by Renee Rose
“Then we’d like to offer you a full ride. But I’d need to know by the end of the week. I will email you the paperwork right now, so you can look it over.”
“Wow. Thank you so much. Really. This is very exciting.”
“It is, yes. We were so impressed with your entrance essay. It was really moving.”
My entrance essay? Huh. Interesting.
“Um, thank you. I look forward to your email.”
“Great. I’m sending it now. You have a great day, Natasha.”
I end the call and stare at the phone. Then I open my computer, which I haven’t done since I got back. My email box is full, and there are messages not just from the Illinois School of Naturopathy, but from seven others, all with similar stories. My application had been misplaced, but there’s still a place for me. Some offer money, some don’t.
I give a sob of joy. It feels like I just won the lottery. The thing I wanted that I never believed would happen just got handed to me on a platter.
And I know who made this happen.
Part of me wants to reject this gift Dima has given me, but how can I?
This is a dream come true!
I don’t know how he did it, but he is truly amazing.
I hold both my hands over my heart, which is contorting inside my chest. Why does knowing Dima cares feel so damn painful? Because I still can’t have him?
Yes. Exactly. I don’t want to open the door to this pain again.
I know I should go up to the penthouse to thank him personally. But I’m not ready to see him. Not without it tearing my heart out. I still love him too much. So much it burns to be near him. To relive his denial of me.
Of us.
I’ll give it some time. Get myself together.
Maybe I’ll write an old-fashioned thank you note and mail it to him.
I open the blinds in my bedroom and something different about the view makes me pause.
I gasp. A giant banner is hanging on the building across the way at exactly the same level as my window.
In huge, red capital letters, it reads, I LOVE YOU, NATASHA. My stomach surges up to my throat. What? Below it, in a script, it says, You are my everything.
I cover my mouth with my hand as a flood of emotion threatens to knock me over. Love, grief, laughter, tears—it all rushes out at once.
“Dima!” I gasp.
What is this? Is he saying he does want me? A lump grows in my throat.
“Natasha!” my mother calls from the living room.
My tummy flutters. I guess there’s no keeping this from her now. I steel myself. But when I come out, she’s looking out a different window—one that faces the lake.
“What is it?” I ask.
“What does that sign say?” she demands, pointing.
“What sign?”
“There’s a plane with a sign. What does it say?”
I stand beside my tiny but fierce mother. Sure enough, a tiny plane loops around near the shoreline, carrying a banner behind it that reads, I love you, Natasha.
“Mama,” I murmur, unable to stop the tears.
“Who did this?” My mother turns, looking elated. “Alex?”
“Not Alex. Dima.”
“Dima?” Her smile fades. “From upstairs?”
My spine straightens, and I lift my chin. “Yes. He’s a good person,” I say defensively. “He’s fiercely loyal, and he loves deeply. He would do anything for the people he loves.”
My mother stares at me, eyes wide. “You’re… seeing this man? He is bratva.”
“I know.” I draw a breath. Until this moment, I was still holding back. Still protecting my heart from getting torn to shreds again. But the act of convincing my mom makes me realize that Dima is worth risking everything for.
Worth trying again.
Without any more explanation, I grab the keycard to get to the penthouse and walk out to the elevator.
As it surges upward, my heart pounds in my temples, my wrists, my throat.
I’m terrified and certain at the same time. I’ve never wanted anything more, and yet I can’t take any more heartache, either.
The elevator stops at the top and the doors slide open.
“Dima.”
He’s standing there, waiting for me. He knew I was coming. Of course he did—that’s his job.
I stumble out of the elevator straight into him. After a split second of surprise, his arms bind around me, and he holds me as tightly as he did at the parking garage.
“Natasha,” he murmurs. “Forgive me. I never meant to hurt you, sweetheart. You’re all that matters to me. I know it didn’t seem that way.”
“No,” I speak against the soft cotton of his black shirt. “It did. But you also kept pushing me away.”
“Never again,” he swears “I’m all in with you now, amerikanka. If you’ll have me.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. I’ll tell you about Alyona now. But only if you want. Whatever you want.” His lips are in my hair, his hands stroking up and down my back. “I’m yours, Natasha. I’m sorry I wasn’t ready before, but I am now.”
I lift my face from his chest and pull his head down to mine, claiming his mouth.
He lets me kiss him for a moment, then he takes over, grasping the back of my head and angling his face to deepen the kiss. His tongue slips between my lips, dancing with mine. He pulls away and brushes the backs of his fingers across my cheek.
I realize the little ring is gone from his pinkie finger. I pull his fingers away to be sure.
“You took it off.”
He nods. “I said goodbye and left it in the woods where we saw the doe.”
I kiss his fingers. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
He laces his fingers through mine. “It was a long time ago. I just didn’t know how to move on until you kneed me in the balls.”
“I never did that,” I say with a smile.
“No.” His eyes are warm as he cradles my face. “You were always kind. I was the asshole. Can I… will you…” He stabs his fingers through his air with a rueful smile. “I don’t have a clue how to do this. May I take you on a date?”
I laughed. “A date?”
He winces. “It’s backward, isn’t it? I’ve already sucked you dry without giving a thing in return. But...I’d like to remedy that. Can we start over? Go to dinner? Get married? Have little redheaded babies?” He tilts his head to catch my gaze. “Too soon for that?”
Warmth curls everywhere in my body and tiny explosions of joy burst in my chest. He wants me. He’s all in. “A little.” I bring my hands to his chest, leaning into him. “How did you get me into naturopathy school?”
“A magician never reveals his secrets.”
“Fair enough.” I smile.
“Are you going to go?”
I catch my breath. Am I? I just found out the guy I’m crazy about wants to be with me. Is it really the right time to move away for four years?
As if he guesses at my hesitation, he covers both my hands. “If you’re worried about us, we’d figure it all out—no problem. Of all of Ravil’s men, I’m the only one perfectly able to work remotely.”
He said us. There’s an us.
I still can’t believe it.
“Ever since Ravil broke the bratva code to marry Lucy, all the brotherhood or death rules seem to have gone out the window. He just let Pavel go to be with his girlfriend in L.A.. Maxim has a wife. Oleg’s girlfriend lives with us.” Dima shrugs. “I don’t see why I couldn’t move out, too.”
I beam at him, wings flapping in my chest. “You’d come with me? Really?”
“Natasha, I’m all in. I want to be with you—any way you’ll have me.”
I try to imagine what it would be like to have Dima with me at naturopathy school. Coming home to him typing away on his computer in the living room. Watching movies. Cooking together. I couldn’t imagine anything better.
“One more question—what happened to my student lo
ans?”
I brace myself, afraid to hear he committed a felony in my name, but he touches my nose and says, “I just paid them off with my savings. I figured you’d want me to go legit with them.”
“Wow. Thank you,” I breathe. “I hope you don’t think you’ve bought me now.” I don’t mean it. He had me at date. Paying off my forty thousand dollars worth of student loans will definitely buy me—body and soul.
He cups my nape and massages it. “I plan on working my ass off to prove what you mean to me—any way I can.”
My eyelashes get damp. “You already have.”
“Come here.” Dima scoops me up into his arms and carries me toward his bedroom.
I loop my arms around his neck, laughing. “Where are we going?”
“I need to taste you.” His eyes darken.
“I need to taste you back,” I murmur as he pushes open the door.
Epilogue
Dima
Natasha squeezes my hand as we stand with Nikolai in front of the door to the apartment where we grew up.
I glance at my twin, my stomach a tight drum, guilt and shame crowding me from all directions.
He shrugs. “It will be what it will be.”
Right.
He lifts his fist and knocks at the door, then pushes it open without waiting for an answer. “Mama?”
Our mother is sitting on the couch, watching television on the giant flat-screen I arranged for her to win. She looks the same, only so much older. Wrinkles line her face, and her hair is more grey than blonde.
She shrieks, falling backward on the couch as we enter the apartment.
“We’re alive, mama. I’m sorry you thought we were dead.” I speak in Russian, getting the words out quickly in case she thinks she’s hallucinating or that we’re ghosts.
Making a soft lowing sound like a wounded animal, she scrambles to her feet, and Nikolai and I rush to help her.
“My boys!” She’s weeping already. She hugs us both at the same time. “My boys. How is this possible? What happened? I don’t understand.”
I can’t stop the sob from hurtling up my throat. What we did to our poor mother was unforgivable. How she must’ve grieved, living all alone all these years.
“I love you, Mama,” is all I can choke out.
“We joined the bratva,” Nikolai explains. “And they don’t allow any family. We had to fake our deaths.”
“I lost you, but here you are!”
We hold our mother through her sobs of joy, Nikolai and I shamelessly crying with her.
“Who is this?” she asks, noticing Natasha.
“This is my new girlfriend, Natasha.” I hold my hand out to Natasha, and she joins our little circle. “She helped bring me back from the dead.” I tuck my beautiful girl against my side and drop a kiss on the top of her head. “Natasha, this is our mother, Maria.”
Natasha extends a hand to my mother and tells her it’s wonderful to meet her in Russian.
“I’m sorry, Mama. So sorry you suffered.”
My mother draws herself up. “I knew you couldn’t be dead,” she tells us with conviction. “They never found the bodies—why were there no bodies? I said. Nobody listened to me, but a mother knows if her sons are dead, and I never believed you were dead.”
Natasha gives my mother a secret smile. “You knew,” she affirms.
“Da. And I always felt like someone was watching out for me. All these prizes I won—that was you, wasn’t it?”
I draw my mom in for another hug. “Of course we looked out for you.”
“I knew it!” our mother says triumphantly. “So,” she spreads her hands. “Where have you been?”
“America,” Nikolai tells her. “And we have to go back. But we can move you into our building if you like. Everyone speaks Russian—you would fit in just fine.”
I can tell by my mother’s face she doesn’t love the idea.
“Or you can stay here, and we can call and visit.”
She bobs her head, then gives Natasha a smile. “I will come to America for your wedding. Are you going to marry this beautiful girl?”
“Yes,” I say immediately, even though I haven’t asked her yet.
Natasha tips her face up to mine.
“If she’ll have me,” I murmur to her.
She accepted the scholarship to the Illinois School of Naturopathy, and Ravil’s given me leave to move with her. I found us a nice apartment close to campus, and it’s only a three hour drive from Chicago, so I can come back to get my orders from Ravil, and she can visit her mom.
“Tell me that wasn’t your proposal,” Natasha teases.
“Definitely not. I’m working on something far sweeter.” I wink, and she flushes with obvious pleasure. It’s so easy to make her happy. Dark chocolate bars and a few orgasms a night seem to keep the smile on her face, but I’m working overtime to keep proving she’s not my fallback.
“Are you receptive to such a proposal?” My pulse quickens even though I’m almost certain of her answer.
She gives me one of those adoring looks I don’t deserve and nods.
I beam at my mother. “Looks like you’ll be coming to visit us soon, then.”
My mother throws her arms open and pulls Natasha into a warm embrace. “You’ve made me so happy. I’m so happy right now.” She starts crying her tears of joy again, and this time Natasha joins her.
My mom ushers us into her newly remodeled kitchen—thanks to another prize I arranged for her to win—and opens a bottle of wine. We catch up with her for an hour and let her feed us. When she brings out another bottle of wine, I fish a bar of chocolate out of my travel bag and place it in the middle of the table in front of Natasha.
She opens it, breaking off a piece, then offering it to my mother.
When my mom breaks off a piece, the ring I had embedded drops to the table.
“What is this?” my mother exclaims.
Natasha gasps. “Something sweeter!” She puts it together immediately and reaches for the ring. It’s caked with chocolate—maybe not my smartest move—but that doesn’t seem to bother her. She puts it in her mouth to lick it clean, then slides the three-diamond band on her finger.
Nikolai nudges the chocolate bar in her direction and she peels back the wrapper to reveal the question I had printed on the inside.
Marry me, Natasha.
She laughs. “Is that a question or an order?”
I pick up her hand. “Please say yes.”
“Yes!” she exclaims, eyes watering.
My mother bursts into tears once more, and there’s a round of congratulations while I kiss my sweet Natasha.
“I love you,” she whispers.
“You’re mine,” I tell her, planting a soft kiss on her lips. “And I’m yours.” I may have held myself back in the beginning, but I will never do it again.
I’m not sure I ever had a purpose in life before, but I have one now—it’s making Natasha happy. I almost lost my place in her heart, and I won’t make that mistake again.
“To love and to having my sons back,” my mom says, raising her glass.
We all repeat the toast and clink glasses, the joy of the moment making up for the years of sorrow, bringing light to our darkness, healing all the places we were broken.
For a special bonus epilogue, please join my newsletter and get access to bonus scenes: https://www.subscribepage.com/rrbonus
Thank you for reading The Hacker. If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a review—they make such a difference for indie authors. Be sure to read Nikolai’s story next.
Want More? The Bookie
Her brother owes the bratva money.
I’ll take her instead.
* * *
Get The Bookie now
Want FREE Renee Rose books?
Go to http://subscribepage.com/alphastemp to sign up for Renee Rose’s newsletter and receive a free copy of Alpha’s Temptation, Theirs to Protect, Owned by the Marine, Theirs to Punish, The A
lpha’s Punishment, Disobedience at the Dressmaker’s and Her Billionaire Boss. In addition to the free stories, you will also get special pricing, exclusive previews and news of new releases.
Other Titles by Renee Rose
Chicago Bratva
“Prelude” in Black Light: Roulette War
The Director
The Fixer
“Owned” in Black Light: Roulette Rematch
The Enforcer
The Soldier
The Hacker
The Bookie
* * *
Vegas Underground Mafia Romance
King of Diamonds
Mafia Daddy
Jack of Spades
Ace of Hearts
Joker’s Wild
His Queen of Clubs
Dead Man’s Hand
Wild Card
* * *
Contemporary
Daddy Rules Series
Fire Daddy
Hollywood Daddy
Stepbrother Daddy
* * *
Master Me Series
Her Royal Master
Her Russian Master
Her Marine Master
Yes, Doctor
* * *
Double Doms Series
Theirs to Punish
Theirs to Protect
* * *
Holiday Feel-Good
Scoring with Santa
Saved
* * *
Other Contemporary
Black Light: Valentine Roulette
Black Light: Roulette Redux
Black Light: Celebrity Roulette
Black Light: Roulette War
Black Light: Roulette Rematch
Punishing Portia (written as Darling Adams)
The Professor’s Girl
Safe in his Arms
* * *
Paranormal
Two Marks Series
Untamed
Tempted
