by Kate Frost
‘Oh, there was. But he couldn’t deal with it. Deal with me, when all he wanted to do was go out and have fun.’ Freya stood up, knocking back the stool. She caught it just before it clattered to the floor. The sun had disappeared beyond the horizon and darkness had enveloped everything outside. The spa felt like a safe haven cocooned among the trees with only the glint of moonlight on the ocean to suggest there was anything beyond where they were.
‘Are you okay?’ Concern coated Drew’s voice.
‘I’m fine, really I am. I just realise how much I’m not yet ready to revisit the past and deal with my emotions.’
Drew slid off her stool. ‘It’s funny, isn’t it. We have different reasons for being here. I’ve got roots back in the UK, a home to go to that I’m welcome to live in for as long as I want, and yet I was desperate to escape...’
‘While I have no one in the UK; no family at least, not any longer, yet I was desperate to escape too.’
‘Let’s walk back and do something to take your mind off everything. Most guests will be having dinner, it’ll be quiet now.’
Although it wasn’t late, darkness shrouded the forest interior of the island, but on the beach, their way was lit by moonlight. Lanterns spilt warm light on to the undergrowth and the hidden paths to the beach villas, welcoming beacons behind a screen of trees and bushes. The sand was cool. She could still smell the sweet, spiced scent of the massage oil and her shoulders were relaxed from their pummelling. The gentle sound of the ocean was soothing after the bustle of life back home. She was glad she’d left all of that behind for a time at least.
‘Do you ever miss home?’ Freya asked. ‘I mean the place, not just friends and family?’
‘Sometimes the heat gets too much and I, like, long to be freezing cold in the middle of winter, but I soon snap out of that. And I love standing out in the rain here – when it does rain it’s torrential and warm, the best feeling. I missed being back in the UK last Christmas but I guess I was missing family and my sisters getting all excited. And my birthday out here. I missed being able to go clubbing. My twenty-third was a quiet one.’
‘It’s my thirtieth coming up.’
‘Oh my goodness, really?’
‘I’m sort of glad it’ll happen here. I don’t think I would cope back home – too many memories of past birthdays with...’ Freya breathed deeply.
Drew took Freya’s hand and squeezed it. ‘You don’t need to explain. I get it. So, we’ll have to do something special here instead then. It can’t pass by uncelebrated.’
They paced through the soft sand together, Drew swinging their arms as they went. She giggled. ‘I totally feel like we’re a loved-up couple having a romantic stroll.’
Freya laughed. ‘I certainly wouldn’t mind heading back to one of those villas.’
‘Although I’m sure you’d rather be with Aaron than me...’
‘Drew!’
‘What?’ She laughed. ‘I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Don’t tell me there’s nothing there.’
Freya smiled but remained silent. She knew Drew was right. She couldn’t deny there was something between them, even if it was only flirtation. She was enjoying it, much the same way as she was enjoying getting to know her new-found friend.
Chapter Fifteen
‘Drew told me it’s your birthday on Thursday. You kept that quiet.’ Aaron slipped his arm across her shoulder as they sat together eating breakfast. Drew winked at her across the table. ‘We’ll have to have a party on the beach to celebrate.’
Freya raised an eyebrow. ‘A party?’
‘Well, not exactly,’ Aaron said. ‘Drinks round the fire pit, how does that sound?’
‘Sounds good to me.’
‘Drew, will you be free in the evening?’ he asked, turning to look at her.
‘I’ve got a massage at seven but will be finished by about half eight.’ She gathered up her empty plate and glass. ‘I can meet you down on the beach.’ She looked at Freya. ‘You don’t have any events at the bookshop to keep you there?’
‘Not on Thursday, no.’
Aaron smiled. ‘It’s a plan then.’
It filled Freya’s heart that she’d made friends. Not that they were replacing anyone back home. A wave of sadness washed over her at how much Amber would have loved to have heard about her adventures in the Maldives. She’d have been cheering her on, envious and thrilled for her. Long emails filled with gossip. She’d have wanted all the juicy details about Aaron. Tall, dark, handsome, fit as anything – she’d have been egging her on to make a move. Her vivacious full of life friend.
‘You okay, Freya?’ Aaron’s hand was on her shoulder, a look of concern across his handsome face.
‘Yes, sorry. Miles away. Party Thursday. I’m looking forward to it.’
~
Freya knocked on the door of the forest hideaway office and went in. ‘You wanted to see me?’
Meena was sitting at a desk facing the window which looked into the tree tops.
‘Ah Freya, brilliant, yes. Zander said you’re organising your first bookshop event and wanted to check if you need me to order anything special in? And the other thing,’ she said, twisting in her seat and reaching to the table behind her. ‘These arrived for you.’
She stood up and handed Freya three packages and a handful of envelopes.
‘I presume it’s your birthday?’
‘Yes, today. My thirtieth.’
‘Well, happy birthday. It’s pretty special getting to celebrate that milestone in paradise. Now, what do I need to order?’
Freya went through the plans for her first book-themed cocktail evening with Meena and then set off along the shady forest path with her parcels tucked under her arm. There was a bit of time before she had to reopen the bookshop after lunch, so she made a beeline for her room and sat down on the bed to open her post.
Freya recognised her mum’s writing, so she opened that card first.
Happy birthday, darling.
Consider your flights paid for when you next come and visit us, perhaps after your stint in the Maldives?
Give us a call sometime so we can wish you a happy birthday properly.
Love, Mum & Dad xxx
Freya sighed and put the card on the bed. Unless she made the effort to go and see them, they’d potentially go for years without seeing each other. She’d give them a call, it had been far too long since she’d spoken to them, but she wasn’t going to bother today. She had a box of luxury praline chocolates from Aisha, and her brother and his family had sent her an assortment of notebooks and pens. He knew his stationery mad sister well.
She turned over the last package and studied the writing on the front. She’d had cards from friends, but the only people left who’d think of sending her anything was Amber’s parents. She read the card with a tightening in her chest.
Dearest Freya,
We know how difficult it will be for you celebrating your special 30th birthday without our dear Amber. Even if you’re in a place as magical as the Maldives and far away from the reality and hardship of the past two years, we just wanted to let you know that we’re thinking of you. We were going through some of Amber’s keepsakes in her room and came across this drawing you’d given her, I think when you were both in the first year of secondary school. I’m sure Amber would have liked you to keep it, and we thought we’d take inspiration from it and turn it into a fitting 30th birthday present.
We’re always here for you.
Lots of love, Vanessa and Mike xxxx
Freya’s eyes blurred with tears as she opened the package and pulled out a hand drawn card on worn paper that looked like it had been handled a lot over the years. It instantly took her back to school and sitting on a back table in English when she’d drawn the heart with F&A, Friends Forever, written in the middle of it. She’d passed it to Amber who’d given her a big toothy grin.
She put the drawing next to her on the bed and opened the box that came with it. I
nside was a heart-shaped silver pendent engraved with the same message she’d written to Amber all those years ago. The tears wouldn’t stop as she clutched the heart pendent to her chest. The overwhelming sadness and grief of losing her best friend so unexpectedly hit her. She cried until she had no tears left.
She tided away her presents, put the pendent in the bedside table drawer, splashed her face with cold water, and headed back to the bookshop.
~
The fire pit on the edge of the beach glowed. Aaron was already there with his friends from the dive school, Lin and Khadeeja too and a couple of others Freya was beginning to get to know.
Drew’s hand landed on her shoulder as she stepped on to the sand.
‘Hey, that was good timing.’ Freya put her arm around Drew’s waist and they walked over to the fire pit together.
Even in the warmth of the tropical evening, there was something rather lovely about the fire crackling as it cast flickering light across the sheltered part of the staff beach and the faces of her new friends. They were cocooned by bushes that had sprawled from the treeline on to the beach. They were hidden from the wood-clad building by the towering palms and lush ficus trees that screened the fire pit from the busyness of the courtyard.
Freya sat down with Drew to a chorus of ‘happy birthday’, and Aaron handed them both a cold bottle of beer.
‘This is the life,’ Freya said, leaning back on her hand and taking a sip of the refreshing beer.
‘Although we don’t get much time off,’ Bohdi from the dive school said. ‘This place is certainly about enjoying the simple pleasures.’
‘It’s not a bad spot for a thirtieth birthday,’ Freya said, clinking her bottle against Drew’s.
‘How would you be celebrating back home?’ Aaron asked.
‘Probably a quiet night out with a couple of friends. A nice meal somewhere.’ She tried hard to not think about her last birthday, the first without Amber, and how the birthday before that she’d had no clue that her best friend was struggling. Two weeks later she’d taken her own life. Freya swigged the beer and tried not to allow those thoughts to take over. She watched the flickering flames and listened to the calming sound of the surf hitting the shore. ‘It’s funny, I’m not really missing “going out”, you know, like back home to a bar or restaurant. And I like spending my spare time reading and writing rather than vegging in front of the telly doing nothing.’
‘Like Bohdi said, it’s the simple pleasures in life that mean so much here.’ Aaron met her eyes, his gaze making her wonder exactly what ‘simple pleasures’ he was referring to.
‘Yeah, it’s a real slow pace of life, even between working loads.’ Drew leant back on her hands and stared up at the sky. ‘For my birthday earlier in the year my parents sent me a telescope. It took forever to arrive but seriously, it’s like, the best present ever. Although friends back home would think I’ve gone mental spending my evenings stargazing. Even out in the sticks in Devon, it’s not as clear and dark as it is here. We’ll have to go stargazing one night.’ She nudged her elbow and lowered her voice. ‘Unless of course you’d rather go with Aaron.’
Freya shook her head, embarrassed by Drew’s lack of subtly. Aaron was talking to Bohdi and probably hadn’t heard, but even if he had, why should that worry her? She liked him a lot. She hadn’t been interested in anyone since Owen had broken her heart, despite good intentioned friends doing their best to set her up with single friends of theirs. She just hadn’t been interested. But Aaron...
They were an easy-going bunch from all over the world. She and Drew were the only two from the UK, with a couple of Maldivians, an Aussie, a Spaniard, Lin from Thailand and Bohdi from South Africa. They chatted about life and work on the island and what had brought them all there in the first place. It was a sociable but low-key evening, and a refreshing one with no one out to get drunk, in fact not everyone was drinking, and although Aaron had a beer he soon switched to a soft drink. The evening was filled with laughter and friendship and Freya couldn’t think of a better way to see in her next decade. It was a birthday she’d been dreading so much back home, yet here it didn’t feel stressful or sad like she’d imagined, and the evening raced away.
‘I’m going to say goodnight.’ Drew hugged Freya. ‘Early start tomorrow. Happy birthday, lovely. See you in the morning.’ She raised an eyebrow and scrambled to her feet. ‘Night, all.’
Freya smiled back and watched Drew disappear round the side of the bushes lining the edge of the beach. Deep down she knew she’d been waiting all evening to be alone with Aaron; she wasn’t certain if Aaron felt the same, but it felt like torture as one by one the others drifted off back to the accommodation.
‘So, thirty, huh,’ Aaron said, breaking the silence. ‘A milestone age.’
‘I suppose so.’
‘I say that from the point of view of having already turned thirty. Did you ever imagine you’d be somewhere like this for your birthday?’
‘No. I was in a very different place at the beginning of this year. Physically and emotionally.’
‘I thought maybe you’d had your heart broken?’
The fire had petered down to embers but it glowed enough to highlight his full lips and cheekbones and the dusting of stubble across his jaw. Somehow, despite having chatted together on numerous occasions since they’d met back on Freya’s first full day, their relationship status – or lack of it – had never really come up.
‘I’ve been single for a while. And yes, my heart got broken by someone who proved to not care about me enough when things got tough. And I take it it’s the same for you, I presume no girlfriend out here either?’
‘No, not any longer.’
She understood his tone, it was one she was familiar with, not really wanting to divulge any more information or talk about a time in her life she’d rather forget.
‘It seems like there are very few couples. I guess it’s hard for people to sustain a relationship here?’ Oh God, Freya thought, realising that it might sound like she was suggesting they should be in a relationship.
Aaron picked up his bottle of Coke and joined her on the other side of the smouldering fire pit.
‘There aren’t many couples here. There are lots of people in a relationship but their other halves are back home, in the Maldives or India, Sri Lanka. It’s also a conservative country,’ he said, wedging the bottle in the sand between them. ‘It’s why the male and female accommodation is separate. There are some family rooms for married couples or staff working out here with their partners, but most staff stay here for a few weeks and then go back to their families – if they live close enough. Some only get to go home once a year.’
‘Do you get to go home often?’
‘Every few weeks. Back to an island with no restrictions unlike here.’ He looked sideways at her. ‘I know we’re lucky that we have this beach, some space to relax in, but even so, I love the freedom of the island my family are from.’
Freya wrapped her arms round her knees and gazed out to the dark ocean. The moonlight caught its gentle swell. Aaron’s life was so far removed from her own; an island lifestyle, while she’d spent most of her adult life in the smog of a big city. She was beginning to realise just how much she didn’t want to go back to that kind of existence. And it had felt that way, at least recently. She was existing rather than living.
‘You should come with me sometime – see what the real Maldives is like.’
Freya was lost for words for a moment. Their friendship was easy and they flirted almost without meaning to; it would be a major step to visit his home with him.
‘I’d like to see where you live. Is it as beautiful as here?’
Aaron nodded. ‘In a more rustic way. Nothing’s polished like here. It’s rough around the edges. People live and work on the island. Fishing was the main source of income for most people; now there’s the opportunity for tourism – but not like here. My mum runs a guest house, but it’s for travellers wanting to t
aste the real Maldives without paying the prices that people like Zander charge.’
There was a hardness to his voice. Freya hadn’t really seen things from the perspective of the locals, their islands being taken over by rich foreigners who turned them into places that other wealthy foreigners wanted to visit.
They remained sitting side by side and watched the surf catch the moonlight as it broke on the shore. The staff beach was enclosed by forest, its own natural barrier to the rest of the island. Apart from the moon and stars, the only light came from the courtyard behind them and the room lights that glowed. Even at night, the air was heavy with heat. It was quiet and late, the beach empty now after most people had gone to bed ready for an early start. For Freya it was a little different with the bookshop not opening until ten, and Aaron didn’t seem to care that it was late.
As birthdays went it was a memorable one. A perfect way to start her thirties. She had no idea how she would have felt celebrating back home. Everything felt easier here, perhaps because it didn’t feel like real life, which meant she didn’t have to deal with the emotions she’d been battling in the UK.
Aaron’s deep voice broke the silence. ‘So, I, uh... got you something.’ He handed her a folded paper bag. ‘One of the housekeepers makes traditional jewellery. Happy birthday.’
‘Oh Aaron, you didn’t have to.’
‘I know, but I wanted to.’
She undid the bag and pulled out a lacquered wooden bangle with a repeating pattern carved into it. It felt warm and heavy in her hand. She slipped it on to her wrist and held her arm up so she could see it in the faint light.
‘I don’t know what to say. Thank you. It’s beautiful.’
There’d never been much of an opportunity to talk to Aaron on his own, certainly not somewhere secluded away from the hustle and bustle of the staff village. She realised that they’d moved closer to each other and her bare shoulder was against his arm, toned, solid and warm. She was staring at the bangle because she knew if she looked at him, she’d want to kiss him.
