“If I have to put these on then I’m not going,” I said, and from my expression she knew that I was serious.
With a sigh, she yielded. I locked the shop and we bundled into a cab and we were on our way to the bubbling town center.
A little while later, with a cocktail in hand, I was perched on a stool at the bar.
Victoria and Helen had from the moment we arrived, headed over to a couple of guys seated in a booth, and asked to join their party. Thank God Sandra was not ready to get that friendly yet.
“What happens now?” I asked.
“We wait,” she said, and took another long drink of her sangria before setting it down on the counter.
“For what?”
“For someone hot to come up to us.”
I was amused. “And what if they’re not hot?”
“We ignore them,” she replied with a bright smile, but then the smile faltered when her gaze once again fell to my shoes and her expression turned to one of distaste. “Or you can take them. I’m sure that they’ll mostly be coming up to you,”
With a little laugh, I lifted my glass once again for another sip and let my eyes wander around the bar. But I was not really seeing anything. In my mind I could still see Caleb Wolfe’s breathtakingly translucent-blue eyes ... so light I, at first, thought that it was a trick of the light. But then he moved and I could see it wasn’t. His eyes were truly that beautiful. Every time I’d raised my head, I would see him watching me intently, so more than once I had stared straight into those unnerving depths.
It was weird but something about him made me feel… safe. I never felt that with other men. And he had ordered my favorite flower. Most men have never even heard of a flower called Red Magic Daylily.
“What if he’s the one?” I realized with a start that I’d spoken the words aloud. Given the lively chatter in the bar, and the music playing through the speakers, I hoped Sandra wouldn’t have heard me, but it was not the case.
She immediately whirled her head around. “Who? What are you talking about?”
“You know how I’ve always said that deep inside, something feels missing? As though I lost someone or something, and I’ve been waiting for him/it to come back?”
“‘Yeah?”
“‘Well I was just thinking. Wouldn’t it be awesome if that Caleb Wolfe was the one? That missing person ... the one I’ve been waiting for.”
Sandra stared at me like I lost it. “Well firstly, it’s definitely not him. I have dibs.”
I almost choked on the sip I had just taken. “What?”
“I’m serious. And secondly, what you’re missing are your memories not ‘the one’. You were just ten at the time—”
“Eleven,” I corrected automatically.
“Well, even if you were eleven, no one and I mean no one finds ‘the one’ when they’re eleven,” she finished aggressively.
“Calm down, Sandra,” I said. “I was just playing around.”
She looked at me seriously. “No, you weren’t. You’ve been this way ever since I met you in high school. Losing such a chunk of your memories is a massive deal, and it’s bound to always leave you feeling like something’s missing because you don’t have the whole story. I understand that, but you can’t let it hold you back from the present.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re incredibly guarded, Willow. It’s near impossible for you to trust anyone or anything, especially men, as though you’re afraid that if you live a little, something terrible will happen. It’s like you’re tip-toeing around as if you’re scared you’ll fall into some hole that you weren’t aware of.”
“People do fall in holes,” I mumbled.
Her voice softened. “‘Stop that, babe. Those years, although important, shouldn't be more important than your present and the memories that you can make with it. You’re here and you’re alive, and I want you to start acting like it. For instance, tonight, you’re going to kiss someone. And I’m going to make sure of it.”
I jerked back in horror. “No way!”
“Yes, way,” she said firmly. “And if he’s hot enough I’m going to make him take you somewhere and screw your brains out. It’s Valentine’s Day, and you’re twenty-three years old and as uptight as a nun in a brothel. What you need is to start making some new stories and a good drill in one of the toilets of this bar is a good place to start.”
I was astounded. Quietly, I took my drink and moved away from her to the next stool. “You’re insane,” I told her.
She burst out laughing.
Someone soon came up to her for a little chat, and soon they were lost in each other’s mouths. I rejected the few advances that came for me and was content to just relax alone with my thoughts. My chest began to warm up as a very familiar memory came to mind.
The memory of a kiss being pressed against my forehead ... and then my cheeks. Maybe even softly on my lips. Of strong warm arms, completely embracing me. Feeling so safe. Nothing could ever hurt me while I was in those arms.
For the longest time, I’d assumed that it was my father’s arms before he had been snatched away, but in my memory, my heart was always pounding so hard it felt like I would pass out. That couldn’t have been because of a hug I’d received from a parent. It had always made me wonder. For years and years, I had chased the memory, but it had always remained so near, but just outside my grasp. Until finally, I had given up. It was alive in that dark blank space inside my head that I could never access no matter how much I tried.
Sandra decided to go home with the man, and the other two girls had somehow disappeared too, so I took a taxi home. It was a relief to fall into my own bed … and dream of Caleb Wolfe.
8
Caleb
The flowers arrived just after the clock struck noon. I stared at the blood red flower for the longest time. She had twined it with some other red flowers and the effect was quite spectacular. I felt oddly proud of her. She had made something of herself. In spite of it all, she had made it. It made every long second I spent in prison worth it. I hadn’t wasted my life there if this was what she had achieved.
I reached out and touched a soft petal. I let my finger gently stroke it. She had touched this. I bent my head and breathed deeply, but only the faint smell of the flowers and the plastic wrapping it had come in filled my nostrils.
God, how I wanted her. I longed to rush over to her shop and blurt everything out. Tell her what we were to each other. Tell her about the promise we had made, take her in my arms and kiss her until she remembered me again, but I filled my lungs with a deep breath instead.
Patience, Caleb. Patience. You have waited this long. You can wait a little longer.
I turned away from the flowers and went back to my computer screens. Work had been the only thing that could take my mind away from her. It had been much harder in prison to run my stock brokerage business without the latest software or even these real-time screens, but I had found a way. It was instinctive with me. I was good at this. As soon as Frank the fraudster taught me something, I instinctively knew exactly how to implement it. Now, with the help of the latest AI software and screens, trading had become a doddle. I almost couldn’t believe how easy it was.
An hour passed in front of my computer before I stopped. I had arranged a meeting with Marie’s boss, Stanley, at their law offices.
I drove over and we got straight to business, reviewing the financial operations and assets I had generated in prison and the tax implication of me bringing the money back from the safe havens they were currently parked in.
During the meeting, Stanley had a domestic emergency. It sounded like his wife had found out about his mistress. Flustered, he asked to be excused for ten minutes.
“Sure, man,” I said with a shrug. I didn’t want to judge, but what a dick.
After he rushed out, Marie cleared her throat and spoke. “Would you like more coffee?”
She looked embarrassed. “Nope.” I was wondering if I sho
uld leave and finish this meeting another time when she filled the silence again.
“How did your visit to Willow’s shop go yesterday?”
I stared at her in surprise. Gone was the super-efficient, Marie. She was looking at me with an expression that was softer, more caring.
“I know it’s a very personal matter to you, and asking is intrusive, but I can’t help it. It is the most romantic thing I have ever seen. When I came to see you in prison, the first thing you asked me, before even your own freedom, was for me to find her. Your reunion with her makes me incredibly happy. Did she recognize you?”
I shook my head slowly. “She didn’t.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“What now?”
“I have no idea,” I said truthfully.
“What do you want to happen?”
“I want to get close to her again … to become a part of her life.” Actually, I wanted to become her whole life, the way she was to me. The way we both once were.
“Date her. Go back to the store and ask her out to dinner.”
I nodded in agreement. That indeed was the logical step, even though my chest tightened at the thought. At this stage in my life very little had the ability to crush my spirit, except the possibility of Willow rejecting me.
“I do have another idea,” she said with a smile, “one that will make a meeting between you two a bit more natural.”
“What do you have in mind?” I asked curiously.
Her smile widened, then she headed over to her windowsill towards the small cactus plant there.
She brought it over to me, her face beaming with pride. “Do you know, I’ve killed everything I've ever grown, except this cactus plant. It has been with me for two years and it has been thriving. So I’m very proud of it and it means a lot to me, but it’s sort of outgrown its home and I’ve been meaning to get it repotted, but I just haven’t found the time so this is the perfect opportunity to have it properly repotted by a professional.”
She passed the plant over to me, and I received it gingerly. She seemed to be very proud of it, but it actually seemed to be a sorely neglected thing. If I was being honest, almost half-dead.
“What should I tell her I want done to it?”
Her smile was kind. “Just tell her that you want it repotted. If she asks you if you want to do it yourself, say no. Ask if she can help you with it, so that way, you both get to spend a little time together even if it’s for a few minutes. I’m sure you’ll be able to find your opening line from there.”
There had not been too many people who were kind to me in my life so I appreciated it wherever and whenever I found it. “Thank you, Marie. I’ve got to go. Tell Stanley to call me later when he’s not so distracted. We can finish our discussion over the phone.”
“Sure, I’ll do that.”
I rose to leave.
“If she offers you some pebbles, please accept them, and if you see cactus pompoms then please get a few for me. I love them in bright colors … so blue, green, red, all of that will be great.”
I frowned. “Cactus pompoms?”
She grinned. “I’ll send a photo to your phone.”
9
Willow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjrOcrisGyI
I was reviewing flower arrangements with Sandra late that afternoon, when the doorbell tinkled.
We both looked up and there he was, the man who made my heart flutter. I heard Sandra’s breathing hitch, and I didn’t blame her one bit. It was almost as though in the space of just a few hours he had gotten even more handsome. The previous evening, he wore a close-fitting, navy blue suit, with a white, open collared shirt.
But today he had gone all black, with a banded collar dress shirt tucked into tailored slacks, and highly polished black shoes. His jet-black hair was combed away from his chiseled face. He looked as though he had jumped off the pages of a glossy men’s magazine.
“Remember, I have first dibs?” Sandra muttered under her breath.
I softly shoved her.
“I’m serious,” she hissed under her breath.
“You came back,” I said, as he neared us. My heart was pounding in my chest. My intention was to ask him if there was a problem with the delivery, but just as he had yesterday, he caught my gaze and held it.
And I became completely enthralled. Every rational thought flew out of my head. Speechlessly, I stared into those mesmerizing eyes.
He watched me without blinking, as though he couldn’t look away either. I felt my skin begin to burn. I stood there totally lost, staring at him like an idiot, until Sandra stepped forward with her hand held out.
“I’m Sandra,” she introduced herself. “I run the shop with Willow.”
It took him about two seconds before he was able to drag his gaze away to respond to her, and something extremely warm began to pool at the pit of my stomach.
“I’m Caleb,” he said.
She gave him her best smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Caleb. How may I help you today?”
He returned his gaze to me as he held up a brown bag that he’d walked into the shop with. Incredible that I had not noticed it until now. “I have a cactus plant that needs repotting.”
“Ah,” she cooed. “Come with me, I’ll take care of you … I mean the cactus.”
By this point, I was wisely staring at the area behind him, rather than risk looking at him and losing myself in the vortex of his eyes. I recovered slowly. However, after Sandra’s offer of help, the room went strangely silent and tense and I dragged my gaze back to his.
“Could you help me?” he asked.
I frowned. Why was he asking me when Sandra had just offered her assistance? My gaze moved between his intensely beautiful eyes and Sandra’s startled ones.
“Um … uh,” I began. “Sandra would actually be the better person for this job … around here, she does the repotting and I stick to flower arrangements.”
“I forgot to mention I also need a custom bouquet. Could you help me with that?”
I chewed my bottom lip and glanced at Sandra. Her mouth was agape with surprise.
“Of course,” I said. My voice sounded hoarse and strange even to my own ears.
He turned around and handed the bag with the cactus to Sandra.
“Thank you,” he said to her.
Her reply was through gritted teeth. “No problem.”
As she stalked off to the back of the shop where repotting was done, I swallowed hard and, turning away from him, began to walk towards the small rows of wooden shelves where our flowers were displayed. “What do you have in mind?”
“I’m not sure,” he replied from behind me. His voice was quiet, almost thoughtful, and perhaps too near to me.
I took a deep breath, steeled my spine, and turned around to face him.
I was startled by how close to me he was. There was hardly a foot between us. He had thoroughly invaded my space, but the strange thing was I didn’t want to move away. As my gaze collided with his, my breath caught in my chest, and I felt as if I’d turned into stone.
To my surprise, I suddenly felt that total and complete sense of safety that I’d only ever known in my dreams envelop me. My mouth dropped open with astonishment and I just stared at him. God knows how long I stood there like some mindless goldfish gaping at him. It was only the sound of Sandra banging something so hard it reverberated all the way to the front of the shop that I was jolted out of my awkward trance and found my voice again.
“What’s the occasion?” I croaked.
“It’s just a present, of appreciation for my solicitor’s assistant.”
“More Red Magic Daylilies?” I asked, and I could feel an intense jealousy creep into my heart. I didn’t even want to admit it to myself, but I already hated the woman he had given the flowers to, unless, Sandra was right and that bouquet was for a female relative. I found myself holding my breath as I waited
for his answer.
“No. That was not for her. That was for me,” he said softly.
I just about stopped myself from grinning from ear to ear with pure happiness. “Oh, okay. So what do you think she would like?”
He looked away towards the flowers to consider my question. I noticed then just how calm he appeared, and it made me feel like a fool. Here I was, unable to breathe, while he moved and acted as though haste or anxiety didn’t even exist in his dictionary. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants as his gaze moved across the floral displays in the small store.
I took my time too, and noticed the build of his body.
He was so tall, I barely reached his shoulders. I had to bend my neck back to look up at him. Maybe that was why I felt so unsettled, because at that angle, it felt like he was staring into the depths of my soul.
When he stood further away he appeared fit and lean, but from up this close his broad shoulders seemed to completely block out my view of everything behind him.
A blue tattoo of an owl on a branch snaked up his neck and my hands itched with the need to touch it and gently run my fingers down the branch. I wondered where it would lead me. What else would I find on his chest? How I wanted to feel his heartbeat underneath his inked skin. As the thought swirled in my head, I had a strange sensation that if I actually reached out and made the move he wouldn’t mind
It stunned me.
He was a complete stranger, but there was something about him that made my soul soar. It was not because he was so good looking, because I once took a trip to Hollywood and stood next to dazzlingly good-looking men and felt nothing. But when I was with him, I felt refreshed as if I’d been wandering in a desert for a long time drinking only the tepid, foul-smelling water from a goat-skin bag that I’d forgotten the taste of cool, fresh spring water.
He returned his gaze to mine, and it made me retreat a step backwards. I felt my cheeks flame when I remembered how inappropriately I’d touched him in my mind.
Saint & Sinner: A Second Chance Romance Page 4
