by Londyn Skye
When James finally released her, Lily thanked him for the gift that he had placed at her bedside: a book that she was eager to hear. The pair sat shoulder to shoulder under their childhood tree as James read it aloud. The story instantly became Lily’s favorite. The magnificent ending brought joyous tears to her eyes. It was those very tears that eventually brought forth James’s desire to teach Lily to read. He wanted his gift to be the first book Lily was ever able to read to herself.
… After losing herself in that memory in the back of the wagon, Lily’s emotions from that day were fresh again. During all the years that James was away, she had been able to repress all the feelings and memories associated with him. Now that he was back, though, it was all resurfacing again. It was crushing her to accept that those beautiful memories, and that wonderful man, were all in her past. She angrily wiped her tears away knowing that their relationship would likely remain severed, no matter how hard she prayed for things to be different.
Despite the onslaught of joyous childhood memories resurfacing, Lily refused to reminisce with James about any of it during their journey. In fact, she was happy with their limited interaction. They had simple conversations about food, water, and breaks to relieve themselves, but both seemed reluctant to say anything beyond that. Lily even chose to eat inside the covered wagon instead of taking the opportunity to sit in the warmth of the sunlight near her nemesis. She wanted to avoid looking at James for any unnecessary amount of time; the sight of him tended to destroy her appetite. It did not seem to make much difference to James either. They both seemed content with the distance and silence, two things that would have been inconceivable between them eight years prior.
After sleeping through a rather mild winter night, the pair proceeded on in the second day of their journey, much like the first … in silence. Aside from a brief break for snacks, they rode steadily for a few hours until the sun was high in the clear blue sky. The beautiful conditions brought an unseasonable warmth to the winter day. It made a body of running creek water look inviting to James. Lily suddenly overheard him calling the horses to a halt. “Lily, we’re breakin’ here,” he then said.
“Yessa’,” she replied, even though she wanted to ask why they were stopping so soon. They had just eaten and relieved themselves not long before. She did not dare to step out of line by questioning him, though. Instead, she got out and found a place to relieve herself again. It was more of a way to distance herself from James than a necessity to go. When she came back, James was dropping bags onto the ground from the back of the wagon. She walked around the back to help him, but then quickly turned away when she saw that he was shirtless.
“Lily,” James called out to her before she walked away.
“Yessa’,” she replied, stopping with her back to him.
“Take this satchel.”
Lily turned back around but felt uneasy with where to place her eyes as James handed it to her. “Is there some food in here needs cookin’?” she asked, being sure to keep her eyes glued to the satchel.
“Naw, there’s soap, towels, and some otha’ things for you in there. You can use that creek ova’ yonda’ to clean up. Quicka’ you get cleaned up, quicka’ we can carry on.”
“Yessa’.”
Lily walked a long way down the stream and set the satchel on a large rock once she felt she was in a place that gave her plenty of privacy from prying eyes. She opened the bag in search of the soap and towels but sitting in plain view were new undergarments, a neatly folded dress, and a scarf that matched it. Thinking that her eyes were deceiving her, she pulled the dress out, laid it on top of a rock, and stared at it in confusion. It was not an evening gown or even a dinner dress. She was not even certain if it was brand new, but that did not matter to her. She was just happy that it was free of holes, stains, and tattered ends, like the one she had on. She then held the dress up to her body and saw that it even looked to be a perfect fit, unlike her old one. It was basic but beautiful in her eyes, so beautiful that she almost refused to believe that it was for her.
James was in the distance tending to his own bathing needs. He wanted to respect Lily’s privacy and kept his back to her for as long as he could, but his desire to glance in her direction was much stronger than he had anticipated. Discreetly, he turned toward Lily just in time to see her holding her new dress up to her body. The dress was among the many things he had picked up on his trip into town when he had run into Mary Jo. He wanted Lily to represent his father’s farm well and figured that a new dress, free from bloodstains, filth, and holes, would be beneficial to their representation … at least that’s what he told himself. After leaving Albert’s General Store, James had gone into a clothing shop and found a woman that looked to be Lily’s height and shape. He then asked what size she wore. He hoped that he had made an accurate assessment. He now stood in the creek, secretly peering at Lily, waiting impatiently to see.
Lily, however, had reluctantly put the new dress down. She was unsure why James would get her a new one but figured there was definitely some personal motive behind it. Although she appreciated it, she knew not to assume that James wanted to do something special for her. Nevertheless, she was excited to have a beautiful new piece of clothing, especially after having worn the same tattered garment for so long.
Before bathing, Lily leaned over and touched the creek water with her hand. She decided to take advantage of the rare warm day and go for a brief swim. Not wanting to put her private areas on display, she entered the water in her old dress. The chill touched her bones, but it did not deter her at all. Floating in the water reminded her of when James had taught her to swim. She suddenly found herself not wanting to rush the opportunity to enjoy the cool water while reliving that happier time in her life. She reverted to her childlike ways for a spell and began to swim around in the creek like she was ten again, not caring if her lack of urgency made James angry. She was already more than halfway to her punishment anyway and figured there was nothing worse he could ever do to her.
From the moment James had turned toward Lily, he had yet to take his eyes off her. He had mindlessly washed himself as he observed her backstroking in the water. Anger over her leisurely swim and lack of haste was not his reaction at all. He, too, was instantly reminded of their youth. As a boy, he admired how Lily was able to go from a disciplined, hard-working young woman, to a young woman with childlike playful ways and youthful silliness. Gazing at her now, he realized that she had not changed, nor did the fact that he still appreciated those beautiful qualities.
After swimming for a short while, Lily finally decided to get to the business of cleaning herself. She moved toward the shallow end of the creek to get her footing, and then unbuttoned her old dress. She slid it off her body, unknowingly revealing her bare back to James’s waiting eyes. Feeling a false sense of security, she walked toward the shore to lay her garments down and to retrieve the soap and towels. Little by little, her body emerged from the water, revealing the length of her long legs and the roundness of her buttocks. The sight of her nude body immediately cast a spell on James. He watched her in an unblinking trance. Not much detail could be seen from where he stood, but still his eyes followed Lily’s every movement back down into the water as she began to lather herself.
James’s own bathing and dressing needs instantly became irrelevant as he watched Lily. He knew where he stood with her as her master, but he was still a man. His status was not enough to stop a sudden raging desire, nor the envy he felt toward Lily’s hands as she ran them slowly over her body. Countless nights as a teenager, James had woken up with the front of his pajama pants saturated by the end result of his dreams about Lily. His body began to react to the vision of her now, just as it always did then. No matter how cold their relationship currently was, it simply could not stop those fires from raging within him again, while watching a woman whose exquisite features he had always considered as a work of art.
“Hey there!” a voice called out from behind James
that seemed to rain down from the heavens. His mind was so distracted by Lily that he had not heard a horse approaching behind him. He turned to find a sheriff glaring down at him. Luckily, James had just put on a pair of trousers that hid the truth about what was on his mind. “This here is private property. It ain’t no goddamn bathtub!” the sheriff explained.
“Sorry Sheriff, it didn’t look like it belonged to anybody.”
“Well, I’m here to tell ya’ that it belongs to the Blacksmith family, so I suggest you load up y’ur wagon and be on y’ur way, if you don’t want no trouble.” Lily was so far down the creek that she did not hear any of what was going on. She was still diligently bathing herself when the sheriff caught sight of her movement in the distance. “She with you?” he asked James.
“Yessa’, she is.”
“She a nigga’? I can’t hardly tell from here.”
James felt the heat in his blood start to rise upon hearing the way he referred to Lily. He could not stand that word. Despite it being typical slang, he felt it was degrading. “She’s a Negro, yes,” he said, through gritted teeth.
“She y’ur slave?”
“Yessa’.”
“You carryin’ her papers?”
“Yessa’.”
“Finish gettin’ dressed and let me see ’em.”
James put on a shirt, retrieved the paperwork, and then handed it over.
The sheriff took a moment to read the documents. “Well, you and y’ur lil’ monkey need to move it along, ’fore I arrest the both of ya’,” he said, handing the forms back to James.
“LILYYY!” James called out. She turned around abruptly to find not one, but two pairs of eyes centered on her. “COME NOW! WE HAVE TO MOVE ALONG!”
“YESSA’!” she yelled back, feeling the heat of embarrassment crawling all over her. She frantically retrieved her belongings while trying to keep her body as covered as possible.
James tried to distract the unwelcomed visitor with unnecessary conversation to stop him from looking at Lily. Slave or not, Negro, Caucasian, or otherwise, he knew men would be men, and he did not like the idea of the sheriff using Lily in his fantasies, the way he looked to be doing.
After Lily had dressed and walked back to the wagon, the sheriff continued to watch as they loaded up, pretending as if he did not trust that they would move along as he had demanded. But Lily knew better. For the first time in her life, she felt the disgust of an older man conveying his desires for her with his eyes. She had not experienced such things on the Adams farm. Although Jesse was in every way an evil man, he would have never allowed such violations to take place with his most valuable slave. Slithering eyes from a repulsive man was, therefore, not something Lily was used to; it made the hair stand up on the back of her neck.
Lily was not the only one seething inside as the visual assault took place. James had tried hard to turn it off over the years, but the urge to protect Lily began to swell within him again. He had to dig deep to find the strength to keep his anger from spilling over into a physical assault that would certainly have landed him in jail. Just as Lily fought with herself to let the memories of their past subside, James, too, found himself constantly fighting to be the man his father had taught him to be. James naturally wanted to protect Lily in more ways than a typical master should. He was usually able to gain control over himself. But as the sheriff sat on his prancing horse, raping Lily with his eyes, Jesse’s teachings had become nearly impossible for James to obey. He was so irritated that his eyelids had squinted into hateful slits, and his face turned a deep shade of red. But the anger he exuded did not deter the sheriff in the least.
“What you got worth showin’ me unda’ that dress, nigga’?” the sheriff suddenly asked Lily, continuing to stare at her with his mouth open.
“Nothin’ that ain’t gonna cost you your fuckin’ eyesight!” James barked, jumping in front of Lily to block the sheriff from glaring at her any longer. Lily remained hidden behind him, feeling appreciative of his maneuver, but stunned by the fact that he would bother to come to her defense.
“Don’t you threaten me, you uppity white boy!” the sheriff bit back.
“That ain’t a threat!” James snarled.
The sheriff purposely spit near James’s foot. “Y’all move it along ’fore I arrest the both of ya’!”
When the sheriff finally left, James and Lily continued with their journey, in the silence that they had become accustomed to. As they rode away, Lily realized that the dirty old man was only the first of many who would soon look at her as an object to be used in a sexual way, be it for pleasure or financial gain. The tears began again, christening her new perfectly fitted dress, as she tried unsuccessfully to swallow that painful reality. James, too, had a difficult time accepting what had just happened, as well as his uncontrollable reaction to it. It took him hours to settle himself and put his focus back on the benefits of their journey. When he reminded himself of things to come, he instantly calmed down. A faint smile even emerged on his face. He then prompted his horses to pick up the pace to his desired destination.
* * * *
ATHENS, OHIO
James tried to reach his destination before nightfall, but darkness had long since settled in by the time he finally pulled through the decorative steel gates of Werthington Estate. In the distance, William Werthington, an older white British man with a goatee and a full head of graying hair, emerged from the front door of his massive white mansion. He stood on the porch wearing a plain gray suit, smoking a pipe, waiting for James to walk over and greet him. William had anticipated their arrival, but he had expected them much earlier in the day. James pulled up in front of the porch, climbed down, and walked up to William. “Good to see you again, Mr. Werthington,” he said, extending his hand.
“Good to see you again too. Glad you finally made it. I was starting to think maybe you’d changed your mind, or decided to take her elsewhere,” William replied, in his proper British accent as he shook James’s hand.
“No. I’m a man of my word. I wouldn’t dream of backin’ out on such a thing,” James replied. “I’m so sorry we’re late. I had to make a few more stops along the way than anticipated.”
“No need for an apology. Just glad you made it here safely.”
“Listen, Mr. Werthington…”
“William. Please call me William.”
“William, if ya’ don’t mind, I know you wanted to get things started when we got here, but it’s been a ratha’ exhaustin’ day, and…”
“Say no more. I wouldn’t dare let her jump right into things at this ungodly hour.”
“Thank you kindly, sa’. I think we could both use a little rest.”
“After two days on the road, I can certainly understand that. By the way, where is this … umm, Lily, I believe you said her name is?”
“She’s in the back ‘a the wagon, more than likely asleep.”
Lily had overheard every word of their conversation. Her body did not crave sleep; it craved death. Despite hearing that this William character had no intention of turning her into a breeding animal that night, she still sat with her knees drawn up to her chest, quivering, rocking side to side, and praying for God to make her heart stop beating right where she sat.
Lily thought that by the time she arrived, she would have gathered the strength to face the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse that was about to take place. But as soon as the wagon halted on the plantation, all she could think about was Auntie’s baby, Sarah. That one name lingering in Auntie’s demented mind was proof to Lily that this entire experience would be like infecting her brain with an incurable disease that would eat away at her sanity until the day she drew her last breath. That thought trampled Lily like wild horses, paralyzing her where she sat. She did not have the power to speak, to scream, or even to run. She just sat there like a weakened flower waiting to be destroyed by an oncoming thunderstorm.
“Lily!” James called out to her.
Crickets an
d croaking frogs were the only sounds in the air.
“Lily!” he called to her again.
Still, she did not budge.
James sheepishly turned toward William again. “Just like I thought, she’s probably asleep,” he said, feeling a little embarrassed.
“It’s quite alright. Take your time waking her and gathering your things. I’ll go check and see if Anna Mae’s got your room ready. She’s already made dinner and put it away, but I’ll have her warm it up and set it out again for the both of you.”
“That’s mighty kind of ya’. We’ll be in shortly.”
James knew that Lily was awake, but he did not want to reveal that to William. He was glad that he had gone back into the house before retrieving her. Something told him that he may not be prepared for what he was about to come face to face with. He was right. Lily still had not gathered the strength to move from her upright fetal position. Her body was shaking uncontrollably, and her eyes were glistening with moisture. When she heard footsteps approaching the back of the wagon, she prayed quietly, “Dear God, give me strength.”
“Lily,” James said, as he looked inside the wagon.
