I look around the shop before I close up and go back home to get ready for tomorrow. Who knows what that will bring?
It’s about two weeks later that I see Alyssa for the first time. She’s tried to ring me and text, but I never answer her messages. I don’t know what to say to her. I’m just in the car ready to leave for work, she’s sitting in her car in my driveway and has blocked me in.
“Mason, I need to talk to you… please?”
“Alyssa, I don’t want to talk to you. What part of fuck off don’t you understand?”
“I can’t believe you’re treating me like this. After everything we had together…”
“After everything we had together was a lie, Alyssa. A fucking lie. You betrayed me. Fuck off.”
“Look I’m not here to argue with you, I just wanted to try one more time to talk to you before I leave town.”
“Leave town? Are you running away?” I can’t believe she’s leaving. My gut drops.
“No, I’ve got nothing to run away from, Mason. My conscience is clear, but I did want to see you, can we go inside? I won’t stay longer than ten minutes, but I just want you to hear me out.”
I think about it. I don’t want her to leave town. I’ve missed her so much, it’s hard to breathe. But I don’t trust her. I know I need to listen to what she has to say though.
“Okay. You’ve got ten minutes.” Turning I go back inside the house and leave the door open for her to follow me. We stand at opposite ends of the breakfast bar, neither of us getting comfortable. “Say what you have to say, Alyssa, then leave.”
I can’t look at her. She’s so beautiful and my heart races with the anticipation of her lips meeting mine. But that’s not going to happen ever again, and I need to remember that deep down.
“When I started working with you, Richard asked me to report back on how well the company was doing. I guess he thought you didn’t know what you were doing, and he had plans for you to join his company.”
“So… you did sell me out. I fucking knew it. Get out!”
“Mason. You said I get ten minutes, so I’m taking ten fucking minutes of your time. Now shut the fuck up and let me speak.” Without any reason my dick gets hard at her words. Now is not the time to get an erection.
“I had dinner with them the first Sunday we got together if you remember and he asked me a few questions about Dirty Ink. I answered them all including how well you were doing and how you ran your company well and had all the systems set in place. He tried to dig up some dirt on you, but we’d already slept together so my loyalties lay with you.” She looks up at me. “I told him that I wouldn’t be a corporate spy for him and that he should just let you run your business your own way and not try to interfere and that you were doing a great job on your own. He hated it. He was mean to me and tried to ask me many times after that, but I wouldn’t give him any information. He threatened to get me expelled from my course and everything, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was you, Mason.”
I don’t know what to say. She’s breaking my heart all over again. I just don’t know whether what is coming out of her mouth is a good lie or the truth.
“Anyway, I wanted you to know that and to know that I didn’t betray you. I would never betray someone I loved, Mason. Never.” The tears are flooding her eyes and I can’t look at her because I know I’ll console her and take her in my arms and if I do that then I won’t let go, but I know that I can’t do that. I need to stay strong. They’re just words.
“You’ve said what you’ve got to say. Thanks. Now if you don’t mind, I have to get to work.”
“So, you’ve got nothing to say back to me, Mason? You still don’t believe me, do you?”
“Look… I don’t know what to believe anymore, Alyssa. I know what we had together and the feeling that you betrayed me will stay with me for a long time. I can’t get over that easily.”
“I didn’t betray you.” She holds her hands up. “Look, it doesn’t matter. I’ve said what I’ve come here to say. The rest is on you Mason. I hope you find what you’re looking for one day. I hope you’re happy in life. Someone will be very lucky to get you.” She comes towards me and leans up and kisses me on the cheek. Then she stands and looks at me for a minute before she shakes her head and walks out the door.
I’m too stunned to do anything. I can feel her lips on my cheek, searing into my soul.
When I finally shake myself and leave the house she has gone. I didn’t even ask her where she was going.
It’s difficult to concentrate at the shop today, all I can think about is the lasting feeling that I’ve made a big mistake. I shouldn’t have let her go today, not without finding out where she’s going. Then again, why would I bother? I’m so confused.
“Hey Dane, do you fancy going for a pint tonight straight from work? I need a few drinks.”
“Yeah, why not. I’ve two more tattoos to do then I’m yours.”
When we both finish, we close up shop and walk over to the pub. After we’ve had a few drinks, Dane asks “So why the drinks today? What happened?”
“Alyssa came over to the house this morning. She’s left town. She tried to convince me she wasn’t lying, but I just don’t know, man.”
“Maybe she was telling you the truth. Did you ever stop to think about that?”
“Why are you sticking up for her?”
“I liked her. I thought she helped us out and she was good to look at too.”
I growl. I still don’t like the thought that he was checking her out.
Dane goes to the bar and grabs another pint and a whiskey chaser… when he sits down, he wipes his palm over his face. “Right down this, then we need to talk.”
Looking at him confused, I down my whiskey and sit facing him. “What do you want to talk about? You’re not dating Alyssa, are you? I’ll fucking kill you if you are.”
He laughs. “Like she’d go out with me after you. No, but she is telling the truth, she didn’t sell you out to you dad. She didn’t tell him about how you run the business.”
“How do you know? How do you know she’s telling the truth now?
“Because it wasn’t her.” He stops talking for a minute, allowing this information to settle in my mind. “It was me.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “What the fuck do you mean? No way, you’re just taking the blame for her now.”
“No, mate.” He reaches out and puts his hand on my arm. I shrug him off. “Your dad came to me the second week Alyssa worked with us. He told me that he knew she wasn’t going to tell him what he wanted to know. He offered to buy you out and hand the deeds of the shop over to me.”
“What the fuck?” I reach over and grab his top and twist it bringing him closer to me. “What the fuck would you do that for?”
“Let me go, Mason. I’ll never be able to open my own shop. You’re the best around and I was hoping that your reputation would mean that even if you were gone, I’d still be able to make a decent living from Dirty Ink. It was nothing personal, I was just looking out for myself is all.”
“You selfish bastard, after everything I’ve done for you. I thought we were best friends. You don’t do that to your friends.” I stand up and walk out of the pub. Dane follows me.
“Mason, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I really thought your dad was doing the right thing for you. I know now that he wasn’t, and I wouldn’t want to have Dirty Ink without you anyway. I’m sorry. I stopped telling your dad stuff a week or so ago. He started asking questions about you and Alyssa and asked if you were in a relationship. I couldn’t look him in the eye and lie. I knew then that he was going to make both your lives hell. I’m sorry.” Before I can punch him, he walks down the road away from me.
What the fuck just happened??
It hits me out of the blue that I’ve pushed Alyssa away for no reason. She was telling the truth. She didn’t betray me. Why did I believe dad over her? Why didn’t I just listen to what she said?
I jump in my car and drive over to my family home. I haven’t been back here for a few years, so it feels strange going up the drive again. I just walk into the house without knocking and find Richard and Lisa having a drink after dinner.
“Mason, you decided to come work for me, I’m delighted.” Dad stands up and walks towards me.
“No, I haven’t. I never want to work for you. You have to understand that, or we will lose whatever family relationship we have. I don’t want to be at war with you all the time, but you’ve got to realise that I want this. I want Dirty Ink to be the best tattoo shop in the area, damn in the whole country. That’s my goal. You have your company and you want to make it the best you can, so you’ll understand how I feel about my shop.”
Dad sits back down again.
“I’m not here about Dirty Ink. I’m here about Alyssa. Where is she?”
“We don’t know.” Lisa says. “She left here the day after Richard went to your shop.”
“The day after? But that was a couple of weeks ago? Where has she been staying?”
“She came here that night and told us she was moving out. Richard agreed that he had manipulated her and that he had got his information somewhere else. She told us about your relationship. We were shocked but could see how much she loved you.”
“She loved me? Really?”
“She rang to say goodbye last night. She told us that she’s going to be gone for a while. She needs to sort her head out and try and stand on her own two feet. She doesn’t want to be beholden to Richard or I again. She told us she would be in touch and didn’t leave a forwarding address. I’m sorry, Mason.”
“Fuck. I need to find her. I need to tell her I’m sorry. Dane told me everything today and I was blindsided by you, Dad.”
“I’m sorry, Mason. I thought I knew what was best for you. I see now that it isn’t, and I just made the distance between us worse. I wish I could help you. I wish I could do something.”
“There is something you can do for me.”
“What?”
“Use your skills and contacts to find Alyssa. I need to tell her that I love her before it’s too late and she meets someone else. Please, Dad?”
Chapter Sixteen
Alyssa
It’s been two months since I last saw Mason. Well, two months, three days, four hours and fifty-five minutes, but who’s counting?
I guess I am. When I left his house that morning I climbed into my car and drove as far as my car would take me on a tank of petrol. I ended up in Scotland funnily enough with a stop on the way. Edinburgh is as far as you can get from London and everyone is so friendly here. I really like it. I’ve made a couple of friends and I’ve found a job as an Office Manager for an Insurance Company. I like it and it keeps me busy, sometimes late in the night. That gives me less time to think about Mason.
Thinking about him, opens the gash in my heart that he made. Billy, a guy at work, keeps asking me to go out for a drink with him, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to lead him on when I’m not interested in him. I’m not interested in any man.
When I first got here, I was really sick. I didn’t want to leave the small bedsit I had. I was puking for days and to be honest I thought I was pregnant, but I know that we used condoms all the time. I did get a little excited to think that I might have a small piece of Mason inside me, but then it would have meant that I was tied to him for life. Luckily it was just a bug of some sort and I started to feel better after a week or so. I think I was just run down.
My routine is the same most days. I go to the coffee shop near the office to get my morning kickstart. Then I go to work, stay later than everyone else, lock up and go home via takeaway. Nothing exciting, but that’s how I like life.
I haven’t spoken to Mum or Richard since I left. I want to get settled before I tell them where I am. It’s not their business and I want to prove to them that I don’t need them anymore. And because I don’t want to hear anything about Mason. I don’t want to know how he is. I don’t want to know if he’s moved on. No, I really don’t.
“Hey, Alyssa,” Jenny, the barista in the local coffee shop. “You seem miles away today. You okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine. Just thinking about home. Maybe it’s time for me to ring my mum and talk to her.”
“I know you’re running away from something, Alyssa. I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
“Thanks. I’m not ready to talk about it yet. But I know where you are when I am.”
She smiles at me and makes my coffee. I’m daydreaming and just staring into space. That’s what I do when I’m not working. I blink a few times because my eyes are playing up and the guy behind me in the queue looks just like Mason. How can someone looks so much like him? I can feel the electricity coursing through my veins at the thought that he’s this close to me. I smile at him and turn away. Maybe I had some cheese on the pizza last night and it was too late or something.
Jenny puts my coffee down and says, “That’s two pound please.”
Just as I reach into my pocket to give her the money, the guy beside me says, “It’s on me. I’ll take an americano please.”
I’d know that voice anywhere. It is Mason. It’s not just someone who looks like him. Mason is here. What the fuck is he doing here? Is this a coincidence?
“Are you over thinking things again, Alyssa?” He asks, smiling at me.
My mouth opens but nothing comes out.
“Close your mouth or I might find something to put in it.” He winks at me.
I don’t know what to say. I feel like I’m dreaming and if I blink, I’ll wake up and he won’t be there anymore.
Jenny looks between the two of us. “Alyssa, go sit down. I’ll bring your drinks over to you. You both look like you need to talk.”
Mason reaches out and takes my arm, steering me towards a table and chairs. I’m staring at him with my mouth open, still not believing that he really is here.
When I sit down, I take another look. “What are you doing here? Is this a coincidence?”
He laughs. “You think me turning up to a coffee shop that you frequent every day which is hundreds of miles from home is a coincidence.”
“Why else would you be here? You were quite clear the last time I spoke to you. You didn’t want to see me again.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I was an idiot. I should have believed you.”
“Yes, you should.”
“You’re not going to make it easy are you?”
“Make what easy, Mason? I’m confused.”
Jenny takes that moment to put our drinks on the table. “I’m over here, Alyssa, if you need me.”
I just nod.
“Alyssa, I’m sorry. I’ve been going out of my mind with worry looking for you. When I went to the house to find you, to apologise, and they told me they didn’t know where you were, I wanted to break down. Dad helped me to find you. We came to an understanding.”
“Why are you looking for me, Mason?”
He reaches across the table and takes my hand. My instinct is to pull it away, but it makes me feel warm.
Lifting it up he takes it to his lips and kisses it. He closes his eyes when he does. “I missed you so much. Even when I was angry, I missed you. Then when Dane told me everything… I went straight round to the house to find you. I shouldn’t have listened to Dad. I should have believed you and I’m sorry. I know you would never do anything like that to hurt me. Never.”
“No, I wouldn’t. I still don’t understand why you’re here.” I can feel a tear run out of my eye. I don’t want to get attached or get excited that he might want me. Maybe he is just looking for absolution.
“Baby, I love you. I want you in my life. I’m not whole without you. We are so good together. I told your mum and Richard that I love you. I told them that we’re not related and it’s not weird. I want you to come back to me, baby. Please?”
More tears flow down my face. I want to be excited. I want
to show him how happy I am, but something is stopping me. “Why?”
“I can’t live my life without you. I’ve been going demented looking for you and nothing has been the same without you. I miss the smiles you give me. I miss you wiggling your ass at me. I miss you in my bed and I miss you at work. Please, Alyssa, come home with me. Move in with me. Stay with me. Let me love you like I should.”
Wow.
“Do it Alyssa,” Jenny says as she stands next to us, crying.
“Yeah, do it Alyssa,” Mason says.
I nod my head, but don’t look up. He reaches out and puts his finger under my chin. “Say it out loud, Alyssa, so I don’t misunderstand you.
“Yes,” I whisper. It takes him nought point two seconds to haul me out of my chair and onto his lap. Then he kisses me as if he depends on me to live.
Chapter Seventeen
Alyssa
I’m a woman of my word and I couldn’t just walk out of my job, so I had to work my two weeks notice. Mason stayed for the first week, which was blissful. I can’t imagine my life without him in it. Even though he went home, we talk every day and facetime every night. He’s driving up to help me pack and bring all of my stuff home to his house. Our house. I’m so excited that I can’t wait.
My company were upset to see me go but understood under the circumstances. Mason arrives just as I’m finishing packing the last suitcase. “Hey, baby,” he says. “Let me in, I need to hold you. I’ve missed you.”
When I press the buzzer for him to come in, he takes the stairs two at a time. I’m waiting for him at the open door. He takes me in his arms and swings me around. “Are you really coming home tomorrow?”
“I sure am, but first we have tonight.” There are some leaving drinks for my job and Mason is coming with me.
No Limits: A Taboo Anthology Page 35
