by Londyn Skye
“Emma got up and walked away. She stood with her back to me near the fireplace and wouldn’t look at me anymore, so I knew it was something serious.
“‘Thank you, William,’ she said to me, ‘but there is no fixing this.’
“‘Why not?’ I asked. ‘Has your mother passed?’
“Emma shook her head. ‘My mother made me promise never to see her again,’ she explained.
“‘Why ever would she do such a thing?’ I wanted to know. I got up and stood near the fireplace with her, and waited patiently for her to find the courage to speak again.
“‘My mother … She was a slave,’ she hesitantly whispered in between her sniffling. ‘I’m a Negro, William,’ she boldly confessed.”
James looked at Emma’s portrait again and his eyes widened in disbelief. He initially saw nothing in her features that would have made him think twice about her race; her eyes were as blue as his. But after looking again, he finally noticed the fullness of her lips, the curl of her dark hair, and the slight olive tint in her skin, things he would never have picked up on before.
“Emma finally turned around and looked at me, and I will never forget the shame in her eyes,” William continued. “‘I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,’ I remember her saying. I think she could feel that there was something incredible between us too, and she wanted to be honest with me before things went any further.
“After her confession, Emma began to gather her things to leave. Without hesitation, I walked over and took away everything she had in her hands. I guess she was expecting that I would be upset over her secret, but her honesty and her vulnerability only drew me closer to her. After I put her belongings down, I just held her. I didn’t whisper another word. I just held her for the longest time, feeling as though my words would never have been enough for me to express that I accepted her … all of her. I wanted to do whatever it took to let her know that her confession would never stop me from feeling what I felt for her … not ever. Emma was the first and only woman I’d ever had the sort of deep connection with, and I didn’t want to lose that. So, there was no way I was willing to allow her to just walk out the door and possibly out of my life. Had she done that…” William shook his head. “There’s no doubt in my mind that I would’ve been devastated … absolutely devastated.
“Fortunately, my embrace was all it took to settle her and convince her to stay. After that, she cozied herself next to me near the fireplace again and finished telling me the story of how her and her mother were both fathered by white slave owners, and that she was considered mulatto. She even said that since she was only one-quarter Negro, some people referred to her as a quadroon, or some strange term of that nature. Anyhow, she went on to further explain that her mother had worked hard to save money while she was carrying her so that she could buy their freedom. Her mother wanted to ensure that her child never knew one minute of what it was like to be a slave nor have the savage cycle of abuse continue with her daughter. She wanted more for Emma, so much so that she had unselfishly let her go when she was eighteen and told her never to return to the city that was her home. With Emma’s fair skin, her mother knew she could easily pass as a Caucasian woman, so long as she never again claimed herself to be a part of their Negro family. Her mother wanted Emma to use the gift of her fair skin to her advantage and go on to create a better life for herself. In honor of her mother’s selfless love, Emma did just that. She got a higher education, moved to a prominent town, and soon opened the little country store where she first caught my eye.
“With all that Emma had accomplished, it may have seemed like the fortune of her physical traits were a blessing. But the secret of who she really was haunted her every day. She hated denying her family and her heritage. She hated not being able to return home and see her mother and her other family members. But she knew that’s what her mother wanted. Some days, though, she told me that she wanted to give her fancy lifestyle away just to have the honor of announcing proudly to everyone who her beloved mother really was.
“I was entranced by Emma’s story, her courage, and her strength as she spoke to me that Christmas night. In fact, we spoke until sunrise. In that time, I learned that the woman I had gotten to know for months had actually been suffering in silence without her family. But despite it, she had never once let it stop her from always being so kind to everyone or from wearing the beautiful smile that drew me to her in the first place. I also learned that she had never once let her guard down and revealed her sorrows in front of anyone, until that night in front of the fireplace … with me. It was the utmost compliment that it was me she chose to be vulnerable enough to share her pain and her secrets with. That meant I was special to her and that I was worth the risk. I felt so honored to have her trust in that way. It was one of the many things that made me fall more in love with her that Christmas night … madly in love,” William whispered, closing his eyes, forcing himself not to let his tears fall.
William pulled himself together and continued. “In the weeks that followed that Christmas evening, Emma and I were inseparable. Despite how brief our courtship was, I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this was the woman I wanted to marry. But I also knew that if people ever discovered the truth about Emma’s identity, they would view my love for her as an abomination, a sin deserving of a sentence to hell, a sin that was even punishable by law. I also knew that my music career and even my life would be at risk. Taking all that into consideration, I asked myself something … should I spend the rest of my life worrying about society’s rules and take the risk, in years to come, of lying on my death bed utterly alone, regretting every moment I spent breathing? Or was I going to lie on my death bed recalling all the beautiful memories I had created with the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, while she sits at my bedside comforting me as I take my last breath?” William turned to look at James. “My heart did not make it to the next beat before I knew the answer to that.
“So, the woman in this portrait,” William said, pointing at her, “who was she to me, you ask?” He turned back toward Emma. “She was a woman I was too stubborn to live my life without. She was a woman I was prepared to lose my career over, a woman I would not have hesitated to lose my very life over. She was my heart, my life, my soul, my inspiration, my true love … She was my beautiful wife and my very best friend,” he said, as he touched her portrait. “She died in my arms some time ago, but not before giving me two incredible sons and forty glorious years of marriage. She was everything to me, James … absolutely everything,” he said, his voice cracking. “That’s who she was to me.”
William exhaled deeply before he was able to continue. “I miss her so. Every breath I take now seems like such an insurmountable task without her.” He walked over to his desk to grab his pipe and to clear his throat, trying not to let the memory of his wife completely break him down in front of another man.
“Funny thing love, though, isn’t it?” A much lighter tone had finally returned to William’s voice. “Seems you don’t have much control over who you want to bestow it upon, do you?” he asked, as he lit a match. “Can make even the sanest man do the craziest things, I tell ya!” He put his pipe in his mouth, inhaled, and let out a puff of smoke. “I spat on society’s rules, and I must admit, I’ve never regretted it for a goddamn minute, my boy … not a single minute!” William laughed as he pat James once on the back. William then turned his head toward the door when he suddenly heard that the faint sound of Lily’s music down the hall had stopped. He took out his pocket watch and realized that he was late for a collaboration session with her. “Well now, if you’ll excuse me,” he said, patting James on the back again, “Lily awaits.” He winked and gave James a telling glance to let him know that he wanted those words to hold far deeper meaning than just their face value.
Just as William and James exited the den, Ben approached. “William, y’all have anotha’ visita’ at the front door,” he informed them.
“Who is it?�
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“Anotha’ unknown. Young lookin’ fella’. Don’t look or sound like he from ’round here eitha’. Got a funny little accent. He sho’ is mighty strange. Most folks them bandits escort to the door with them pistols look like they ’bout to mess themselves right time I open the door, but this youngun’ ain’t hardly broke a sweat yet.”
“Interesting,” William replied. Ben’s description was so intriguing that he decided to greet the mysterious young man at the front door himself.
“Ahh, Mr. Werthington! Please excuse the unannounced visit,” the young man said after William arrived at the front door. He extended his hand to shake. “I’m Landon.” He was smiling despite Samuel’s pistol near his skull.
“Pleasure to meet you,” William said, looking at him strangely as he took hold of his hand. Landon’s German accent was easily recognizable to him. Even his name sounded somewhat familiar, but William could not quite place his face. William nodded to Samuel to let him know it was okay to remove the pistol he had pressed against Landon’s skull and return to his post at the front entrance. The subtle signal wiped the giddy smile off Samuel’s toothless, dirty face.
“It’s an honor to see you again. I’ve attended quite a few of your performances as a boy,” Landon explained, once his skull was free from metal.
“Is that so?” William smiled.
“Yes, I’ve actually…”
“What can we do for you?” James rudely interjected. He was still not in the best of moods and not at all impressed by this stranger’s familiarity with William.
Landon stared at James a moment, sensing the coldness in his tone. Despite it, he pressed on with confidence. “Well, I know the two of you are probably very busy men, so I’ll get on with the reason for my visit. I’m here because I was hoping to speak to the lady of the house.”
“The lady of the house?” William questioned.
“Yes, the beautiful young lady from the show here on your plantation. Ms. Lily … Umm, I’m sorry, I wasn’t told her last name.”
“You don’t need to know her last name!” James spat. “And what do you need to speak to her for?!” There was even more ice in his tone this time. William glared coldly at him, but James ignored it and continued to stare at Landon.
Yet again, though, Landon was not rattled by James’s attitude. “Well, I was hoping to speak to her regarding her show.”
“You can speak to us about that,” James answered.
“Oh, I see. But it was my understanding that it is Lily’s show, correct?”
“Yes, that is true,” William replied.
“Well then, with all due respect to the both of you, I would much prefer to have a word with her … in private. If she doesn’t mind, of course.”
James was about to speak again, but William placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him. Landon’s desire to speak directly to Lily had piqued William’s curiosity about him even more. Normally, he would have the same skepticism and fire in his tone as James, but no other man, who had inquired about Lily, had ever bothered to consider that she was worthy of being part of the conversation. That small detail alone was enough to make William feel as though the young man deserved a chance to plead his case. Not only that, but he was also eager to figure out why his name and face seemed so familiar.
“James, go and fetch Lily, please.”
“But…”
“Have her meet us in my den.”
Lily was already preoccupied in the library with another guest who had arrived just minutes before Landon. Her unexpected visitor was the reason she had abruptly suspended the work she was doing on her new melody. He had walked in quietly and surprised her.
“Hello, Lily!”
“Elijah! How nice to see you again!” Lily had said after he stepped inside the library.
“Good to see you too!” he expressed, approaching her with an extremely confident stride in his step. He had been eager to see Lily again since the fundraiser, especially since Isabel went on one of her nonstop, mindless talking sessions and mentioned to him that Lily thought he was attractive.
“Oh my! What’s all this for?” Lily asked, after Elijah presented her with a single rose and a box of chocolates.
“Just my way of congratulatin’ you on the success of your show.”
“Thank you so much! That’s very kind of you!” She set her gifts aside and gave him a warm hug.
“I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to attend any of your shows,” Elijah said, holding Lily longer than she had anticipated.
“Oh, no need to apologize,” she replied, as she freed herself from his embrace. “Your sista’ told me you been busy tryna start a new business.”
“That sista’ of mine can’t hardly hold wata’.”
“Oh, sorry. Was I not s’pposed to know that?”
“No, no, it’s quite alright. It’s no secret. Just wish she’d leave a little left for me to talk about with folks sometimes,” Elijah laughed.
“Well, I’m sure she means no harm. She’s just awful proud ‘a you.”
“Sounds like the two ‘a you talk pretty often.”
“Yeah, she sort ‘a feels like a sista’ to me.”
“Well, what otha’ little secrets has she whispered to you about me?” Elijah asked, suddenly gazing at Lily in a way that hinted at what was on his mind.
Lily gazed back, knowing exactly what he wanted to hear, but she refused to betray Isabel. “Nothing. Nothing at all. We mostly talk about girly things. You know, stuff you men wouldn’t have no interest in,” she smiled.
“I see,” Elijah replied, still gazing at her with lust in his eyes. “I must say, Lily, you have a very beautiful smile.”
“Th-thank you,” she stumbled, suddenly blushing. She was not yet used to being in an environment where men could so brazenly approach her. She looked down at the floor to escape Elijah’s eyes when the discomfort of the moment overtook her.
“So, how have you been holdin’ up amidst the show madness?” Elijah asked after she was silent for too long.
“Umm, good … really good,” Lily answered, happy he was changing the subject. “Just busy most days. Me and William are constantly makin’ small changes to the show. It consumes most ‘a my time now. But I enjoy it.”
“Glad to hear that,” Elijah replied, as he walked around and fiddled with a few keys on the piano. “So, do you eva’ take a little time to yourself away from this here piano? You know, to relax?”
“Every so often, but it’s hard to find the time some days. I’m so absorbed in writin’ music and workin’ on the show. I ain’t complainin’, though, ’cause I love it so much.”
“I’m sure you do, but it’s good to step away sometimes, ya’ know? Can’t spend your whole life workin’ hard and neva’ takin’ a moment to play.”
“You’re right. It is nice to have a break once and a while … I s’ppose,” Lily nervously replied, suddenly sensing that there was an ulterior motive behind his questions.
“I’ve heard you put on one hell of a show. So, if anybody deserves to relax, it’s definitely you.” Elijah walked toward Lily again, staring at her in a way that intensified her nerves.
“Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say,” she replied with a shy smile.
“I’d like to propose a way for you to relax,” Elijah said, his eyes locked on her.
“Wh-what did you have in mind?” Lily replied, her heart suddenly racing.
“You should let me cook for you sometime. A quiet dinna’, a little wine, some nice conversation, no betta’ way to relax than that.”
“You can cook?!”
“Wow, you mean that chatty sista’ of mine didn’t tell you?” Elijah laughed.
“Naw, she neva’ said a word about it.”
“I love to cook! It’s the reason I’ve been wantin’ to open my own restaurant and bar. My motha’ believed in raisin’ me and Isabel to be well-rounded and independent, so she taught us both to be really great chefs.”
“I’m impressed! I’d’ve neva’ guessed that about you!”
“So, what do ya’ say then? Would you like to have dinna’ with me? When you have the time, of course.”
“Hmm, well, I’ll have to think about it.”
“Okay, fair enough,” Elijah nodded with a smile. “Now that I’m done travelin’ for a while, I have all intention of bein’ at your next show. So how about this?” He took hold of Lily’s hand. “You take some time to think about my offa’. If you say yes, then maybe afta’ the show I can put somethin’ really nice togetha’ for you. There’s nothin’ like a home-cooked meal afta’ a hard day’s work, and I’d be honored to prepare one for you, just as soon as you set foot off that stage.”
“That’s awful sweet ‘a you, Elijah,” Lily replied shyly. “I’ll definitely think about it.”
“Well, regardless of your answa’, one thing is for sure, I can’t wait to see you perform. I’ll be front and centa’, and I won’t miss a minute. You can count on that!” He brushed Lily’s cheek with the back of his hand.
“That’d be wonderful,” she replied, feeling a jolt of warmth from his touch.
“Well, I gotta get goin’. Congratulations to you again, beautiful.”
“Thank you!” Lily blushed.
“See you soon.”
“Bye.”
Elijah smiled and let his eyes linger on Lily a moment longer before leaving. He then exited the library and nearly ran into James, who had watched and listened to the tail end of their conversation from the hallway with his blood boiling. Elijah halted just before crashing into him. “So sorry Mr. Adams. Please excuse me.”
James just stared at him, refused to speak, and rudely refused to move. Elijah’s attraction to Lily had solidified James’s hatred for the man. Elijah could easily sense his displeasure by the sneer on his face. But he kept his wits about him, stepped around James, and proceeded out of the house.
James angrily huffed when he was finally gone. Listening to the want in Elijah’s voice during his interaction with Lily was the last thing he needed to hear at the end of a brutal day. It had his irritation at peak levels by the time he stepped into the library. “Lily,” he called out, sounding monotone.
