“I’m not letting her intimidate me. She’s desperate, but she’s not stupid. It’s not like she’s following us on our road trips. I still can’t believe my brother spent sixteen years with that woman.”
“Sometimes men can be a dense bunch, especially when we think we can make things work our way through sheer force of will.”
She leaned into me, pressing her hips against mine, and I was instantly hard. I’d always had a healthy sex drive but couldn’t recall getting hard this quickly for any other woman. My dick was like a finely tuned sports car that went from zero to one hundred when I laid eyes on her.
“I can tell by the look in your eyes that you’re worried. Don’t be. I’ve dealt with tougher women than her and lived to tell about it.”
“Have you dealt with crazier ones?”
“Probably. Besides, she’ll never be sober enough to carry out any of her threats. That would involve some planning.” She blew this off, but I saw through her. She was concerned, which meant I was too. My urge to protect her was strong because somehow Bria had shifted her focus to Geneva. Or had she? Would she exact her revenge on both of us? Or on Jock or the kids? Or was it all blustering bullshit?
“I have to get the last load of towels done, or I’ll be here all night.” She gave me a gentle shove and turned to the dryer, checking the towels.
“I’ll help. It’s the least I can do.”
“I’ve seen your folding. I can finish this last load.” She gently pushed me out of the way and opened the dryer, pulling out an armful of white towels.
“I’ll wait until you’re done and escort you back to the hotel.”
“You’re just going to escort me? That’s all?” she teased.
“Well, there will be an escort fee.” I winked at her and ran my gaze down her body and back up again, making it clear what that fee would be.
“I’ll gladly pay your price.”
And I’d gladly accept her payment.
Chapter 25—Payment Due
~~Geneva~~
I was living in an odd mixture of the best time in my life with some of the worst moments. These times were the best because Axel and I spent every night together. We didn’t just fuck, we talked about hopes and dreams and compared dysfunctional families. We bonded physically and emotionally. I was falling for him, and I wasn’t sure how he felt about me.
The team was largely aware we had a thing, as was the equipment staff. I’m not sure our relationship was on anyone else’s radar, and I preferred to keep it on the down low even though we weren’t keeping it a secret.
Over the course of the season, I’d become quite the hockey fan. You couldn’t live and breathe hockey twenty-four seven without gaining more-than-casual knowledge of the game. Besides, I was Canadian, and hockey was in our DNA, so I’d already known the basics every good Canadian knew before I’d been hired by the Sockeyes.
We lost the first game two to one. We’d been tied until the last ten seconds, when the Sidewinders star center and captain, Cody Armstrong, scored on a pass from Toli Petrov. Petrov might be the oldest guy in the league, but he didn’t play like it. Jock had followed Armstrong’s fake one direction and wasn’t able to adjust before the puck sailed over his shoulder into the net.
The second was a blowout, and not in a good way. The Sockeyes were lethargic and uninspired, losing four to zero. Jock blamed himself, but he blamed himself for every loss. That’s what goalies did, as far as I could tell.
We flew back to Seattle, bruised but not beaten. After a rousing and rare speech by team captain Ice and assistant captain Smooth, the team rallied, discarded the two loses, and swore they’d start fresh at home.
The plane trip was oddly upbeat. The guys were feeling good about their chances and determined to turn this around.
On a personal note, Axel spent every night on the road trip with me. Jock didn’t say a word, didn’t even look annoyed, and he had to know where his roommate had been and with whom.
Axel and I went our separate ways after the plane landed. I had to help with equipment. Axel needed sleep. We made plans to meet up later in the evening for dinner, drinks, and dessert, and I’m not referring to chocolate but something far better.
I managed to get a few hours’ sleep before the afternoon practice. The coach didn’t work them too hard. The playoff schedule was grueling, and they needed to be fresh for the next two crucial games.
I arrived at Axel’s after eight p.m. He and Steele were playing a video game.
Axel abandoned his game and leaped to his feet. He wrapped me in his big, strong arms and hugged me. When he drew back, I kissed him, one of those kisses that tilted my world and spun it around until I was dizzy.
“Enough already!” Steele shouted.
We took our time breaking off the kiss and both laughed at the exasperated and slightly offended glare Steele gifted us. As a hockey player, I’d have thought he’d seen far worse than a deep kiss between us, but he was a little different than the average hockey player. In fact, Steele was an enigma. I hadn’t figured him out yet.
“Where’s Kaden?” I asked, glancing around. As a suspended player, he wasn’t allowed to go on the road trip with us, but I expected to see him here. “Surely he’s not out partying.”
“He’s at a cabin in the woods getting his head on straight,” Steele answered.
“A cabin? Where?”
“In the Olympic Mountains or something.” Steele rolled his eyes. “He should’ve gotten his head on straight before he got kicked off the team.”
One thing I did know about Steele—he was a rule follower, dependable to a fault, and predictable. He took his responsibilities seriously, and he expected the same of everyone else. Kaden, Ziggy, and Cave had betrayed their team and themselves.
Axel brought us each a beer. We sat down on the couch and enjoyed a brew together.
“He’s been weird ever since he met that woman,” Steele said. “Then she disappeared on him or dumped him or went back to her husband or whatever, and he’s been on self-destruct ever since.”
“It’s weird,” Axel agreed, and I nodded. I didn’t know much about Kaden’s love life. No one did. All we really knew was that he’d been a man whore until he’d met her, then he was secretive and ceased chasing other women.
Steele sighed and leaned his head against the back of the recliner. He closed his eyes for a moment and seemed to debate saying more. Instead he wished us good night and went to his room.
“What do you make of all that?”
“Kaden? Or Steele?”
“Both of them really.”
“I think they have baggage and aren’t dealing well with it.”
“That about sums it up.”
“I don’t want to talk about them any longer. I want to lose myself inside you.” He leaned close to me, studying my face.
“That’s the best idea you’ve had all night.”
Chapter 26—Calm Before the What?
~~Geneva~~
I couldn’t shake the feeling Axel and I were living in the veritable calm before the next storm, but I shook off my bad feelings and lived in the moment.
In the excitement and stress of the playoffs, I’d all but forgotten about Bria, and she’d been quiet. I knew Jock’s attorney was in discussions with hers. Jock had even volunteered to pay for her treatment if she’d go, but she wasn’t being cooperative. No huge shock there.
Game three started out with a bang. Axel scored his first shift on the ice, and I ignored the amused stares of his teammates and my coworkers as I screamed at the top of my lungs. He skated over to the bench and fist-bumped the guys on the way by. His gaze lifted momentarily to me, and he winked. I loved being his—
I hesitated. What the hell was I? His girlfriend? Had we progressed to that point? I didn’t know. We hadn’t discussed it. This entire thing was so new, and I was still skittish about getting in too deep with him. I freely gave him my body, but I withheld my heart and my soul. He wasn’t complaining,
and I wasn’t dumb enough to point out what was missing.
We were a pair—the two of us. I fought having any kind of relationship, while Axel pretended he wanted one, but I wasn’t sure he really did. At least, not the kind of relationship most people dreamed about. He wanted the sex. We both did.
But the stuff that came with a deep, meaningful relationship… Not so sure we were ready for that or if we’d ever be. We were both damaged goods. Children who’d been abandoned by their mothers never quite got over that abandonment. The way I saw it, those children as adults always held something back so that they were never all in. It hurt less that way when everything fell apart.
We didn’t talk about us as a couple in any serious manner. It was too early for that, and I was probably too gun-shy about trusting another man to bring up such a conversation. Best to let this go as it was going. We were having fun. We were dating. We were exclusive. I didn’t need or want more than that. I doubted Axel did either.
I shook off all this introspection and dragged my gaze back to the ice. Axel’s line was out there, skating hard, and they were battling the Sidewinders with everything they had. Axel stole a pass and raced up the ice, showing that blinding speed that would someday establish him as one of the elite players in the league. I expected sparks to be flying from his skate blades. He was that fast. Dom Gianni, the Sidewinders premier defenseman, was a half step behind him, but Axel had the edge.
I held my breath as he came into the net too fast and sent a shot flying toward the Sidewinder goalie, Karl Martensson. It bounced off Martensson’s pads a split second before Axel put on the brakes and piled into the net, knocking the goalie on his ass.
I held my hands up to my mouth to stifle the cry that threatened to escape. Cheering for the team was one thing, but crying over an on-ice wreck involving my boyfriend was unprofessional. Play stopped, and Axel disentangled himself from the net, reaching down to help Martensson to his feet. The Sidewinders didn’t appreciate our rookie almost taking out their star goalie. Gianni, their huge defensemen, streaked toward the pair. The man was huge and towered over Axel.
I held my hands to my face and stifled the cry threatening to escape.
Gianni’s gloves came off and, and he swung at Axel, who turned his body just in time to deflect the blow. His punch bounced off Axel’s shoulder pads. Shedding his gloves, Axel’s own punch didn’t connect either.
Their teammates stepped in and pulled them apart before anything else happened. Injuries caused by fighting were not something you wanted to see in the playoffs.
A few seconds later, the refs intervened. Head down, Axel skated to the penalty box, while Gianni held up his head in defiance as he skated off the ice. He lost steam after that. He skated too carefully, as if afraid of another penalty. The all-out determination he’d shown early had been replaced by too much caution. The second line appeared to follow his lead, and the game started to unravel, despite the play of the first line. The defensemen on the second line tried too hard, missing opportunities to deflect the puck and stop any scoring.
We lost again with a score of two to three. Losing three of our best players was a handicap we hadn’t been able to get beyond.
Coach Gorst didn’t chew ass after the game. He told the team to go home and get some rest. They’d talk about next steps in practice tomorrow. I applauded his decision not to demoralize these guys any further. They needed their confidence built up, not broken down. There wasn’t anything wrong with their try, but luck wasn’t on their side, and their confidence was waning.
After the game, Axel and I went to his condo. He didn’t feel like going out. His roommates also went home and straight to their rooms.
Axel had a gash where the goalie’s skate had raked across his forehead. Other than that and a bruised ego, he was fine.
The next game was do or die. If the Sockeyes didn’t win, they’d be out of the playoffs in four games. Not only would that be heartbreaking but humiliating for a team who’d won it all the year before.
The only good thing about tonight was that I fell asleep in Axel’s arms, the one place I felt safe, the one place the rest of the world couldn’t reach us.
~~Axel~~
Game day. Do or die. This was it. Move on or stay home.
I woke that morning in Geneva’s arms. For one moment in time, all was right with my world. The birds were chirping. The sun was shining. I was content. And I was well fucked. Yeah, I was a guy, and that was a big deal to most guys I knew, including me. So my life was epically great.
Then I remembered.
We were down three games in the series. If the Sidewinders won tonight, it’d be all over for us.
Just like that, the bottom dropped out of my box filled with all those good feelings, leaving me weary, tired, and confused.
I turned my head to look at Geneva. She was nestled up to my side and sound asleep. Studying her beautiful face calmed me and restored some of my earlier contentment. Not all of it, though, because, well…hockey.
Yeah, hockey.
The one thing that overshadowed the good things in my life right now.
We’d had a good practice yesterday, along with a great session with Coop beforehand. The team had been upbeat and positive. We’d been focused on the game ahead, and we’d worked well as a team. Gorst, instead of yelling, was in a weird zen-like mood. At least, that’s what Smooth jokingly called it. Gorst was a cheerleader, doing his best to instill confidence in a team that was playing without three valuable cogs in our wheel.
It was Coop after practice who’d sat us all down and talked about what it’d meant to him to finally win the Cup last year after all those years in the league. His speech inspired and lit a fire under our asses. We could do this, or die trying. We would not give up.
So here I was, the morning of the biggest game in my life, contemplating my uncertain future, not just professionally but personally.
Where did Geneva fit into my life, and where did I fit into hers? Did she even want me to fit? Because I wanted her with me, indefinitely. I wasn’t saying that scary F word forever yet, but I’d given it some thought lately, even if such thoughts were premature considering how new this relationship still was.
“Axel?” Geneva blinked her eyes a few times before those exquisite long lashes framed a pair of baby browns. God, she was spectacular, every part of her, down to her cute little nose and her sassy personality.
She rose up on an elbow and studied me. My gaze dropped to her breasts as the sheet slipped downward.
“Up here, puck boy.” She pulled the sheet back up, and I made a pouty face. Geneva laughed, a sound that relieved some of the pressure I was feeling. I could battle any and all adversity with her by my side. She gave me hope. She gave me strength. She gave me things I wasn’t able to put in words.
She squinted at me as if to see something more clearly. “What is it? What has you so serious this morning?”
“Hockey.” There was more to it than that, but I wasn’t going to spring any serious relationship talk on her just yet. I didn’t want to send her into hiding. Hell, I didn’t want to send myself into hiding. I had to figure out what I wanted before I approached her. Anything less would be unfair.
“Of course, hockey. You’ll give it all you have tonight, Axel. I know that about you. No matter what the outcome, you’ll be proud that you battled with everything you have.”
“You been listening to Coop lately? You sound like him.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She gave me a deep kiss. When I made a move to take it further, she evaded me and slid out of bed. I watched her naked body appreciatively as she moved across the room to pick up a robe from the floor and pull it on. She kept some clothes in my closet, as she lived here more lately than at her brother’s.
“I’ll make my world-famous pancakes for breakfast.”
“I didn’t know you even cooked, let alone had anything world-famous.”
A shoe whizzed by my head, and I ducked just
before the heel had a chance to take out one of my eyes.
“Get your ass up. My breakfasts wait for no man.” She laughed as she walked out of the bedroom.
I scrambled out of bed. A guy didn’t stand a chance against her, and I wasn’t missing this breakfast for the world.
As I walked into the kitchen, my body felt ten times lighter than it had a few minutes before.
Chapter 27—The Clock Runs Down
~~Axel~~
I stood up from my seat on the bench and gaped at the clock overhead, certain it was wrong. There was still time left. This wasn’t how a good story ended.
Out on the ice, the first line skated slow circles heads down while the Sidewinders celebrated on our ice.
Our season was over.
We’d fought our asses off, left everything out on the ice, and we’d come up one fucking lousy goal short of living to play another night. We’d known it’d be a tough hole to dig ourselves out of, but we’d believed. We’d never lost hope, even while making the second round slipped slowly from our fingers with every ticking second.
We’d become a team. We’d battled through adversity dealt by the crippling blow of losing three key team members and our star goalie. We’d finally gelled as a team, but it’d been too little, too late. We’d needed one more week together, but we didn’t have a week left.
The coaches entered the room, and we looked up wearily. I wasn’t interested in listening to a speech on how we had next year. I’d wanted it this year. Next year was a long way from now. Of course, Coop, Ice, and Gorst gave us all a rah-rah speech. Even Mr. Parker came into the room and told us how proud he was of us. Did that make me feel better? Not one damn fucking bit.
I ran every game over and over in my mind, obsessing over things I should’ve done better, things I messed up, places where I didn’t do enough. I let my team down. We each let our team down. Hockey was a team sport, and as hard as we tried to overcome our misfortunes, our best wasn’t good enough.
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