by Nana Malone
Jax pointed inside. "You see what I mean? She's not even that interested in the baby. Her baby that she supposedly came back for. She's not interested."
"She's frustrated, okay? Imagine you've gone away and come back and found that your child had a new family."
"A family she gave her. My directive is clear. Keep you safe. Keep Mayzie safe. Nothing else matters."
"Well nothing is black and white like that. You can't go your whole life thinking that way."
"I can’t believe you said that." He stepped into my space.
I resisted the urge to back up and craned my neck up to blink at him. "What?"
"You. Everything has to be just so. And then the one time where thinking in black and white would make a lot of sense, where it would actually save your ass, you can't bring yourself to pull it off."
"Look, I'm doing the best that I can here." I shoved down the instinct not to trust Willa. She was back for her daughter.
"She's back at a convenient time. Danger is all around. There is something she wants, and you have to recognize that. Wake up. She is not your mate."
"What happened to make you so fucking cold?" The words escaped and part of me wished I could recall them.
He flinched as if I'd hit him. "I'm not cold."
Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. "Maybe cold is the wrong word. But distant. There is something so remote about you. That part of you that can't see that this is a good thing. That this is good for Mayzie. I am not her mother."
He slapped a hand on the railing as he crowded me. "Well maybe you bloody should be."
It was my turn to flinch. That secret wish. The one inside when I watched Mayzie sleep. The one I held onto when she would give me her baby grin, full of all three toothlets, and she would excitedly talk to me as if she was saying something of vital importance. Could I give that up?
Was I supposed to? I had no idea what to do. I hadn’t intentionally fallen for Mayzie. But one look at her, and I was lost. Was Jax right? Should I be her mother? Or was I supposed to be her auntie?
Her mother is back. You are no one’s mother.
I swallowed hard against that truth. "No, I shouldn't be. Her mother is back, and now we have to deal with those consequences."
I rushed past him, leaving him behind on the balcony.
Eleven
Jax…
She couldn’t see it.
I was willing to wager she’d been more of a mother to Mayzie in a month than Willa had ever been.
She was being stubborn about it. Why? Why wouldn’t she see?
I followed her inside. Mayzie had already started to nod off back in the confines of her playpen. Willa just continued watching television. Mayzie would never sleep properly with the noise, so I picked her up and took her into the other bedroom before heading for Neela’s room.
Willa didn’t even blink. Did you expect her to?
I didn’t bother knocking on the closed bedroom door but instead just barged in.
Neela scowled at me. “What the hell, Jax? I need a minute.” She turned then, away from me.
Maybe if I was cool and rational she’d see sense. I’d lost my temper before. Also, I wanted to make it impossible for Willa to listen in. I knew for a fact the walls were thick in this hotel.
“I’m sorry. But right now, you and I are the only ones looking out for Mayzie, so we need to be on the same page.”
She whirled around, and I could see the shimmer of tears in her eyes.
I was an arse. I’d made her cry. “Shit, Neela…”
“You think I don’t feel it? Like she’s mine? Of course I feel it.” Her voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “All these feelings only to have Willa waltz back in here like my life hasn’t changed forever.”
Two strides and I had her in my arms. I cocooned her to me like I could keep the scary things away.
Lies. Because the truly scary thing was in the bloody living room at the moment. Didn’t matter though. As long as she let me hold her, I could give her false comfort.
She held on to me tight, her softness pressed into me. “Why can’t you be real? Why can’t any of this be real instead of a nightmare? I’m awake and watching the things I want slowly being ripped away from me.”
My hands shook. She was so soft. The scent of honey and lime wrapping around me as always. My voice was harsh when I said, “I’m very real. And I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to go.”
Her voice barely above a whisper, she said, “I don’t want you to go.”
My fingers glided over the small of her back in the barest hint of a caress. Electricity shot through my body like I’d been struck by bloody lightning. Or at the very least stuck my finger in a socket.
I only ever felt like this with her. Anyone that came before was a mere shadow in comparison.
“Jax…”
My name was a question. “Neela, if I touch you again, I’m not letting you go. I don’t want to go back to pretending.”
I willed the words I wanted to hear. At least it felt that way. “I know. I’m scared.”
I could assure her that I’d keep her safe, but I knew what she was really saying. “Me too.”
Neela stepped back and unzipped her skirt, easing it past her hips. I had to force myself to swallow around the desert in my mouth. Fuck.
She let the silk fall to the floor. A low hiss issued through my teeth.
"Are you going to help me with this top? I had a bitch of a time getting these two little hooks done."
I couldn’t help the smile tugging at my lips. “Oh, you need my help, do you?”
“Yes. This is one of those times it’s okay to boss me around.”
My mouth opened, but no sound came out. I shut it. Opened it again in another attempt. Still no sound. Third time's the charm.
This time as I spoke, my voice was distorted. Low. Guttural. "You want me in charge, Neela?"
She stepped forward again, closing the gap between us. "Yes.”
There was a low humming sound, like a purr. It took me a moment to realize I’d been the one making it. She wanted me bossy and in charge.
Fair enough. Like an animal let loose from my chain I lunged for her.
I moved quickly, and her breath chased out of her lungs in a rush, leaving her gasping.
When I deposited her on the bed, I muttered prayers of thanks. She was mine.
And I intended to do what I could to keep it that way.
Neela…
Jax looked like he wanted to eat me.
That wouldn’t be a bad thing. Remember the last time.
Heat suffused my skin when I thought about the last time his mouth was on me.
Jax’s gaze tracked all over me, hungry, lingering on my breasts. Instead of starting with my breasts as I anticipated, his hands went to my hair.
I expected him to be firm, possessive, but he was so tender. Gently he massaged and stroked slow circles at my temples. "Neela, you are so bloody beautiful,” he murmured.
His breath was a whisper with mine before his lips brushed over my mouth. His kiss was soft at first. Coaxing even. With one arm bracing the majority of his weight and the other scooping under me to adjust my position, he settled me at a better angle.
Hand still cupping my ass, he deepened the kiss, taking long drugging pulls at my lips and eliciting a moan out of me. He licked into my mouth, intoxicating me.
I arched my body under his and could feel the length of his erection nudging at my hip. Begging for attention.
When Jax trailed his lips along my jawline to my neck, his teeth grazed my skin, and I shivered.
My hands trailed up his back, and his muscles bunched and flexed under my touch. I’d seen his muscles so many times. I’d fantasized about him, running my hands over his skin.
Jax was a veritable expert at taking his time, each kiss laying out a path of seduction and electricity hot enough to singe my nerve endings. He moved to my breasts, and I sucked in a breath of air and held it. His
breath cooled my too-hot skin in some places and added to the overheating in others.
“Your tits are fucking perfection, you know that?”
He wasn’t looking for answers. Instead he dipped his head to kiss the underside of my breast, and the breath I’d been holding came out in a rush.
Another kiss, this one lingering. I could feel his cock strain and throb as my body arched into the caress of his lips.
Bracketing my hips with his wide, strong hands, he held me in place as he dipped a tongue into my belly button. “Open, love.”
My hips jerked up, and his fingers dug into them. I wanted to comply, but I was shaking too badly.
Jax’s thumbs stroked that expanse of flesh between my belly button and my pubic bone. Even as he trailed kisses to follow his thumbs, he murmured words of adoration and lust.
When he moved his kisses lower, I wiggled my hips in anticipation.
“Have you forgotten how this works, angel? You part your thighs, and I will make you feel so good. I want to lick you everywhere. I miss your fucking taste. And there are things I want to do to your tits. But you’re going to come for me first. Then I’m going to have my way with you. Am I clear?”
I didn’t realize I’d whimpered until the soft sound pierced the air. His thumbs snuck under the tiny patch of sapphire blue satin. “Is it okay if I get rid of theses knickers?”
I nodded. Jax, wrapped his fingers around the flimsy fabric and tugged, the tearing sound filling the air. “I’ll buy you a new pair.”
My skin heated. His thumbs nudged my lips, and he hissed again. “Bloody hell, angel, you’re so wet for me. Are you thinking about the last time I was inside you?” He stroked me again, this time circling a thumb over my clit.
I whispered, “Yes.”
Stroke. Circle. “Are you thinking about that first night when I put my mouth here?”
An involuntary shiver wiggled up my spine. “Yes.” Oh God, he was going to kill me.
Stroke. Circle. “Good. I want you thinking about that.” While one thumb kept up the slow circular motions on my clit, he shifted his other hand to slide a finger into my heat. “Hm, so tight. So perfect.”
I moaned in pleasure as I buried my head further into the pillow. Shit. He really knew how to touch a woman. I was going to melt.
Jax…
She tasted sweet. The first stroke of my tongue had me groaning. Neela was so fucking perfect. And she was mine.
She slid her hands into my hair and I relished the impatient tug. God, she was so sexy. I had all the time in the fucking world. And I intended to use it. Especially now that I had her on my tongue again. The possession roared through me. Mine. Only mine.
I glided my tongue over the center of her soft core again, pausing to run my tongue in a slow, languid circle over the tight bud of her clitoris. She hitched a breath, and I smiled. "You like that?"
Her answer was a moan, and as she pulled my head closer to her moist center, I knew I was on the right track. "Tell me how you like it, Neela. Harder?" I demonstrated, and she groaned. "Softer?" I showed her what I meant, and I could feel her legs quiver around me.
"Harder." She gasped, and I obliged. Then she let out a soft curse.
I could feel her impending orgasm before she called out my name. I felt the telltale quiver of her thighs and tasted her sweet nectar on my lips. Her hands tightened in my hair. The sharp sting of pain made me shiver with need. My cock throbbed painfully, but I mentally wrestled it for control. I would not rush this. I would not be in a hurry.
Neela was different. Special.
As I kissed the insides of her thighs, she went limp and I whispered into her skin. How beautiful she was, how soft. I knew she probably couldn't hear me, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to say those things out loud.
She might have thought I was done, but I wasn't. I kept up with the teasing until I dragged a second orgasm from her before I lost the battle of wills with my throbbing cock and balls. I needed to get inside her. Needed to feel her tighten around me.
"Jax, please."
Lifting my head, I watched in satisfaction as Neela’s hands knotted in the sheets, and she threw her head back, ecstasy etched onto her face like the most gorgeous artwork. I didn't give her time to come down from her orgasm—tossing my T-shirt over my head, I leveled myself over her diminutive form. "Neela, look at me."
Lazy eyes blinked up at me, and the moment her eyes focused, she smiled the sweetest smile.
Fuck, I loved her. I knew it. I dropped my forehead to hers, our gazes locked. I would never be the same. She’d ruined me for everyone else.
I shifted her under me, and cupping her ass, I couldn't help but give her a squeeze. God, she was so sexy.
Her eyes remained on mine as I slid in to the hilt, widening as I stretched her. The moment her eyes clouded, I stopped and gritted my teeth against my need. "Are you okay?"
Her eyes narrowed up at me then she took matters into her own hands. She slid her hands down my back and drew me in deeper.
"Jesus." The curse escaped my lips before I knew what was happening. She wiggled around underneath me, encasing me in her slick heat from base to tip. Her eyes fluttered closed in an expression of bliss.
That did it. Unable to control my hips, I withdrew the tiniest bit and reseated myself inside her with a groan. Lowering my head to hers, I hissed in a breath.
As I thrust, I could feel her nails scoring into my back. Demanding me to move faster, harder. When she called my name, I was having the best fantasy of my life.
I felt the tingle at the base of my spine, and I gritted out, "Whoa. Stop."
Neela immediately went still. Forcing myself to stop the thrusting was another matter. My brain gave the command, but my hips didn't obey. Eventually, I pulled her tightly to me and rolled us over, not breaking the contact. Gripping her hips as I pumped, I begged her, "Ride me."
As she did, those magnificent breasts of hers swayed, and I thought there wasn't any other place in my life I’d ever want to be.
"Oh. My. God," Neela whispered.
I held on as her orgasm rolled through her and milked me.
Grip. Release. Grip. Release. God. As the tingle in my spine rolled through my gut, I followed her shout with a guttural one of my own. “Fuck, Neela." The strength of my orgasm forced me up off the bed. I held on tight, my hands grasping her sweat-slickened back as I soared into firelight.
She collapsed on top of me. As my eyelids fought the battle to stay open, I held her tightly to me. My Neela.
Twelve
Neela…
"So, you and Mr. Bodyguard?"
My face flushed. "Um, what do you mean?" The window was open to the balcony. I knew Jax could hear us out there.
"Honey, don't act like I couldn't hear you two last night. I mean, that must have been some hot dirty sex because all I heard was furniture rolling around, shushing, and then groans. Like deep manly groans. Please tell me that was a make-up fuck."
"Oh my God, Willa."
"What? He's on the balcony working, okay? He can't hear me." She turned to face me, and my gaze flickered over to the balcony. Jax looked at me and grinned and then mouthed, Oh I can hear you.
I was going to kill him.
"So, tell me all the juicy details."
"It's not... I, um..." I swallowed hard. "He—Jax and I, uh—it wasn't supposed to happen. It just kind of did."
"That's the best kind of happening, honey. How the hell do you think I got Mayzie?"
I groaned. "Please. I don't want to know. I already know way too much about your life that could possibly get us all murdered in our sleep.
She waved a hand. "The point is, I understand passion. And you guys... hmm, it's like every room you're in, you’re boning each other with your eyes. That's somehow even hotter."
"How does one even bone with their eyes?"
"It mostly looks like you guys want to eat each other, and anyone who gets in your way is going to be dead. I approve. He's better
than Richard. Ugh, Richard. How I hated Richard."
I scrunched my nose. "Did everyone hate Richard and just not tell me?"
Willa nodded and plopped on the couch. "Yep. We all hated him. You know, I don't even like Bex, but honey bunch and I were on the same page. Could not stand him. I still don't know why you put up with him for so long."
"Well, having someone was better than having nothing."
"You deserve better. I, for one, am happy that you're getting boned the way you need to be boned. I mean, he is giving you orgasms, right? Because you walked out this morning like your legs didn’t work right. And if he's working you over that good, it should come with lots of pleasure."
"Oh my God. What is wrong with you?"
"I'm just saying."
"It's none of your business."
"Okay, okay. Sorry."
Jax's gaze was on his laptop, but he grinned again. And I could see the way his tongue peeked out and licked his lower lips. Yes, the man was a master with his tongue and he was taunting me, which wasn't fair.
I would get into that later. Much later. Right now, I had to focus on Willa. "Yes, it's really none of your business."
"Hey, if my best friend is getting some, it is absolutely my business."
I ignored the comment where she called me her best friend, because clearly, she was ignoring the fact that we hadn't spoken in well over a year. I hadn't been there to meet her daughter. The first time I'd ever seen Mayzie was just a few weeks ago. But we were going to ignore all that and pretend none of it had happened. "Jax is, um, exactly what I needed."
That earned another grin. "Fantastic. Because you went far too long without."
He nodded along.
Jackass.
"Well, that seems to have rectified itself, hasn't it?"
Willa leaned forward. "I mean like, what does he do, because the little whimpers and moans I heard… I eventually had to put my noise cancelling earphones on. With those eyes, that intense kind of focus, I assume the man was good with his mouth?"
