your family photos, all the kids’ special toys? You aren’t coming back.”
“I know, Azzie. I took everything that I don’t want to lose. I’m not stupid.”
“Cool. Cool, cool…” I looked down at the jar in my hand. “Can you write down the recipe for my lotion and shampoo and stuff? All the proportions? And maybe substitutions for things?” She started rattling off ingredients and I stopped her. “Can you please write it down for me? Here—” I handed her a pad of paper from my desk and a pen, and she rolled her eyes but started writing. I continued consolidating the last few things I wanted to take, until she handed me the pad back. “You just wrote the ingredients, not the proportions. I need the proportions. And substitutions in case things aren’t available.”
“It’s in my book in the kitchen.”
“Okay… do you mind adding all that for me?”
“I have things to do, Azzie, I don’t have time—”
“You just said you’re ready to go,” the deep rasp of Tai’s voice came from the doorway behind her and she jumped, spinning to look at him. “Go in the kitchen and write down the proportions.” Her eyes got huge, then she scurried past him and disappeared down the hallway. “Is she always that difficult?” he asked me, brow furrowed.
I shrugged. Yes, but I wasn’t going to say anything, and within a matter of hours now, I’d never have to deal with her again.
“What fun that must’ve been,” he rolled his eyes. “Do you need help with anything?’
I shook my head. “Nope, I just finished getting some lotion and shampoo and such together. That’s all I really need to take from here.”
“Don’t you need clothes and— other things?”
I shook my head again. “Anything important is at Mouse’s. Only place I could guarantee things wouldn’t disappear.”
He looked around at the nearly empty room, devoid of all personal items. “This isn’t much of a room for a seventeen year old girl… was it always this bare?”
I couldn’t help it, I grinned at him, and I’m sure it was borderline-maniacal looking. “Good thing a seventeen year old girl won’t be living here anymore,” I said, somewhat cryptically, but I didn’t want them to know what day it was. I don’t know why, I just didn’t.
Well, I take that back, I did know why. My birthday has always really kind of sucked, pretty much since I was diagnosed with PV at eleven, and I didn’t want to be disappointed today. It’s just better if no one knows, then no one can purposely fuck it up. “Don’t worry about it, once you see my room at Mouse’s, you’ll understand.”
He nodded, thoughtfully. “Everything okay?” At my blank look, he clarified. “I mean, um, with us. A lot has happened today and, well, we’ve sorta gone to a next step and I just—”
“It’s all good, Tai,” I said, toning down my grin to a softer smile. “It’s really good, Tai.”
He grinned back at me, no longer quite so awkward. “Good,” he said softly, and reached for my hand. “Good. Same. For me, I mean.”
I looked down, feeling my face heat up, and my cheeks were hurting from smiling so hard. “Good,” I said back.
“The, uh, age difference isn’t a problem, is it?” he asked suddenly, real concern in his voice.
I shook my head, still smiling. “Not for me.�
�
“Me neither.”
“Good.”
“Oh. My. God. I don’t know whether I want to throw up or push you two into a closet and come back in a half hour,” Luka said from the doorway, shaking his head at us with a weird smile. “You two are the most awkward—”
“Luka!” Sev barked, pushing him into the room. “Leave them alone! They’re adorable and you know it.”
“Pffft…” Luka glared at Sev then gave me some wicked side-eye. “Azzie knows I’m just jealous because she hasn’t kissed me yet. And it’s been, like, forever and we’re fucking besties too! I shoulda had first dibs.”
“Well, technically, Sasha was first,” I said, cringing a little but no one seemed upset in the least. Luka and Sev knew already, but Tai didn’t.
“Oh, right! Well that’s something at least,” Luka’s head bobbed up and down, pleased. “At least one of us got to kiss you first.” He stuck his tongue out at Tai.
“Yeah, I mean, he was really first,” I said, making a face. “For what that’s worth.”
“Wait, what?”
I shrugged. “He was my first kiss,” I said, and it was like I’d announced I ate babies on Tuesdays for second breakfast.
“I knew you were a virgin but I thought you’d at least been kissed!” Sev looked appalled at the situation, like the whole thing was a failure of the system or something.
“Who would I be kissing? The guy with the jaw you broke? Or one of the other douchebags at school?”
“This is a military base full of horny, bored soldiers — none of them made a play for you?”
I looked around at all of them since now Spider was in the room too, and rolled my eyes. “No, no they did not. I’m the asset. One does not mack on the thing you’re here to protect. And all the boys at school were mostly douchebags. So again, who would I be kissing? My teachers? No offense, Spider.”
“None taken.”
“For the record, I’m going to be protecting you with my life, and I fully intend on macking on you.”
My face, it was burning. And the carpet was suddenly fascinating, and my cheeks were aching from the strain of smiling as big as I was. “Okay,” I whispered, hyper-conscious of my hand still in Tai’s, and that I was surrounded by these amazing, incredibly beautiful men who all seemed to be into me.
Book of the Damned: A-E5L1-01-00: (A reverse harem, post-pandemic, slow-burn romance) (The JAK2 Cycle, Book 2) Page 18
