“I’m sure that’s the only kind of virgin you are. And by the way, you’re a really huge pain in the ass. Give me my recipes back, or I really will kick you in the kneecap. You’re testing my damn patience and making me turn violent. You’re a ginormous asshat.”
“You really shouldn’t call your future husband names. You’re lucky that I’m not one to hold a grudge.”
Her entire face changes. The look of annoyance that was radiating off of her vanishes, and in its place, is sheer amusement. I watch in awe as her face relaxes enough for a small smile to take the place of her frown. The two dimples that I’ve grown to adore from afar are just barely evident, but still, I see them. They’re a hundred times cuter up close.
“Future husband. Wow. That’s impressive.”
“Thank you.” I’m practically beaming at this point, having way too much fun with her to even consider shutting this down. “I’ve heard that more than once. Not usually in regard to the future husband comment, but about certain aspects of me, most definitely. Impressive and Liam usually go hand in hand.”
“Is that so?” She rolls her eyes. “And what part about me makes you want to make me your future wife? The fact that I haven’t kicked you in the kneecap yet. Or because you think that you can steal from me, and get away with it?”
“Nah.” My eyes lock with hers. “The only thing that I plan on stealing from you is your heart. I’ll give you your recipes back, but we’re going to have to make a deal first.”
I have her full attention, so for now, I plan on keeping it. I have no idea where I’m going with any of this, but I’m too far gone to stop it now. As long as I have something that she wants, she’ll stay standing in front of me. The second that I return her recipes, she’ll walk away from me, exactly as she should.
You see, here’s the thing about girls like her and guys like me: girls like her come from money, live in big houses, and end up with guys who wear sweaters tied around their necks. Guys like me don’t stand a chance with her type, nor should we even be allowed to try. Our worlds are too fucking different for it ever to work out.
Even still, I just can’t help myself when it comes to this girl. She’s been the focus of every fantasy that I’ve allowed myself to have since the very first time that I laid eyes on her, right here, in this park.
She comes here every single day at three o’clock sharp and sits on the park bench in front of us, facing the water. She’s usually writing furiously on paper when I watch her, and now I know exactly what she’s writing. Dirty, pornographic recipes. It’s not what I expected it, but it makes her even more adorable.
“I’m not making any deals with you.” Her arms fold across her chest and she widens her stance, staring at me hard. “I shouldn’t have to. Maybe your mom didn’t take the time to teach you manners, so allow me. When something isn’t yours, you don’t keep it, you return it to the owner. You don’t make deals; you don’t spit out stupid pick-up lines about being someone’s future husband. You simply return the item. This is your chance to do the right thing.”
“My mom is dead.” I don’t even know why in the fuck I let those words leave my mouth. I never fucking talk about my parents. That’s one subject that I never speak on. But then, I realize that letting that slip actually turns out to be a win. Her entire face falls, and her mouth drops open. This time when she reaches for me, it’s not to take back what I have that is hers. It’s simply to place her hand on my wrist and utter a small apology.
“Oh, I’m a jerk.” Her hand settles against my skin, and as soon as it does, I feel as though I’ve been shocked. A current races through me, causing a full blown fire to erupt inside of me that even I am unprepared for.
I realize immediately that she feels it too. She pulls her hand back and stares up at me with large, shocked eyes.
“What in the…”
“See?” I’m winging it at this point, because I to, am thrown for a fucking loop over the way that her skin felt on mine. “Future husband, in the flesh.”
“Yeah, right,” she tells me, without an ounce of resolve in her voice. “That would be insane. Why would you want to marry me, anyways?”
“Because you’re the most beautiful creature that I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
The mood shifts immediately as her head tips back and her beautiful laugh fills up the air between us. Good fucking God, I love the sound of it. Just the sound alone sends chills running down my spine.
“That was good.” She laughs again. “That was actually really good.”
I let my guard down for just a second, and it turns out to be my fate. My hand lowers just enough that as I’m sidetracked by staring at how fucking beautiful she is, she manages to snatch the papers out of my hand.
“The beautiful creature calls herself Abigail, by the way.” She takes a few steps back, her eyes dancing with humor as she moves away from me. As she moves, my feet follow, until suddenly I’m standing directly behind the park bench that still holds the rest of her things.
“Abigail? That’s a beautiful name.”
“It is.” She beams. “But my friends call me Abby.”
“Abby.” I repeat, testing the way that it sounds as it rolls off of my lips.
“Ah, nope.” She winks at me, before shoving her papers into one of the folders on the bench. “I said that my friends call me Abby. You sir, are not my friend.”
“That’s good.” I take a step closer to her. “I have no intentions of being your friend.” She studies me with intense curiosity, her eyes blinking rapidly, as she tries to figure out my motive. Good luck with that, beautiful. Even I have no idea what my plan is, here.
“I’d much rather be the guy that steals your heart, and every single one of your firsts.” As I stare down at her, I realize, she probably has a lot of those to give. “Someday, I’m going to do that, Abby. Someday, I’m going to be your everything.”
“My everything?” She tries to look like she’s taken back. The soft grunt is telling of that, but I can tell immediately that she isn’t really taken back at all. I’ve definitely sparked her interest.
“Yeah. Someday.”
The fact that I mean what I’ve said takes me by total surprise. Up until the words left my lips, I hadn’t really thought much about it at all. But it’s almost as if I’ve lost all control at this point. Something about her has caused my mouth to open, and my soul to speak to hers. I’m just as shocked as she is.
She studies me intently, casting an appreciative glance over my body. This part of me always seems to attract the ladies. I’ve inherited my father’s dark skin and my mother’s blue eyes. My body is large and filled with muscle, all thanks to my daily workouts inside of the ring at the gym on my side of town, where I spend most of my time perfecting my craft.
It’s been this way since I was fourteen years old. Honestly, it’s had to be. Being tossed from one foster home to the next meant that I had to be strong enough to defend my younger siblings at any given moment. I learned pretty early in life how to fight, and once I started, I decided to never stop. For the last few months, I’ve been working with a trainer, and taking the craft that I learned for survival, and turned it into a way to make money.
Fighting in local bars at night isn’t where I want to be in life, but for right now, it pays the bills. And it’s lead me here, to this particular park, and allowed my path to cross with the woman who has without knowing, pulled the rug out from underneath me.
“How do you know that I have a lot of firsts to give?” She eyes me cautiously. “You seem very confident with that.”
I wave her recipe in my hand and lock eyes with her.
“It’s fairly obvious, sweetheart. You named a cake, ‘better than sex’.” I wink at her. “I don’t care how good of a baker you are, that shit is just impossible. I’m guessing that you don’t know that, so I dare say, you never have. I’d even bet that you’ve never been kissed before.”
My God. When she glances down at her feet, I immediatel
y know that I am spot on. She is as pure as they come, which is honestly all the more reason, that I should back the fuck up, and leave her alone.
But even though I know that, I realize immediately, that leaving her alone will be the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. I’m too damn drawn to her.
Which is precisely why my feet are moving towards her, and my brain has basically become a mute. Her breath catches, as my hand cups her cheek, tipping her head back so that it can meet mine. She looks stunned, as she should be. I’ve known her less than fifteen minutes, and now, I’m about to kiss her.
She should kick me in the kneecap and run in the opposite direction. Except, she doesn’t do that at all. In fact, I watch in total surprise, as she leans into me, and presses her lips to mine.
The feeling of her, the taste of her, fuck me. I can’t even describe it.
It’s a short kiss, she pulls back almost immediately. But it’s long enough for me to know that I will never be the same again.
“Well, future husband,” she smiles softly. “Congratulations. You just stole my first kiss.”
You just stole my entire fucking heart.
“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Her eyes shift down, before finally traveling slowly back up to mine.
“Which part?” I’ve said so much in the last ten minutes, that she’s going to need to be a bit more specific.
“Did your mom really die?”
“Yes.”
Her entire face falls, and a look of pity fills her face. I fucking hate when people look at me like this, sad and feeling sorry for me. I’ve seen this look a million times before, from case workers, to police officers, to court appointed guardians. Yet, when Abby does it, I don’t feel angry at all. In fact, I actually accept her apology instead of brushing her off. “I’m so sorry. That must have been really horrible.”
“It was.” I stare down at her. “I lost my dad exactly one week later. He couldn’t live without her, so he killed himself, leaving myself and my two siblings to fend for ourselves.” A silence falls over us, as her breath catches. She reaches for me, grabbing onto my wrist again and staring at me with her wide eyes.
“Oh, Liam.”
Sometimes, this part of my story fills me with rage, over my dad’s selfish decision to end his own life and leave my siblings and I orphans. Sometimes, it makes me feel worthless, knowing that I wasn’t enough for him to stick around.
But for the most part, I just feel empty about it, and that’s the feeling that I’m most comfortable with.
Normally, I would try to just brush past this part, but somehow, with her, I don’t even want to. The next thing that I know, I’m sitting next to her on the bench, her bench, and I’m spilling my soul.
I tell her about my parents, about how I’m raising my siblings, and really, everything else in between. I learn a hell of a lot more about her than just her name. She shows me her stack of recipes and vows to make me change my mind on the title of the cake that I gave her so much shit for.
We end up talking for hours, laughing, joking, and sharing our secrets. I could have never imagined that she would be so easy to talk to, but it doesn’t even seem as though our mouths are the ones doing the talking. It feels more like we’re sharing our souls.
As the sun starts to set in the sky, I realize immediately that it’s time for me to go. Talking to her was amazing, and for once in my life, I felt like I was finally able to soak up some of the sunlight, instead of always being surrounded by darkness. When I stand to go, she eyes me curiously.
“Is that it?”
“What do you mean?” As I stare down at her, I read her questions immediately in her eyes.
“Is that it? We just talked like that, and, now you just leave?”
I stare at the sun that has now begun to sink behind the clouds.
“Yeah, I mean, I have to get home before it starts to get too dark. My side of town isn’t known for being very great once the sun sets.”
My side of town isn’t known for being great ever, but it’s a hell of a lot worse after dark. “Plus, my siblings are waiting on me to make them dinner.”
“So, will I see you again?”
I shift on my feet. Fuck, I want to tell her yes. I want to tell her how I meant every single word that I said to her today.
The idea of seeing Abby again makes me feel like a kid on Christmas morning. It fills me with excitement and anticipation. The idea of listening to her laugh and watching the way that her eyes light up when she tells a story makes me ache for more of that.
But even I know that I can’t do that. Allowing her to step into my world would only bring her harm. There’s no fucking way in the world that I would ever do that to her.
“I’ve really got to go, Abby. Good luck with culinary school. Someday, maybe I’ll get the chance to test your cake title.”
“Liam, wait.” Her hand flies out, grabbing a hold of my wrist and stopping me in my tracks.
“You told me that you were going to take all of my firsts. How do you plan on doing that if you don’t have my number?”
Don’t do it, Liam. Don’t fucking…
“I took a first today, sweetheart.” Walking away from her right now feels so fucking wrong, but I know that it’s the right thing to do. “That’s really all that you should allow a guy like me to take.”
“What if I wanted to give you more?”
The air shifts between us, and my resolve is just about dying inside of me.
“Maybe someday that can happen.” I take a step back from her, desperate now to put some distance between us, even though earlier, I couldn’t make myself leave her alone.
“Maybe someday soon.”
“Sounds like a date, Abby.”
Too bad I didn’t realize in this moment just how badly this could all blow up in our faces. I should have known better than to bring her into my world, pulling her down into my darkness.
I should have just left her alone.
Instead, I ruined her.
3
Liam
“Alright, I’ve beat around the bush long enough.” Luke steps in front of me, blocking my shot of the bag that I’ve been beating the shit for what feels like hours at this point. “We need to talk about what in the fuck just happened.”
I’m still in shock, hardly processing anything, so I don’t have words to even express the way that I’m feeling right now. Basically, I’m in stunned, which is why I immediately stepped into the ring and began going to town on a punching bag.
“Malone is supposed to be showing up here anytime.” Luke snorts at my miserable attempt at changing the subject. “Rex said he was coming around noon. We should really get the ring ready.”
You see, that’s how my day was supposed to go. Rico Malone is a nineteen year old kid who has been busting his ass over the last year, trying to get himself ready to enter the fighting circuit. The first time that I met him, I recognized his talent. I also recognized the internal battle he was fighting every day, because I too have been right there, in his shoes. I felt the immediate need to help the kid, and to personally see to it that he reaches his full potential. Today was supposed to be that day. I’ve been looking forward to him joining us here and becoming yet another kick ass fighter brought to you by Worth Gyms. Then, my world was abruptly rocked.
“Fuck the ring. I want to talk about how your ex-girlfriend just walked into our gym, six years later, without as much as blinking. I want to know why she looked at me as if I were some stranger on the street, rather than the little brother of the guy that she was about to marry. I want to know why she had to ask who in the fuck you were, and if you were even here. Riddle me that, Liam, instead of trying to talk about some shit that doesn’t even matter.”
At my complete silence, Luke’s eyes narrow. And when I continue to keep my mouth shut, he finally grunts and walks away. I hear him muttering a string of curse words under his breath, but honestly, I don’t care.
I know that he wa
nts answers, but to be honest, I just don’t have any right now. My mind is too fucking blown to process anything.
It’s amazing how much time six years really is. It’s also crazy how even though six years has passed, my heart still skipped a fucking beat the second that my eyes landed on her. It was like I was transported back into the past, watching her from afar, the way that I did for so fucking long.
If I ever let myself imagine that I had gotten over her, the five minutes that she stood in front of me proved that to be a myth. Which is why I don’t want to talk about it. Talking about it means acknowledging that it happened. Acknowledging it means that she’ll be back to being the center of my universe.
That’s something that just can’t happen.
I’m not some young kid anymore, thinking that love can conquer all. I know better now. This world has completely jaded my thoughts on any of that garbage.
Letting Abby back in, regardless of how desperate she is, will no doubt, burn us both. The last time that everything exploded between us, I almost didn’t survive it.
I’ve shut her down before. It gutted me, and I lost my heart in the process, but I still managed to keep breathing. I can do it again. I know that I can.
“Yeah, right,” the little voice inside of my head snickers, as I try to convince myself that I’m not willing to run to her rescue.
I punch the bag in front of me again, trying to make the voice stop.
“Remember how she said she needed you?”
“Shut up!” I roar, whipping my body around, and leaning my leg into the bag, kicking it hard enough to send it over into the ropes.
“If you loved me, if you ever really loved me…”
Abby’s voice has now taken the place of my own. Her words circle inside of my head, drowning me, and making me lose all of my control. There have been times in my life, that I’ve considered what it would be like to run into her again. If I had just one more chance to see her face, what would I do? What would I say?
Of course, I’ve told myself that I would look away, and walk right past her, as if she wasn’t the only woman that I’ve ever really loved. I knew that it would be hard, but I could do it. But now, well, fuck. This is different. I could never have imagined this.
Worth Repeating (Worth It All Book 1) Page 2
