by Ann Mcintosh
“Give it here. I’ll do it.”
“Oh no,” he said, moving it out of her reach. “We can do it, together.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HIS WORDS STAYED with her the rest of the afternoon, and although she tried not to dwell on them, she thought of them each time she looked at Rohan.
She was seeing him differently, she realized, as they walked to her truck to go into Banff. Before she’d been caught up in seeing the shadows and reflections of the young man she’d known. Now she saw the man he’d become and had no interest in comparing the two.
Not anymore.
Here was someone who’d weathered adversity, been blindsided by life when he’d least expected it, and somehow refused to break.
And she knew it was a struggle for him—had seen it for herself. Yet he kept it all together, and even though she had dropped the bombshell on him, raking up matters he no doubt would have preferred to stay in the past, he could smile and laugh, be silly with her.
She’d seen his outer scars and glimpsed his inner ones, but none of them held him back from accepting the idea of having a son. Indeed, he’d done so without protest, which was another mark in his favor.
Since Ben still wasn’t allowed visitors, they went straight to the Banff Avenue shopping area.
It was ablaze with lights, which glinted off the snow even in the waning afternoon light, and festive decorations hung from every streetlamp and in all the store windows. Carolers, dressed like something out of a Dickens novel, walked among the shoppers, stopping periodically to serenade them.
“I know you said Christmas isn’t your thing, and this is as festive as it gets,” she told him as they strolled along. “But this is where the shopping is best. There’s a suit store right over there.”
“I’m actually enjoying this Christmas,” he said, his voice casual. “For the first time in a very long time.”
She didn’t reply, as a wave of pleasure engulfed her, causing a lump in her throat.
At the clothing store, the sales woman was happy to help Rohan find a suit he liked, and that fit without needing alterations.
A little too happy, in Elise’s estimation.
“This one is perfect,” she all but purred, rubbing her hands across his shoulders from behind. “And the color really goes well with your skin tone.”
Rohan turned to Elise, who was sitting on the sidelines, trying to appear unconcerned and hide her annoyance at the saleslady’s over-the-top, touchy-feely pitch.
“What do you think?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “Like it?”
“You look great,” she said.
In reality, he looked fantastic.
Scrumptious.
Everything the saleslady said was true, but Elise knew firsthand exactly how the body beneath the fabric looked, and could see just how the navy blue suit emphasized its best attributes. The jacket hung beautifully from his broad shoulders, and the dress pants did nothing to obscure his lean hips and wonderfully muscled thighs.
Just looking at him made her mouth water.
He’d picked out a light blue dress shirt and a blue tie with discreet red stripes, while a pair of black dress shoes completed the outfit.
The effect was both distinguished and sexy, and Elise realized how proud she was going to be, walking into the dinner with him the following night. Thank goodness she’d bought herself a new dress last week, instead of planning to trot out one of her “old faithfuls.”
“I’ll take it all,” he told the beaming saleswoman.
Once they were back out on the main road, they took their time looking in the shop windows they passed.
Suddenly, Rohan paused in front of a gallery and said, “I want to go in here.”
When she followed him in and saw what had caught his eye, she couldn’t help smiling.
It was a small, stylized painting of a blue jay, done by a local artist whose name Elise recognized.
Rohan turned a questioning gaze her way. “Do you think Jeevan would like this?”
“I’m sure he’d love it,” she replied, getting a little misty-eyed. “That’s one of his favorite local artists, but he only has some prints, not an original.”
Rohan immediately picked it up. “Plus, you said he likes corvids, right?”
“Right,” she agreed as he went toward the cash register.
“Would you like this wrapped?” the gentleman manning the store asked.
“Yes, please,” Rohan replied, adding, “It’s for my son, and I would hate for it to get damaged.”
Elise turned away so he wouldn’t see how touched she was, how much his words meant to her.
And how much she wanted him, right then.
Not just in a sexual way, but in every way she could think of. She could try to tell herself it was just echoes of love long gone that made her feel this way, but she already knew that wasn’t true.
When she first fell for him, it was because of his sunny, winning disposition, his humor, along with his handsome face and young, fit body. While they’d had serious conversations, it was his open personality and the unfettered joy of him she remembered best.
He was still handsome despite his scars, and kept himself in good shape, but in many other ways he’d changed completely. There were flashes of humor now, not the constant smiling banter she’d so enjoyed. And he kept most of his thoughts and emotions to himself, when before they’d been freely shared, or visible in his expression.
Yet that didn’t stop her from wanting him, just the way he was.
By the time the gift was wrapped, she had herself back under control, after a stern reminder that this wasn’t about them, and Jeevan was their main—only—concern.
Outside, he looked up at the dark, cloudless sky and remarked, “It’s gotten colder. How about a coffee or hot chocolate, before we continue on?”
“Sure.”
They waited for a horse-drawn carriage to pass, before crossing the busy street toward a café. As they stepped up on the sidewalk on the other side, a commotion broke out a few meters away.
“Hey, watch where you’re going!”
“Mama? Mama?”
“Are you all right?”
“I think she’s probably drunk.”
At the cacophony of voices, Elise instinctively turned to see a young woman stagger to one side, putting out her hand to stop her momentum and steady herself against the building. It didn’t help, as she lost her footing, going down in a heap.
A little girl standing nearby screamed, “Mama!” and rushed toward the fallen woman.
Elise was moving before she’d even thought about it, aware of Rohan coming up just behind. Getting to the woman, Elise parted the gathering crowd and said, “I’m a doctor. Let me through.”
By the time she went down on her knees beside the woman, Rohan was coaxing away the little girl, who was crying for her mother.
Cursing the lack of her medical bag, Elise began her examination, although the woman weakly flailed with her right arm, as if trying to push her away, and mumbled unintelligibly.
“I’m calling an ambulance,” Rohan said, his voice calm, controlled.
The woman’s mumbling got louder, but Elise couldn’t make out the words. She took her pulse, finding it rapid; the patient’s breathing was shallow. Fear radiated from her eyes, which blinked and flickered as though she was having a hard time focusing.
And Elise saw a marked difference in her eyelids: the left one was drooping.
Perhaps an aneurysm or a stroke?
“It’s okay,” she said. Keeping the patient calm was imperative. There wasn’t anything she could do out here on the sidewalk. They had to get her to a hospital ASAP. “Your daughter is safe, and I’m a doctor. Let me take care of you.”
“Take my coat.” Rohan handed it down, adding, “Ambulance i
s on the way.”
Elise put Rohan’s coat over the other woman, then held her hand, straining to hear the sound of sirens and heaving a sigh of relief when she heard them approaching.
“We’re going to get you fixed up, okay?”
The chilled fingers squeezed slightly around Elise’s, just as the emergency vehicle pulled up.
Looking up while digging her car keys out of her pocket, she said to Rohan, “I’m going to the hospital with her. Meet me there.”
“Will do,” he replied, still calm, the little girl now safely ensconced in his arms, her head on his shoulder, thumb in mouth. Bending, he took the keys from her hand. “You go and get her through this.”
And somehow, the way he said it, with assurance of her abilities, made her feel like a million dollars.
* * *
Rohan had to hand the little girl, who’d told him her name was Brenna, over to the two police officers that attended on the scene, but Brenna wasn’t happy about it.
The cops weren’t happy, either, when the little girl started to wail.
“I’ll come to the hospital,” Rohan told her as she reached out her arms to him, after one of the officers had taken her from him.
“There’s no need for that, sir,” the other officer told him, sounding stern. “We’ll take care of her until a relative can be found.”
“I have to go there anyway,” he responded. “I was shopping with Dr. van Hagan and I have to pick her up from the hospital.”
Hearing Elise’s name made them relax, and neither objected again when he told Brenna he’d see her in a few minutes.
He hurried back to the truck and stowed the packages on the back seat. Suddenly realizing he didn’t know where the hospital was, he had to take a moment to look it up with his GPS. Then, with the tinny voice giving him directions, he made his way there.
Going in through the front entrance, he paused, looking at the signs, trying to figure out where the emergency room waiting area was located. Following the arrows, he was about to make his way down a corridor when he spotted the gift shop.
Brenna was so scared. Maybe a stuffed toy or a book would make her feel a little bit better?
He went in and chose a virulently pink bunny and a picture book, after asking the lady at the register what would be appropriate for a three-year-old, which was his estimate of the little one’s age.
Setting off, he took the corridor indicated, but soon realized he must have missed a turn. He’d just turned back when, from behind him, a voice said, “Jeevan! You’re home early!”
But it was only when he felt a hand on his arm that he registered the woman dressed in scrubs was actually talking to him.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You’ve got the wrong person.”
“Oh,” she replied, looking both startled and chagrined, her gaze searching his face intently for an instant. “I’m so sorry. I thought you were someone else. Can I help you?”
As he walked away a moment later with the directions to where he needed to be, the knowledge of being a father struck him in a way it hadn’t before.
Oh, he’d believed it, but until that nurse or doctor had mistaken him for his son, he’d thought of it in an almost academic way.
At one time, he and Elise van Hagan had been intimate, and that coupling had produced a child—Jeevan.
One plus one equaled two.
Nothing truly surprising about that, and because Rohan remembered nothing of his son’s conceiving, Jeevan hadn’t actually seemed real. Not even when he looked at the photographs, or heard Elise speak so lovingly of him.
But somehow, having the woman mistake him for his son brought the entire situation to life in a new way. Took it from the theoretical and made it completely, heartachingly factual.
It felt as though he were walking on air the entire way down to urgent care.
I’m a father. And my son looks like me.
As he was approaching the door to the waiting area, Elise came through another one farther down the hallway, and he went over to her.
“How is the patient doing?”
“She’s holding her own, but I’ve called for a specialist.”
“Elise. Rohan.”
Hearing their names, they turned in unison to see Janice approaching from the opposite direction. She hugged them both, one after the other, as she got to them.
“How’s Ben?” Elise asked.
“He’s doing all right. Awake now after brain surgery and an operation to pin his leg. They’ve transferred him out of ICU into a room, and I just popped over to the cafeteria for a bite to eat.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her tired, worried eyes. “He’s not talking yet, but that’s probably the effects of the anesthetic. Although the doctors keep talking about cognitive impairment, I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’ll be out of the hospital in no time.”
The determination in her voice as she averred her son would recover worried him. He didn’t want to frighten her, but at the same time, it was a situation too close to his own to let it pass.
“I’m sure he will, too,” Rohan said gently. “But it might take some time.”
“No, no.” Her hand waved, as though telling him to go away. “Ben’s strong. He’ll be fighting fit before we know it.”
“I hope you’re right. But head trauma can be tricky and take a while to heal.” He found he’d raised his hand to his face and was tempted to drop it, but instead he lifted it higher, to the rear of his skull. “I know that from personal experience. And I know how frustrating it can be to be unable to rise to other people’s expectations, when you’re trying your best.”
Janice’s gaze searched his, and she nodded as tears filled her eyes.
There was nothing to do but put his arm around her shoulder and let her lean her forehead on his chest as she cried, probably for the first time since they’d got Ben out of the destroyed barn.
Looking over her head, he met Elise’s gaze and found there an expression of such warmth that he had to look away. The conversation left him feeling exposed, vulnerable. He didn’t want Elise’s sympathy. In fact, he would go so far as to say that it was the last thing on earth he wanted.
But what she seemed to offer was understanding, and it almost undid him.
“Here,” Elise said, thrusting some facial tissue into Janice’s hand.
“Thank you.” Janice stepped away, looking a little ashamed. “I’m sorry for crying all over you like that, Rohan.”
“You’ve had a long, stressful day,” he said, then cleared his throat. “It’s fine.”
“I need to get back to Ben, but I’ll remember what you said.” She straightened her back, as though getting ready to do battle, but her lower lip quivered. “As a parent, sometimes you want the best for your child so badly that you push too hard, but I’ll remember not to make Ben feel inadequate if he doesn’t recover as quickly as I hope.”
“That’s the best thing to do for him, I think. Let him recover in his own time and support him as he does.”
“I will,” she said, giving them both quick hugs before heading for the elevators.
“That was good advice,” Elise told him, her gaze warm, but probing.
“I hope she takes it,” he admitted, knowing he was laying a painful part of his soul bare to her, and not caring anymore. “Or she could do more harm to Ben than good.”
Someone popped their head out of a door and called for Elise.
“I have to go,” she said before giving him the most heart-twisting smile and then hurrying off.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ELISE CAME OUT of the cubicle where her patient was, about ten minutes after she’d seen Rohan in the corridor. A glance into the emergency waiting area, to see where he was, had her heart aching with a combination of wonder and sorrow.
The patient’s daughter, who was maybe two or th
ree years old, was sitting sandwiched between Rohan and a police officer. She was clutching the rabbit she’d seen in Rohan’s hand earlier, and the two men on either side of her were taking turns reading from the book perched on her lap.
That was the kind of father Rohan would have been to Jeevan: kind, gentle, willing to be involved. Knowing they’d both missed that opportunity was heartbreaking.
“That’s your patient’s daughter,” a nurse said, following Elise’s gaze. “Those two calmed her down and the man on her left even bought her that stuffie from the shop. They’ve been keeping her entertained while we try to figure out where the family is staying. She doesn’t know the name of the hotel, but she did say her father is here with them.”
Of course, Elise already knew most of that, but she made the nurse none the wiser.
“No sign of a room keycard in Mom’s purse?”
“No, and her phone has one of those manual locks on the screen, where you have to know which pattern to draw before it’ll let you in. I have one of the NAs calling the hotels, but it might take a while.”
“Mom’s had a minor stroke,” Elise said. “And I’ve called for a neurosurgeon to consult, so we need to find Dad ASAP.”
“We’re doing our best,” the nurse advised.
“I’ll see if I can find out anything useful from the daughter,” Elise said as the nurse hurried away.
Taking a deep breath, Elise made her way over to the little group, and she almost faltered when Rohan looked up and saw her—and smiled.
It was the kind of smile that was almost a grin, and did all kinds of crazy things to her body and her heart. Once more, in an inappropriate place, she wanted to grab him and kiss him.
Ignoring her reactions was almost impossible, but she had to put them aside.
Until later, at least.
Stooping down in front of the little girl, she said, “Hi, I’m Elise. What’s your name?”
“Brenna,” the little one replied. “Wanna read my book wif me?”
“I’d like that, but maybe later, okay?” Elise smiled, glad the men had already put Brenna at ease, which would make asking her questions that much simpler. “But first, can you tell me what you, your mom and dad have done since you got here?”
