Taken by the Renegade (Rise of the Sadecs Book 2)
Page 20
She did make friends among the new humans coming in eventually. Not close friends, but people she could walk with or share a meal with at times. It gave her something to do besides monopolizing the relaxation suites when she wasn't with her Masters, but then everything changed.
A new woman arrived, and on her first day, the rumors began to spread that the general had gone down to Earth to retrieve her personally. That had never happened before, but she shrugged it off, deciding he'd probably been down there for other reasons and brought her back with him for convenience.
But then people began to talk about how he'd decided to claim this girl, Kenzi, for himself, and that—that hurt Silla's pride. She'd humbled herself to ask him to take her as his slave, not once, but twice, and he'd said no. He didn't have time for a slave. There weren't enough humans to go around.
If things had changed enough that he felt okay with keeping one for himself, then why hadn't he claimed her? She retreated to their quarters and didn't come out for days. She spent her time sulking and storming around, while Nikon and Era'D tried to figure out what had her so upset that even a good long spanking wouldn't fix it.
It was ridiculous to feel insulted, and she didn't even know why she cared. What difference did it make who she belonged to when she didn't love any of them anyway? It all felt so empty and meaningless, except when she was actually so full of endorphins that she couldn't think.
She'd fixated on the general, and she didn't understand why. It was like he was some kind of surrogate for the love she'd lost—but that made no sense. He really wasn't similar to her lost lover except in the most basic ways that any dominant Sadec would be. She tried to push past it and just happened to be walking with a human named Cyp when they came across the new girl in the hall.
"Didn't take her too long to break out. She must be in a hurry to get passed around," she said in a low aside to her friend. They laughed because they both knew that Kenzi had no idea what she'd gotten into.
Silla had helped make the rules and set up a system for introducing new humans to the ship—so, of course, it was obvious that Kenzi was lying when she said she had permission to leave her quarters. None of the new ones got permission. They just, eventually, disobeyed, and when that happened, the Sadecs would begin the sharing which increased the morale on the ship.
She thought it was a nice touch. It gave all the little subby boys and girls some alone time with their owner before they had to get used to pleasing a variety of Sadecs. Some volunteers had probably only ever had one Dom at a time, since human Doms tended to be on the possessive side, and for those, she had a feeling it was going to be a shock, even though it was all in the contract.
It was all very neatly organized now, thanks to her. She'd learned from her experiences and used them to help. Though, who she was helping was debatable. She had a feeling Kenzi wouldn't feel like she'd been done any favors when she found out what was coming, but then that was why no one but Dez knew she'd helped the general with all of it.
The new ones were always so skittish that it could be fun to panic them, and they probably would have teased her for a while if a passing warrior hadn't growled at them. Cyp had an annoying habit of trying to avoid punishment, even when it would only be a few quick smacks for getting in the way, so he immediately dragged them off to the recreation areas.
Silla was used to leading, but she let him because she wanted to inspect this special human who had caught the general's attention. They ended up settling in the hydroponics section and she took the lead then. Cyp wasn't as quiet as he thought he was, and behind her, she could hear him telling Kenzi a slightly distorted version of her punishment from the general.
She couldn't be bothered to correct him, though it did annoy her that somehow, he'd found out about it and been given the idea that she had a crush on the general. The truth was far more complicated than that—but she didn't care what rumors they passed around. She put more distance between them, so she didn't have to hear it.
They settled in a secluded glen that had once been her favorite place on the ship to hide. It was no longer a secret, but it was still pretty, and she flopped on the grass and got comfortable as she watched them catch up.
By the end of their meeting, she'd decided that Kenzi was nothing special. She was sweet, in an awe-struck kind of way that reminded her of a helpless kitten. Being mean to her felt like kicking a puppy.
Kenzi wasn't helpless, though, not if she was telling the truth about her martial arts training. She just had trouble seeing Kenzi as a bad-ass fighter; she was so small, at least in comparison to the Sadecs. Silla had been with the aliens long enough that she tended to compare everything to them now, so maybe her view was a little skewed.
She walked away from them with every intention of dismissing Kenzi from her mind. She had two Masters, and that meant she had no reason to envy anyone else's status. She was convinced Kenzi had probably only been picked by the general because she'd been one of the first humans to volunteer, but more were coming now, and soon she wouldn't be anything important.
She recognized that there was some jealousy there, and she couldn't deny that overhearing the excitement about the general's girl made her green with envy. Everyone's assumption that she must be something amazing, when most likely, it had just been luck, made Silla sharp-tempered and bitchy every time someone mentioned the new girl.
Understanding it, wasn't the same thing as dealing with it, and even though she tried to put it out of her head, it seemed to keep coming back. He was falling in love with his girl. She could see it in the way his eyes followed Kenzi any time she was even a few steps from his side.
When Kenzi got herself in trouble and earned a session on display, the anticipation raced through the ship like a wildfire. Silla couldn't help sneaking into the dining hall to watch. It was hard to get close enough to see much, and she wasn't going to risk ending up in her own alcove by being pushy with the eager warriors.
When the work shift changed and the milling around of warriors leaving for their shifts left a spot, she moved into it quickly. Finally, she was able to see Kenzi. Naked and writhing, the woman made all the right kind of sounds. The little murmured pleas and moans, the cries of pain—she could see why the Sadecs were enjoying themselves so much.
She wanted to feel something about it. She wanted to be smug that Kenzi had gotten herself in trouble. Knowing that the show was only going to make the general's girl even more popular made it hard to enjoy any of it. After a while, she backed out and her place was immediately taken by a Sadec who had just arrived.
And even though there was no specific rule about humans seeing each other on display, she did get a lecture about it from Nikon later that day.
"You should have asked if you could go," he scolded, frowning at her.
She crossed her arms over her chest and thrust her chin out in defiance. "Why? There's no rule that says I have to."
His eyebrow went up and his glance went to her arms pointedly, remaining there until she dropped them to her sides. "Well, now there is. Stay away from there unless one of us is with you, girl."
"But why? It's not a secret what happens!"
"Because there are too many warriors there, and they—" He appeared to struggle to find the right words. "It's not safe, Silla. Warriors are usually in control of their emotions, but you have no idea what display can do to the audience. They would never hurt a Pain Receiver on purpose, but fights have been known to break out, and you could easily be crushed in the crowd if a brawl started." His rigid posture made it clear he was stressed even thinking about it and meant what he was saying.
She sighed and capitulated, mostly because she hadn't gotten anything out of going anyway and didn't intend to go again. She wasn't much of a voyeur, and she hadn't even been able to enjoy her rival being punished.
And despite all of that, Nikon still spanked her for going. She would have argued, except she actually needed the emotional outlet of the punishment. It seemed like th
e only time she actually felt anything anymore.
Not long after that, there was an announcement that the general was going to officially take Kenzi as a mate. It shocked her and everyone else on board. No Sadec had ever gone so far as to publicly claim a human as mate before. She overheard enough of the crew talking about it in hushed whispers to understand that it was a matter of a test of strength—and humans were much weaker physically than their Sadec Masters and could never pass it.
Somehow, Kenzi had proved herself, so her claim of martial arts training had been true. The story of her facing a former triad general on the practice sands and doing well enough that he gave his approval for the mating was everywhere. Kenzi would be the first human to be honored with the status, and as the general's mate, she would have power too.
It tore Silla apart. Not understanding why it upset her so much, made it worse. She was absolutely positive that she didn't have feelings for the Sadec general, so why did she care if he fell in love and—
And then it hit her.
It had nothing to do with wanting him. Oh, her feelings were hurt about being passed over; she'd always had an ego. But what really had her pissed off, what was totally shredding her emotions and making her a wreck was the fact that he had ruined her happiness by taking her from the man she loved, and now he was going to get the whole sappy happy ever after deal.
Because he was the general and she was just a human. Being a masochist and pain slut had never made her feel weak, if anything, she'd felt empowered because she controlled everything. Being a submissive had been harder because sometimes she did feel helpless, especially since she'd ended up on the ship. But until that moment, she'd never felt weak. It was demoralizing, and an awful cloud of depression surrounded her, dragging her down.
Chapter 11
Everyone on the ship would be going to see the ceremony. It was the first of its kind and no one wanted to miss it, except Silla. She didn't want to watch, and worse, she knew that if she did go, she'd be overwhelmed with a need to interrupt everything to scream hateful things at them.
She'd never been to a wedding; they were rare on Earth these days. Relationships were more often done with contracts, signed and sealed at an auto-notary machine, and then afterward, sometimes there would be a get-together. But she'd seen the old ones on vids, and there was always that dramatic moment when the audience was asked if anyone objected—she didn't know if the Sadecs had anything like that, but she was positive that she'd interrupt and object anyway.
She tried to see the general, with every intention of demanding to be returned home. No more asking, no more pleading; she would insist, no matter what the consequences, but he didn't have time to see her. She turned on her Masters, snarling and furious when they told her they would all be attending together.
"Silla, I know you don't like the girl, but this is important. It's historical; don't you want to see it?" Nikon asked, using a coaxing voice to try to get her to obey.
"No."
"Silla, we have to go. Everyone on the ship is going, but especially all the humans. It will look bad if you aren't there." Era'D's tone was firmer than his brother's, making it an order.
"No, I'm not going! I refuse!" It wasn't a calm refusal; she could hear her voice rising in pitch until she sounded close to hysterics. She hated it. The control she wanted to hold on to was fraying like a thread.
"Then tell us why you don't want to go. You must have a reason for acting like this. It can't just be that you dislike the girl so much." Era'D was rapidly losing patience, and that was obvious, but he was at least trying to figure out if she had a good reason.
She debated telling him, just for a few seconds, confessing everything about how angry she was at her situation, how she blamed the general for everything and resented his happiness at the expense of her own. It would be sharing too much of herself to admit that, so she just shook her head stubbornly and refused to answer the question.
They tried to get through to her a few more times, but she wasn't letting them in. It escalated into an argument and Silla's legendary stubbornness came into play. Her Masters had had some sympathy for her in the beginning, but as the overreaction continued and she began snapping every rude thing she could think of at them, they both stopped coaxing and started growling.
Sadecs didn't argue with their humans. The fact that they even lasted that long was a testament to how worried they'd been about her mood and happiness, but that was only going to go on for so long. Nikon finally grew tired of the circular debate. He grabbed her wrist, yanking as he sat down, and pulled her right across his lap.
"Fine, Silla. Be stubborn all you like, but we're not going to put up with the insolence." He ignored everything she said after that, and by the time he'd wrestled her pants off, Era'D had retrieved a wide strap from the sleeping room. He made sure she saw it as he passed it over to Nikon, but she wasn't going to give in just because of pain, and they all knew it.
"You have one last chance to make this easy on yourself, Silla. You only need to attend the ceremony. It will be very short, and as soon as they leave, you can go," Era'D said.
"I'm not going. If you try to make me, you'll have to drag me in kicking and screaming. Pretty sure it's going to look worse if they have to stop the ceremony because I'm yelling!" At least she'd managed to keep her voice sounding cold and not whiny, and they were both silent as they considered it.
"She's right," Nikon admitted reluctantly. "We can drag her there, but in the mood she's in, she'll just make a scene."
"We can't let her get away with this behavior. If she had an issue, it would be one thing, but she won't talk to us and won't obey us. We can't let this stand," his brother said.
"No." Nikon's hand came to rest on her bare ass instead of spanking her. He sighed. "What do you suggest then?"
Era'D was quiet for a moment and then, "We'll put her on display for the length of the ceremony and the festivities afterward. We should restrict her pleasure. She doesn't deserve release after behavior like this."
Her mouth went dry and her back stiffened. "No…" It was a whisper so low, neither heard it. She'd promised herself never to be put on display again. As much as she'd enjoyed parts of it, the whole thing had been too much for her to ever want to experience it a second time. And at least, the last time, there'd been plenty of pleasure and orgasms to get her through the worst parts.
Worse, would be knowing that Kenzi and the general would know why she was being punished— people were always told the reasons for the public disgrace.
But she was left without any good choices, reminded once again that she was a slave serving at the will of her sadistic alien Masters. Though, she couldn't really blame them for this. She knew that if she backed down and explained, even now, they would probably forgive her and reduce the punishment, but her pride got in her way.
It stuck in her throat like a burr and kept her from talking to them even though she wanted to. It was her ego, and she wrapped it around herself like a shield. It told her she had to put up a strong, cold front and accept the punishment as though she didn't care what they did to her. The disappointed looks hurt, but she stuck to her refusal, and finally, they left her to stew while they discussed how to arrange the punishment.
The decision they eventually reached was that she would be left alone in their quarters while they went to the ceremony, and then one of them would come back and escort her to the dining hall for display. She just shrugged when they told her, and after a minute of waiting for more of a response, they gave up. She was released without the strapping she'd been expecting, and they left.
Silla was glad for the alone time. She hated crying. Sure, maybe a few tears from an especially frustrating or painful session would escape—but as far as emotional crying, she preferred to keep that shut down. The next best thing was to cry alone so no one knew, and once they were gone, she gave in to the overwhelming need to sob.
She hadn't let go like that since the first week she'd been on
board. Unfortunately, once she got started, she couldn't stop. She wasn't paying attention to the time passing, and the ceremony was shorter than she'd expected. When Era'D returned to fetch her, she was still sitting on the floor, cross-legged and hunched over, crying. The cycling sound of the door warned her, and she tried to cut off the waterworks, but she couldn't get her mask back in place fast enough—too many emotions had been held back for too long.
Era'D stopped and stared at her in surprise. Maybe he was finally realizing that it wasn't just Silla's normal stubbornness or some petty jealousy, because he sat down beside her, and after a hesitation, he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her.
Silla normally tried to squirm away from that kind of closeness, but this time she just gave up and slumped against his chest.
"You're not happy, pet, and I don't know how to help," he said in a quiet voice against her ear.
The words spilled out before she could stop them. "I miss him. I miss Trev. I know he's just an outcast to all of you, but I loved him. I still love him. I tried really hard not to, but I do." It was the first time she'd said those words out loud in the two and a half years she'd been on the ship.
Era'D sighed and smoothed her hair down in a gentle gesture. "I'm sorry, Silla."
And she believed him. She could hear the deep tones of regret in his voice, but she also knew there was nothing he could do. She took a deep breath, struggling to pull herself back together as she nodded. And then, when she was able to get the tears under control finally, she slid out of his lap.
"I shouldn't take it out on you. You and Nik have been wonderful—kinder than I deserve most of the time. It's just…" She trailed off because he knew the problem now. She thought he might ask what any of it had to do with the general and his new mate, but he didn't. It probably wasn't too hard to figure out anyway.