by Kent, Rina
If this is the last smoke he’ll have, then I’ll let him burn me.
We doze off on that kiss, still wrapped around each other.
When it gets cold, Levi pulls a nearby blanket and covers us with it.
A rustle of noises wakes me up from my peaceful sleep.
“Levi…?” I ask.
“Hmm?” He asks sleepily, burying his nose in my hair.
“Is someone there?” I open my eyes to be greeted by a man who looks like the older version of Aiden scowling at us.
My heart falls to the ground when I make out the other man standing beside him.
“Astrid Elizabeth Clifford. Get up from there now.”
38
Astrid
When something goes to hell, everything else does.
* * *
Dad.
Holy shit. It’s my dad.
I curl into Levi’s side, bringing the sheet to my chin.
My face heats so hard and I cease to breathe.
“Levi and trouble,” Aiden’s older version says. “Why am I not surprised at all?”
Levi shields me behind him as he stands in his full naked glory, not caring about the two adults throwing daggers in his face.
He takes his time in pulling his boxer briefs up his legs as I fumble to find the T-shirt and throw it over my head.
My eyes remain bowed, scared to look Dad in the eyes.
I’ll probably never be able to look him in the eyes ever again.
I’ve been a virgin for life and when I finally do have sex, Dad walks in on me.
Worst luck ever.
“What gives, Jonathan?” Levi’s voice is bored, the total opposite of my chaotic insides. “I didn’t know you had voyeurism tendencies.”
“Levi… ” Jonathan warns.
“Even your nephew doesn’t respect you,” Dad speaks under his breath in Jonathan King’s direction.
The Jonathan King. Owner of the King Enterprises and Dad’s archenemy of sorts.
“Get away from my daughter. Now.” I flinch at the authority in Dad’s voice.
“Come here, Levi.” Jonathan is deadly calm with one of his hands in his pockets.
It’s frighteningly similar to Aiden’s lethal, poker face.
Levi tilts his head to the side, “Pass.”
“Come here or everything ends.” Jonathan pauses and some sort of a battle erupts between him and his nephew. “Everything, Levi.”
His jaw clenches, but he doesn’t move. Not an inch. Even though I don’t know what Jonathan’s talking about, something tells me it’s not in Levi’s favour.
“Astrid.” Dad’s sharp voice causes my shoulders to snap upright.
I push my hair back as I stumble to my feet. The T-shirt reaches the middle of my thighs, but I still tug down on it.
Those pale blue eyes clash with mine for a brief second and I offer him an encouraging smile. His fingers brush against my arm before I drop my head and trudge to Dad’s side.
As soon as I’m within touching distance, Dad grips my arm and cages me behind him.
“This is the last time I see a Clifford on my property,” Jonathan glares down at Dad and he glares back.
A more ferocious battle than the one from earlier erupts between them and I swallow at the thick tension in the air.
“Keep your spawn away from my daughter.” Dad drags me away from the house before I can throw one last glance at Levi.
As soon as we’re outside, I stop, trying to pull Dad into a halt. “Are they fighting? Can’t you stop them?”
“We have no place in familial matters.”
“But isn’t those familial matters how you found me?”
“I had a very unpleasant call from Jonathan while I was searching for you. He told me that my daughter could be with his nephew.”
I’m so ashamed, but it’s not what’s pushing me right now. My heartbeat thunders in my ears as I strain to hear what’s going on inside. What if Jonathan beats Levi?
“But Dad, he —”
“It’s Father!” He shouts, drawing me to a halt near his car. “How many times do I tell you to call me Father? I gave you two rules. Two simple rules. Don’t sully the Clifford name and stay away from the King’s surname. You broke both of them in one day. Both. Every time I think I’m getting to you, it spirals out of control all over again. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you anymore, Astrid.”
Tears fill my eyes and I try to fight them away as I take the onslaught of Dad’s words. It’s like I’m in the presence of a stranger, not someone who’s supposed to be the closest person to me.
“I didn’t ask for this either. I didn’t want to live with you and your stupid family. I didn’t want to be shackled by rules and manners. I didn’t want to sneak out every day so I won’t be forced into a breakfast with your wife who insults me and my mother the entire time. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that you always take her side. Mum would’ve never done that, Mum would’ve heard me out. Mum stayed when you abandoned us. I wish it was you who died that day, not her.”
I regret the words as soon as they come out. My lips tremble as Dad’s face turns stone cold.
“I… I—”
He releases me as if I were on fire. “Get in the car.”
“D-Dad… I… I didn’t me—”
“Get in the car, Astrid.”
I flinch at his non-negotiable tone and hurry to the passenger seat. I sniffle and wipe my eyes, fighting the onslaught of emotions coursing through me.
When Dad takes his seat and doesn’t spare me a glance, I know, I just know that I screwed up any chance I had with him.
If Dad hated me before, then now, he simply didn’t care about me anymore.
39
Levi
Our calm is only a delusion to the storm.
* * *
I watch Astrid being dragged out. The only thing stopping me from snatching her from her father is her own sake.
If I act on what I want, she might end up in more trouble than she already is with her father. Despite her reservations about him, she looks up at him like he’s God.
Or maybe I didn’t interfere because I’m a coward who doesn’t want to see her choose him over me.
I face Jonathan, making sure he sees the tension radiating off my body. This one has his schemes written all over it.
He’s wearing a dark brown Italian suit all complete with Italian leather shoes. Handmade. One of a kind. Just for him.
Jonathan likes to believe the world revolves around him. And why wouldn’t he when everything he wants whirls in his orbit?
His hair is slicked back and he has the usual indifferent expression that Aiden inherited.
“How did you find me?”
“You thought I didn’t know about your little hideout?” He throws a glance around the place with disregard before his metal eyes slide back to me. “I told you. You only exist because I allow it.”
Although a thousand retorts fight to break free, I reign them in. I lived with Jonathan long enough to recognise his provocations.
He feeds off anger. Now, I realise that I’ve been treating it all wrong.
I’ve been playing in the devil’s hands and pretending to be above him.
“See, patterns are my forte, and I knew you’d fuck up at some point. It’s written in your DNA. One mistake, Levi. I gave you the right to one mistake and it had to be a Clifford.” He pronounces the name with disgust as if he doesn’t want to say it.
“She has nothing to do with this.”
He raises an eyebrow, and I curse myself for wording it that way. Fuck. I just gave him the reaction he needs.
“I see.” Jonathan approaches with steady steps, his shoes are the only sound in the house. “This isn’t a meaningless fling to rebel against me. That’s… interesting.”
“If you have a problem, then you have it with me,” I snarl in his face. “Stay the hell away from her.”
“I don’t hav
e to approach her. Her father will be more than enough to put her back where she belongs.” His calm expression morphs to sheer hatred. “Far the fuck away from the King name.”
I pause. It’s the first time I see Jonathan showing such great hatred to anyone. He believes emotions such as hatred, revenge and holding grudges are a waste of time and energy.
Lord Clifford must’ve done something unforgivable to elicit unschooled hatred from Jonathan.
“You recognise that this is your fall, right?” Jonathan stares down at me with that usual ‘you’re a rock in my shoe’ look. “Are you ready for seven years in my company? No more football or your little escapades.”
My jaw clenches so hard, I’m surprised it doesn’t snap.
The moment I always dreaded has come.
My football dream is withering away right in front of my fucking eyes.
It’s at moments like these that people start regretting what they did.
I don’t.
If I get to repeat last night and today with Astrid, I’d do it all over again.
“I assume you’re not ready.” Jonathan shakes his head with what looks like exasperation. “You’re persistently defiant like your father.”
“Is this the part where you tell me I’ll become crazy like him?”
“James was not crazy.” Jonathan’s face and voice turn stone cold. “He had mental issues, but he wasn’t deranged. He did everything for you, ungrateful brat.”
My mouth parts. Did Jonathan just defend my father?
“I’ll give you one more chance and you better seize it because I don’t give second chances.”
He waits for me to release my clenched fist before he speaks again. “You’ll stay away from Clifford’s daughter. They’re not allowed near our family.”
“Why?”
“You don’t want to know that.”
“I’ll be the one to decide.”
“You won’t like the outcome, punk.”
“You’re good with patterns, aren’t you, Jonathan? Tell me what happens if I know.”
Silence stakes claim in the lounge area as he squints.
“Very well.” He unbuttons his jacket and sits down on the chair at the head of le salon. He always chooses dominant positions even when he sits.
“If you know the reason, it’ll break you both. You’ll hate yourself then you’ll hate her and then you’ll hate the day you ever got near her, talked her, or touched her. You’ll spiral in your speedy mode and do something reckless and impulsive, and I’ll have to get you out of it. Then, you’ll have to pay your debt to me which will give me the chance to dictate your life.” He crosses his arms over his stomach. “So by all means, if you want to be stubborn and search for the reason, then go right ahead. Give me the chance I’ve been pining for.”
I want to call him a liar and tell him that nothing will break me from Astrid.
That he can’t manipulate us into being apart.
But this is Jonathan King.
He didn’t lie when he said he’s good with patterns. He has a knack to see the future before it happens. That’s why he scores so many successful deals.
Still, I refuse to believe him.
If he could predict the future, why didn’t he use it to save his own brother?
I sit across from him, my shoulders crowding with tension. “Tell me.”
“I knew you would insist.” His voice drops to a murmur as if he’s speaking to himself. “James’ stubbornness. I swear.”
Then he starts talking, and with every word he says, something inside me fucking dies.
Jonathan was right. I should’ve never known about this.
40
Astrid
I never got a warning when I was crushed by you.
* * *
I couldn’t sleep.
I called Levi, but his phone was turned off. Gloomy thoughts ran rampant in my head all night, spiralling out of control and hitting me in the chest.
What if his uncle hurt him?
What if he needs help?
I’m probably being a tad more dramatic than usual, but their postures screamed a fight yesterday, not to mention that Jonathan King seemed scary. No wonder he’s Aiden’s father and Levi’s uncle. It runs in the family.
Come morning, I rush down the stairs with my backpack over my shoulder. Sarah calls after me to eat something, but I don’t stop.
I’m running down our driveway when the sound of an engine penetrates my ears. I freeze and stare at the blinding lights from the car.
Everything stops.
My heart.
My breathing.
All of it.
I’m plucked from the present and thrown back in time.
* * *
Darkness surrounds me and rain beats down on me like a vengeful creature. Small whimpers of pain fill my senses like the gurgling of the dead.
I’m lying sideways, half of me outside the car’s window. The other half lies on the passenger seat.
A sob catches in my throat when I glance to my side. I know what I’ll find, but it does nothing to prepare me for the shock of what’s to come.
Blood covers Mum’s chest that’s stopped rising and falling. Her eyelids are closed as if she’s asleep.
Only she’s not.
“No… no… M-Mum… no… please,” I try to crawl to her, but something hard and cold scrapes my side.
The whimpering continues. I look down at myself expecting it to be my voice, but it isn’t.
A bloodied hand grabs my ankle.
* * *
I shriek and fall back on my arse.
I’m back in Dad’s house.
A Mercedes that I’ve never seen before stays unmoving. Nicole is in the driver’s seat, glaring down at me after she almost hit me.
I stand on unsteady feet, my breathing rushing out of my lungs in a frenzy.
My chest rises and falls so hard, it’s like I’m about to faint or have a heart attack.
“Watch where you’re going,” She snarls as the car passes me. “This isn’t over.”
I’m not focusing on what she’s saying. I hear her. I see her. But it’s like I’m caught in an experience out of my own skin.
“Are you okay, honey?” Sarah runs towards me and checks me out.
“I’m… fine.” I think. I turn back around to watch the Mercedes exiting the house. It seems super familiar, but where have I seen it?
“Did Nicole change cars?”
“Oh, that.” Sarah dusts off my uniform as I watch where the car disappeared to with stupor. “It’s an old one, always huddled in the garage. Miss Nicole wanted some changes made to her car so she’s using that car temporarily. It hasn’t been out from the garage in years, I’m surprised it still works.”
Dad must’ve came in it when he used to visit us. That’s why it seemed familiar.
“Is something wrong?” Sarah asks.
I shake my head even though something does feel wrong.
I’m on autopilot as I walk outside. I keep staring at my ankle as if that bloodied hand will imprison me again.
It’s not real. It can’t be.
But Dad said there was someone else. Am I remembering them now? Is that the reason behind the bloodied hand?
I need some psychological talk with Dr Edmonds.
Since I’m eighteen, I don’t need Dad’s permission.
A wave of sadness takes over me as I throw one last glance at the house and Dad’s car waiting outside.
Yesterday, he didn’t drive straight home. He took me to the doctor for the morning after pill and a contraceptive shot. I tried telling him that I used protection, but it’s like my tongue was tied.
I felt more ashamed in that moment than when he walked in on me wrapped all around Levi.
On the way home, he didn’t speak a word to me.
For the first night since Mum’s death, Dad didn’t come to wish me goodnight. I waited and waited and waited, but he never showed up.
I
was too cowardly to go and apologise because if he shut me out this time, I don’t know if I’d be able to pick up my pieces again.
Outside, Dan’s car is parked right beside Nicole’s.
He has his forearm against the hood of her car with his entire body leaning against her window.
There’s an unusual tension in his shoulders as he talks in rapid-fire. It’s too far for me to hear what he’s saying. Nicole stares at him with wild eyes and parted lips.
She looks on the verge of… crying?
Her blurry gaze meets mine and she swivels the wheel and speeds ahead. Dan stumbles back, cursing.
For the love of Vikings. Is Nicole trying to kill someone with her car today?
I fasten my pace towards Dan. “What the hell was that all about?”
“Nicole being a bitch as usual.” He runs a frantic hand over his face. When he turns around, he appears less agitated. “How are you feeling? Better?”
I might have spent two hours on facetime with Dan last night. I had to vent about it all to my best friend.
“No.” My voice catches. “Dad isn’t speaking to me.”
“Come here.” Dan wraps me in a hug and I fight the tears as I wrap my arms around his back.
“Don’t you hate me for bailing on you and leaving with Levi?”
“Bugger, I bail on you for shags all the time. That was nothing.”
“Really?”
“Really. You’re finally not a virgin so I don’t have to shoo away all those who planned to sacrifice you for Satan.”
I laugh as I pull away. “You’re not going to judge me?”
“What’s there to judge?” Dan grins, showing his dimple. “Besides, in the best friends manual, it says in bold capital letters that best friends aren’t allowed to be judgy little bitches.”
“What manual?”
“I’m sure it exists somewhere.”
“I’m surprised you read any manual that isn’t a porn magazine.”
“I know, right? Aren’t you happy I’m your best friend?”
