“Outta gas?” Ralm quipped. “You have the imagination, but you don’t have the knowledge, fake elf.”
He shifted one arm into a blue serpent and drank in the water created by Eric’s attack. “Thanks for the ammo.” He pointed the dragon head and fired a veritable cannon at the breathless Eric. It knocked him over with its force. Now he was bent over, shirtless and glistening with water.
“This isn’t fair...” Nilo grumbled. “Annala’s having all the fun...” Eric took a deep breath and fired a tremendous stream of fire at Ralm, catching him by surprise and engulfing him. Then Eric threw a snowball at him. Ralm was so dazed from the attack he fell backwards, into another puddle. “Thank you.” Nilo leered.
Standing up, the two combatants faced each other and simultaneously charged. Upon collision, they grappled. They fell to the ground and punched, kicked, and thrashed with their respective chaos seeds healing each bruise and blemish as it came. They rolled right by the girls.
“Huh,” Nilo thought aloud, “Eric’s actually kinda cute.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Annala said proudly.
“Ralm’s cuter.”
Annala sighed. “You have a point...But Master Eric can read the Strangesity with me.”
“Ralm made me a birdhouse.”
“Master Eric—”
“Quiet!” Kallen said. “The judge says ‘quiet.’ The wrestling is over.”
Ralm had broken away from Eric and thrown his arms to the sky. They grew longer as he himself grew bigger. His skin became steel to coat himself in flexible plate mail while spikes jutted out at his wrists and neck and shoulders and kneecaps. A great golden circle sprouted from his back and attached to his shoulder and hip joints, and forming a crest with eleven interlocking lines across the center. On his helmet, eleven horns grew from the same base. At last, he stood before Eric as a ten-foot-tall knight.
“What, no horse?”
Ralm’s backside extended a good five feet. Two more iron clad and spiked limbs grew from his new haunches and a leather tail poked out of his rear. The chivalric centaur reared and stomped the ground.
“I had to ask...”
Eric jumped backwards on kangaroo legs, then crouched and jumped forwards to kick. Ralm dodged with ease. Now that Eric was open, he thrust to his chest. Eric could not dodge and the lance’s point hit home.
It bent on grendel skin. Eric grabbed it with one grendel hand and slugged Ralm with the other. The centaur went down, but when Eric pressed his advantage, he was catapulted into the air. Ralm had shifted into a steam dragon and fired a spring-loaded scale at his stomach. The grendel reached the apex of his arc and then fell back to earth.
As he plummeted, he sprouted leathery wings and glided to safety. His body mass expanded, scales crawling over him as he grew in size. He threw his head forward and his neck elongated, scales following it until they encompassed his head. Four horns sprouted from his head with a fifth one in their center. The pattern repeated itself on his arms. His nails became thicker and sharper and a pattern arranged itself on the back of his palms: a dragon standing guard in a cavern. This pattern appeared etched large on his chest. His wings had grown huge to compensate for his increased weight. Their span was four times as long as his body. Flapping them to remain aloft, he hovered before his opponent and roared.
Ralm laughed. He laughed so hard he fell over. Eric raised an eyebrow as the steam dragon laughed himself silly. Then he looked down at himself and could have died of embarrassment. He had indeed transformed into a dragon but not the one he imagined.
First of all, he wasn’t nearly as big as he intended. Second, the noble image of the Dragon’s Lair was distorted into a lizard taking a piss. Finally, instead of five horns arranged in a pattern, he had five stubs placed randomly, like bony pimples.
“Yet another mistake from the fake!” Ralm taunted. “Normal elves can’t emulate full-sized dragons. It takes practice to create complicated forms.” Ralm exhaled steam. “And those scales...Good luck ever getting those right.” Eric sank in shame. “Let me show you how it’s done!”
What Ralm turned into was so small Eric could easily crush him in the palm of his claw, yet before he could try, the thing emitted a high-pitched scream. It resonated in Eric’s bones and echoed in his skull. His eyes crossed, his muscles relaxed, and he created enough manure for a pasture. At last, the note shut down his mind and he dropped out the sky. He crashed into the ground in a jumble of scales and golden-brown light, mercifully away from the dung pile. There he shrank and resumed human form. Annala dashed to his side.
“Master Eric, are you okay?” she asked as she placed his head in her lap. “Say something!”
“I’m hungry,” Eric mumbled. “Where’d the sock go?”
Annala smiled fondly and ran her fingers through his hair.
Ralm resumed his true form, fist pumped, and Nilo gave him a congratulatory kiss.
“Brilliant!” a voice shouted. “Magnificent!”
It was the actor trickster and he was standing at the edge of the stage. “This battle and its conclusion have inspired me!” His muses handed him pen and paper and he scribbled furiously. “Tomorrow’s performance shall be the greatest production of the origin of elves SINCE THE ORIGIN ITSELF! In fact...”
He cast his gaze over The Trickster’s Chosen and their sister/girlfriend. An uncharacteristically sinister expression broke out over his face.
“It might be a new origin. I can see it now...A new origin, a new race, a new era. It will be a fantastic time to be a playwright!”
Chapter 2 The Festival of Arin’s Ascension
Eric had troubled falling asleep that night, the eve of the festival. He hadn’t celebrated any winter holiday with any family in over a decade. It made him nostalgic and, for once, the memories were happy.
He remembered his mom and dad and his big brother; all four of them together. His brother had a tradition of giving Eric a trick present, followed by a thoughtful one. He fell for it every time. Even when he tried to outsmart his brother, he still fell for it.
Maybe next time, Eric, his brother would say.
Maybe sooner, Eric would say back.
Instead of discouraging them, their parents laughed at the exchange of pranks. It was a fun little game between brothers, and one he deeply missed. He tossed and turned in his blankets. What happened to them was the reason he was so eager to steal a necrotic podesta from Reno Grade, which had started his current reaper trouble.
He rolled over. The important thing is that I’m about to go to a festival with my girlfriend and her family...His face burned as a thought came to him. ...They might eventually be my family...With that thought, he fell asleep.
“Wake up, master. Ascension Day has begun.”
Eric opened his eyes to see the love of his life at his bedside. She was wearing a maid outfit and carrying a tray in her hands. It was loaded with pancakes, bacon, strawberries, and a glass of orange juice.
“Good morning, Master Eric,” she said with a bright smile.
Why do I want the collar off again? He shook the thought out of his head. I’m not like Tahart, that’s why.
“Good morning, Annala.” He tossed aside the covers and slipped out of bed. “Thank you for bringing that here, but I don’t want breakfast in bed.”
She hurriedly put the tray on a desk and returned to attention.
“I’m sorry, Master Eric. Did you want a shower instead?”
“No, not right now.”
Her face colored and she tugged on one ear while averting her face. Eric found the image irresistibly appealing.
“Then…I suppose you want….me?”
Eric’s pupils slit as desire gripped him. While he looked human at the moment, his true nature was that of a sapient monster. It had simple desires: eat and reproduce. The lovely elf and her offering satisfied both. His instincts demanded that he throw her to the bed, rip her clothes off, and ravage her senseless.
He took a breath
and recited a poem Kallen had taught him. His human memories told him to keep it in his pants, and it was by his human memories that he interpreted the world. Self-control made him a demon instead of a monster. He could afford to wait a little longer. Once she was free of the collar, he could consider such things.
“On second thought, a shower sounds nice. A cold one, perhaps arctic.”
Annala’s shoulders bunched and her eyes became moist.
“Don’t give me that look. Grendels enjoy cold temperatures.”
Nunnal, Ponix, and Forge were already seated when he came down. Stacks of pancakes sat in the center, surrounded by butter, syrup, and many kinds of fruit. Thick slices of bacon, sausage, and glasses of orange juice sat next to them. Eric paused to rub his eyes.
“Something wrong, master?” Annala asked.
“No... just remembering.”
The stacks reached the ceiling and more were on the kitchen counter. Likewise, there were gallon jugs of orange juice and syrup along with buckets of butter, bacon, and fruit. The Enaz clan was gathering and there must be enough for everyone.
The Festival of Arin’s Ascension was the holiest of elven holy days. No matter where they were in the world or what they were doing, elves returned to their home villages to celebrate it with their families. Any time now, the room would fill up. This worried Eric.
Between his status as a “fake elf” and his association with Dengel, they had plenty of reason to dislike him. More than himself, he was concerned for Annala. She was human now and wore Order’s domination on her neck. If they were as understanding as Meza, then a fight would break out.
The ground beneath their feet began to shake. Annala grabbed Eric’s arm as the shaking increased. The floor strained and broke as a mound of earth poked through and finally burst. Dirt scattered in all directions, but magical wards prevented it from landing in the food. Eric trained his staff on the hole. A head popped out.
“Might this be the residence of the Enaz family?”
“Uncle Felix!” Annala cried.
She glomped him before he was fully out of his hole. This left him half in, half out, and pinned by his niece. He shot out with a silent Air Jump and gave her a mighty hug.
He was a grown man with extremely pale skin. Eric would have thought him albino if he were human. His golden-brown hair was cropped close under his hard hat, practically hidden. His pointed ears were pulled flush against it. Beneath the helmet were goggles complete with headlights. He wore full body denim overalls and full body thermal underwear underneath. Over his waist was a satchel. Everything about him was smudged with soil from his dirty hobby.
“How’s the most amazing niece in the…Dear Trickster! Nunnal wasn’t kidding!”
He immediately let go and pulled down his goggles. Their magical runes magnified her skin a hundred fold and then a thousand. He scanned everywhere and, while he saw dying cells, he didn’t see any bruising.
“Oh good. I was afraid I hurt you with the hug.”
Annala tugged on one ear. “Do I…are you upset?”
Felix hugged her a second time, and this time as gently as he would an Anich doll. He patted her stark white hair and said, “Of course not. The Elven Tome says that the body is an illusion. You could be stuck as an orc and you’d still be the most amazing niece in the world.”
Annala nuzzled. “Thanks, Uncle Felix. Oh!” She gestured. “This is Eric, my—”
“Trickster’s Choice!” He grabbed Eric’s hand and shook it. “I’ve been wanting to meet you since I heard about that commotion underground with the princess!”
“Uh...The pleasure’s all mine…” Eric said, putting his staff away.
The doorbell rang and Nunnal called them in. It was Alexis from the Guardian’s Lodge and she looked to be in better spirits than usual. A hint to the reason why was the flower in her hair. Instead of carrying a sword, she held bottles of salad dressing and hot sauce. She grinned when Felix tried to hide his hole.
“Baby Brother, why don’t you turn into a mole and be done with it?”
“I would, Big Sister,” Felix replied, “but then I couldn’t do this!” He stuck his finger in his mouth and pounced. She grabbed the offending hand and used it to put him in a headlock, where she delivered the Heavenly Noogie of Sisterly Affection, much to his chagrin. Annala shook her head at their immaturity, though a few giggles escaped.
“I’m glad you could come, Aunt Alexis.”
“Nunnal assured the Supreme Council that the village would be safe for today. It’s the only reason all the guardians aren’t on patrol right now.” Alexis pointed a bottle at her sister as if it were a sword. “That’s a dangerous amount of pull for one individual.”
“Stop accusing me of corruption, Priori Guardian, and eat these chocolate chip pancakes I made just for you.”
She held up the plate as if in offering. Alexis ruffled Annala’s hair on her way to collect it. Despite the tranquil image, Eric picked up killing intent in her presence. It was as though she blamed Nunnal for the recent attack. Eric and Nunnal both knew such blame was justified.
Nunnal was indeed responsible. She told Order the village’s location and lowered its defenses so Order could send the ordercrafter Nulso and hundreds of enforcers to invade it. However, she did so in order to kill Nulso and the enforcers, free hundreds of elves, and make the village forever safe by forcing the Spirit of Honesty to swear to never attack again. Despite this success, she doubted her decision. Thus the special pancakes were only the start.
A poof of displaced air made their ears pop and suddenly another elf was standing in the Enaz kitchen, looking confused. Then her eyes landed on Annala and she smiled triumphantly.
“A HA! This is the right place! That old fuddy-duddy thought I’d get lost.”
Annala jumped to hug her. “Great-Grandma Mildred!”
A portly woman, Annala could scarcely stretch her arms around Mildred’s waist. Hanging from various loops in her clothing, ears, and hair were knickknacks from every country in the world. Some of them looked to be from another world. Before now, Eric had only seen her style of dress and hair in historical textbooks.
“Hello, sweetheart,” she said while returning the hug. “Don’t you worry about this dreadful condition of yours. When I find the skin-shedding human scum who did this to you, I’ll show him what for!”
“Great-Grandma, he’s already dead,” Annala said.
“He is?”
“Yes, Master Eric and Kallen vaporized him with Chaotic Starlight.”
With hawk-like eyes, Mildred scanned the room. “Where is this Master Eric?”
Forge stood up and pointed at Eric with both hands. Nunnal sent him a disapproving glance, and he sat down. Before anyone else could say a word, Eric said, “It’s only temporary. Nunnal has a plan to get the collar off.”
The old elf turned her suspicious eyes on her granddaughter. “You do? If Tasio can’t remove it without hurting the poor girl, what makes you think a child like yourself can do so?”
“Grandmother, I’m over six hundred years old and the director of the local R&D. You could stand to show me a little respect when you’re a guest in my home.”
“Don’t take that tone with me, whippersnapper! When I was your age—”
Nunnal was no longer listening. Instead, she was dressing her pancakes. “You had the same conversion with your grandmother.”
“Where’s Great-Grandpa Ferdinand?” Forge asked.
Immediately, the old woman was all smiles. “He thought I’d botch the teleportation spell, so he constructed his own.” She chuckled. “He’s probably on the moon right now...”
A pop of displaced air burst over the table and an elf fell on it. A ward sprang into place and he rolled to the floor instead. He was short, overweight, and covered in souvenirs, like Mildred, and his hair was combed over in four directions. Mildred made a crack about his eating habits and he retorted with a crack at her hair. They apologized simultaneously.
; Again, the doorbell rang. Nunnal called them in and nine rugrats flooded the kitchen. Their energy and acrobatics defied the attempts of three haggard adults to herd them. Eric asked Annala a silent question.
“Threesome and all three had triplets.”
“Ohhh...”
More relatives filtered in, but Annala’s grandparents (Nunnal’s parents) never arrived. Given the Seed of Chaos granted immortality and the importance of this holy day, there were at least three possibilities: estrangement, enslavement, or insanity. In all three cases, his human memories told him to keep quiet about it. Instead, he asked about more distant relatives. This brought their attention to him.
He was formally introduced to everyone and it didn’t turn out as bad as he feared it would. No one held him responsible for hosting Dengel, and when they heard of his care of Annala along with how he was assisting with the collar’s removal, they didn’t hold his “master” title against him either. Even so, some of the older ones scowled at him. They were veterans of the Conversion War and recalled people like him and how they turned out.
The extended family gathered around the kitchen table laden with food; Eric noticed the room stretching every time someone new arrived. Now that they knew Annala would be okay, they caught up with each other. There were many hugs and back slaps, exchanges of tales and inside jokes. Eric could feel the familial happiness filling up the room because he was part of it. More relatives arrived and added to the atmosphere. It was a sea of golden-brown hair, but the last one to step through the doorway had green.
Born Kallen Selios, her legal name was now Kallen Enaz as the adoptive daughter of Nunnal and Ponix. Mildred and Ferdinand sniffed at her presence, but the others greeted her warmly. When she pulled Forge into a noogie, Alexis gave her pointers.
With the whole family gathered, they moved to the dining room. Eric knew better, but he still gaped at the size of it. This room’s interior was bigger than the circumference of the tree housing it. Zerofinite technology, developed by R&D labs like Nunnal’s Hariana Inquires, made it bigger on the inside. Thanks to it, the large family could take their seats at a single table.
Transcending Limitations Page 4
