by Kate Frost
A waiter arrived with a tray of fruity mocktails, and they stopped for a break to enjoy them in the shade of the seating area. Annie showed Zander the images she’d taken. Freya nursed her drink and watched Zander’s reaction, the nods and an occasional narrowing of his eyes.
‘Show Freya that one.’
Annie turned the camera round. She couldn’t see it in too much detail but she got the sense of the shot. She was shocked by how little she recognised herself. She looked like a model leaning against a tree clasping a book; it took her completely by surprise.
‘I think we’ve found our winner there.’ Zander nodded as Freya met his eyes.
‘I think so too. We’ll look through them properly once I’ve uploaded them. But now,’ Annie said, finishing her drink and standing up. ‘Let’s have some fun.’
They ventured down the beach, to where the warm water of the lagoon kissed the shore. It was still hot – it was always hot – but the intense heat had dissipated and the slightest breeze drifted in. Freya wriggled her toes in the sand. The grains were so soft they ran over her skin like silk. On Annie’s request, she padded down the beach to the shallows. Maybe it was because she’d had time to relax into the shoot or because Annie was skilled at putting her at ease and getting the best from her subjects, but Freya enjoyed being uninhibited with Annie and almost forgot that Zander was watching. The water was as warm as a hot tub and clear enough to reveal tiny almost invisible fish darting away. A black-tipped reef shark swam past. The water shimmered, the house reef hidden beneath it waiting to be discovered. It was hard not to envy the guests who got to enjoy all the island had to offer on a daily basis. But their time was limited, while she had nine months to live and breathe island life. And work of course, although the idea of recommending and selling books on a Maldivian island hardly felt like work, nor did a photo shoot with a world-famous photographer while the handsome resort owner looked on.
Freya strolled in the shallows and Annie called out instructions every so often, to look sideways, to look wistful, to turn and face the ocean with her hands in the air. The bottom of her maxi skirt was wet and deliciously cool against her legs. She hitched it up as she walked from the warm water on to the soft dry sand.
Zander was leaning against the trunk of a palm watching them. Drew’s earlier comment about Zander liking to micromanage everything drifted across her mind. Would he be like that with the bookshop? Would she have to pass everything by him and not be able to make decisions of her own? Her brief worry dispersed when Annie called out to her.
The sun glittered on the horizon and the ocean lapped at her feet. It felt like she was living in a dream as she held on to her long floaty skirt and twirled around in the sand. She knew it would be a moment captured on film, a snapshot of a carefree life, a moment when she didn’t have any worries, when her heart didn’t ache, when regret, disappointment and loss were far in the past.
‘You’re a natural,’ Zander said, joining them on the beach.
Annie scrolled through the photos and gave a quick nod. ‘I think we’re done. There are some good shots.’ She looked at Freya. ‘You’ve made it a breeze.’
It had been a surprisingly enjoyable afternoon and the time had flown. The sun was already dipping low in the sky, the beginning of dusk descending. The last few shots had been to a backdrop of a pink horizon.
‘How’s the blog coming on, Freya?’ Zander asked as Annie picked up her bag and slung her camera around her neck.
‘Yes, nearly done.’
‘We’ll get the bookshop page live on the website by the end of the week and then you can publish your blog too. We’ll choose a couple of the photos so you can add them to the post. If you can email me the blog by the end of tomorrow, I’ll read it before we go live on Friday. We need to talk about opening the bookshop, ordering books and all the logistics. I presume you’ll be here all day tomorrow?’
‘Of course.’
‘I’ll meet you here at two after Annie’s gone and we’ll go through everything.’
Annie shook Freya’s hand. ‘Lovely meeting you. I’m sure the bookshop will be a huge success.’
‘And thanks for a great afternoon, Freya,’ Zander said. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
He left her with a smile and walked back along the beach with Annie. Freya watched them, wondering where they were going. Perhaps to Zander’s private villa? She walked up the beach, collecting the laptop from the bookshop on the way. How special it must feel to be a guest on the island, like Annie.
Chapter Eleven
The photos blew her away. It was probably the combination of everything: the jaw-dropping setting and the vivid colours of the ocean against the bright white of her skirt which showcased her lightly-tanned skin. Freya hardly recognised herself. She looked happy. Really happy, and that wasn’t a feeling she could honestly say she’d had much of recently. It cemented her thought that her decision to leave London was the right one.
She felt uncomfortable though, sitting on a stool in front of the bookshop window looking through the images with Zander. He’d already narrowed down the photos with Annie to the best dozen for the website and Freya’s blog.
His fingers hovered over his laptop. He had neat fingernails, lightly tanned skin and a ring on the index finger of his right hand with a ‘W’ engraved on it. She wondered what it stood for.
‘You really are photogenic.’
The compliment made her blush but squirm too; it was another nod to the idea that she’d got the job partly because of the way she looked. Back in the UK, she’d spent her days engrossed in manuscripts, refining the words and helping to shape the story. The focus was never on her. She was the behind-the-scenes person; the author was always the star. And suddenly she’d been flung into the limelight with the love island bookshop. She was the face behind one of the most coveted jobs in the world where seemingly looks were just as important as anything else.
‘If you’re happy with those for the blog, then write it up.’ He clicked off the folder of images and closed his laptop. ‘I’ll get the guys to update the website and put the bookshop page live, then you can publish it.’
It felt strange knowing that soon her face would be out there, showcased on the resort website for all to see. It was a responsibility to write a personal blog, her take on the island, the bookshop, the books and the guests. But that’s what Zander wanted, and from the little she knew about him and had gleaned from other people, what Zander wanted, he got.
‘The other thing we need to talk about,’ Zander said, snapping her back to the present. ‘Is the official opening of the bookshop. The date’s set, and invites will be going out to the guests who’ll be staying here at the time. I would have liaised with you about who to get to officially open the bookshop, but Mia Jacobsen was one of the authors I had on my radar before we even started the bookseller application process, and as you worked at Bloom & Cole, I figured you’d be more than happy to go with her. Her flights are booked and accommodation sorted, but can you please liaise with her about the evening itself – what you want to do, how many guests, food and drink. I’ll set up a meeting for you with our head chef and the manager of the Sand Bar about that. Finger food will be best. And if you need waiters, talk to Meena. She has all the travel details too. I’ll introduce you, but then you’re running the evening and will do the introduction for Mia. You good with that?’
‘Yes, absolutely,’ Freya said with as much conviction as the knot of nerves in her stomach would allow. He was so controlling about some aspects and yet he was seemingly giving her free rein over the launch party for the bookshop. It was a lot of pressure and responsibility and she couldn’t let him, or herself, down.
~
Zander left and the bookshop became her space again. She watched him casually stroll to the beach. It was a whole other world he lived in – an island home, a millionaire lifestyle, a past as newsworthy as Freya’s had been uneventful. Not that she’d ever craved fame or even fortune. And i
t wasn’t that her life had been unexciting – she’d had an interesting job which she’d loved – but travelling halfway around the world to live and work on a tropical island felt like the riskiest thing she’d done.
Zander disappeared beyond the trees screening the beach and she got a sudden wave of homesickness. Perhaps it was because she’d been lucky that her colleagues had all been friendly, straightforward and easy to get on with, while Zander had so far come across as complicated and charming, intriguing and controlling. She didn’t know what to make of him and that unnerved her, along with the fear that she would let him down. She felt the pressure of needing to prove herself in a job she knew she could do, and yet the location, the high expectations of Zander and the guests... Her palms started sweating just thinking about it.
She needed normality and a friendly voice. She closed her laptop. The blog could wait; she needed to let ideas simmer. She had to get it right. She picked up her mobile, worked out that it would be late morning in the UK, and phoned Aisha.
‘It’s so good to finally talk to you!’ Aisha’s excitement down the phone was palpable. ‘Your email was just envy inducing, but I’m dying to hear all about it – all the juicy details.’
‘I would have phoned before but there’s been lots to do and I still don’t think I’ve got my head around the time difference yet.’
‘Well, it’s not even been two weeks. So, what’s it really like?’
‘It’s kind of hard to describe just how beautiful it is...’
‘Oh, way to go to make me totally jealous.’
Freya rested her elbows on the worn wood in front of the window and stared out. ‘I’m in the bookshop right now looking out through palm trees to the whitest beach you’ve ever seen.’
‘Oh Freya...’ Aisha sighed. ‘It’s raining here. It’s not even a nice September day. What’s the bookshop like?’
‘There’ll be pictures on the website in the next couple of days so you’ll be able to see for yourself, but it’s beautiful. All driftwood shelves and pale cream walls. There’s sand on the floor and that’s intentional.’
‘But it’s not open yet? I heard through the grapevine that Mia Jacobsen is heading out there as a special guest. One of our authors and you being involved – it’s quite a win for Bloom & Cole.’
‘Yeah, I’m excited but stupidly nervous about the opening of the bookshop. You’ve met Mia, right?’
‘A couple of times.’
‘What’s she like?’
‘As striking and glamorous as she looks in photos. She’s like the perfect combination – fabulously talented and extremely photogenic to boot.’
Freya nodded as she watched a sandpiper hop about on the deck in front of the bookshop. It figured that Zander would invite an author who fitted with the look and glamour of his island.
‘I did a photo shoot a couple of days ago.’
‘You did?’ Aisha’s tone was incredulous. She laughed. ‘I’m only surprised because you’re the only person I know who looks the way you do and shies away from being in the limelight. If I had your looks, I’d be parading about in front of a camera all the time.’
Freya felt her cheeks burn. ‘Don’t be silly; you’re gorgeous.’
‘And so are you. Will I get to see the photos?’
‘They should be on the resort website along with my first blog at the end of the week.’
‘I’m so excited for you, Freya. For your adventure of a lifetime. I’m going to live vicariously through you for the next few months. I’m missing you like crazy though, all our lunchtime chats. It’s not the same without you.’
‘I’m sure the time will go quickly.’
‘For you at least. You know what they say, time flies when you’re having fun... You might not want to leave.’
‘It’s early days yet. Who knows what I’ll feel like in nine months’ time? I’ve got lots going on at the moment getting to grips with everything. I might miss everyone and everything back home so terribly that I’ll be dying to come home at the end of it.’
Aisha grunted in a way that made Freya understand that Aisha thought she was talking rubbish.
‘Have you spoken to your parents?’ Aisha asked.
‘No.’
‘Do they even know you’re in the Maldives?’
‘Yes, of course. I’ve emailed them. I’ve spoken to my brother a couple of times. I’m closer to him than my parents anyway. He’s the one who’s been around.’
‘That’s hard, Freya.’
‘I’m used to it.’
‘Still, doesn’t make it any easier; I don’t know what I’d do if my parents were that far away.’
‘But then your parents are completely the opposite of mine, so family orientated – to the other extreme. How many times have you complained about them interfering in your life? In the nicest possible way of course.’
‘That’s what comes of having Asian parents. I was lucky I got to choose a husband; my cousin had an arranged marriage, although to be fair they seem quite happy.’
‘I’ve still got Amber’s parents; I talk to them regularly and they keep in contact with me more than my own parents do.’
‘I’m sure you’re a comfort to them.’
‘Except now I’m thousands of miles away from them too. It feels like I’ve abandoned them.’
‘You can’t think like that. You can’t put your life on hold for fear of what it will do to them. You’ve not abandoned them; you’re just pursuing your dream. I’m sure they’d want that for you. They sound like they care about you like a daughter.’
Like a daughter. The idea didn’t sit easily with Freya. Amber was their daughter but they’d lost her in such a heart-breaking way. She felt like a fraud and however much she’d been welcomed into their family, she could never replace her, just the way she couldn’t comprehend how anyone would ever replace Amber’s friendship. Aisha was wonderful and a really good friend but she and Amber went back to childhood. They’d had a special bond. But was it really so special when her best friend had done something so unexpected? They’d always confided in each other, they’d always told each other their secrets, their hopes, their dreams, their fears... But for Freya to not have had a clue that Amber must have felt so hopeless, ripped her heart in two. She couldn’t forgive herself for not having seen the signs, or even having an inkling that her best friend was in so much distress.
‘By the way, I have some news.’
‘You do?’ Freya snapped back at the sound of Aisha’s voice. ‘I’ve not been gone long, what could possibly have happened?’
‘I so wanted to tell you before you left, but I didn’t want to jinx it...’
‘Oh, my goodness, you’re not...’
‘...Pregnant. Oh yes I am.’ Aisha practically squealed. ‘While you’re living a life of luxury on a tropical island, I’ll be getting fat and uncomfortable growing a baby.’
‘Oh, I’m made up for you, Aish, I really am. I bet Tom’s over the moon.’
‘He is but I think he’s also freaking out a bit. I think we had such disappointment for six months when we were trying and nothing was happening, and then we couldn’t really believe it when the next test came back positive.’
‘So, when are you due?’
‘Early April.’
‘I’ll still be here.’
‘Like I said, living a fine life while I’m knee deep in nappies and poop.’
‘You do realise I’m not actually living in luxury. The island is incredible and so are the guest villas – I mean dreamy out of this world sort of places, but the staff accommodation is quite modest, although by all accounts pretty bloody amazing for staff.’
‘You have a room of your own right?’
‘Yes, in a sort of flat with three others. Drew’s from the UK, younger than me but really nice. I’ve met a few people, made a couple of friends.’
‘Have you met Zander Cohen himself?’
‘I have indeed.’
‘And?’
‘He’s bloody gorgeous that’s what I make of him.’
‘Yes, but then you did have a massive crush on him.’
‘Well, I’m incredibly jealous of your island adventure and getting to meet my teen crush.’
‘And I’m so happy for you and Tom; it’s such fantastic news. Maybe you should have a babymoon and come visit me, stay on the island and have a few days of luxury and pampering before those sleepless nights start.’
‘That is rather tempting.’ Aisha laughed. ‘Send me pictures and keep me up to date with everything. I’m looking forward to reading your blog. Miss seeing your lovely face at work.’
Chapter Twelve
The next couple of weeks flew by. Freya was immersed in preparations for the bookshop opening, liaising with island staff about food and drink for the launch party, and with Mia Jacobsen about her journey plans and how long she’d be staying. Copies of Mia’s latest crime thriller arrived from Bloom & Cole and Freya unpacked them, feeling strange that they’d been sent from her old place of work. With tears in her eyes, she read the handwritten note from the CEO and publisher, Esther, thanking Freya and Zander for the opportunity and wishing Freya luck for the opening of the bookshop.
Freya’s first blog was published and over the next twenty-four hours she had a steady stream of messages via text and on social media from friends who’d not only read it but had seen the photos. Freya stared at the photo of her twirling around in the shallows in her white skirt, her hair flying around her. She looked like she had no cares in the world. The comments were all incredibly complimentary, yet she had a stab of guilt that she was enjoying herself and living life to the full. She felt guilty for not thinking about Amber, guilty about what her family would think, and it was eating away at her.
