Climbing Fear

by Leisl Leighton

  It was embarrassing to feel so out of control, but even more embarrassing when she caught Barb looking at her with an amused expression on her face on the second day of camp. She quickly wiped the goofy expression off her face as she watched Reid with Tilly and a few of the other children. Damn it! Now there was no getting Barb off the scent. She was just grateful Barb chose not to say something.

  But even that worry didn’t stop her from drifting off into daydreams about him, about them together. Images of their nights of ten years ago flashed before her eyes. Oh god. They were older now, more aware of their bodies, their likes and dislikes, what they were doing. They had experience. Reid had a lot of experience. If he had driven her insane with passion last time, she could only imagine what it would be like now. And he was even more built than before. Her mouth watered and her breasts tingled just thinking of those wide shoulders and tapered hips, the long, lean muscles of his thighs and arms that she’d seen so clearly when they were swimming. They’d felt so good when she’d touched them through his t-shirt. It would be even better running her hands over his firm, hot skin. And his hands. The way he’d touched her, his fingers firm, skimming and pushing into her skin in just the right way that made her nerves turn to fire and the fire to centre in her womb and become a flooding warmth that pulsed and built and built and—

  ‘Nat. Nat! Where’s the oats? Don’t tell me we don’t have any. I’m pretty sure there was at least two bags in there this morning when I made the batch that’s just been hoovered by the hordes.’

  Nat’s head snapped up and heat flooded her face. Oh god! She’d almost had an orgasm in the pantry. Thankfully, nobody was around. Although, going by that yell, if she didn’t get a move on, Barb was coming in after her. Nat started looking for the oats Barb needed to make some more Anzac biscuits for tomorrow. The horde of kids had already gone through the platters that had been put out for them, as well as everything Barb had cooked this morning—the country air enlarging already large appetites to enormous proportions—and Barb wanted to bake double the amount for tomorrow. She pulled her attention back to what she was doing, thanking god and the mother and whoever else was to thank for the fact she’d had that little fantasy session in the privacy of the pantry where Barb and other sticky beaks wouldn’t be able to comment on the strange look she had on her face or the noise she was pretty certain she’d made when thinking about Reid and his muscles and his hands and what he could do with them. Attention on the job at hand. She took stock and looked around her. ‘There’s three big bags here,’ she yelled out the open door behind her.

  ‘Can you bring out two please?’

  ‘Sure.’ Right. See, she could do this. No more fantasising or daydreaming about men who knew how to touch her and kiss her until she was a melted puddle of longing and unfulfilled sensation.

  ‘Natalia! Can you also bring out the golden syrup please? The tin out here’s just run out.’

  ‘Oh hell.’ She fanned her face and yelled, ‘I’ll have to come back and get it. These bags are huge and heavy.’ She lugged two into her arms, grunting.

  ‘Here, let me help.’

  She spun. ‘Steve.’ One of the bags began to slip and she tried to catch it, but the other one tipped the other way. ‘Shit.’

  Steve lunged forward and steadied them both before taking them from her. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.’

  With no bags of oats in her arms, she crossed them in front of her, suddenly aware of the confined space in the pantry and how close he was standing. ‘You didn’t scare me.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘Well, you did, but not in a horror movie kind of way.’

  He snorted. ‘Glad to hear it. It’s nice to know I don’t rate as a horror movie killer.’

  She grimaced. ‘Sorry, that came out wrong. I just mean, you made me jump because I didn’t hear you come in behind me is all, not because you really scared me.’

  He shrugged and hoisted the bags of oats under one arm, seemingly unconcerned about their weight. ‘I’m glad. I’d hate to scare you.’ He smiled, his gaze roving over her face.

  ‘What? Have I got flour on my face or something?’ She rubbed her cheek.

  ‘No. I just can’t help feeling I’ve seen you somewhere before.’

  A chill ran down her spine. ‘Oh. You’ve probably seen me in the news earlier this year.’ She wanted to move past him, out of the confined space of the pantry—she couldn’t remember it being so small. She hadn’t felt comfortable in tight spaces with other people since Andrew locked them in the wardrobe that one time he was having an episode where he thought enemy soldiers were in their bedroom.

  ‘No. I don’t think that’s it at all. I don’t get much of a chance to watch the news.’ His face brightened and he clicked his fingers. ‘I know. Reid’s got a photo of you at his apartment. You’re a bit younger in the photo, but it’s definitely you.’

  ‘He has a photo of me?’ He’d kept a photo of her all these years?

  ‘Aye. You’re standing in between Flynn and Reid and you’re all laughing at the camera. It’s a really nice photo.’

  ‘Oh.’ It was stupid to feel so deflated, as if she’d hoped he’d kept a photo of her alone, not because it had his uncle in it. ‘We better get those oats out to Barb before she starts yelling for them again.’

  He didn’t move. ‘Actually, I just wanted to have a quick word with you and ask how Reid’s doing.’

  ‘Fine. Why?’

  ‘Nothing really. He just wasn’t in a good place when he came here. Luke’s death and the injury to his shoulder and his inability to climb really took their toll on him. I tried to get him to talk about it, but he wouldn’t, not even when I talked about my grief with him. I don’t know if you’re aware, but Luke and I were together for a while.’

  ‘No, I didn’t know that.’

  He nodded. ‘We’d been broken up for some time before the accident, so it wasn’t like we were still together or anything, but Reid was there for me when I needed it, and I want to be there for him too, but he won’t open up. I was wondering, given you both seem so close, if he had said anything to you.’

  ‘Little bits. But not much.’

  He frowned. ‘Do you know if he’s gone through Luke’s things? I know he brought them here and thought it might mean he was going to go through them and, you know, face some of the stuff he’s bottling.’

  ‘The things that were in the chest?’

  ‘Yes. That’s right, it was Luke’s chest.’

  She shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. The chest was in my cottage and I took the things out of it, not knowing they were Luke’s, but when I found out, I gave them to Reid. I don’t think he’s had time to look at them though.’

  ‘Oh, uh. Did you happen to find a couple of wooden statues in the chest when you emptied it?’

  ‘Yes. But I gave them to Reid with the other things.’ She clicked her fingers. ‘Reid said they were yours. How did they get in there?’

  He blanched. ‘Mine? Gods no. Not my thing at all. They belong to Luke’s parents. Luke told Reid I’d bought them as a joke when he caught him with them. You see, Luke stole them from his parents.’

  ‘He what?’

  ‘Yeah, he was pretty miffed at them. You know they’d made things difficult for him since he became famous.’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t know.’

  ‘Really?’ He seemed shocked. ‘I thought everyone knew about how Luke’s parents sold him out to the media multiple times, about the rift between them and everything.’

  ‘No.’ She had made a point of avoiding anything that might have mentioned Reid, especially given Andrew’s jealousy about anything to do with her past and how much CoalCliff had meant to her. Although, occasionally when she was over picking Tilly up at the neighbours and they were watching an episode, she’d stay and chat and watch surreptitiously too.

  ‘Aye, things were bad. But he’d go home and try to make it up every now and then and the last time he went, it lasted for a day before he came back, t
he statues in his luggage. He said they were family heirlooms. His great grandfather who was a bit of an adventurer, brought them back from some African tribe he lived with for a while. They’re worth a fair bit and Luke said his parents were going to hock them. I don’t know if you knew, but Luke’s parents are alcoholics.’

  ‘Yeah, I do remember that.’

  ‘So, anyway, he did it just before he died, and now they want them back. They’ve been sending letters from their lawyer and I’ve been keeping it from Reid, for obvious reasons, but the whole thing’s about to blow up and go public if I don’t return what he stole.’

  ‘I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with that.’

  ‘Better me than Reid.’

  ‘Yes, but you were close to him too.’

  ‘Aye, I was, but Luke wouldn’t want this to touch Reid, so if you could help, that would be great.’

  ‘Of course. How?’

  ‘Have you got any idea where he might have put them?’

  ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask. I didn’t see them at his place the other night when I stayed there after the break-in, so I don’t think he’s got them on display.’

  ‘No, I don’t imagine he has. They’re not really his thing.’

  ‘I’m surprised they’re anyone’s thing. They’re a bit over the top.’

  ‘It takes all sorts.’ He half turned away. ‘Damn it. I really didn’t want to have to ask Reid about them. I know how angry he used to get about Luke’s parents and what they put him through.’ His frown deepened. ‘When the whole drug thing came out after Luke’s death, Reid said to me he was pretty sure Luke’s parents had driven him to it with what they’d done to him. What they’re threatening to do now to Luke’s memory …’ He shook his head. ‘I don’t want to think about how Reid will react to that.’ He looked down, shifted the bags to in front of him.

  ‘I can ask him about them, if you like? He wouldn’t think anything about that. Maybe I can even say I want them?’ Although she wasn’t sure he’d believe that.

  ‘Could you? That would be amazing.’

  ‘Sure.’

  His smile was wide and generous and made him look quite boyish. ‘Thanks. You’re a gem. I can see why Reid’s fallen hard for you.’ He patted the bags in front of him. ‘I better get this out to Barb.’ He left, leaving her standing there, mind spinning.

  Chapter 18

  Reid had fallen hard for her? He was attracted to her, sure, but more than that? No. It wasn’t possible. And even if it was, even if he did feel something more than attraction, did that mean anything? She wasn’t sure.

  ‘Barb’s afraid you’ve fallen down a rabbit hole.’

  ‘Reid.’

  He was smiling as he walked closer to her and looked around. ‘Hiding?’

  ‘No. Why would I be hiding?’

  ‘I don’t know. You’ve just been in here for a long time.’

  ‘Steve and I were talking.’

  He sidled closer, his arms going around her. ‘About what? Do I need to be worried?’

  ‘No. Please don’t be jealous.’

  ‘I was joking.’ The humour left his face. ‘I’m sorry. He used to get jealous, didn’t he?’

  She hesitated, not wanting to talk about it, but then realised she needed to be truthful with him. ‘Yes. I told him I loved him and he could trust me, but it never seemed to make any difference. It got worse when he got back from Afghanistan, after he was injured.’

  He cupped her face in his hands. ‘Hey. I trust you. You never have to doubt that. And I promise, I won’t make any stupid jokes like that again, okay?’

  ‘Okay.’ She covered his hands with hers, sliding her fingers down to grip his wrists, thumbs rubbing along the thick tendons and warm skin. ‘I trust you too.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘So, what were you talking about?’

  ‘Nothing much. Just a bit about Luke. Speaking of which, I was wondering what you did with those wooden carvings? I didn’t notice them at your place.’

  He snorted. ‘You wouldn’t believe it, but Gran saw them when I asked if I could store Luke’s things with her for a while.’

  ‘Why would you store them there? I thought you were going to go through them? Face the past, and all that.’

  He looked a bit sheepish. ‘I just couldn’t go through it by myself. So I asked Gran if I could bring them over to her place and go through it with her. We started but didn’t get any further than the carvings. They made her laugh so hard, she asked if she could keep them in her bedroom.’ His face went bright red. ‘She actually said some things about her and Grandpa that I wish I could un-hear.’ He shuddered.

  ‘Poor Reid,’ she said, patting his cheeks, stroking her hands through his hair. ‘It must be horrible to realise your gran had sex.’

  He stuck his hands in his ears. ‘I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear it.’

  She laughed and took his hands away from his ears, keeping hold of them, running her thumbs over the backs. He had such lovely, strong, masculine hands, the nails short and blunt, the calluses that marked the pads of his fingers and palms rough but so goddamned sexy. A shuddering sigh eased out of her and she licked her lips.

  He sucked in a breath. ‘You better stop touching me like that or I’m not going to be able to walk back out in front of those kids.’

  She glanced down, a smile playing on her lips. ‘Really?’ It was strange to think she affected him that way so quickly. She felt giddy with the power of it.

  ‘Damn.’ He pulled her closer and his lips met hers. She sank into him without thinking, giving herself over to the euphoria, the flames. God, kissing him was addictive, better than any drug anyone could ever take, and after days of virtual abstinence, she was going to indulge to the full while she could. His tongue swept over her lips and she opened, letting him inside, tasting the heady dark richness that was Reid, delighting in the press of hard muscle against her stomach, her breasts, her hands. She was burning up inside—was the pantry on fire?

  ‘Echem!’

  They shot apart. Barb stood at the pantry door, a crooked smile on her face. ‘Sorry to interrupt what is obviously a fascinating face-to-face conference, but I really need the golden syrup.’

  ‘Here.’ Reid grabbed a tin off the shelf and passed it to her. ‘We’ll be out in a moment.’

  ‘Don’t hurry. By the way, Lisa’s back. The doctor gave her the all clear so she decided to come and help with the lighting of the Christmas tree and the BBQ. The kids are already out at the tree putting the decorations on before we light it and then we’ll start the BBQ. The tree is going to look wonderful this year—Mac and Ben did an amazing job stringing the lights and it’s going to look bloody brilliant when it’s lit tonight.’ She wiped the corner of her eye. ‘I look forward to this all year, sitting around the tree, watching the lights flicker, singing carols and drinking our hot chocolates and eggnog and eating the pudding the ladies and I have prepared. Bob always loved singing around the winter bonfires melting marshmallows, but I always love singing carols around the Christmas tree drinking eggnog and eating pudding the best.’

  She looked around the pantry, a misty look in her eyes, tucked the tin of golden syrup under her arm and patted her hair. ‘You know, speaking of Bob, he and I used to duck in here to have a bit of face-to-face time too.’ She winked as Reid stuck his fingers in his ears again and groaned. ‘It’s good to see the old pantry is still seeing a bit of action, even though it’s not mine.’ She winked, her smile sparking with affection and laughter. ‘Now Lisa’s back, you’re both free tonight to do whatever you want after we finish at the Christmas tree.’ She waggled her eyebrows at them. ‘Emphasis on the after. So don’t be too long now. We want to keep the fire for the BBQ.’ Her chuckle wove around them as she disappeared out the door.

  ‘That was embarrassing,’ Nat said. ‘What must she think?’

  ‘I think she’s too busy reminiscing about time spent in here with Grandpa to think about us.�
� He shuddered. ‘That’s an image I wish I could flush out of my head.’

  Nat giggled and stroked his face. ‘I love the way you make me laugh. You’ve always been able to do that, even when I didn’t feel like it.’

  ‘Your laugh is one of my favourite sounds.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Really.’

  She bit her lip, afraid she was going to cry again. His gaze darted down to her lips, the heat in them setting her ablaze. ‘Reid.’

  ‘Natalia.’

  Then his lips were on hers and everything went up in flames.

  Nat touched her lips, the coolness of her fingers doing nothing to stop the burn of warmth Reid’s mouth had created against hers. The kiss had been too short—Tilly had come looking for them, thankfully calling out before bowling into the pantry so they were able to untangle themselves—but that was okay. They wouldn’t be interrupted tonight.

  Tonight. They’d made plans to meet after everyone was in bed and she couldn’t wait. Just the thought of what would come after the next kiss made her tingle from her scalp to her toes and sigh. Oh god. Had she just made that sound out loud? Had anyone noticed? Not just the kids, but the locals who had come for the tree lighting event too.

  Thankfully, they were all too busy finishing off decorating the tree and stuffing their mouths with the sausages and lamb chops that Reid and Mac were cooking on the BBQ and the delicious salads that Barb and Maureen and the other helpers in the kitchen had prepared. She finished off her plate of food and then wrangled some kids to help her clean up so the space would be ready for when night finally fell and they were able to light the tree.