“How?” Lethal asked, his voice rising in frustration because he knew he remembered very little.
Two shrugged. “I’ve always been a little different. I don’t know why. My momma used to say that my different made me stronger than most, because I had to be because I felt deeper than everybody else. Maybe that’s why I remember. I don’t know.”
“Don’t you want to call your mother, your family? Let them know you’re okay?” Lethal asked.
“I’m not ready for that,” Two said quietly. “And I want to help find Nina, and find the doctor. Then I’ll see how I feel. But not now.”
“You know you don’t have to do this, Two. I trust you just like the rest, but I know you’re not like them. You’ve always had a problem with the violence. You want out, just say so. We’ll talk to General Ferriday and get you your own safe, quiet place,” Lethal offered.
Two thought about it. “I want to find Nina first. Then I’ll see what I want to do.”
“Okay. I appreciate your help, Two,” Lethal said.
Two shrugged again. He did that when he was talking about his feelings as though he was at a loss to explain them even to himself. “She was my friend. And I bet she thinks we deserted her.”
“Or she thinks we’re dead,” Lethal said. “I’m not stopping until I find her, one way or the other. I’m bringing her back here.”
Two nodded and offered Lethal another smile. “Me, too.”
“I’m gonna take these papers to Valor. Maybe they’ll help,” Two said, gathering up the crumpled scraps and pages and trying to smooth them out.
“I’m going to see if he’s been able to get into that flash drive Feral found,” Lethal said, getting to his feet.
“I like Feral. He reminds me of you,” Two said.
Lethal stopped and looked back at Two. “Yeah, I guess he kind of does, huh?”
“I like most of us better since we’re not getting those shots anymore. Except Scorn and Steel. They’re irritating.”
Lethal just grinned to himself as he walked out of the bedroom and into the open living room and kitchen.
Valor looked up as he entered the room, then back down at the computer screen.
“Any luck?” Lethal asked.
“Not yet. It’s encrypted. But I’m not giving up,” Valor answered.
“Good. Keep at it. Two is bringing you all the papers we found. We can go through those, too.”
“Alright,” Valor answered, looking up as Two walked into the room. “Why don’t ya’ll spread them out on that end of the table and we’ll go through them?”
Two took his time setting each individual piece of paper on the table, making sure they were all facing the same direction and close enough to be part of a group, but not too close to keep them from being read and handled individually. Once he was done, he stepped back and watched as Lethal and Valor began to go through them one at a time, carefully inspecting each one.
Lethal’s eyes skimmed the pieces of paper, but one in particular caught his eye. It was unfortunately a scrap, just a large corner of what was once a spread sheet, but if it was what he thought it was, it could be very valuable. He reached for it and inspected it more closely. “Look at this,” he said, handing it to Valor.
Valor looked at it before he started to smile. “FICA, FUTA, SUTA… this is a piece of a paycheck stub. I can even see part of the social security number on it,” Valor said, holding it up close to his face and smoothing it over with his thumb as he moved back around the table and sat down at the computer again. He minimized the program that was working to unlock the encrypted flash drive they’d found, and opened another program. “Let me see if I can get a database of socials starting with these six numbers. Maybe we can get a hit on one of them if so.”
“It’s going to be a massive database,” Scorn said, walking out of his bedroom.
“Yeah, it is, but it’ll be much smaller than if we had every social in the U.S. on it,” Valor said. “It’s going to take me some time. Ya’ll may as well settle in and try to unwind for a while.”
“I’ll go over to the cafeteria and get us some food,” Lethal said.
“I’m going to the supply house. I’ll get us some stuff for the fridge and the cupboards,” Steel said from across the kitchen where he stood opening and closing cabinets.
“I’ll go with you, Lethal. Help you carry enough meals for us all,” Two offered.
“Come on,” Lethal said.
All the men exited the house, headed in their individual directions, leaving Valor to his research on the computer.
Valor worked for a few minutes before realizing there was no sound other than the clicking of the keys on the keyboard as he worked. He paused and looked up, surveying the room. He was alone. Truly alone for the first time since his first memory of the testing facility they’d been in. He took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds then blew it out slowly. He smiled. “I just might survive this after all,” he said aloud before he started typing again.
Chapter 28
Nina and Acker had just finished having their dinner at their favorite table near the back corner of the cafeteria. She seemed a little jumpier than usual and Acker watched her closely. “You alright, Nina?” he asked her, laying his hand on top of hers, where her fingertips tapped out a rhythm on the tabletop. He sat across from her like he usually did, so they could talk more easily.
Nina stopped thrumming her fingers on the table. “Sorry. Yes, I’m okay. Just a little nervous about tomorrow morning.”
“You’ll do fine,” Acker said.
“I hope so. I’m looking forward to it, just a little worried, too.”
“About what?” he asked.
Nina looked down at her hands. Looking down, he’d come to understand, meant she didn’t want to answer or talk about something.
“What is it, Nina? You don’t have to work in the office if you don’t want to. I already told you that,” Acker said calmly, trying to soothe her.
“I know,” she answered. Then suddenly her head came up and she looked him in the eye. “I just keep getting caught off guard.”
“By what?”
Nina’s eyes roved around the cafeteria. She took in all the males mingling and laughing together, and all the males sitting off to themselves intentionally avoiding being part of a group. She watched the women that had ventured out of their barracks finally, and were feeling safe enough after weeks at Alliance Ranch to have a meal in the company of whoever may be in the cafeteria. “I keep thinking I see him. And it shakes me up every time I do.”
“Who?” Acker asked, going on alert.
“One,” Nina said quietly.
“One fifth of them are, or were, called One, sweetheart. I’ll need more than that to know who you mean,” Acker said, trying to hold tight rein on his insecurities and jealousy roaring to the forefront.
Nina looked down at her hands now folded in her lap. “When I first woke up there, it was horrible. The women were passed around by not only the males in the facility, but the guards, too. I learned to keep my mouth closed and not fight. If I didn’t resist, at least I’d not be beaten as often as some of the other women.”
“Nina… you don’t have to tell me this,” Acker said.
“Yeah, I do. I need to get it out. Maybe it’ll make me feel a little better.”
“Okay,” he said, getting to his feet and moving around the table to pull up a chair right next to her.
Once he was seated beside her and had turned her chair toward his, taking her hands in his, she began again.
“I was given as a reward to Squad A. Their Alpha,” she paused and looked up at Acker whose jaw was clenched as he made every effort to control himself, “One,” she said, pausing to make sure he followed her explanation.
“I understand,” Acker said.
“One refused to share me with his squad. He claimed me for his own and even worked out a deal with the doctor who made them to allow me to belong only to him.”
/> “How the hell did he do that?” Acker asked, completely taken off guard by her admission.
“He agreed that he’d stop fighting the program. He’d do whatever the doctor said and he’d stop killing members of the other squads in training. If they were sent out on a mission and they were successful, I would continue to be housed in One’s cell, in Squad A’s cell block. If they failed, I’d be given to another squad until Squad A was successful again.”
Acker let go of one of her hands and scrubbed that hand down his face and beard. He looked off at a spot over her shoulder and took a minute to get himself back under control. This wasn’t about him. This was about the woman he loved opening up and confiding some of what she’d been through to him. He reached for her hand again and brought it to his lips. He kissed her fingertips, pressing his lips to her fingers one at a time before returning her hand to her lap, where he continued to hold it beside the other. “What happened, sweetheart?” he asked.
“It wasn’t a great situation. But it was better than it had been before. Belonging to one male was better than being shared by any you were given to. All I had to satisfy was One. And One protected me from everything all the other women were dealing with by making me his.”
Acker nodded, encouraging her wordlessly to go on. And somewhere he developed a bit of appreciation for her One, whoever he was. At least the male had protected her as best as he could under the situation.
“Then one day, Dr. Waller came to our cell. I wasn’t really surprised — One and his team had been out on their mission for a long time. It had been days, and one of the guards had even come to me and apologized when he brought my food. He said he wished he could have done something. So I knew immediately that One and his squad weren’t coming back.”
Acker made note of the fact that she’d mentioned the name of a doctor, but didn’t interrupt her.
“Anyway, the doctor came in and said that One and his squad had graduated the training program. They’d been sold and were headed to their new home. He said that One was given the chance to take me with him, but he’d declined the offer, preferring instead to leave me behind.”
“Nina…” Acker said on a hushed sigh. He knew where this was going.
“They brought in a new squad and gave me to them. All of them. And it went on and on and on until eventually I was sold with a squad. All of us were. We were all tranquilized, shot with darts like animals. I remember all the chaos as I was loaded on a rolling stretcher with two other females and wheeled out of the facility to a waiting vehicle. I guess it was a van because it had enough room in the back that they just loaded us all in on top of each other. When I woke up next, I was strapped to a table like you found me.”
She took a minute to take a deep breath and calm herself. She’d never spoken to anyone of the things she was telling Acker. When she was ready to speak again, she still didn’t look at him. She just started speaking.
“For a long time I was angrier than I should have been. I was angry that after all his ‘Mine’ and refusing to let anyone else near me that he’d left me to my fate, perfectly aware of what that would mean for me. Then I realized that he wouldn’t have done that. And I thought about the guard coming to apologize to me before the doctor showed up with the new squad. And I realized that One and his squad had failed. The only reason they hadn’t returned to our cell block was because they’d been killed either during their mission or by the doctor on their return. And I know that! I do! But every time I see a male with black hair falling down in a mess around his shoulders, my heart freezes. For a minute I’m back there, with the doctor telling me that he chose to leave me behind and the… terror,” she finally said, having found the right word, “courses through me like it was happening all over again.”
“Have you seen him?” Acker asked.
“I don’t know! I don’t think so. I can’t remember exactly what he looked like. He was tall, with black hair and hazel eyes. I’ve blocked out so much of it. And we were all drugged regularly. I could be standing next to him and not know it. I see black hair and I panic.”
“What can I do?” Acker asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t even know if he’s alive. I think he’s dead, but if he’s not he deserves to be if he really did leave me behind,” Nina said frustratedly.
“Do you want me to help you find him? Find out if he really is dead?” Acker finally asked.
Nina’s mouth fell open. “No! Oh my God, no! You’re not understanding me. If he’s not dead, then he left me at will. I don’t want to find him, and I don’t want him to find me. I hope he is dead, at least one of us was released from this hell that we’ll never fully recover from. You realize that, right? We’ll never fully be free of all this shit!” she said, raising her hands in the air and shaking them as though there was filth clinging to them.
“I get nervous each time I think I may see someone that is him, because I don’t want him to even know I’m alive. The thought of him even laying eyes on me again makes me want to hide away in a secret room for the rest of my life so he can never, ever know what leaving me behind did to me. So he can never know how he affected me. So he can never…” Nina stopped talking when a sob overtook her words.
“So he can never call you his again,” Acker finished.
Nina looked at Acker and then nodded, her eyes filled with tears.
“If he’s alive, which I highly doubt from what you’ve told me, he can’t have you. You’re mine. Mine to protect, mine to love. Mine to make happy. I can’t stop you from being startled each time you see a large male with black hair, there are several of them I’ve noticed. But, I can promise you none of them will hurt you. None of them will claim you. And if any of them are stupid enough to try, I’ll kill them. No one will force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
Nina nodded. “I’m sorry. I heard myself trying to make you understand, but I sound like a crazy person. How can I blame a male that was captive just like I was? He had no more control than I did.”
“Sounds like he did a fairly good job of protecting you. I can’t believe that a male would go to all that trouble to just leave you behind. I think you were right the first time. I think he’s gone. I think the doctor knew that another way to break you would be to tell you, you were left behind.”
“I think he’s gone, too. Then I see someone who reminds me of him, and I get all freaked out. I don’t know what I’m feeling. It’s like feeling everything at once. All I know is I’m terrified when I see him, and just trying to tell you about it, I sound like a lunatic with all the completely unreasonable fears,” she said, regretting opening up.
“No, you don’t. You sound like someone who’s survived one trauma after another, and now your emotions are as jumpy as your nerves as a result. You’re not the only one. Lots of the very same people you see in here everyday are dealing with the same thing. They are angry one minute, happy the next, sad and nearly inconsolable the next.”
“That’s exactly how I feel. It’s like I’m on a merry-go-round, and each time it circles, I get hit with a different emotion.”
“I think it’s good that you’re talking about it. I’m always willing to listen, Nina. Always. And if I were you, maybe I’d just keep in mind that from time to time, you’re going to see males with similar coloring, and they’ll remind you of him. But it won’t matter, because you have me now. And I’m standing between you and anyone who sets his sights on you, until you tell me to go away. But maybe try to think of him in a more positive light. He protected you while he could,” Acker said.
Nina lifted her arm and allowed Acker to place her on his lap as he hugged her to him.
“I’m not telling you to go away,” she said.
“Then you’re stuck with me,” he answered, pressing his lips to her hair. He held her quietly for a few moments before broaching the subject of her not working in the office again. “Why don’t you wait a little longer before you start working in the offices here?” he asked as he
held her close and rubbed her back.
Nina shook her head. “I want to work, though. And he needs help now.”
Acker thought about it. “Well, you’ve met Law. Law is a big male, with dark hair, but not black hair.”
Nina nodded.
“Have you met Brutal?” he asked.
Nina shook her head.
“He’s a big male as well. He’s got black hair. Maybe if we introduce you to the males that fit the description, you’ll relax a little, knowing you’ve already seen them, met them, and they’re not him.”
“Maybe,” she said, thinking about it.
“I really think he’s dead, Nina. And even if he’s not, you’re safe here. He will not be allowed to be a part of our lives.”
“Okay. I’ll trust you on this, too.”
“You want to meet Brutal? He’s in charge of security for Alliance Ranch — a police chief if you will. You’re no doubt going to have him in the office at one time or another meeting with Roscoe since that’s who he will be reporting to,” Acker said.
“I suppose I should. At least then I won’t be caught off guard when I see him.”
Acker placed her back on her chair and stood, looking around the cafeteria. “I don’t see him, but he was here when we first came in. You want to go look for him and get it over with? I feel pretty safe introducing you to Brutal. I don’t get the feeling that he’s possessive over anything.”
“Okay,” Nina agreed. “Thank you for sitting through all my emotional baggage,” she said. “I feel better just from talking to you and working through some of it as I actually spoke it aloud.”
“I’m always willing to listen, Nina.”
“I don’t know how I got so lucky to be the one you focused on,” she said.
Acker held out his hand and waited while she stood and placed her hand in his. “It’s me who’s lucky. Let’s go find Brutal so you can see that there’s nothing to worry about.”
Together they left the building, on their way to find Brutal.
Beginnings Page 24
